


The Forgotten Knight

by Nickygp



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Eggsy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Heavy Angst, Jealous!Eggsy, M/M, Mentions of past drug usage, Miscommunication, Pining, Smut, lots of smut actually, mention of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-02 15:30:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 89,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4065085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickygp/pseuds/Nickygp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>6 years after V-Day, a plot to assassinate Harry ends up with him in a hospital, with no recollection of who Eggsy is.</p><p>Eggsy will have to put his feelings in the back burner in order to protect the man he loves, but will he succeed? And more importantly, will Harry remember him before it's too late - if he remembers Eggsy at all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The accident

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyEmrys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyEmrys/gifts).



> So this is dedicated - AS ALWAYS - to my lovely muse who puts up with me, and who causes me so much pain with her angsty stories.
> 
> You can find 2 lovely gifsets tumblr user hartwin-danny dedicated to this fic [here.](http://hartwin-danny.tumblr.com/post/126790844812/after-all-he-saved-me-first-for) and [here.](http://hartwin-danny.tumblr.com/post/128458528977/im-falling-even-more-in-love-with-you-letting-go)  
> You can hear a beautiful playlist made by hartwin-danny for my fic [here.](http://hartwin-danny.tumblr.com/post/127091311227/you-said-theres-only-one-place-left-to-find)  
> You can watch an amazing fanvideo made by ao3 user gentlekingsmen [here.](https://youtu.be/HaOX3MQd2Pw)  
> You can also find a fantastic cover for my fic made by tumblr user damntective [here.](http://eqerton.co.vu/post/128118283474/cover-for-the-forgotten-knight-by)
> 
> Edit: i have found a new gifset made for my fic! you can find it [here.](http://sophiecookson.co.vu/post/126790844812/after-all-he-saved-me-first-for)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it hits, it hits hard.  
> When it goes, it's gone.  
> We search our heart for traces,  
> clawing at the edges of time.  
> Maybe if we look deep enough  
> we'll remember.
> 
> But we won't remember.  
> We were made to forget.  
> \- Eternal light

Harry leaned back to rest against the leather backseat of the car, grunting tiredly as he rearranged his suit. He took off his kingsman issued glasses, putting them in his breast pocket before closing his eyes.

It was well past midnight, he knew, and he was supposed to get home three hours ago. He groaned, already picturing the unimpressed look Eggsy would surely give him in the morning.  He had missed their movie night, but in his defense, it really hadn’t been his fault. It wasn’t like he could blow off the German Chancellor, especially not when they were about to send two agents to German soil to complete a mission.

The car pulled up right next to his house, the driver giving him a polite nod as he said “We are here, sir.”

Harry gave the man a tired smile and murmured “Thank you, Henry, and I’m sorry for the late call.”

The man shook his head. “It’s quite alright, sir. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

Harry got off the car and walked to the door. He stayed outside for a few more seconds, wondering what would happen if he just didn’t go upstairs. It wasn’t that he was avoiding Eggsy – nope, he was most definitely not doing that – he just figured it was better to let the young man sleep, what with him being a light sleeper just like Harry.

He finally opened the door and headed into the kitchen, making sure to keep his footsteps light to not make any noise.

“Ya know, sneakin’ into a spy’s house at night is not the smartest idea,” Eggsy commented from where he was sitting on the counter, giving a lick to the spoon he was holding in his hand.

_Oh, Bollocks._

 Harry gave his husband his best disarming smile as he came to stand in between his legs. “Hello,” He said softly, resting his hands on the counter, on either side of Eggsy’s legs.

The young man took another spoonful of ice cream and put it in his mouth, frowning at Harry when he noticed the telltale signs that Harry was trying his best not to laugh. “What?” He said defensively as he swallowed the ice cream. “Everyone eats ice cream when their date ditches ‘em.”

Harry’s smile turned apologetic. “About that-”

“Don’t even try to excuse yerself, ‘Arry,” the young man said as he placed two fingers against Harry’s plump lips to silence the man.

Harry kissed the tip of his husband’s fingers softly, bringing up his hand to caress the younger man’s wrist. “A meeting with the Germans came up, and I couldn’t miss it.”

Eggsy sighed, taking his hand away to eat another spoonful of ice cream. Harry placed his hand in the nape of Eggsy’s neck, bringing him closer to kiss him. He nudged the younger man’s mouth open with his tongue, tasting the caramel ice cream.

“Are you eating my ice cream?” Harry asked once he pulled away.

“finders keepers, luv,” Eggsy said with a small grin, licking his already wet lips. “Yeh know I’m still mad at yeh, right?”

Harry kissed Eggsy again, trailing his hand up and down the younger man’s leg. “How about I make it up to you?”

“Nope, you ain’t getting’ any action tonight, luv.” Eggsy gave him a devilish grin, batting his husband's hand away.

Harry nipped at Eggsy’s earlobe in retaliation. “That doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you,” he whispered in Eggsy’s ear.

Eggsy stifled a moan; he was _not_ going to let Harry get away with this one so easily. “Did yeh clear yer schedule for Friday?” Eggsy asked slightly breathless.

Harry suddenly stiffened, pulling away slightly, a remorseful look on his face. “Well, not exactly. I-”

Eggsy rolled his eyes. “Friday is non-negotiable, ‘Arry,” the younger man said in a tone that left no room for argument. “I don’t give a fuck if it’s the bloody queen yeh are meetin’ with. It’s our anniversary, and I have plans.”

“I did clear the two meetings I had that night,” Harry was quick to reassure him. “But I need to meet with the Americans at five, and that meeting might run a little late.” He worried his bottom lip for a second before murmuring “But I promise to be home by seven thirty.”

Eggsy sighed, running a hand through Harry’s hair, shaking his head. Sometimes being married to the leader of Kingsman was a pain in the ass – not that he would ever change it. “Fine, but I want your ass sittin’ on that chair-” Eggsy pointed at the dining room table, which was visible through the kitchen doorway “- at seven thirty sharp.”

Harry nodded immediately, giving the younger man an indulgent smile. “Yes, _sir_.”

Eggsy chuckled as he shook his head, running his hand through Harry's soft hair. “Yeh are a right prat.”

Harry just smiled at his husband before catching Eggsy’s lower lip with his teeth, gripping the boy’s outer thighs to haul him up. “I think it’s time we go to bed, don’t you?”

Eggsy moaned and licked a stripe up Harry’s neck, smiling deviously before biting him harshly. “Yeh are still not getting anythin’ from me tonight.”

\-----------------------------------

“Rox, I dunno what the fuck to cook,” Eggsy confessed as he passed her a cup of coffee.

“I didn’t know you were cooking,” she murmured as she took a sip of her coffee.

“Well, yeah.” Eggsy shrugged, lightly blushing. “I mean I want it to be special.”

The woman gave him an indulgent smile. “Eggsy, it will be special even if you order takeout.”

“I know, I know, it’s just -” Eggsy sighed, his eyes turning warmer. “It’s been five years since the wedding, Rox.”

His friend hummed, squeezing his arm. “Well then just make his favorite.”

He looked away as he worried his lower lip. “I don’t know how to make lasagna, Rox.”

Roxy burst out laughing, clutching at her stomach as Eggsy gave her an annoyed look. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it was just the look on your face.” She gave him an apologetic smile. “I’ll help you cook.”

Eggsy’s expression lightened up immediately. “Thank god, yeh are the best, Rox.” Eggsy sat down next to her and hugged her, grinning like a boy on Christmas Eve.

“But we have to do it early, because I have a date on Friday,” she said as she patted Eggsy’s back, sporting a smug grin.

Eggsy raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Are you guys-” Eggsy’s grin grew wider. “Is Merlin-”

Roxy blushed. “I don’t know, so don’t jinx it,” she said in a hushed tone.

It was Eggsy’s turn to laugh. “Who woulda thought you were superstitious.”

“I’m not,” she said defensively. “But I’m not taking any chances with this.”

Eggsy raised his hands to head level, that smug smile never leaving his lips. “Whatever you say, Rox.”

The girl shook her head softly, unable to stay mad at her best friend for long - she needed to work on that, if she was honest. "You said you wanted to talk to me about something. Was that it, or was there something else?”

Eggsy’s smile fell and he suddenly looked away, standing up for good measure. “been thinkin’ ‘bout sumthin’.”

Roxy remained silent, knowing that prompting Eggsy would get her nowhere. He would either tell her on his own time, in his own terms, or he would say nothing at all.

“I just… well I think that – I already know it’s a crazy idea, but I wanted to talk to Harry ‘bout , well you know.” Eggsy blushed furiously, still not meeting his best friend’s gaze.

“No, I don’t know,” Roxy said softly, shifting on her seat.

Eggsy sighed, steeling himself as he turned around. “What do yeh think Harry would say if I mentioned havin’ kids to him?”

Roxy remained silent for a few seconds, trying to remember how to get her jaw back into place. “Oh my god, Eggsy.”

Eggsy groaned, flopping down next to Roxy on the couch. “I know it’s impossible, I just wanted to talk ‘bout it, ya know?”

“I don’t think it’s impossible,” she said truthfully. “It’s going to be bloody hard, but if you really want to do it.” Roxy bit her lower lip. “I think it’s definitely worth talking about it.”

Eggsy looked at his friend, his eyes gleaming with hope. “Maybe I’ll bring it up on Friday.”

“I’d say wait until the next day,” Roxy said as casually as possible.

Eggsy stifled a laugh. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Roxy gave him a half smile as she stood up and straightened her suit. “I’m always right, Eggsy.”

\----------------------------

Eggy walked into Harry’s office, giving Merlin a friendly wink as he made his way to Harry’s desk. He sat on the edge of the table, right next to Harry’s chair. He leaned down and kissed his husband, smiling as Merlin cleared his throat in the background just to spite them.

“You ‘ave half an hour to get all yer shit ready, a’right?” Eggsy said in a serious tone; it was the only way to get Harry moving. “I expect yeh to be home in less than an hour, ‘Arry.”

Harry patted Eggsy’s thigh comfortingly, giving him another peck before murmuring “Believe me, I’m not planning on staying any longer, love.”

Eggsy beamed at the man. “Good, but I’m takin’ Merlin with me anyways.”

Merlin gave him an offended look. “Hey, I’ve never made Harry late.”

“That’s bullshit, Merlin, and we both know it.” Eggsy stood up and walked towards the magician. He held out his hand. “C’mon, yeh also have to get ready for _your_ date tonight.”

Merlin shook his head in amusement but said nothing, letting Eggsy lead him out of the room.

Eggsy looked back at the man as they went down the stairs into the tailor shop. “Do yeh have the-”

“Outside,” Merlin said quickly, placing his hand in the small of Eggsy’s back as he ushered him to the car. He opened the door for the younger man as he slipped a small piece of paper into his hand. “That’s the address. Now, please, remember to take your fucking glasses off. I’ve been scarred by the two of you enough times.”

Eggsy couldn’t help but laugh at the seriousness of Merlin’s tone. The man really was a great mate. He had seen more of Eggsy and Harry than any of the other kingsmen, and he still talked to them and looked them in the eye – that had to count for something.

“Enjoy your night, Eggsy.” Merlin squeezed his friend’s shoulder, turning to go back into the shop.

“Merlin,” Eggsy called out, making the man turn back around. “this ain’t none of my business, but I’m just curious…” Eggsy leaned out of the car, lowering his voice as he said “are yeh gonna propose to Rox tonight?”

Merlin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but the man did not get the chance to answer, as a grenade went off inside the shop.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the amnesia fic I've been talking about. I'll be trying lots of new things so I'm excited about that. Every italicized paragraph (starting with the next chapter) is a flashback scene - there will be lots of them. They are not memories coming back, they are just contrasting scenes.


	2. Let me see him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I wanna know our love is so strong, even when its tough well hold on. Ill be there when the storm is all gone for you. Can we fall in love?"  
> \- Ray J

_Four bullet wounds._

_That was what the doctors had said "four bullet wounds", before dashing off with Eggsy on a stretcher, leaving Harry standing there pale and shaky, in the middle of the Kingsman infirmary, looking as if he had just seen a ghost._

_Four bullet wounds._

_The words wouldn't leave Harry's mind. They were chipping away at his sanity - if one could even say he had any left - as he waited for Eggsy to get out of the operating room. He had been in there for almost four hours now, and Harry was going out of his mind. He had gotten no news since Eggsy had been taken away, his husband's shirt dripping blood - there had not been any white spots left on that shirt._

_Four bullet wounds._

_Half an hour later - just when Harry was about to go into the operating room himself - a nurse came out of said room and rushed to meet Harry, who had immediately gotten up at the sight of the door opening._

_The woman reached him in record time, her gloved hands bloodied, and a scared look on her face. "Arthur... Sir, we are trying to stabilize the patient, but-"_

_"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence," Harry growled as he towered menacingly over the woman, their height difference working to Harry's advantage. "You are not allowed to fail." Harry's voice suddenly turned soft and controlled, which just helped to scare the woman even further._

_The woman swallowed hard, "We are trying, sir, but-"_

_"Then try bloody harder." Harry's fingers itched to get his gun, to shoot something or someone - preferably the one that had done this to Eggsy - but he restrained himself; it wouldn't do to go shooting the people that were trying to save Eggsy - at least not yet._

_Harry took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying his hardest to calm his terror-fueled temper. "Just know this-" He opened his eyes to glare at the woman. "If Galahad dies in that room, I will personally shoot-"_

_"Arthur, enough!" Barked out Merlin, glowering at Harry as he approached the two. He turned to face the nurse as soon as he reached them, placing a hand on Harry's forearm. "Thank you for the update, but it really would be more helpful to everyone if you went back into the room. There's an agent's life at risk - a life we don't want to lose." Merlin gave her a strained smile, turning only when_ _the woman went back inside._

_Harry bared his teeth at his best friend. "Merlin-"_

_"Shut up, Harry," Merlin snapped, his jaw tense. "Scaring the shit out of the doctors is not going to solve anything."_

_Harry growled in frustration, grabbing two handfuls of Merlin's sweater and bringing him closer, his eyes desperate. "Merlin, I can't lose him. I can't-"_

_Merlin's hard look crumbled as he brought Harry closer, pulling the man flush against him as he petted his hair comfortingly. "I know, Harry, I know." The man sighed. "Stay here, I'll go in and help."_

_Merlin untangled himself from Harry's vice-like grip, giving his friend's hand one last squeeze before rushing into the operating room._

_Harry began pacing around the waiting room, clenching and unclenching his hands as he tried to regulate his breathing. Never, in his almost thirty years of serving in Kingsman, had he felt this horribly terrified. He had lost people to missions before - friends, lovers, his mother - but never had he felt this paralyzing, gut clenching pain that squeezed his heart at the mere thought of losing Eggsy. He was quite sure he wouldn't even be able to read a children's book at the moment._

_It was frightening, really, to think that someone owned his heart so completely that the mere thought of going about his day without that someone made his insides churn and his knees weaken._

_He had meant it when he had told Merlin that he couldn't lose his husband._

\-----------------

_It took almost another hour for Merlin to come out - a calm expression on his face - to tell Harry that Eggsy had finally been stabilized and that he would be able to see him in a few hours._

_Merlin had refused to let Harry see the medical report, completely ignoring his friend when Harry had pulled the "I'm bloody Arthur, and you cannot withhold information from me" card. Harry had to give it to Merlin, the man had an uncanny ability to boss Harry around, regardless of who it was that wore the proverbial crown._

_Harry was snapped out of his reverie by Eggsy, who chose that moment to wake up, groaning softly as his eyes fluttered open. "Where am I?" The younger man croaked, wincing as his throat felt far too dry._

_Harry leaned forward, delicately taking Eggsy's hand in his, looking almost as if he was afraid to break it. "You are in the infirmary at HQ. You got shot."_

_Eggsy turned his head slightly to look at his husband. He smiled at Harry, mustering up enough energy to squeeze his hand. "Hey, luv."_

_"So you finally woke up," Merlin said with a smile as he closed the door behind him. "You can't do that again, lad. For a moment there I thought we were going to have to sedate Harry to keep him under control."_

_Eggsy's eyes widened with surprise as he turned to look at Merlin. "What do ya mean?"_

_"He went bloody mental," Merlin said, completely ignoring his best friend's indignant look. "He even threatened to kill the staff."_

_Eggsy shook his head, trying his best not to grin. It wouldn't be proper to condone such behavior. He turned to look at Harry, a brow raised. "A bit much, innit?"_

_Harry shrugged, not meeting Eggsy's eyes. His face was calm, but the slight blush covering his cheeks revealed his embarrassment. "I was not exactly thinking straight at the time."_

_"No shit," Eggsy teased, clicking the button to bring the upper portion of the bed up. He grabbed Harry by his tie and pulled him closer, giving him a chaste peck._

_Harry breathed out slowly, feeling as all the tension and anguish he had been carrying inside of him seep out, leaving him teary and shaking._

_Eggsy's throat clamped up at the sight. He had never seen Harry lose control of himself like this in public, which meant that his husband really had gone through hell. He sighed, wiping away the few tears that were running down Harry's cheeks._

_Harry gasped for breath, feeling his ribcage contracting. "I thought I had lost you, Eggsy. Dear god, I thought I had lost you."_

_Eggsy pulled him closer again, forcing the man to sit on the edge of his bed as he ran his hands up and down Harry's back._

_Merlin left the room quietly, closing the door behind him. He turned around to leave, only to find the doctor who had had to face Harry's wrath a few hours prior. "Ah, miss Abbot, I wouldn't go in there right now, if I were you."_

  _The woman gaped. "But I need to check in on my patient," She murmured, clearly trying not to show her annoyance._

 _"You can do that in ten minutes, but right now Arthur is in there." Merlin moved slightly to the side_ _to allow her to look inside._

_The woman moved to stand next to Merlin, her eyes widening with surprise as she saw her patient resting his head on Arthur's shoulder, whispering something into the man's ear as he ran his hands through Arthur's hair. Arthur looked terribly shaken, clutching at the younger man as if he was afraid to let go._

_"I had no idea Arthur was that close with his agents," the nurse murmured, clearing her throat as she looked away, feeling like she was stepping into a very private moment._

_"He isn't," Merlin said with a small smile. "That is not any agent, Miss Abbot; that man is Arthur's husband."_

* * *

Eggsy jumped out of the car at the sound of a grenade going off, grabbing Merlin by the wrist and throwing the man to the ground with him out of instinct. He got up slowly as he realized there was no incoming fire, nor anything to harm the pair of them.

"Harry," he murmured as soon as he was up on his feet, his throat clamping up with fear as he rushed inside, Merlin hot on his heels.

Eggsy walked in blinded, his mind solely focused on finding Harry. He broke the door to the man's office with a well placed kick, stumbling as he tried to rush in.

"Harry!" The younger man screamed, rushing to the man's side.

Harry was laying on the ground next to his bookshelf, his face and parts of his suit covered in blood. Eggsy kneeled next to him, raising a trembling hand to take Harry's pulse.

He thanked every deity he could think of the minute he felt a pulse, quickly turning to face Merlin. "We need to get him medical help, now."

Merlin nodded, moving to kneel next to Eggsy. "The fastest way to get him there is the shuttle."

"What if it's rigged?" Eggsy raised Harry's torso up slowly, resting most of Harry's weight against his chest.

"Impossible, the sensors would have picked it up," Merlin murmured with a grunt as he helped Eggsy lift Harry up. "Come on we don't have much time."

They quickly made their way to the tunnel, laying the unconscious man on the long seat. Eggsy put Harry's head on his lap to keep it from moving, not giving a damn whether or not his suit got dirty.

They reached HQ in record time, a team of doctors already waiting there. Merlin grabbed Eggsy by the arm, holding him back as the doctors took Harry away, rushing him to another room.

"Let me go," growled Eggsy, fighting Merlin's iron-clad hold with his desperate hands.

"There's nothing you can do in there, Eggsy." Merlin said, his voice strained with the effort of restraining Eggsy. "Let the doctors do their job."

"I need to see him," Eggsy pleaded, turning around to face Merlin. "He's hurt, Merlin. Harry's _hurt_."

Eggsy felt his knees give way and he fell to the ground, bringing Merlin down with him. Merlin wrapped his arms around Eggsy's shoulders, holding him close as the younger man shook with fear. He held him there for what felt like hours, saying nothing as Eggsy repeated the same words over and over again like a broken record.

_Harry's hurt._

\-------------------

Eggsy paced around the waiting room for a while before he sat down in a huff, only to get up again less than three minutes later.

His hands itched to do something - anything. He hated waiting around, he hated the suspense. The doctors had been treating Harry for the past hour - trying to stabilize his wounds - and no one would tell Eggsy anything; not the doctors, not the nurses, not even Merlin.

Harry had always hated the kingsman infirmary, what with all the accidents Eggsy got into because of the missions, but Eggsy had never understood him. He had never understood why Harry could not even go into this branch of HQ unless Eggsy was hurt, but now he finally did.

It was simply painful to be stuck in the damned waiting room without any news, without any distractions. He just needed to get out, to get some air, but there was no way in hell he was leaving Harry alone.

"You're going to cut yourself with your nails if you keep squeezing your hands like that," Merlin said as he walked into the room, followed closely by the same nurse that always attended him when he was wounded.

Eggsy resolutely ignored Merlin, turning instead to the nurse. "How is he?"

The woman cleared her throat, scratching the back of her neck. "He's stable, sir, but we are not sure yet what the extent of his head injuries are, especially since he's already been hurt gravely in the head in the past."

Eggsy flopped down on the nearest chair, burying his head in his hands as he tried to control his breathing.

Merlin squeezed Eggsy's shoulder. "He will be fine, Eggsy. The grenade did not go off properly, so it's impact was relatively small."

Eggsy gave his friend a shaky nod, trying his best not to think of the worse. He looked up at Merlin, his eyes as hard as steal. "We need to find out who did this, Merlin."

The man nodded, taking off his glasses. "As soon as we know, I'll dispatch a-"

"no," growled Eggsy, fisting his hands again. "I'll go."

The man gave Eggsy a concerned look. "Eggsy-"

"I want their fucking heads, Merlin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in case it wasn't clear, I'll be using a lot of flashback scenes in this fic. They'll always be italicized :)
> 
> I hope you are liking this story!


	3. Who are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm so scared that I'll stay here being in love with you, waiting for you, and then in the end..you'll just leave me."  
> \- Cassandra

_There were both pros and cons to having Eggsy be in a convalescent state._

_For starters, it meant that the younger man did not get to go on any missions, which meant Harry did not have to spend his days or evenings worried sick about whether or not Eggsy was coming back to him in one piece. That in turn meant being much more productive at work.  
_

_However the downturn of Eggsy not going on missions meant that he got restless rather quickly. The younger man hated not having anything to do for more than a few days at a time, and he hated having to stay home because of an injury._

_It was incredible to see the extent to which Eggsy would go to get either Harry to stay or to get to go to the office - even if it meant not going on missions. He was willing to do anything from trying to seduce Harry with sex to a full on stealth mission which involved getting in a car to go to the shop after Harry left, so that his husband couldn't stop him._

_It could be cute at times - anything Eggsy did was rather charming in Harry's view - but it certainly tried Harry's patience._

_Harry fixed his tie in front of their long mirror, looking at Eggsy - who was still in bed - from the corner of his eye. His lips twitched with a smile as he finished fixing his tie. He turned around and walked towards Eggsy, buttoning his jacket as he walked._

_"Try to rest, will you?" Harry said as he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning in to grab his glasses from the nightstand._

_"I've been restin' for the past week, 'Arry. I'm bored." Eggsy pouted, giving Harry his best puppy look._

_"Hmm, perhaps you'll be more careful next time you are sent on a mission then," Harry said without missing a beat, chuckling at Eggsy's sour look._

_"I'm always careful," he said defensively, crossing his arms in front of his chest._

_Harry laughed at that, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Bullshit."_

_Eggsy rolled his eyes and reached with his hand for Harry's tie, bringing the man closer with a tight pull. Harry let out a startled sound as he braced his hands on either side of Eggsy, keeping his weight completely off his husband as the younger man left trails of kisses up his jaw._

_"Eggsy-" Harry warned, suppressing a moan when Eggsy bit his neck and sucked at his neck, leaving a mark with his teeth, just above the collar bone._

_The younger man ignored Harry's warning, bringing his hands up to undo the first few buttons of Harry's dress shirt. Harry ran a hand through Eggsy's soft hair, trying to remind himself that no, they couldn't do this right now because Eggsy was still recovering from four bullet wounds, and he_ _had a meeting with the Queen._

_Harry couldn't hold back a moan as Eggsy pushed him back, quickly coming to straddle the man, pining his hands to the bed. "Eggsy we can't-"_

_Eggsy rolled his hips, grinding against Harry with a moan. "It's been a week, 'Arry. 'M fine."_

_Harry broke free of Eggsy's hold, bringing his hands up to Eggsy's hips to still his movement. "You are still bloody healing, Eggsy. If you reopen your wounds it is just going to take longer to heal. You know that."_

_Eggsy sighed, his shoulders dropping with disappointment. "Yeh are no fun."_

_Harry let his hands trail down Eggsy's legs, lifting him up and putting him back on the bed. Harry put the younger man's legs on the edge of the bed, Eggsy's feet almost touching the ground._

_"Harry?" Eggsy murmured, not understanding what the hell Harry was trying to do._

_The older man dropped to his knees, quickly pulling down Eggsy's pajama pants. Eggsy let out a breathless gasp as Harry stroked his quickly hardening cock with gentle fingers. Harry let his fingers wander, fondling with Eggsy's ball sack before moving back up to stroke the underside of Eggsy's cock._

_Harry smirked as the younger man screwed his eyes shut, clearly pleased by his reaction. Eggsy let out a yelp as the wet heat of Harry's mouth suddenly engulfed his prick, the man taking Eggsy in one go._

_"Harry!" Eggsy cried out, arching his back off the bed._

_Harry pulled back, resting his hand on Eggsy's chest. "Stay still."_

_Eggsy bit his lip, resting his back on the bed. He knew why Harry didn't want him moving - "You'll reopen your wounds, Eggsy" - but it was pretty fucking hard to stay still when he had Harry Hart in between his legs, sucking him like a fucking professional with no gag reflex._

_Eggsy moaned again, looking down to see Harry licking a stripe up the underside of his cock, before taking him whole again, the man bobbing his head up and down at a brutal pace._

_"Fucking shit, Harry. I, fuck-" Harry could feel the younger man trembling and twitching underneath him, trying his best to do as he had been told and stay still._

_Harry looked up again and locked eyes with his husband. Eggsy's mouth went dry as Harry pinned him down with the intensity of his gaze; the man's eyes were pitch black, filled with desire._

_Eggsy felt his cock twitch as the coil in his abdomen tightened and his vision blurred._

_"Ah.... Ah, Harry!" Eggsy fisted his hand in Harry's hair, his body shaking violently as the pressure in his abdomen uncoiled and he came, almost blacking out with the intensity of it all._

_Harry kept him pinned to the bed with his hands, swallowing wave after wave of Eggsy's cum, milking the man's orgasm for as long as possible._

_Eggsy whined low in his throat once the sensation of Harry's wet tongue against his prick became too much, thankful when Harry finally pulled back._

_He moaned again as he noticed that a trail of his come was visible on the side of Harry's mouth. The man leaned down to kiss Eggsy, nudging Eggsy's mouth open to make him taste himself. Eggsy trailed down his hand to squeeze at Harry's hardness, only to have his hand batted away._

_Eggsy pulled away slightly, a flash of hurt crossing his features._

_Harry kissed him again, murmuring against Eggsy's lips. "I'm already late."_

_"Five more minutes ain't gonna kill ya," Eggsy noted as he tried to touch his husband again._

_Harry let Eggsy rub him through his pants for a few seconds - unable to help himself as his prick was throbbing in his pants - bucking his hips against Eggsy's open palm. "No, I have to go. It's fine," Harry panted out, pulling away. "This was about you, not me."_

_"How selfless of yeh," Eggsy drawled out, shaking his head with fond annoyance. "Yeh're gonna regret not gettin' off in a few hours, yeh know that right?"_

_"I know." Harry gave him a small smirk, winking at Eggsy before leaving the room._

_God, but he loved the man._

* * *

Eggsy sighed as he leaned back against the chair, tapping his foot frantically against the floor.

It had been almost twelve hours since Harry had gotten out of the operating room, and he was still not awake. They had told him to be patient, that it could take up to a week for the man to wake up, but if there was one thing Eggsy was bad at it was at being patient, especially when Harry was hurt.

It was horrible to see his husband laying on a hospital bed looking so pale and still. It reminded Eggsy too much of the way he had found Harry after V-Day, with his face bandaged and his body bruised.

Eggsy clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to calm down his frantic heart. His head snapped up as the door opened to reveal a tired-looking Merlin.

"You should get some rest, Eggsy," Merlin said as he moved to stand next to the younger man. "You look like shit."

Eggsy smiled tiredly, grateful to have Merlin there with him. "Yeh ain't lookin' much better, guv."

Merlin chuckled, his smile vanishing as soon as his eyes came to rest on Harry. "He's probably not going to wake up today, Eggsy. Why don't you go get a few hours of sleep and I'll call you in as soon as he's up?"

Eggsy shook his head vigorously. "I ain't leavin' 'im."

"Then stay in the rooms downstairs. You'll be one floor away," Merlin pleaded, squeezing Eggsy's shoulders. "You'll be more useful to Harry if you are well rested when he wakes up."

Eggsy worried his lower lip as he considered his friend's words. He was tired, but he was pretty sure he was not going to fall asleep even if he tried. He knew his body all too well.

Merlin as if reading his mind murmured "take a dose of sleeping pills."

Eggsy shook his head again as he stood up. "Yeh won't be able to wake me up if I do that."

Merlin's lips twitched. "Wanna bet?"

Eggsy sighed as Merlin guided him out of the room and into the elevator, never once moving his hand from Eggsy's arm. He scanned his finger print on the room closest to the elevator, opening the door to let Eggsy in.

Eggsy waited for Merlin to close the door to let his shoulders slump. He looked around the room, thanking the heavens for the travel-size bottles of vodka and scotch standing on top of the dresser. Eggsy walked to the dresser and opened the small bottle of scotch first. Either someone had left them there, or Merlin had been absolutely sure Eggsy was going to accept the offer to sleep at HQ, and had left those there for him; either way, they were now his.

He stumbled to bed, leaving the open bottle on the nightstand as he flopped himself down on the bed. He rubbed his temples with shaky hands, futilely trying to get his tense body to relax.

He wouldn't admit it aloud, but it took him another two hours to finally feel relaxed enough to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

\---------------

"Mr. Hart?" The nurse murmured as she gently shook Eggsy.

The young man's eyes snapped open, his hand immediately reaching underneath his pillow for a gun that wasn't there. He turned to look at the nurse, trying his best to smile at her after scaring her. "Yes?"

The woman, who had moved back to give the startled man some space, gave him a shy smile. "Your husband just woke up, sir."

Eggsy scrambled to his feet, not caring that he probably looked like a truck had run him over. He ran out of the room and into the hallway, pressing the elevator button over and over again until the doors opened.

He sprinted to Harry's room, yanking the door open, startling the man inside.

"Oh, my god, Harry. Thank god you are awake." Eggsy rushed to his husband's side, carefully bringing the man in for a hug.

Harry stiffened under his touch and pulled away, looking warily at Eggsy.

"What's the matter, Harry? Are you feelin' a'right?" Eggsy asked, his voice thick with worry.

Harry's eyes narrowed down on Eggsy. "Who are you? What are you doing in my room?"

Eggsy stumbled backwards, feeling as if he had been slapped multiple times on the face. "Harry?"

"Merlin!" Harry barked out loudly, looking distressed.

Merlin ran into the room, the nurse hot on his heels. The man frowned at his friend, not understanding why there was a commotion. "What's the matter, Harry?"

Harry pointed a finger at Eggsy, still not meeting the younger man's gaze. "Who the hell is he?"

Merlin's eyes widened as he looked between Harry and Eggsy, his heart dropping to his feet. "Oh my god, you don't- you don't remember."

"Remember what?" Harry all but growled, looking annoyed.

"I need to speak to the both of you, gentlemen," the nurse said suddenly, yanking Eggsy and Merlin out of the room by the arm, leaving behind a very confused Harry Hart.

"He doesn't know who I am," Eggsy whispered, looking at Merlin with lost eyes, gripping his arm as if his life depended on it. "He doesn't have a clue-"

"Stay here," the nurse snapped at the two. "I'm going to call the doctor so we can get this sorted."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long in updating. I've been a bit busy. 
> 
> I hope you are enjoying the story!  
> (Remember the italicized sections of the story are flashbacks!)


	4. What do I tell him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up.”   
> ― Lauren Oliver

“He seems to have a form of… post-traumatic amnesia,” the doctor began hesitantly, far too acquainted with agents’ explosive reactions when given bad news. “The hit was strong enough to jostle his mind, and his memories. Due to his prior head injuries, we don’t know the extent of the injury yet, but we do know he has retrograde amnesia.”

Eggsy shook his head, looking extremely confused. “But he remembers Merlin. He remembers kingsman. I-”

“He remembers everything – as far as we can tell - with the exception of the past eight years.” The doctor interrupted gently, giving Eggsy a nervous look as the younger man paled. “We are not sure why that is the case, but we’ll start looking into it as soon as possible.”

Eggsy suddenly surged forward, grabbing the doctor by the wrist. “Will he get better?” Eggsy let the man go as he noticed the way in which the man’s eyes widened with fear. “Please just… Is my husband going to get better?”

“We don’t know, Mr. Hart,” said the doctor truthfully, giving Eggsy a remorseful look. “As I said we don’t know the extent of the injuries. Generally, yes, post- traumatic amnesia passes with time. It can take weeks, or a couple of months, like it can take years, and sometimes – if there was too much damage inflicted – there is the possibility that the patient will not recover the memories lost.”

Eggsy felt his knees buckle as his world tilted sideways – _this could not be happening_. Merlin caught him as he fell to the floor, bringing him back up again, supporting the young man’s weight with his own body. Merlin tried to swallow back the panic that was starting to crawl at the back of his throat; it was the first time since Harry’s “death” that he saw Eggsy like this.

He _really_ did not want to revisit those times.

“It’ll be alright, Eggsy” Merlin murmured hurriedly, trying to comfort his friend. “We’ll explain everything to Harry, and-”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” the doctor intervened, giving Merlin a hard look.

Merlin’s eyes snapped back to give the doctor a threatening glance. “Excuse me?”

“As I mentioned a few times already; _we don’t know the extent of the injuries or how the fallout will take place_. We cannot suddenly drop drastic information on the patient. We not only don’t know how he’ll react, but if the information proves to be too much for the patient, it can set him back immensely.”

“Then what, pray tell,” Merlin sneered, “do I tell Arthur about the past _eight_ years?”

The doctor stifled a sigh, taking his clip holder from the nurse’s hands. “Well there are certain things we cannot keep undisclosed, as Galahad here _is_ an agent. I think you should mention that he was his mentor, but do not talk about the… later developments in their relationship.” The doctor would not meet Eggsy’s betrayed-looking eyes. “V-Day is completely off limits. You can make up whatever story you want as to how the last Arthur died and he assumed his current position, so long as that is the story every single agent sticks with-”

“Yeh want me to lie ‘bout my _marriage_?” Eggsy growled, feeling like he had been punched in the gut. “’bout our life?”

“It’s a temporary – but necessary – measure, Mr. Hart,” the doctor murmured in a carefully subdued tone, obviously trying to appease the younger man.

“Temporary? That’s fuckin’ bollocks. What happens if he never remembers, eh?” Eggsy wasn’t sure what he wanted more; to punch the doctor or just throw himself off a bridge.

The doctor cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Eggsy couldn’t look at the man any longer. How could he say that to Eggsy, today of all days? He was supposed to pretend he was a stranger to Harry on the day of their fucking anniversary?

What had he done that was so bad to deserve such cruelty from the world?

This wasn’t supposed to happen to Harry. Ever. The man had come back to Eggsy from a bloody gunshot – battered but alive and with his memories _intact_ , Christ - and that had been supposed to be the end of shit like this. Harry had become Arthur. The man didn’t go out on field missions as much, he had knights to protect him. He was supposed to be _safe_ – or as safe as you get when you are a spy.  

He had already lost him once. Eggsy couldn’t do it again.

Except he hadn’t lost him, had he? No, this was almost worse than having Harry be actually dead, because now he’d have to face Harry – his boss – everyday, with a heart bursting with love, knowing that the man did not remember shit about him, and no longer gave a fuck whether Eggsy lived or died.

But at the same time Harry – perfect, brilliant, annoying, reckless Harry - would still be there to brighten everyone’s world. Eggsy would still get to see him, even if from far away. He would get to talk to him, perhaps even befriend him again.

Having Harry around - even if it meant not having a single claim on Harry’s heart – was better than not having him at all.

**\-------------------------**

Eggsy walked into the room slowly, tentatively, a bit afraid of how Harry was going to react.

“Ah so this is Lee’s son,” Harry said with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, turning to look at Merlin.

_Ba dum_

Merlin’s mouth was dry as he stared at Eggsy. “Yes, that’s him.”

“Well, it is a pleasure to meet you,” Harry murmured in a cordial tone.

Eggsy couldn’t breathe.

_He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. He couldn’t pretend to just – to not – how was he supposed to –_

“Would you like to sit, Galahad?” Merlin said softly, trying not to reach out to steady the younger man. He looked far too pale for Merlin’s comfort.

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” Eggsy whispered in his best posh accent. “I’m very glad to see you’re doing okay, Ha- Arthur. I apologize for my earlier burst, I had no idea-”

“It’s quite alright, my dear lad.” Harry waved his hand, dismissing Eggsy’s worries. “I am certain you meant no harm.”

Merlin looked between the two, clearing his throat after a second. Eggsy would need a diversion soon enough, to be able to leave the room, but he couldn’t provide one if he stayed in the bloody hospital room a minute longer. “I’m afraid I have things to do. Eggsy, meet me in my office as soon as you can.”

Eggsy gave him a grateful nod as the man turned to leave. Thank god he had Merlin to help him.

He rearranged himself in the bed. “Now, Merlin told me I proposed you?”

_Fuck, why the hell did he have to word it like that?_

“You did, sir.” Eggsy cleared his throat, the word sir too foreign to him when it came to talking to Harry.

“He didn’t tell me how long you’ve been working for kingsman.”

It was strange not seeing that fond look Harry always regarded Eggsy with in the man’s eyes. “Six years, sir, give or take.”

Harry nodded, his gaze turning glassy and distant as he became lost in thought. Eggsy flushed, digging his nails into his palms to keep himself from screaming.

He needed to get out.

He needed to get out of there _now_.

“Uh, I’m afraid I should go.” Eggsy cleared his throat, trying to hide the thick emotion that was trying to overwhelm him. “Merlin had a mission for me.”

“Of course, please don’t let me keep you.” Harry smiled at him again. “We’ll talk when I’m out of this bloody place. There are many things I need to ask, as I’m afraid I can’t recall you.”

Eggsy gave his husband – no, his boss – a stiff nod, before all but running out of the room.

He pushed past nurses and doctors, his body moving automatically as his mind focused on a single objective. He reached the bathroom in record time, yanking the first door to a toilet open. He fell to his knees, and retched, his eyes tearing up with the force of his heaves.

\----------------

"Eggsy," Merlin called what felt like ages later, as he found Eggsy sitting on the bathroom stall, his head resting against the wall. "Christ, Eggsy, we need to get you out of here."

Merlin crouched, pulling Eggsy up by his arms.

_yep, just like when he had found Eggsy in the cupboard after coming back from Valentine's bunker._

He placed his hand on Eggsy’s lower back as he guided the man back to his office.

Eggsy moved away from Merlin as soon as they reached the man’s pristine, and rather dim lit, room. He moved to open Merlin’s cabinet, taking out the expensive decanter which stored an even more expensive scotch. He poured himself a generous amount, downing almost the entire glass in one go.

Merlin sighed. “Eggsy-”

“Not today, Merlin,” Eggsy pleaded as he refilled his glass. “It’s my fucking wedding anniversary. I think I get a bloody drink.”

_Oh, fucking hell._

Merlin’s face turned stricken as he walked towards Eggsy. He took another glass out and handed it to Eggsy. The younger man took the glass from Merlin without a word. Merlin pulled out his phone as Eggsy served him his drink, quickly sending out a text to Roxy.

He had called the woman as soon as Harry had been stabilized and he had been given a minute to breathe again. Merlin had been quick to reassure her that he and Eggsy were alright, and had made sure to keep her updated as the night progressed, mostly because he really didn’t need a – rather righteously - pissed off Roxy to deal with at the moment.

_I’ll be home in a few hours. I’m taking Eggsy with me. – M_

_How is he coping? - R_

_I don’t trust him to stay alone the night – M_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated in a week. I was trying to update my other fic, and then I couldn't bring myself to write for a day, so I'm sorry (I'll update the next chapter faster I promise).  
> I have read quite a lot of articles on amnesia, so I have a rudimentary understanding of not only the types but the causes; however, I'll be molding Harry's amnesia (as I'm sure you've noticed already) to fit my needs for this fic.


	5. home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “If she loved him the way she said she did, she wanted him whole. Maybe this was what love meant after all: sacrifice and selflessness. It did not mean hearts and flowers and a happy ending, but the knowledge that another's well-being is more important than one's own.”  
> ― Melissa de la Cruz

_Eggsy nuzzled his face in the crook of Harry’s neck, breathing in Harry’s scent. Even after three years, Eggsy still found it surprising how much he enjoyed Harry’s natural scent – a mix of honey, scotch, and something uniquely Harry._

_Harry held back a laugh as Eggsy rubbed the sensitive skin underneath his chin with his hair, gripping’s Eggsy’s lower back a bit harder in order to keep his composure._

_“Are you comfortable?” Harry teased, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the quietness of the room. It was still very early – probably around five thirty in the morning - and so it was still dark enough to fall asleep again, not that Harry was planning on doing that now that Eggsy had woken him up._

_Eggsy smiled against his husband’s skin, wiggling closer until he was half on top of Harry. “Very, actually,” the younger man murmured softly, his voice still rough with sleep._

_Harry ran his hand down Eggsy’s back, eliciting a small shiver from the other man. “Well, we still have about half an hour before_ _we have to get up.” Eggsy smiled at Harry’s suggestive tone._

_Eggsy pushed himself up slightly to stare – not really since it was dark – at Harry. He leaned in to kiss him but missed, and ended up kissing the man’s chin. “Well, it’d be sad to waste ‘alf an hour-”_

_Harry’s cellphone suddenly started ringing, breaking the stillness of the room. Both men jumped, hitting each other in the face as they got even more tangled in the sheets when trying to move._

_“Bloody hell,” Harry grunted in annoyance, finally managing to flip himself to rest on his stomach to grab his phone. “Arthur,” Harry murmured, trying to hide his displeasure._

_“Sorry to bother you, sir, but we have a problem,” a young man – Kevin, if Harry remembered correctly – murmured hurriedly, clearly starting to panic._

_“What’s the matter?” Harry’s tone immediately changed, his mind snapping into the role of Arthur in mere seconds._

_“We’ve lost Gawain’s signal sir, and Merlin isn’t picking up his phone-”_

_“Calm down, boy, everything will be fine. Try reaching Merlin again. I will be there as soon as I can.” Harry ended the call with a frown, worrying on his lower lip._

_Kevin was still very new to the tech branch, and still had much to learn. Harry had no idea why Merlin had left the boy alone, and, most importantly, why he wasn’t picking up his phone._

_Harry looked back at Eggsy. “Call Lancelot, and tell her to find Merlin for me.”_

_“Yes, sir,” Eggsy said, his tone a bit off._

_Harry suddenly froze, realizing what he had done. He had promised Eggsy, once they had moved in together, never to bring Arthur to bed, and, if possible, to their home. “I’m sorry,” he breathed out. “I know I promised, but everything’s gone tit’s up at HQ and-”_

_Eggsy leaned forward to capture Harry’s lips with his own, silencing his husband. “It’s a’right babe. I’m sorry I reacted like that. I was just surprised is all.” He stood up, pulling Harry with him. “c’mon, we ‘afta go fix shit.”_

* * *

 Eggsy looked down at his watch, wetting his lips nervously. How could it be that only five minutes had passed? It had felt like an hour – a long, emotionally draining hour.

“Galahad, if you must leave, you do realize I won’t be offended?” Harry murmured calmly, raising a brow as he looked at the fidgeting younger man sitting to his right.

Eggsy’s head snapped back up at the sound of Harry’s voice. “I know, Ha- Arthur. I don’t need to leave. I’m just, uh, worried ‘bout a friend of mine. She shoulda called a while ago,” Eggsy lied through his teeth. He needed to be less obvious around Harry.

Harry sighed, giving Eggsy a calculating glance. “Why are you here, Galahad?”

Eggsy’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What?”

“Why are you here in this room with me?” Harry cocked his head to the side. “It’s been almost four weeks, and yet you still come here almost every day – disregarding the days you are on missions, of course. I’d like to know why.”

_Bollocks_

Eggsy wondered not for the first time, why his life had ended up this way.“uh, I dunno, sir.”

Harry remained silent for a few seconds, his lips twitching. “I think you just don’t want to tell me.”

Eggsy’s mouth went dry, and he averted his gaze. “I just wanna make sure yeh are a’right, ya know?” He shrugged, trying to think of random facts to try to keep himself from blushing.

“I’m touched by your loyalty, Galahad, but truly I’m fine. I talked to the doctors and I’ll be released in the morning.  You don’t need to worry about me. Go home and rest.” Harry’s eyes narrowed down on Eggsy. “That’s an order, Galahad.”

Eggsy felt as if all the air in his lungs had been punched out of him, and he gripped the armrests a bit more tightly, feeling dizzy.

_Harry would be released in the morning._

“Galahad?” Harry murmured, his brow creasing with concern.

Eggsy suddenly jumped up, giving Harry a tight-lipped smile. “Yeh’re right. I should leave. 'ave a good night, sir.” He all but ran out of the room, searching wildly for Harry’s doctor.

“Doctor Paris!” Eggsy called out, dashing to catch up with the doctor. “Why the hell didn’t ya tell me yeh was gonna release 'arry in the mornin’?”

The doctor fidgeted with his hands. “Ah, I relayed the information to the nurse. She was supposed to-”

“I don’t give a fuck what she was supposed to do.” Eggsy growled. “What am _I_ supposed to do? He can’t go home, not unless yeh wanna tell ‘im ‘bout our marriage.”

_This was exactly why he hadn’t wanted to speak with the agent._

“Not really, Mr. Hart,” he said softly, taking one step away.

Eggsy frowned at the man, taking a step forward. “Just spit it out, will yeh?”

“You don’t need to tell him anything, if you are not living there.” The doctor said with unsease, taking another cautionary step backwards.

Eggsy’s face drained of all color, unable to take a proper breath. “Yeh want me to move out of my own bloody home?”

“Again, this is just temporary,” the doctor murmured, trying to appease the enraged looking agent.

Eggsy’s nostrils flared. “Temporary? It’s been almost a month-”

“These things take time-”

“It’s my home!” Eggsy thundered, taking a step forward.

It was one thing not to be able to tell Harry they were married, it was something very different to have to erase their entire past for the sake of a lie.

“Eggsy,” Merlin muttered softly over the coms, the voice jerking some sense into the younger man. “You need to calm down. Harry is going to hear if you continue screaming like that.”

“But Merlin,” Eggsy’s voice broke as he turned to face the window, to look at his own reflection.

“I know Eggsy,” Merlin whispered, wanting nothing more than to be able to reach out to comfort his friend. “But they are his doctors, and they want what is best for Harry. Believe me I don’t like this anymore than you do.”

Eggsy briefly considered breaking the window for a moment. “So what, I 'afta take everything out? Throw everything away?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’ll store everything.” Merlin sighed. “I’ll do it.”

“No,” Eggsy bit out, clenching his fists tightly. “I’ll do it.”

* * *

  _“You know, I thought movin’ in was gonna take longer.” Eggsy scratched the side of his neck as he put away the last of his shirts and closed the dresser with a well-placed tap of the hips._

_Harry gave him a small half smile as he finished tying his tie, finally turning to look at Eggsy. “Well, considering that I cleared out a closet and a half before you came this morning, it actually took you far longer than necessary.”_

_Eggsy rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to just stick out his tongue. “We need to get yer guest room child-proofed.”_

_Harry stiffened, giving Eggsy a surprised look. “Pardon me?”_

_“Daisy’s gonna wanna stay and we can’t really say no, ‘Arry,” Eggsy reminded him, grinning at Harry’s scared look. “Oh, c’mon she loves ya.”_

_Harry shook his head, giving his fiancé a small smile. “it’s not that, Eggsy, it’s that this whole house is hazardous for a kid. There are weapons everywhere-”_

_Eggsy huffed. “Which she can’t access-”_

_Harry bit his lip. “I wouldn’t be too sure  about that,” the man admitted quietly._

_“Oh my god, ya mean yeh keep some of them without all the kinsgman protections?” Eggsy looked genuinely surprised._

_Harry looked away. “Sometimes, there is not enough time to go through every single one of Merlin’s safety features to get the bloody weapons, especially when you are under attack.”_

_Eggsy laughed, shaking with the force of his chuckles. “Merlin’s gonna kill yeh.”_

_“He will never know,” Harry said, trying his best not to smile back._

_“Well, yeh are gonna hafta tell ‘im, ‘cause we need those safety measures for when Daisy comes visit.”_

_Harry groaned, burying his head in the crook of Eggsy’s neck._

_Merlin was going to castrate him when he found out._

* * *

 Roxy walked in behind Eggsy, closing the door softly behind them both. She looked around the living room as Eggsy went to look for a few big trash bags. It was obvious Eggsy hadn’t been spending too much time at home since Harry’s accident.

Roxy scratched her arm as she look at the different pictures adorning the walls – pictures she knew very well, as they had mostly been taken either by herself or Merlin. There were a few here and there – mostly the ones that showed the pair on their honeymoon – that she did not recognize, but all of them had one thing that tied them together nicely; Harry and Eggsy looked sickeningly happy.

Eggsy came back, leaving a few bags on the table, before moving to stand next to Roxy. He began picking up the pictures and gently depositing them on the trashbag. Roxy noticed how badly his hands were shaking, but said nothing, knowing that now was not the time. She tentatively began passing Eggsy pictures for him to put inside the bag.

Eggsy took a look at each of them before actually putting them out of sight, unable to just put them away.

_Move closer to Harry, Eggsy… there we go, say cheers!_

_Should I put the timer? Do you think I’ll get there? Oh, what the hell, let’s just try it._

_Merlin don’t you dare-_

_Did you take a bloody picture of me sleeping? Eggsy we are not hanging this up at home._

_If you drop that baby for the sake of a picture, Merlin-_

Eggsy closed the bag with trembling hands, standing up only to lean against the wall. Roxy put her hand on his back as he took deep breaths, looking paler than she had seen him in many years.

Roxy squeezed Eggsy’s shoulder. “Eggsy, I can do it if-”

“No,” her friend murmured as he shook his head vigorously. “I have to do it.” He cleared his throat, pushing himself off of the wall. “I’ll be fine Rox, don’t worry.”

\----------------------------------

“Is that all of it?” Roxy said in a hushed tone as she plopped down on Eggsy's and Harry's bed, about five hours later, feeling exhausted.

Eggsy shrugged, rubbing his eyes, looking defeated. “I think so… can’t really know for sure.” He sighed. “It’s been too long since I moved in to remember all the changes we’ve made ‘round ‘ere.”

Roxy nodded, squeezing Eggsy’s hand softly. “I’m sure we at least got most of it.”

Eggsy gave his best friend an empty smile, quickly standing up to pick up some of the bags. “Will ya help me move this to the basement?”

Roxy froze. “The basement? Eggsy I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave anything here.”

Eggsy gave her a desperate look. “Rox, ‘Arry never checks the bloody basement. He made it a point when he lived alone to keep all the shit he needed upstairs, ‘cause he hates goin’ down there. He will _never_ find it there.”

Roxy looked unconvinced. “Eggsy-”

“Roxy I can’t” Eggsy’s voice cracked and he looked away, clenching his jaw. “I need this to stay ‘ere, Rox. I just need that, okay? I can’t bear t-to-”

“Fine,” Roxy conceded, noticing her friend’s desperation. “Okay, we’ll leave it here.”

“Yeh can’t tell anyone it’s ‘ere, Rox, not even Merlin.” Eggsy’s eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Roxy sighed. She _hated_ lying to Merlin. It was one of those things they just didn’t do to one another, especially because of the nature of their work.

Eggsy dropped the bags carefully on the floor and took his best friend’s hands in his. “Rox-”

“Okay, okay, I won’t tell him. I promise.” She gave Eggsy a small half smile, squeezing his hands.

Eggsy stifled a sob as he nodded. “Thank yeh, Rox, and thank yeh for comin’ today with me.”

“You know I’m here when you need me,” she murmured as she followed Eggsy down to the dark basement.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (remember Italicized paragraphs are flashbacks)  
> I hope you are liking the story. This is where it finally starts picking up speed (and the angst also gets worse from here on until almost the end), which I'm very excited about :)


	6. Don't touch him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am jealous of  
> your _bed_  
>  your _sheets_  
>  your _shirts_ and _perfume_  
>  and _smoke_ of your cigarette
> 
> because they wrap and cloud around you  
> touch you, feel your dark, soft skin  
> feel your warmth
> 
> when _I_ cannot do those things  
>  when _I_ am too far away  
>  spending my lonely afternoons  
> wishing to be
> 
> your _bed_  
>  your _sheets_  
>  your _shirts_ and perfume  
>  and _smoke_ of your cigarette.  
>  \- Patrcia Cikus

Eggsy loaded his gun and raised it to eye level for the umpteenth time, trying to ignore the growing pile of used target papers to his right. He took his first shot, the sound of the gunshot ringing loudly all around the room. He took a deep breath, forcing his heart rate to slow just like Percival had taught him and shot the entire magazine in one go. He lowered his weapon with a sigh, not feeling even a trace of pride at the fact he had hit his target either on the head or on the heart with almost every single bullet.

He left his weapon on the table as he crouched to take out another magazine from a large bag he had brought with him. He looked at the clock, freezing as he read the time; it was eight in the morning. He had been in the bloody shooting range for over eight hours, and he hadn’t even realized. He had honestly thought it was still maybe three or four in the morning. Jesus, how could he have missed the fact that almost nine hours had gone by?

Eggsy dropped the ammunition next to his weapon, rubbing his bleary eyes as he rolled back his shoulders. Right, he needed to sleep. No, scratch that, he needed to clock in for the day. He would have to make do with no sleep for a day – it wasn’t like he hadn’t pulled an all-nighters before; the only difference was that in all prior occasions, he had done it on purpose.

“Galahad,” Harry murmured in surprise as he suddenly walked into the room. “What are you doing here this early?”

Eggsy’s whole body visibly stiffened as Harry walked closer to the younger man. He turned to face Harry with a smile that probably looked more like a grimace, as he now apparently had little control over his body.

“Good morning, Arthur. How are you, sir?”

Harry gave the younger man a kind smile as he murmured “I’m alright, happy to finally be back home.”

 _Home_... a luxury Eggsy no longer had.

Eggsy nodded, turning to put the ammunition back in the bag alongside his gun. Harry’s eyes widened as he noticed the rather obscene mountain of papers Eggsy had used. “Are those all from today?”

Eggsy blushed, studiously avoiding Harry’s gaze. “I’ve been ‘ere for a few hours.”

Harry’s brows creased with concern. “A few hours? You need more than a few hours to go through that many rounds. Galahad, did you get any sleep last night?”

Eggsy fidgeted with his hands, knowing he couldn’t exactly lie to Harry when the entire room could prove him wrong. “Not really, no.” Eggsy cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “I’ve been havin’ trouble sleepin’ lately.”

Harry tilted his head to the side. “Nightmares?”

Eggsy smiled hollowly at the ground, tracing the edge of the counter where his gun had been a few seconds ago. “Yeh could say that.”

Harry sighed, touching Eggsy’s arm gently. “Mr. Unwin, if you need some time to-”

Eggsy jerked back as if he had been burned. Perhaps it was the fact that he had not gotten a wink of sleep in longer than twenty four hours, but his filters were basically nonexistent at that point, and so he whispered “please don’t call me that.”

Harry took a step back, surprised by the younger man’s visceral reaction. “Call you what?”

“Mr. Unwin,” Eggsy gritted out, clenching and unclenching his fists as he tried to bring his expression back to a neutral. “My name’s Eggsy.” The young man sighed sadly. “I know yeh don’t remember me, but please just…. I prefer Eggsy.”

_He had reacted that strongly because Harry had not called him by his name?_

“I… apologize, I had no idea-”

Eggsy shook his head, giving Harry his best smile. “No, _I_ apologize. That was rude of me. It’s just been a rough month for me.” Eggsy reached out and tentatively placed his hand on Harry’s arm before squeezing softly. “I should probably go check in with Merlin... see if he needs me.”

Harry only nodded, watching as the younger man picked up the large bag from the floor and all but ran out of the room.

He realized he had yet to have a full fledge conversation with the young man since he woke up. 

There was something strange going on, that much he could tell. Eggsy had obviously not taken well to his injury, but he could not tell whether that was from the strong sense of loyalty which the boy clearly possessed or something else. He also couldn’t tell whether they had been mere colleagues or close friends. If Eggsy’s reaction was anything to go by, then he had known the younger man well, and it was hurting Eggsy that Harry couldn’t remember him, but there was nothing he could do. It was not like he had _chosen_ to forget the younger man. He seemed like someone Harry wouldn’t want to forget, friend or not.

Harry sighed, hoping that Merlin would be able to clear things up for him later.

\------------

Eggsy walked into Merlin's office, worrying his lower lip with his teeth. He closed the door behind him, turning to face his friend.

"I need a mission, Merlin."

The man looked up at Eggsy, his eyes turning sad. "I'm afraid I can't give you one rigt now."

Eggsy's whole body stiffened as he walked closer to Merlin's desk. "I am more than fit for field duty, Merlin."

Merlin sighed. "It's not that, Eggsy. We have a meeting later today. Ravel is coming for the yearly report."

Eggsy fisted his hands, his nostrils flaring at the mention of that name. "No, he can't be here. Merlin-"

"I'm afraid we don't have a choice, Eggsy." Merlin stood up, squeezing the younger man's shoulder softly. "I'll have a word with him when he gets here. Don't worry."

Eggsy scoffed, shrugging off Merlin's hand. "That's easy for you to say."

* * *

_Eggsy wasn't a particularly jealous person, at least he didn't think he was. Of course, if someone would hit on Harry - which occurred far more often than he would have preferred - he would show them, not so politely, that the man was taken._

_He didn't cuss them out or was outright rude to them. e simply got physically closer to Harry; a few touches here or there, a hand in the small of his partner's back, a kiss to the cheek - or to the lips if the person hitting on Harry was particularly annoying - or just a few endearments thrown in when he knew the offending party could hear him._

_He wasn't that obvious about it. Okay, perhaps he was a tad obvious - especially when he snogged Harry, not giving a rat's ass that people were watching - but he could honestly say he was better than Harry when it came to other people hitting on one of them. Whenever a woman - or a bloke - would hit on Eggsy, the man's demeanor would change completely._

_He would treat the offending party coldly enough to make them retreat, but not before very obviously laying his claim on Eggsy by pressing the younger man closer to his side, or by outright kissing him in a way that left no doubts in people's minds just who Eggsy was going home with at night._

_But Harry always took it one step further; he would - without fail - have his way with Eggsy at the first available moment, regardless of whether they were home or not, to truly show both the offending party and the rest of the world just how taken Eggsy was. The man had a special predilection for marking Eggsy's throat with his teeth, which he knew drove Eggsy to madness when they were in the throes of passion._

_It could be a bit embarrassing at times, especially when Harry would refuse to wait until they got home and would simply drag Eggsy to a rather posh looking bathroom and would jerk a very enthusiastic Eggsy off before leaving his little signature love bite on Eggsy's neck, just above the collar of his shirt._

_That wasn't the embarrassing part though - that part Eggsy actually didn't mind, and often encouraged - the embarrassing part was that Eggsy would always end up finding the person that had first dared to flirt with him, and their eyes would always narrow down on Eggsy's neck, connecting the dots immediately._

_The conversations that would follow would always be awkward and short, which made Eggsy feel bad for the poor sods that had had to be on the receiving end of Harry's jealous streak._

_Still, he absolutely loved seeing that side of Harry, not that he would ever admit it. He wasn't about to encourage Harry on that respect. However, something he was very willing to admit was that - while he loved seeing Harry jealous - he didn't like being jealous himself, because that meant that some tit was hitting on his husband._

_So, needless to say, when Ravel - one of the french kingsman agents and an old friend of Harry's - came to visit the British HQ, Eggsy was less than pleased. He had had no problem with the man when he had first seen him, but the minute the asshole had planted a wanton kiss on Harry's cheek, Eggsy's opinion of him had plummeted._

_"Why the bloody hell is he so touchy?" Eggsy growled, flopping down on the armchair near the fire in Merlin's office._

_Merlin huffed out a laugh, leaning back against his own chair. "My boy, that man has had an infatuation with Harry for years." Merlin took a small sip of his drink, clearly lost in his memories. "They dated for a while, if I remember correctly."_

_Eggsy choked on his drink, spluttering all over the chair. "What?"_

_"Don't worry about it. It was never serious," Merlin assured him, patting his knee. "I don't think they lasted longer than a month. They were both just trying to find a way to let off some steam."_

_Eggsy clenched his jaw, tapping his glass. "Ya know, that ain't doin' nothing to make me feel better."_

_"Well it should." Merlin stood up to serve himself a drink. "He might have enjoyed fucking the man at one point in his life - a very long time ago - but Harry never loved him. He, on the other hand, loves you."_

_\------------------_

_Eggsy did not like the guy, at all. It was one thing to flirt with someone when you didn't know they were taken, and another very different to flirt knowing full well the person's lover was in the room._

_Ravel leaned in closer to Harry, giving him an innocent smile as he laughed. He touched Harry's knee as he tilted_ _his head and licked his lips, batting his eyelashes at Harry._

_What the actual fuck? Did he think it was okay to just disrespect Eggsy like that? No, it was not okay. The asshole needed to stop thinking with his dick and get away from Harry. They were all there for a debrief for fuck's sake, not to flirt with a married man._

_Harry politely moved his knee away from the man's touch as he got up to serve himself a drink. He could see Eggsy seething from the corner of his eyes, and he couldn't help but smirk at his husband's reaction. He was quite sure Eggsy had not assaulted the other agent yet simply because the other knights were in the room._

_Did the boy really think Harry could ever have eyes for anyone else when Eggsy was in the room? He would need to remind Eggsy later just how much Harry loved him, and just how unwilling he was to lose him._

_Harry walked towards Eggsy, drink in hand, and caressed the back of his lover's neck as he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on the younger man's lips right in front of Ravel and the rest of his knights, knowing that it would help calm his furious lover._ _Eggsy fisted his hands on Harry's tie and brought him closer as the fiery beast inside of him growled for him to bite and mark Harry right there, to claim him, to consume him so that no one else could._

_Harry was the first to pull away, his breathing slightly irregular, only to lean in closer to Eggsy's ear to whisper "I love you, Eggsy, and no amount of flirting is going to change that."_

_Harry finally straightened up, winking at his husband as he moved back to his seat, resuming his conversation with Ravel, who looked much gloomier than before._

* * *

Ravel walked into the conference room, smiling slyly at the man seating at the head of the table, wanting to piss off the younger man sitting next to Harry.

It had been a few years since he had last seen Harry, but the man looked as delectable as usual.

"Ravel," Harry gave him a small indulgent smile, getting up to greet the agent.

Ravel's brows shot up as Harry moved closer and kissed his cheek, lingering for a few seconds. The agent immediately turned to look at the man's husband to try to understand what was happening. Harry had not flirted with him since meeting the boy, and yet here he was kissing Ravel's cheek and lingering far longer than necessary.

The agent held back a gasp as he noticed that the younger man wasn't wearing his ring, and neither was Harry for that matter.

_Had they finally ended their ridiculous relationship?_

"Ravel," Merlin called out, his eyes as hard as steel. "Follow me, please."

Harry gave his friend a curious glance as he watched the frenchman follow Merlin out of the room. He hadn't seen the man this angry at someone in many years. He knew Merlin greatly disliked the man, but he had never been so openly vicious towards him.

_Had something happened between Ravel and Merlin that he couldn't remember?_

Merlin guided the man to his office, closing the door behind them. "What I'm about to tell you does not leave this room, are we clear?"

Ravel swallowed hard, before giving the man a shallow nod. He had never been to keen on displeasing Merlin, especially not after witnessing what the man was capable of doing when someone went against his wishes. "What is it?"

"As you saw, neither Harry nor Eggsy are wearing their rings," Merlin walked back towards his desk, and leaned against it, never once taking his eyes off of the agent. "The reason behind it is that, when the shop was bombed, Harry was injured and lost part of his memories. He cannot recall the past eight years of his life."

"So he doesn't remember the boy," Ravel said, trying very hard not to smirk. That was just _perfect_.

"Precisely," Merlin's eyes turned darker as he suddenly stood up, stalking closer. "That does not, however, mean you get a free pass to be a pig. Harry may not remember at the moment that he is married, but he is still very much off limits to anyone that isn't Eggsy."

The man chuckled, shaking his head. "Always the loyal friend, I see."

Merlin suddenly lunged forward, grabbing the man by the throat. "Listen to me carefully, Jean," Merlin spat out, knowing the man hated it when he used his name instead of his codename. "If you so much as stand too close to Harry, I will _break_ your jaw. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," the man breathed out, rubbing at his throat once Merlin finally released him. "Was that all?"

Merlin didn't bother answering the man, choosing instead to just walk out of the room.

The man chuckled as he looked around the room. Merlin could threaten him all he wanted, but the reality was that he couldn't touch Ravel. It was obvious they, for some inane reason, did not want Harry to know, and he was pretty sure punching someone in the face for no apparent reason would raise some bells in Harry's head.

Besides, it wasn't like Harry would be cheating on the boy. Harry couldn't remember him, so really Ravel had every right to help out an old friend get some release.

_Oh this was going to be fun._

\--------------

Eggsy sighed as he walked down the hallway to Harry's office, folder in hand. He couldn't wait to get rid of Jean. The man had not touched Harry throughout the meeting - thanks to Merlin, Eggsy was sure - but he wouldn't trust the man to not do something until his flight in the morning.

Besides, Eggsy could no longer deal with Harry flirting with the man so openly when _he_ was _right there_. Eggsy had never seen Harry behave like that - mostly because ever since he and Harry had started dating, Harry only had eyes for him. 

It was... unpleasant at best. It was fucked up to have to see his own husband flirt with that fucking prick. He was itching to slap the man, to tell him just where he could stick it, before kissing Harry right in front of him. 

Every time Harry smiled at the man or winked at him, the crack in Eggsy's heart grew just a little larger, left him just a bit more hollow, made it just that much harder for Eggsy to pretend he was not crumbling from the inside out. Eggsy was sure that, by the end of the month, his heart would shatter into so many microscopic pieces, he would never be able to mend it again.

He held the folder closer to his chest as he shivered at the thought. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take this.

He took a deep breath and pushed Harry's door open, forgetting - as usual - to knock.

He froze on the doorway, however, dropping the folder as he took in the scene in front of him.

Ravel was sitting against the edge of Harry's desk, his legs splayed, bracketing Harry's lower body. Harry was towering over him, his lips plump from their recent activities, and there, on Ravel's neck, was a rather large love bite, which hadn't been there the last time Eggsy saw the agent less than an hour ago. The man's shirt was also open, and his jacket was nowhere to be found as was Harry's.

The room went dead silent, the only sound coming from Eggsy's labored breathing.

_No, no, no, no,  this could not be happening._

This had to be a nightmare, just another one of the nightmares Eggsy had had to endure since Harry's accident. It had to be a nightmare, because his husband would _never_ do something like this to him. He would never trample all over Eggsy's heart, especially when he knew how hard it was for Eggsy to trust people.

Except _his_ husband was gone. This was not his husband. The man standing in front of him had no idea that it had taken months for Eggsy to believe Harry truly loved him, that he wasn't just a meaningless fling to Harry. This man didn't know that it had been a happy surprise for Eggsy to realize that not every relationship had to be like the one he had had to see his mother endure for as long as he could remember. This man had no idea he was married to Eggsy.

But Ravel _knew_ , he knew very well that Harry was a married man. He knew who the man was married to, and yet he had gone ahead and found a way to get into Harry's office to get in his pants.

Eggsy felt nauseous and lightheaded. He couldn't bare to look at his husband like this, in the arms of another man. He couldn't, not without wanting to hit them both. He wanted to scream at Harry, to shoot Ravel in the face, but he could do neither of those things, because, technically, Harry wasn't at fault.

The man _didn't know_ , and, more importantly, he _couldn't_ know.

"Excuse me," Eggsy whispered, running out of the room before Harry could speak.

He clenched his hands as a wave of treacherous tears started rolling down his cheeks, burning his face. Eggsy kept going without stopping until he reached Merlin's office, not even realizing he was there until he collided with the man at the door.

"Eggsy," Merlin exclaimed, grabbing Eggsy by the arms before the younger man could fall backwards. "Jesus, are you alright?"

Eggsy held back a sob as his friend continued to search his face for any indication as to why he was reacting like this. "Jean and H-Harry just-"

"Oh my god,"Merlin breathed out, his eyes widening as everything suddenly clicked into place. "Oh my god," he repeated like a broken record, frozen to the spot.

Eggsy couldn't bear to look at Merlin either. He just wanted to curl up in a hole and hide forever. He didn't want to see that look of pity in his friend's eyes. He didn't need it. He just needed his husband back.

Eggsy pushed away, shaking his head as a sob managed to escape his lips, before turning around and running out of sight. He thanked the heavens he had the layout of both the HQ and the shop committed to memory, as right now he was unable to see anything past the tears.

He ran to the shuttle, closing the door behind him without looking to see whether or not Merlin was following him. He fell backwards as the shuttle took off before he could take a seat.

He reached the shop in minutes and he opened the door, his hands shaking as another sob whacked his body. He wiped his cheeks clean and he took a few shaky breaths, clenching his jaw as he tried to swallow back a new wave of tears.

_He would not break down right now, especially not here._

He got up and swayed slightly as his knees still felt too week to hold him up. God, he was sure he was going to throw up.

He made his way up to the first floor, where the tailor - Andrew - sat behind the main desk. The man looked up at him with a pleasant smile, which soon turned into a tight, worried line once he took in the sight of the disheveled agent.

"Eggsy?" The man murmured softly, getting up immediately.

Eggsy just shook his head vigorously as he made his way to the door, not wanting to be in that damned place for a minute longer. He needed to get away from Kingsman, from the lies, from the killing, from the memories, and, most importantly, from Harry.

He just needed to be able to breathe again.

Eggsy reached into his pocket, pulling out his sunglasses as he began walking down the street, not sure yet exactly where he was going and not caring about it either. Anywhere far away sounded good at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew this was a hard chapter to write. I hope you are liking it!  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated:)


	7. Retribution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Vengeance, retaliation, retribution, revenge are deceitful brothers; vile, beguiling demons promising justifiable compensation to a pained soul for his losses. Yet in truth they craftily fester away all else of worth remaining.”  
> ― Richelle E. Goodrich

Merlin walked quickly down the hallway to Harry's office, his jaw clenched hard enough to hurt. 

There were a few things Merlin could not tolerate, and failing to follow simple instructions was one of them. He didn't mind as much when, say, an agent decided to follow his gut on a solo mission.

If said agent got killed, it was his own damn fault. If the agent, however, got someone else hurt, then Merlin's wrath would swiftly fall upon them. This was especially true when someone he cared about got hurt - regardless of whether it was a mission or not. 

Everyone that had ever worked with the man knew this, and they had all heard  _the story -_ Harry was especially fond of retelling it

Merlin still did not understand why it was such a big deal that he had single handedly dismantled a spy organization after the head of said spy organization had tried to kill both him and Harry. He had been an agent at the time, for goodness sake, that had been his job - not that he didn't have ways to get revenge now. 

In fact, he was pretty sure it would actually be easier for him to get back at someone now than it had been when he was still a field agent. 

Ravel knew all of this; he knew exactly just how much power Merlin had over Kingsman, so it made no sense for the man to purposefully go against Merlin's wishes. It was downright suicidal - not that that helped appease the magician's rage. 

"Sir?" Andrew murmured through the comms. 

Merlin adjusted the comm in his ear, stopping a few feet away from Harry's door. "Yes, Andrew, what is it?"

"Galahad just left, sir. He seemed... distressed." The man cleared his throat, clearly worried.

Merlin cursed under his breath. "Let him be, I'll deal with finding him later."

Merlin began walking again, reaching Harry's door in record time. He yanked the door open without bothering to knock; he was past the point of niceties. He inhaled sharply as he took in the sight of the agent, his shirt still partly unbuttoned and his hair out of place. 

_Oh, he was going to break every bone in Jean's body._

"Jean, _a word_ , if you will," Merlin barked, his nostrils flared. 

_Bloody hell, how could the man be that fast?_

Ravel swallowed hard, finally beginning to regret his choice of not listening to the man before.  

"What's the matter, Merlin?" Harry rearranged his hair, still surprised that his friend had not bothered knocking. It wasn't like Merlin to barge into a room.

"Mission," he gritted out, his steely eyes never leaving Ravel's. "Move, Ravel, I don't have time for this."  

The man promptly finished buttoning his shirt and followed Merlin out the room, feeling his skin crawl as Merlin gripped his arm in an ironclad hold, guiding him back to his own office.  

Merlin hauled the man inside, locking the door behind them. He turned to face the man, straightening to his full height as he stared Ravel down. It had been years since he had last felt the need to  _rip_  someone apart. 

"Merlin-" the man was unable to finish his sentence as Merlin lunged forward with a growl and jabbed him in the face. 

The man stumbled backwards only for Merlin to grab him by the throat and throw him to the ground to deliver a punishing kick to the ribs.   

"You fucking asshole," Merlin snarled, his eyes filled with anger. "I told you not to touch him, but you never listen, do you? No, you can only think with your fucking dick." 

The man grunted in pain, moving to the side to avoid receiving another blow from Merlin, but Merlin was - as always - faster. He grabbed the man by the wrist, hauling him up once again to deliver another punch to the man's face, feeling no small amount of satisfaction as he felt the man's jaw break under his fist. 

_"Batard"_ Ravel grunted out in pain, spitting blood to the side, not realizing he had spoken in his native tongue. 

Merlin grabbed him by the arm once again, pinning him hard against the bookcase he kept in his office. "Do you think your little stunt will go unpunished? Mark my words, Jean, if Eggsy does anything stupid tonight, I will personally make sure that you are buried ten feet under by the end of the week." 

He dragged the man out of his office, knowing that - as much as he wanted the agent to suffer - he needed to get him medical attention as discreetly as possible. Merlin didn't need to scramble to find an explanation for his actions right now. He had better things to do.

"Merlin?" Roxy murmured with surprise, freezing as she took in the sight of her lover all but dragging the french agent with bloodied hands. "What the-"

"Walk with me, Roxy," the man breathed out, not stopping to wait for her.  

She caught up with them quickly enough, realizing that they were headed for the infirmary. 

"Wait here," Merlin murmured as he pushed the door open, dragging the man inside rather harshly.

 The younger woman did as she was told, shuffling her weight from foot to foot as she waited. She had not seen Merlin this angry since... Heck, truth be told, she had never seen Merlin this angry, period. 

The man came out less than ten minutes later, his jaw still clenched and his eyes still burning with anger. Roxy stepped closer, placing her hand on his chest both to stop him and to center him. 

"What's going on, Merlin?" She murmured in a hushed tone, brining her other hand up to squeeze the man's arm.

Merlin sighed, giving in to Roxy's comforting touch. He leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. "Eggsy found Jean and Harry snogging in Harry's bloody office." 

She jerked away, bringing a hand to cover her mouth as a gasp escaped her. "Oh my god, Eggsy... I need to talk to Eggsy."

Merlin shook his head, taking a hold of her hand. "He left, love. You won't find him."

Her face twisted with fear as she gaped at her lover. "But-" 

"He should have his tracker on him." Merlin caressed Roxy's cheek and kissed her forehead. "I'll find him, Roxy. Don't worry." 

The younger woman swallowed hard, fisting her hand on Merlin's sweater. "He's going to do something really stupid that he's going to regret later, Merlin. I know him. He will be wanting to lash out."

"Well, then let's hope I find him before that happens," Merlin whispered, pulling away. 

Roxy felt her blood boil as she pictured Eggsy's face, tired and disappointed, as he left the shop. He had probably left without a place in mind, just wanting to get away from the pain that this place was bringing him, probably needing a comforting hand to keep him pieced together.

_No one,_ not even the bloody queen of England _,_ was allowed to hurt her best friend that way.

"I'm going to kill that prick," Roxy growled, heading straight for the infirmary. 

Merlin grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her back towards him. "No, Roxy, don't - I already broke his jaw. We don't need medical to file a complaint."

Her face fell. "But-"

"I get why you want to punch him, love, I do, but we can't risk Harry knowing that he's hurt. If we're lucky he'll buy that I sent him on a mission." Merlin pulled Roxy - who was still looking at the door that led to the infirmary - a little closer, wanting her to focus all of her attention on him. "I need you to do me a favor, honey."

She finally turned to look at him, knowing that Merlin wouldn't let her go into the infirmary, not this time. "What is it?" 

"Distract Harry until I can get ahold of Eggsy, and I can get Jean out of here."

She sighed as she came to stand on her tip toes to kiss Merlin. She placed her hand on his neck, bringing him down as she came to rest on her heels again. "You better make sure he ends up on a mission in Alaska for the next year."

Merlin chuckled and nodded, giving her one last, quick peck before walking away.

_Roxy was right, he needed to find Eggsy_. 

* * *

_Harry sat down on his black leather chair, which he kept in his study, smiling when Eggsy sat down opposite to him._

_"You didn't ask to be seated," the man noted, a teasing smile playing on his lips._

_"'M pretty sure we're past the point of me askin' to sit, babe," Eggsy replied without missing a beat, winking at his boyfriend._

_Harry chuckled and nodded, bringing a hand up to trace his bottom lip. "I talked to Merlin today, and he's considering sending you on a... honeypot mission."_

_Eggsy's face scrunched up in distaste. "Am I supposed to bang 'em?"_

_Harry cleared his throat and looked away, clenching his fingers._ _"Probably, yes."_

_Eggsy remained silent for a while, watching Harry. The man's lips were pursed, his jaw was clenched, and he looked very much pissed off._

_"'Arry are yeh jealous?" Eggsy quirked a brow, holding back a smile._

_"I can't say I'm too pleased at the news," he admitted, sighing softly. "But I'm afraid it can't be avoided. It's part of the job."_

_Eggsy nodded and stood up, rounding Harry's desk in four quick strides. He pulled the man's chair backwards and came to straddle the man, leaning in to breathe at Harry's neck. "Yeh know that I love you." Eggsy moaned softly as Harry kneaded his ass, his calloused hands firm and warm._

_"I know, but that doesn't mean I want other people touching what is mine." Harry bit at his earlobe, eliciting a moan from the younger man. "Still, I've been instructed to train you."_

_Eggsy stiffened, pulling away to look at Harry. "Train me?"_

_Harry smirked. "Well yes, I am going to teach you how to seduce your mark."_

_Eggsy scoffed, "'m pretty sure I know how to do that, babe - ah!" Eggsy arched his back as he suddenly felt the pressure of Harry's hand on his groin._

_"Lesson number one, analyze your mark Eggsy," Harry said in a low tone, teasing Eggsy as he continued to rub his arse. "Body language is key to understanding what they want from you."_

_Eggsy moaned, hiding his face in the crook of Harry's neck as the man began deftly unbuttoning Eggsy's shirt. He pushed the shirt off of Eggsy's shoulders, holding his neck up as he sucked at the younger man's collarbone. He pulled away a few seconds later, pleased to see a red mark that would surely turn into a small bruise form on his lover's skin._

_"Lesson number two, make them feel like you are interested in what they're saying. People like being the center of attention." The man leaned back as Eggsy quickly undid the buttons of Harry's shirt, sighing contently as he was finally able to touch skin._

_Harry pulled Eggsy closer, tracing Eggsy's thumb with his tongue. He began tentatively sucking at it, twirling his tongue the same way he would have had it been Eggsy's cock. He smiles around the digit as he noticed Eggsy's eyes darken with lust. "You are a beautiful man, so it'll be easy to make them want you, but you must also make them feel wanted."_

_Eggsy removed his finger from Harry's mouth in favor of kissing the man, moaning wantonly into the man's mouth. "Harry, if yeh are just teasin' me-"_

_Harry chuckled and said nothing, choosing instead to kiss the younger man again.He reached down to open Eggsy's trousers, squirming his hand in to palm Eggsy with little difficulty._

_Eggsy responded immediately, crying out as he gripped Harry's shoulders, buckling into Harry's touch._

_Oh this was definitely not just teasing._

* * *

Eggsy swirled the drink on his hand elegantly, watching as the amber liquid washed the side of the glass. It was not late – probably around seven o’clock – and yet there were quite a few people at the bar already. This was his sixth drink, and he could proudly say he was more than a bit tipsy. He finished his drink in one gulp, screwing his eyes shut as the drink burned his throat on its way down.

He sighed as the liquid did nothing to relieve the ache that was rooted deeply inside his heart. He had known it would do nothing to help. It was a lie every single miserable, heartbroken person told themselves to give themselves an excuse to get piss drunk. It was an excuse to find release; an excuse to be dumb and to do enough stupid shit to forget about why they were in pain in the first place.

It was also an excuse Eggsy was more than willing to use at the moment.

He had tucked away his kingsman glasses, and he had turned off the tracking device - knowing Merlin would be looking for him – just to get to be alone to drink away his memories.

The bartender approached Eggsy, a martini in hand. He placed the drink in front of Eggsy, giving him a polite smile. “Your drink, sir.”

Eggsy frowned in confusion. “I didn’t order this.”

“No, the man sitting in the corner did.” The bartended gave Eggsy a knowing smile before he moved away to get the order from a young woman who had chosen that moment to sit down next to Eggsy.

Eggsy turned to look at the man who had bought him his drink, filing away anything that might be important.

_Analize your mark, Eggsy…_

Eggsy flushed at the memory of Harry sitting in his study, teasing Eggsy with his voice.

_Dear god, he really should not be thinking about that right now._

The man stood up and picked up his drink, moving closer slowly, devouring Eggsy with his eyes. He sat down next to the younger man, a small smile playing on his lips.

Eggsy had to admit the man was good looking. His dark, smooth skin looked soft to the touch, and his big, brown eyes were hypnotizing. His mouth was curled up in a smug smile that was predatory in nature, but only served to fuel his sex appeal. He was probably in his late forties, but was very well built.

He was certainly someone that could help Eggsy keep his mind off of things for a while.

“What is such a posh looking lad doing in a place like this?” He asked in a low tone, his baritone voice making Eggsy’s skin tingle.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Eggsy noted, trying to keep the conversation away from himself.

The man chuckled, giving Eggsy another one of his signature smirks. “Well, I’m celebrating the end of a rather tiresome case.”

_Make them feel like you are interested in what they’re saying. People like being the center of attention…_

But did he want to lead this man on?

_Yes, yes he did. He needed to feel wanted, even if just for a moment._

Besides, it wasn't like he had someone to answer to. He was, for all intents and purposes, a single man. For goodness' sake, Harry couldn't even remember him.

“Oh? You’re a lawyer, then?” Eggsy asked, tilting his head to the side, gracing the man with a small half smile.

The man nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

_Vodka on the rocks_

“I answered your question, the polite thing to do would be to answer mine.” The man inched closer imperceptibly.

Eggsy shrugged as he looked away, still fighting with himself. “I needed a drink.”

“It’s one of those days, uh?” The man rested his forearms on the bar, his eyes never leaving Eggsy’s lips.

The young man licked his lips as he nodded, knowing exactly how that would affect the bloke sitting to his right. “Sadly, yes.”

“I’d say bad day at the office, but this looks a bit more like a bad break up.” The man leaned in slightly closer, arching a brow. “So, how far off am I?”

Eggsy chuckled, shaking his head softly. “Does it matter?”

“Well yes, actually. If it’s a bad break up then you’ll be looking for  a fling.” The man shrugged. “That’s what I would do anyway.”

Eggsy stood up and leaned closer, his heart ricocheting in his chest, and placed a hand on the man’s chest. “And what if I _am_ lookin’ for a fling?”

The man smiled again, placing both of his hand on Eggsy’s hips, rubbing small circles on his trousers. “Well, then we’ll both be looking for the same thing.” He traced Eggsy’s lips with his thumb, his eyes darkening when Eggsy’s tongue brushed against his thumb. “How convenient, that.”

Eggsy wasn’t quite sure who closed the gap first, but the next thing he knew was that he was kissing the beautiful stranger, teasing the man with his tongue. He felt the man’s grip tighten as he brought Eggsy closer, the man’s cologne filling Eggsy’s nostrils.

The next thing he knew was how _wrong_ it all felt.

The man’s hold was lustful, but not loving. The man’s breath was slow, but he wasn’t in control. He was a good kisser, but he didn’t know what drove Eggsy mad. There was no loving fire behind the kiss, no consuming fire to burn Eggsy. He _smelled_ wrong.

The man was not – nor would he ever be – _Harry_.

_Harry…. His husband._

_Dear God, what was he doing?_

Eggsy suddenly pulled away, covering his mouth with his hand as a wave of nausea hit him. This was all kinds of wrong, and he was at fault.

“I’m sorry, I can’t-“ Eggsy all but ran out of the bar, not turning to look back at the man. His skin - right where his ring was hanging from a silver chain on his chest - felt like it was burning. 

He had wanted to lash out, to hurt Harry in some way like the man had hurt him, except this wasn’t Harry’s fault. He couldn’t do that to his husband. He couldn’t – He _wouldn’t._

_Bloody hell, that had been a close call._

Eggsy pulled out his glasses, immediately putting them on.

“Christ, Eggsy, where are you?” Merlin murmured, frantic. “Why did you turn off your bloody tracker?”

“Merlin-” Eggsy’s voice cracked as another wave of nausea hit him.

“Eggsy, what happened?” The man sounded distressed.

“Just give me a mission, Merlin, _please_.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I hope you are liking the story!  
> Let me know what you think ;)


	8. An apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “'I'm sorry' won't fix what's been broken. It can't reverse time or undo the damage or change anything that happened. But a sincere, humble apology can serve to soften the sting and sometimes do a pretty good patch up job.”  
> ― Richelle E. Goodrich

Eggsy walked into Merlin’s office with a sigh, immediately noticing Merlin’s irritated look. He moved to sit down on the chair opposite to Merlin’s, tapping his foot under the table as he waited for the man to start lecturing him.

Merlin, noticing Eggsy’s defensive posture, rolled his eyes. He really did not have the energy to deal with this today. “You turned your tracker off.”

“I did,” Eggsy deadpanned, still not meeting Merlin’s eyes.

Merlin stood up, resting his hands on the table as he leaned in, a menacing look on his eyes. “And you left, without saying a word. You were off the grid for over six hours, Eggsy.” Merlin’s tone was carefully controlled, but Eggsy could almost feel the rage churning underneath the surface. “You had both me and Roxy worried sick, not to mention that we had to lie to Arthur to keep him from wondering why the hell one of his knights suddenly decided to run off.” Merlin was all but snarling at this point, his nostrils flared. “You better have a _very_ good explanation.”

Eggsy turned to look at the man, his eyes cold. “It’s all a bit of a blur, Merlin. Findin’ yer husband shaggin’ some other bloke will do that to ya.”

Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep calm. “That is not an excuse to turn your bloody tracker off, Eggsy. You are not a rookie, for fuck’s sake. You know better than that.”

Eggsy got up in one swift motion, bringing his fist down on the table. He closed his eyes, taking two deep breaths before finally looking up at Merlin. “I was angry and I was daft. I get it Merlin, ‘m sorry. It won’t ‘appen again.”

Merlin shook his head, sitting back down with a huff.  He considered for a moment mentioning the fact that Eggsy had all but butchered the mark he had been assigned on his last mission – the one given to him at his request after he had finally turned his tracker back on - but said nothing, knowing it was better to leave that topic untouched. He couldn’t really blame Eggsy for that. The younger man needed to let off some steam somehow, and if that meant being a bit more gory on the field, well then Merlin was not going to judge.

“Harry wanted to speak to you,” he murmured suddenly looking up at Eggsy. “I told him you’d go meet him in his office once we were done debriefing.”

Eggsy swallowed hard. “I dunno if I can see ‘im right now, Merlin,” the younger man admitted.

“I’m afraid you don’t really have a choice, Eggsy.” Merlin sighed again, squeezing the young man’s hand. “He is your boss. “

Eggsy smiled pitifully, half tempted to just run again. “What does he want?”

Merlin bit his lip and shrugged. “He didn’t say.”

\----------------------

Eggsy knocked on the Harry’s door softly, fidgeting with the lapels of his suit as he waited for Harry’s soft “come in”.

“Ah, Eggsy,” Harry murmured, dropping his pen on his desk as he gave the younger man a small smile. “I’m glad you came.”

Eggsy cleared his throat, shuffling on his feet. “Merlin said yeh wanted to talk to me?”  

 “I did, yes.” Harry cleared his throat, carefully standing up. “I wanted to apologize, about what happened the other day.”

Eggsy fought back a blush as he studiously kept his gaze trained on the ground. “s’fine… it was my fault. I shouldn’t ‘ave walked in like that.”

“That doesn’t change the fact I shouldn’t have been doing that at work,” Harry counter argued, placing a tentative hand on Eggsy’s shoulder.  

Eggsy stiffened but did not move the hand away, hoping Harry couldn’t feel the way his heart was racing from such a small touch. “It’s really fine, ‘arry. Yeh really don’t need to do this.”

Harry moved his hand away, and Eggsy wasn’t sure whether the move relieved him or made him feel even worse.

“Still, I would feel better if I could apologize properly. How about dinner? I’d like to show you that I can have manners from time to time. Besides, there are many things I can’t remember, and I was hoping you could help.” Harry smiled at Eggsy, that soft smile Eggsy knew so well.

Eggsy stifled a sigh as he worried his lower lip. Having dinner with a man who didn’t know anything about Eggsy apart from his name – whom Eggsy also couldn’t tell anything about anything – didn’t exactly sound appealing to the younger man, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice anyway. He’d just have to come up with some bullshit excuse to leave early. Perhaps he could even get Merlin to help him again.

“uh, sure, yeah… that sounds… fine.” Eggsy gave Harry a small smile, hoping that it didn’t look more like a grimace.

The man nodded, turning away to sit back down at his desk. “Well, then how about you come to my house around seven? Unless you’d rather eat out, of course.”

“No, staying in sounds fine.” Eggsy cleared his throat. “I’ll see you at seven, then, sir.” Eggsy turned around, not waiting for a response. He closed the door behind him, his stomach churning painfully.

He honestly wasn’t sure if he was going to survive the night.  

* * *

_Eggsy took out the onion powder and garlic as he swayed to the beat of the music, turning back to face the counter where a shallow plate with flour was waiting for him. He poured out a bit of both garlic and onion powder on the flour, adding a bit of salt and pepper for good measure. He left the ingredients on the table as he moved to the opposite counter to pick up the pork chops Harry had cut the night before._

_He rolled one of the pork chops on the flour, shaking it a bit to remove the excess as he placed them on a large Pyrex._

_“You can dance, go and carry on ‘till the night is gone, and it’s time to go…” Eggsy held back a chuckle as he heard Harry singing in the dining room. The man still wouldn’t admit it, but Eggsy knew he secretly loved Michael Buble more than he did._

_“Babe, shouldn’t yeh check on those potatoes. It’s been ‘bout ‘alf an hour since yeh put ‘em back in there,” Eggsy called out as he finished covering the six pork chops with flour._

_Harry walked into the kitchen, immediately going over to the oven. He turned on the little light inside the oven and looked inside, giving Eggsy a delicious view of his arse as he had to bend over to look._

_“No, they are not ready yet. I want the crust to be crisp.” He turned to face Eggsy, who had just finished putting the pork chops on the pan to cook. “Are you making the fruit tarts, or shall I?”_

_Eggsy huffed. “I know jack shit ‘bout fruit tarts, ‘arry.”_

_Harry stepped closer, placing his hands on Eggsy’s hips. “You could always learn, you know.”_

_“Yeah, no, I ‘afta  finish the pork chops and the salad. Dessert’s all yours, babe.” Eggsy gave him a quick peck as he turned around to check on the pork. The last thing he wanted was to burn it._

_Harry chuckled, opening a cabinet next to the stove, where they kept the tart pans._

_“Do yeh think they’ll be ‘ere on time?” Eggsy muttered once he finished cooking the pork chops._

_Harry chuckled, looking at his husband with a raised brow. “I don’t know, do you think the two most punctual people we know will be late?”_

_Eggsy rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to throw flour at Harry. “I meant do yeh think they’ll get ‘ere early. Yeh know how Roxy is.”_

_Harry hummed in response, taking out the grilled potatoes only to put in the dough for what would soon be a tart. “I think Merlin knows us well enough to know we won’t be ready for them until seven thirty.”_

_Eggsy nodded,  placing the lid on the pan. "Oh, by the way, don't mention Rox's parent's, or parents in general."_

_Harry, who had been stirring the cream, turned to look at Eggsy. "What?"_

_"She's takin' Melrin to meet 'em on Sunday," Eggsy explained as he came to stand nex to Harry. "She's nervous as fuck."_

_Harry's brows shot up. "Do you think they'll take it well?"_

_"Dunno," Eggsy said as he shrugged. "I'm hoping for the best."_

_"Well, Merlin is good at charming people," Harry said as he began chopping the fruit._

_"So are yeh, and my mom hated yeh," Eggsy pointed out, leaning against the counter._

_Harry rolled his eyes. "I was the man that told her her husband was dead, Eggsy. I wasn't expecting her to like me, and neither were you if you remember."_

_Eggsy moved to hug Harry from the back, resting his head in between the man's shoulder blades. "Well, she loves ya now."_

_Harry chuckled, turning slightly to kiss Eggsy's forehead. "I think we have Daisy to thank for that."_

_Eggsy laughed, running a finger through the cream filled bowl next to Harry to taste it. Harry batted his hand away, holding back a smile as he shook his head._

_“That’s for the tart,” he bit out, his words more fond than angry._

_“Shit, this tastes really good babe.” Eggsy grinned at the man, pulling him in for a kiss as he grabbed the spoon that was in the bowl. He pulled away to lick at the spoon. He grinned again at Harry’s annoyed look. “Oh, c’mon yeh have so many spoons. Yeh can just use a different one.”_

_“That’s not the point, Eggsy,” Harry said with a dramatic sigh, taking the spoon away from Eggsy to taste the cream himself. “Hmm, you’re right. It’s good.”_

_Eggsy rolled his eyes, giving his husband a fond look. “Yeh bastard.”_

_Harry chuckled, turning to face Eggsy. “Weren’t you supposed to make the salad?”_

_“Oh shit.” Eggsy immediately turned to open the fridge, quickly pulling out the ingredients he needed._

_“It’s alright. You still have about twenty minutes before they get here,” Harry murmured as he pulled Eggsy closer again to steal another kiss._

_They both froze at the sound of the doorbell, however, and turned to look at the door._

_“Well, I’ll be damned,” muttered Harry under his breath, pushing himself away from Eggsy. “You were right. They’re bloody early.”_

_Eggsy huffed as he took out a large bowl. “We should’ve bet. I woulda won.”_

* * *

 Eggsy knocked on the front door, feeling the sudden urge to just run away. He was unable to follow that instinct, however, as Harry opened the door, looking as dashing as ever. The man had changed into a grey suit Eggsy had given him for Christmas the year prior – not that the man could remember that, of course.

Eggsy gave Harry a curt nod as he walked in, not trusting his voice after seeing Harry dressed like that.

This had been a really bad idea.

“You’re early,” Harry noted as he made his way back to the kitchen, obviously expecting Eggsy to follow. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Great,” the younger man murmured in a small voice, trying very hard to think of something to say.

Harry sighed, letting his eyes roam the kitchen. “Now, if I could only find the salad tongs….”

“Second drawer to yer right,” Eggsy replied automatically, his eyes widening as his brain caught up with his mouth. “s’were I’d put it… ya know, near the, uh, sink.”

Harry’s brow shot up, giving Eggsy a dubious look before turning to open the drawer. He pulled out the tongs, his eyes narrowing down on Eggsy. “Why would it be practical to keep them there?”

_That was the same thing the man had said the first time Eggsy had suggested the idea._

_“_ Uh, well, yeh generally ‘ave yer hands dirty from the food when ya go to pull shit like that out.” Eggsy blushed as he explained his reasoning, not meeting Harry’s eyes. “It’s just easier to wash yer hands and then take them out.” He shrugged, still not meeting Harry’s gaze. “We was talkin’ ‘bout that once, and yeh thought it was a good idea.”

Harry took two steps closer, his eyes like laser beams trained on Eggsy. “We were talking about where to keep serving utensils?”

“Uh, yeah, we was talkin’ ‘bout food, and then we just… yeah.” Eggsy took a deep breath, finally looking up. “It’s not the first time I come ‘ere, ‘arry.”

Harry’s lips quirked minutely. “I figured as much, I just didn’t think we’d talk about something as base as where to keep kitchen utensils.”

Eggsy shrugged again, half turning away. 

_This had been a really bad idea._

“But nevermind that, please go and make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to serve our food, and I’ll join you in the dining room.”

Eggsy nodded, thankful for the opportunity to escape. Once alone, he began pacing around the living room, worrying his lower lip as his brain went a mile a minute. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to pretend he didn’t know Harry. The man wasn’t stupid; he’d realize sooner or later that Eggsy was hiding something – if he hadn’t realized already.

_What if he just told Harry the truth? How bad could it really be?_

“Are you alright, Eggsy?” Harry asked as he entered the room, leaving the two plates on the table.

Eggsy whirled around, plastering a smile on his face. “ ‘m fine.”

Harry motioned for him to sit down and Eggsy obeyed without a word, still unsure as to what to do. The doctors had told him not to say anything. They had to have a reason, right? They wouldn’t let Eggsy live through this torture just because.

“So, uh, how does it feel to be back home?” Eggsy asked softly, looking at Harry with a weak smile.

“It’s… strange,” the man admitted before taking a sip of his wine. “The house seems a bit… different, I guess you could say.”

Eggsy paled. “Strange how?”

“Well, there are a lot of things I didn’t used to have eight years ago. There are some ornaments I have never seen in my life, and I have no idea where they came from. I have quite a few new suits – such as the one I’m wearing right now – that I don’t remember buying. My study has also changed,” Harry murmured distractedly, almost as if talking to himself. 

Eggsy was very gald he had nothing in his mouth, for he was sure he would have choked. “What do yeh mean?”

Harry leaned back on his seat, wetting his lips before saying “I collect newspapers, as I’m sure I’ve told you – or at least I hope I have.”

Eggsy nodded, hoping that that was enough of a prompt to get the man speaking again.

“Well, there is a new stand in my study, and it’s filled with souvenirs from different countries.” Harry turned to look at the door that led to his study.  “I was never one to collect souvenirs, so I really don’t understand why all of a sudden I have all these little trinkets.” He turned again to face Eggsy, a small smile playing on his lips.

Fucking hell, Roxy had been the one to check the study, and Eggsy hadn’t bothered checking after her. Of course she had left the souvenirs; he should have known she wouldn’t know those were Eggsy’s and not Harry’s.

Eggsy had started collecting them as a way to separate his collection from Harry’s. It was a joke they had, as Harry had begun adding to Eggsy’s souvenirs whenever they had joint missions… and Harry couldn’t remember that.

Eggsy held back a gasp as a piercing pain crushed his wounded heart. He clenched his fists, digging his nails painfully into his palms under the table as he did his best to keep his face blank. “I ‘ave no idea. Yeh never told me anything ‘bout that.”

 _Why hadn’t he said anything?_ That had been the perfect opportunity to tell Harry everything.

_But what if the doctors were right?_

Harry hummed, his gaze turning distant for a few seconds, before his attention snapped back to Eggsy. “You know Eggsy, I’ve been meaning to ask you something, and I do hope you don’t find this insulting.” The man fidgeted with his hands for a few seconds, looking away. “Your behavior is confusing to me,” the man said slowly, gauging Eggsy’s reaction. He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the younger man looked as he looked at Harry with parted lips, making Harry’s heart skip a beat. His lips were simply sinful; Harry was quite sure he had never felt so aroused by-

 _Dear god, he needed to stop thinking of the younger man that way, especially since he still didn’t know what the nature of their relationship was. What would the younger man say if he could see what Harry was thinking – had been thinking ever since he had met Eggsy at the hospital_?

 “You came to visit me constantly at the hospital, yet you’ve practically been avoiding me since then. You seem to know quite a bit about me, which is strange as I rarely share personal information. You seemed to be… jealous – angry almost – after I kissed Jean.” He cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “I must confess I haven’t asked what I’m about to ask you before because it doesn’t make much sense to me. You are much - _much_ \- younger than me, and I’m also your superior…. Nevertheless, I have to ask.” He leaned closer, praying to the heavens that his face was blank, that Eggsy couldn’t hear the desperate hope in his voice, couldn’t see the raw desire in his eyes. “Was there anything going on between us?”  

Eggsy swallowed hard, feeling bile rise at Harry’s stiff posture and carefully guarded eyes. “There’s no need to sound so disgusted, harry. It’s a harmless question.” the young man said softly, feeling his heart throb in his chest.  

_So the doctors had been right after all. Harry would not be able to handle the truth._

Harry frowned, shaking his head softly. “I’m not disgusted. I’m merely trying to understand-” Harry sighed. “Look, I might not remember you – or anything that has happened for the past eight years – but that doesn’t mean I wish to hurt your feelings.”

“Yeh don’t need to worry 'bout my feelings, Arthur,” Eggsy bit out, anger quickly flooding his system as his body tried to defend itself from the onslaught of raw pain.

Before Harry could answer, Eggsy’s phone rang, breaking the tension in the room. Eggsy quickly picked it up, thankful for the distraction.

“Galahad,” he murmured in a hushed tone.

“I am starting to get tired of you not wearing your bloody glasses, Eggsy,” Merlin grunted out. “I need you to come in, right now.”

Eggsy held back a smile. He needed to get Merlin a fucking present after helping him escape tonight. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Eggsy ended the call, clearing his throat before getting up. “I ‘afta go.”

“You are avoiding the question,” Harry said, slightly annoyed, as he mirrored Eggsy’s actions.

“I’m not avoidin’ anything. I ‘ave a mission.” The younger man snapped, glaring daggers at Harry.

“Then _answer me_ before you leave," Harry replied, taking a step closer. "Were we together?”

Eggsy took a deep breath, his heart stuttering to a halt. He knew he couldn’t lie to Harry like that. He would rather die than say they had been nothing to one another. There needed to be some truth in his statement.

“No, we wasn't dating, Harry. I had – well ‘ave, I guess – a… crush on yeh.” He smiled self-deprecatingly. “But yeh don’t need to worry. It wasn’t reciprocated.”

There, that was the truth – well, at least their current truth.

Eggsy sighed, feeling wearier than ever before.

“Goodnight, Arthur.” He gave Harry a tight smile before turning to leave, not daring to look back.

_He needed a drink – or ten._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you'll get to read about an actual mission on the next chapter :)  
> I hope you are liking the story.
> 
> Let me know what you think <3


	9. I hear whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You hurt my best friend. I can make your death look like an accident."

_Percival stood next to Eggsy, his hands buried deep in his pockets. Eggsy was kneeling on the ground, looking through the small telescopic lens of the rifle._

_"We are about two thousand meters away from the target," Percival said softly, taking out a cigarette from his breast pocket. "The AS50 works best at a range of fifteen hundred meters."_

_Eggsy looked up at the man. "I thought Merlin had modified it to work on a range of more than two thousand meters."_

_Percival smirked at the younger man. "He did, but you don't get to use that one until you can master the original design."_

_Eggsy gaped at the smiling man, his brows furrowing. "I'm never gonna use this one on the field, mate. Why would I need to-"_

_"Because you need to be prepared for everything." Percival shrugged. "I'm afraid you don't have a choice, Galahad. You need to pass my module in order to be cleared to use sniper rifles in the field."_

_Eggsy groaned. "I thought Merlin was gonna do the trainin'."_

_"The bastard got Roxy, and I got you," the man explained as he blew out a wisp of smoke. "But don't you worry, I'm better than Merlin at this anyway."_

_Eggsy rolled his eyes, picturing how easy his best friend had it. Merlin was a bloody brilliant teacher, and Roxy was a quick learner - especially when Merlin taught her;_ _she would be done with the whole module by the end of the week, knowing them._

_Eggsy held back a sigh, training his eyes back on the target. He had never worked with Percival, but Harry had assured him the man was brutally good - though not necessarily the best at teaching._

_According to his boyfriend, Percival was their second best agent, right behind Harry who had long ago been crowned the best field agent Kingsman had ever had - something Harry always tried to ignore, especially now that he was mostly stuck behind a desk as Arthur._

_Eggsy pressed the trigger, cursing under his breath when he missed his mark by at least two feet._

_Percival shook his head, crouching next to the younger man. "You're forgetting about the wind and the mirage, my boy." He leveled his eyes with Eggsy's, keeping his expression calm. "Take a deep breath, Eggsy, and tell me what the wind trajectory is."_

_Eggsy did as he was told, feeling his heart rate go down as he concentrated on the harsh wind blowing on his face and on the sound. "Uh, It's going from left to right."_

_"Use_ _the proper terminology," the man tutted._

_Eggsy bit his lower lip, quickly going over every term that came to mind. "Uh.... It's a.... nine o'clock wind?"_

_Percival grinned at him, nodding softly. "What else?"_

_"Uh, I dunno," Eggsy admitted, blushing softly._

_"Well, first thing to remember is that crosswinds are perpendicular to your line of sight." Percival moved Eggsy's hands slightly, readjusting the weapon. "You need to compensate."_

_Eggsy nodded as he gripped his weapon more tightly, closing one eye to look through the viewer._

_"Remember to breathe," Percival murmured softly, moving an inch away. "Bring down your heart rate, and clear your mind. The only thing that matters is your target."_

_Eggsy let the man's voice soothe him as he took stock of the wind once more, making the calculations in his mind to know where exactly to point his gun, before pressing the trigger._

_"A beautiful shot," Percival murmured with a grin, getting up with ease as the bullet hit its mark. "You'll need to practice, but that was very good. I was expecting you to fail that one."_

_Eggsy gave him an offended look that only made the man chuckle. "No, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was that it generally takes people longer to make the adjustment, while you took it immediately."_

_Eggsy shrugged. "That's what yeh are supposed to do, innit?"_

_Percival tilted his head to the side as he suddenly said "Wanna learn how to use the Chaytac?"_

_Eggsy grinned at the man. "Yeah, A'right."_

\---------------    

_"You're such a little shit," Percival murmured with a breathless laugh as he propelled himself forward to shoot down two men that were running towards him._

_Eggsy chuckled, "Admit it, bruv, yeh love me." He checked the safeties of the harness, before jumping off of the top of the building._

_He felt the pull of the rope on his back as it stopped him from picking up too much speed. He pressed himself against the window of the tenth floor, before pushing himself off with his feet, swinging back and forth a few times before he finally had enough momentum to break the glass._

_"The cavalry has arrived," Merlin murmured under his breath, taking a small sip of his coffee as he watched Eggsy get the Harness off. "Percival is further down the hall. There are at least twenty people coming at ya, lads."_

_"Gotcha, guv," Eggsy murmured with a grin, taking out his two pistols from the back of his trousers. He ran towards the door, hoping there was no one there to greet him._

_Of course there were three armed men right behind the door; such was his luck. He grabbed the first man by the wrist and twirled him around, breaking his arm in the process as he used him as a shield. He shot the other two just as they turned to face him, weapons raised. He shot them again for good measure before doing the same to the screaming man he was holding rather forcefully._

_"I'm almost there," Eggsy murmured._

_"No, Galahad, get out of here," Percival grunted out, clearly under physical stain._

_"What the fuck are yeh on about, Percival?" Eggsy panted out as he raced towards the door at the end of the other hall._

_"I need you to get out of the building, as quickly as possible," the man said. "There we go!" He said, clearly pleased with himself._

_"Percival, talk to me bruv," Eggsy murmured as he opened the door, only to find Percival standing there._

_The older agent grabbed Eggsy by the wrist and pulled him back the way he had been running, never letting go of the younger man's wrist. "Come on, we need to hurry!"_

_Eggsy ran as fast as the other man, still trying to understand what was happening._

_"Percival, what the fuck are you doing?" Merlin growled._

_"You said there were about twenty coming, right? Well, I saw many more than just twenty and we don't have time." The man said defensively as he jumped over a desk, clearly expecting Eggsy to do the same. "So I just set up explosives."_

_"Oh you fuckface," sneered Merlin. "You are going to bring down the whole building."_

_Eggsy ran faster than before, quickly passing Percival. He reached the stairs in record time, jumping over the railing and praying to god his reflexes were good enough for what he was about to do._

_He jumped blindly, close enough to the wall to grab onto the first railing he managed to grab. He grunted out in pain as he hit his back hard against the rail. He pulled himself up with his hands, jumping over the railing to land once again on the stairs._

_He looked to the side, smiling to himself: he had just saved himself the trouble of going down seven floors. He ran the three remaining floors down, jumping over as many stairs as possible._

_"I'm too old for this shit," the older man breathed out as he followed Eggsy down the stairs, not daring to jump over the railing like the younger man._

_He took a second to catch his breath once he reached the first floor, running right behind Eggsy. The younger man held the door open for him as they exited the building, the floor trembling as the whole structure came down. Percival grabbed Eggsy by the hand and threw him on the floor, falling on top of him to protect the younger man._

_They remained like that for what felt like hours, waiting for the dust to settle. Percival pushed himself off of the younger man, falling on his butt next to him. He coughed out dust, taking off his glasses to clean them. He looked back at Eggsy who was grinning like a madman._

_"That was fun," the younger man quipped, eliciting a laugh from the older man._

_"Don't let Merlin or Harry hear you say that," he put his glasses back on, still smiling._

_"We are going to have a long chat about how you're not allowed to put Galahad's life in danger when you're back, my dear Percival," drawled out Harry, his tone dangerous._

_Percival grimaced, shivering slightly. If there was one thing every agent knew was that Harry did not fuck around when Eggsy was involved- he loved the younger man too much for that. "To be fair, Arthur, I was confident we were going to make it on time."_

_Eggsy chuckled as he stood up, dusting himself off. "Ain't nothing you can say to make 'Arry less angry. You gonna 'afta suck it up."_

_"I know," Percival sighed, getting up with Eggsy's help. "Lunch?"_

_"Yeah, 'm starving." The young man said as he began walking ahead of the older agent._

_"Your flight is in four hours, do not be late" warned Merlin. "Arthur will be waiting for the both of you."_

_"Bloody hell, he's angry, isn't he?" Percival groaned, opening the car door for Eggsy. "And here I was hoping you'd be able to fuck the anger right out of him."_

_"I can still bloody hear you, Percival," growled Harry, rolling his eyes._

_Dear god, that friendship between Eggsy and Percival was going to send him to an early grave._

* * *

Eggsy closed the door behind him, breathing in slowly as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

The room seemed like it hadn't been used in a very long time; whether that was true or just a ruse was anyone's guess. Eggsy walked slowly past a few desks, itching to turn on the light, but refrained at the last minute. He had no idea if there was anyone close by, but it wouldn't do to alert anyone that he was there.

Eggsy stiffened as he heard the muffled sound of voices coming through a closed door a few feet away from him. The place, as far Merlin had told him, was supposed to be deserted.

He inched closer, keeping to the wall in case someone opened the door. He readied his gun as he reached the door, pressing his ear against the door.

"There's supposed to be an agent here,sir," murmured a man in a gruff voice. He had a strong french accent - but then again it could have been Belgian and Eggsy wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. He wasn't particularly good at that.

"An agent?" Replied another, much softer, voice. The man seemed to be American.

"Yes, sir. That's what _he_ said." The man moved away, making it impossible for Eggsy to hear the rest.

"Hmm, well then _kill_ the agent," the American murmured dismissively after a moment. There was another pause, before the man coldly murmured "what are you still doing here? Go and find the goddamn agent."

Eggsy sprinted out of the room, before the other man opened the door, turning to the right as he moved down the hallway. "Merlin," he whispered. "My cover's been blown, mate. They knew I was comin'."

The man cursed in Eggsy's ear, before murmuring "how long can you hold them? Percival is nearby-"

Eggsy whipped his head around at the sound of yelling, ducking low as bullets started coming his way. He turned another corner, cursing as he saw another group of men coming his way. He kicked the first door he saw open, running in to - thankfully - find it empty.

He took out the four lighters he had with him, placing them at different points of the room, activated them as he went.

_Thank god Percival had spent an entire week teaching him the joys of blowing shit up._

"He's there!" Screamed a man from the door, shooting directly at Eggsy. The young man grunted as the bullet hit the bulletproof suit.

_The suit could be bulletproof, but it still bloody hurt to get shot._

"Eggsy," Percival murmured in his ear, his voice dripping with worry. "I'm almost there, lad."

_There was no time._

Eggsy shot the window down - thankful that he was only two floors up - and jumped just as the grenades went off, the blast strong enough to propel Eggsy a few feet to the right. He closed his eyes as he fell, picking up speed as he approached the ground.

He grunted in pain as he landed on his feet and rolled forward, feeling incredibly dizzy. He had forgotten what it felt like when four fucking grenades detonated so close.

The painful ringing in his ears wasn't fucking helping either.

He staggered to his feet, feeling a poignant pain right on his ankle. He took a few tentative steps, smiling as he saw Percival appear in a kingsman issued car, his eyes scanning Eggsy immediately.

The older agent threw the door open, before screaming "move!"

Eggsy did his best to get there, pretty sure he was walking in a zig zag. Suddenly he felt a stabbing pain on his neck, which made him turn around. He touched his neck, ripping away a dart.

His eyes narrowed down on the small object he held in his hand.

 _It was either poison or a sleeping dart_ he thought, before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised this chapter only has a tiny little bit of angst at the end.  
> I hope you enjoyed it <3


	10. Ghost Operation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I wanted to tell you all my secrets, but you became one of them instead."

Merlin walked into Harry's office, looking pale and worn out.

"Merlin are you alright?" Harry asked as he stood up, his faced creased with concern.

"Galahad has been hurt," the other man murmured, rubbing his eyes as he came to sit on the chair in front of Harry's desk.

Harry felt his gut clench with what he assumed was fear at the news, which was unnerving to say the least. He had been a kingsman for far too many years - had lost many agents and friends in the process - to have this kind of reaction, especially when he didn't know the boy.

Still, he couldn't help but feel afraid - afraid of not finishing their conversation, afraid of not being able to ask what the hell had Eggsy meant by "but don't worry it was unrequited."

Harry cleared his throat, leaving the pen on the table as he sat up a bit straighter. "What happened?"

"They knew he was coming," Merlin sighed, lowering his hand. "He managed to escape - Percival was there to extract him - but not before they were able to hit him with a poisonous dart."

Harry raised a brow. "Why would they shoot him with a dart and not a bullet?"

"I don't know," Merlin admitted, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. "It was like they knew bullets wouldn't work."

Harry paled, giving Merlin a worried glance. "How would they know that?"

Merlin shrugged. "I'm still looking into it, Harry. I don't know anything for sure yet."

Harry sighed, getting up to stand by the window. "Keep me informed, will you?"

Merlin looked up at his friend, his brow furrowed. "Aren't you going to-"

Harry turned around, looking at Merlin blankly. "Going to what?"

Merlin remained silent for a few seconds before shaking his head. "No, nothing."

Harry gave him an annoyed look. "What Merlin? Just spit it out."

"Nothing," the magician snapped, giving his friend a tight smile. "I have to go check on Eggsy. Percival managed to bring him in before the poison could spread, but I still need to check whether there are any lasting effects."

Harry nodded tersely, careful to keep his face blank. It would be unprofessional to show the concern he was currently feeling - not that he needed to be professional around Merlin. The man was his closest friend, but he still was very... confused when it came to Eggsy.

He had no idea what to think about the young man.

Merlin turned around and quickly left the room, stifling a sigh. It was the first time the man had not rushed to Eggsy's side to see if he was alright. It was the first time he didn't see Harry trembling with fear for the fate of his husband.

Merlin bit his lower lip, looking at the infirmary door with troubled eyes.

_What the hell was he supposed to tell Eggsy?_

\------------------------------

Merlin walked in to find Eggsy wide awake, a cup of water in his hand. "How are you feeling?"

"like shit," the younger man said with a smile. "But s'fine, the doctor said I was one lucky bastard, 'cuz the poison didn't spread far, so there should be no side effects."

Merlin pushed a chair closer to the bed and sat down, grunting as he lowered himself to sit. They looked at each other for a few tense seconds, neither willing to acknowledge the fact that Harry wasn't there - would probably never again be there.

Merlin took in Eggsy's tense pose, his sad eyes, and sighed. "Eggsy-"

"No, Merlin," the younger man said immediately. "We're not doin' this. We 'ave better shit to talk about."

Merlin leaned back, interlocking his fingers. "What do you want to talk about?"

"There's a mole, Merlin," he said softly, not taking his eyes off of his friend. "There's a mole in our division."

Merlin's jaw tensed. "What makes you say that?"

"They knew I was comin', and they mentioned that someone had given 'em that information. My missions are only disclosed to agents 'ere, in our HQ. They also knew them bullets wasn't gonna work."

Merlin nodded, tapping his fingers quickly against the armrest. "I was thinking the same, actually. I found something the other day; a failed transmission - or what appeared to be a failed transmission- between someone here in HQ and someone in the American branch. The transmission was set right after the grenade exploded here."

Eggsy tensed, fisting his hands. "There was a group of American agents here when the bomb went off."

Merlin nodded, turning on his clipboard. "Turn it off," Eggsy said suddenly, looking around the room. "Turn everything off - any cameras or shit like that."

Merlin did as he was told, feeling more confused than ever. "Eggsy?"

The younger man turned to face him, yanking Merlin closer by the arm. "If we're right, Merlin - and I know we are - then the mole is tryin' to kill Harry."

Merlin bit his lower lip, not moving away. "We don't know if the two are connected yet-"

"Merlin, they 'ave to be, and I don't know if yeh 'ave noticed but Harry is still fucking alive. They're gonna try again, Merlin." Eggsy's voice was desperate.

"But why have they waited so long? It doesn't make any sense," the older man responded, gripping Eggsy's hand.

"I don't know yet, Merlin, but we need to do sumthin', and we need to keep it quiet, until we know who the mole is." Eggsy leaned back against the bed, squeezing Merlin's hand hard enough to hurt.

"Well how the hell do you propose we do that?" Merlin murmured with a frown. "The mole will know something is wrong if suddenly your missions are kept from the rest."

Eggsy looked away as he whispered "we could activate Ghost Protocol."

Merlin jerked away, immediately standing up.

_How the hell did Eggsy know about that? Had Harry told him?_

"No, Eggsy we're not doing that." The man's tone left no room for arguing. 

Eggsy sighed. "Merlin it's the only way-"

"Do you realize what you are asking for?" The man growled, his eyes furious. "If we activate Ghost Protocol, you will stop being an agent and you will become an asset that, while important, can be disposed of." The man began pacing around the room, his nostrils flared.

Eggsy stared at him blankly. "I am aware of that, Merlin."

"Are you really?" The man gave him a dubious look. "I don't think you understand what that means, Eggsy. As an agent, you are protected by Kingsman. If you are captured by a government, we'll get you out. If you are captured by a spy ring or a drug cartel, or anyone for that matter, we will try to do our best to find you. You can request for backup, and you have the support of all of the knights - and Arthur - at your disposal. Ghost protocol strips you away from all of that. If you become an asset, no one will be there to rescue you if you are captured and tortured. No one will try to recover your body if you are killed. You will never have backup-"

"I know all that, Merlin," snapped Eggsy, rubbing his eyes impatiently.

"Then why-" Merlin froze, turning to face Eggsy. "Do you want to get yourself killed?"

Eggsy gaped at his friend, looking outraged. "Bloody hell, Merlin, have a bit more faith in me-"

"No one that has ever entered our ghost protocol has survived Eggsy, no one," Merlin murmured slowly, assessing the young man's reaction.

"But their missions have mostly been successful," Eggsy said quietly as he looked at his hands. "I'm not gonna try to purposefully get myself killed, but the only way to save Harry is if we do this." Eggsy took a deep breath, looking back up at Merlin. "If by my life - or death - I can save him, then yeh need to understand that I will."

"I'm afraid I can't allow that," Merlin said tersely, leaning against the front rail of the bed.

"That's not yer choice to make, Merlin," Eggsy bit out, clenching his fists as to avoid getting up and hitting the man.

Merlin pushed himself away from the bed only to begin pacing again, his hands trembling slightly. "Say we activate it.... Say we do and you die, and say Harry gets his memories back. What then?" He turned to face Eggsy, giving the younger man a broken look. "What do I do when my best friend comes to me and demands to know why the hell I allowed his husband to take on the ghost protocol, knowing he'd die?"

Eggsy's heart sunk to his feet. He could see why Merlin was resilient, but he _needed_ to do this. "First of all he ain't ever gonna remember me. No don't interrupt me," Eggsy growled when Merlin opened his mouth to speak. "The doctors 'emselves said the chances of Harry remembering are so low, we shouldn't even hold out hope. So even from the get go, yer assumption is bullshit, bruv. Second of all, If that actually were to happen, then yeh will explain that I didn't give yeh a choice, and that it was his life on the fuckin' line. Yeh'll tell 'im that I knew the risks and that I decided to take 'em."

Merlin shook his head. "Eggsy-"

Eggsy raised his hand, stopping his friend. "Merlin, do yeh remember what I said, when I was readin' them vows to Harry five years ago?"

Merlin swallowed hard, giving the young man a hard look. They both knew he remembered; Merlin had perfect memory. "You said 'I promise to love you everyday of this life and the next. I promise to be there in sickness and in health. I promise to protect you with everything I have - even if it costs me my life. I can't promise to never make you angry, or to never make you wish you hadn't married me in the first place, but I can promise you that I'll just smack you in the head and you'll get over it."

Eggsy gave Merlin a sad smile and nodded. "My husband is the most important person in my life Merlin, and I intent to keep that vow, 'till the end of my life."

Merlin looked down and sighed, knowing he'd not be able to dissuade the man.

Eggsy smiled softly. "Yeh know I'm right, Merlin. Even if yeh look at it from a logical standpoint."

Merlin raised a brow, clearly not convinced. "I'm afraid I don't see your point, my dear Galahad."

"I'm an agent, so I'm expendable. Yes, I'm no as expendable as I'll be under the ghost protocol, but I'm still expendable." Eggsy shrugged. "Arthur on the other hand, isn't. He's the head of Kingsman. Losin' Arthur ain't an option, Merlin."

"We've lost him before, Eggsy," Merlin reminded him.

"Not the same at all. The last Arthur was a fuckin' traitor; Harry ain't." Eggsy's voice was harsh and cold. "'Harry is the best Arthur we've had, and he has bloody good connections. Kinsgman would 'ave to start over. This ain't only about me." Eggsy swallowed hard, leaning forward. "Ghost Protocol will keep everything a secret. The mole won't know what hit 'im, and no one will know."

Merlin worried his lower lip and looked away. "I don't like it."

Eggsy smiled sadly. "Yeh don't 'ave to, bruv. Yeh just 'afta go along with it."

Merlin nodded tersely after a few moments, still not looking at Eggsy in the eye.

"Oh, and, Merlin, yeh must promise me sumthin', guv," Eggsy murmured, his voice suddenly soft.

Merlin sat back down to face his friend, looking worn out. "What?"

"Yeh 'afta follow protocol, until this mission is over. We can't risk this." Eggsy squeezed Merlin's hand as he saw the man's face crumble.

Merlin took a deep breath, before he steeled himself and squeezed back.

_God help him, he was going to lose his mind._

"Have it your way, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I totally took that name because I was watching mission impossible when I wrote the outline of this fic. The plots are not related btw, I just really like the sound of "Ghost operation". ;)


	11. I Quit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay with me tonight.  
> Let me hold you, even if that's all it is.  
> Let me keep you safe.  
> \- Becca Fitzpatrcik

_Eggsy leaned back on his chair as he took a sip of his glass of water. He waited for Harry to swallow the piece of broccoli he had in his mouth to say "So yeh gonna explain to me what that ghost protocol is about?"_

_Harry choked on his water, giving Eggsy an alarmed look. "How the bloody hell do you know about that?"_

_"It was on yer desk." The young man shrugged. "I saw them papers when I was lookin' for yer briefcase this mornin’."_

_Harry swallowed hard, cursing himself internally; he should never have left such a document laying around. "I'm afraid it's not something I can talk about, my darling."_

_"Why not?" Eggsy asked, a frown adorning his features. Harry had never been one to keep secrets from him._

_"It's confidential information, that agents are not supposed to have," Harry explained good-naturedly, giving his frowning husband a small smile._

_"Oh c'mon s'not like I'm gonna go blabbering. Yeh know how good I am at keepin' secrets." Eggsy leaned closer, giving his husband a puppy look._

_"It's not going to work," Harry whispered with a smile as he brought Eggsy closer for a kiss._

_Eggsy bit Harry's lower lip, nosing his way up to Harry's ear to whisper. "I'm just curious s'all. Harry please..."_

_Harry sighed, moving his neck to the side to give Eggsy better access. He really needed to learn how to say no to his husband. "It's just a protocol Kingsman has in place for extreme situations."_

_Eggsy froze, his hand twisted in Harry's shirt. "What do yeh mean extreme situations?"_

_Harry groaned; there was no going back now. The boy would not cease until he had all the facts. It wasn’t the first time he told Eggsy something he wasn’t supposed to know. It couldn’t hurt to tell him this… right? Besides, it wasn’t like they were going to use such protocol any time soon. He left his napkin on the table - dinner all but forgotten- and got up, offering his hand to Eggsy. "Come with me."_

_Eggsy went willingly, humming with giddy excitement as Harry led him out of the dining room. It was always hot when Harry broke the rules for him, especially when it involved sex at the office. That was, by far, his favorite way of bending the strict rules Kingsman had set in place – not that he wasn’t excited to find out what those papers were about. It had been eating away at him for the better part of his morning._

_Harry opened the door to his study, motioning with his hand for Eggsy to sit. The younger man ignored Harry, choosing instead to sit on the man's lap. He draped his arm around Harry’s neck, looking at the man with eager eyes._

_Harry shook his head, a fond smile playing on his lips. He pressed Eggsy against him as he leaned forward to pick up an important looking document from his desk._

_"Ghost Protocol was created during the Cold War. There were many threats against our organization, and there were many whispers about agents turning rogue. William - the Merlin at the time - came up with a plan of action; infiltrate the soviet spy network and find a way to stop them."_

_Eggsy remained quiet on Harry's lap, clearly following Harry's story word for word. Harry looked back down at the paper, his gaze turning melancholic. "The problem was that it would take too long to follow standard Kingsman procedure, so he and Arthur devised a plan."_

_"Ghost protocol," Eggsy whispered, eliciting a nod from Harry. "I still don't get what it is though," Eggsy admitted, taking the paper from Harry's hand._

_"It's a bit hard to explain," Harry said reticently. "What it meant was that the agent they selected would stop serving as one."_

_Eggsy snapped his head up to look at Harry. "What? That makes no fuckin' sense. What do yeh mean stop serving as one?"_

_Harry shuffled on his seat, uncomfortable. "The agent would quit their position, only to secretly sign a new contract that would bind them to the Excalibur position."_

_Eggsy frowned, licking his lips. "Thought yeh said they had to stop bein' agents."_

_"That's because the Excalibur position is not that of an agent.” Harry leaned back, assessing Eggsy’s reaction. “Excalibur was one of the King’s swords. It is probably the most well-known, but by no means is it the only one. In some legends it gave the King the right to rule, in others, it is simply a grand sword that was given to the king by the Lady of the Lake. In any case, a sword is meant to protect and attack, but it is replaceable.”_

_“So… what, they become the king’s sword?” Eggsy said, more confused than before._

_“They become a tool – an asset, if you will – that is not associated with Kingsman. Excalibur reports directly to Merlin – saving time as they don’t have to be there for briefings or for post-case reports. Excalibur’s only point of contact with Kingsman is Merlin or, in extreme cases, Arthur. They are not allowed to keep in contact with any other agent. This was set up this way because, during the Cold War, agents couldn’t afford to be associated with Kingsman, or even be suspected of such a thing.”_

_Eggsy swallowed hard, giving Harry the paper back. He could see there was something that Harry wasn’t telling him – something that was hurting the man. “What happened to him, then?”_

_Harry frowned, trying to clear his mind. “Who?”_

_“The agent that became Excalibur, what happened to him?”_

_Harry smiled sadly at his husband. “The first Excalibur wasn’t a man, darling, it was a woman.”_

_Eggsy’s brows shot up in surprise. “I didn’t know women were allowed to become agents back then.”_

_Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “There have been only four, but she was considered one of the best of her generation.” Harry smiled proudly. “She was assigned this mission because no one would ever suspect a woman, especially not her. She was very charming, and she was very good at making people trust her.”_

_There was something in Harry’s voice, something warm and loving that made Eggsy’s stomach churn. Had Harry known this woman? How well had he known her? Had they ever been-_

_“The goal was for her to enthrall one of the heads of the KGB, and find out their plans regarding Kingsman. She then was supposed to stop them.”_

_Eggsy’s mouth was dry by this point. “Did she manage to do it?”_

_Harry’s countenance turned morose. “She did, but she was captured after she managed to destroy all of the information they had on Kingsman and MI6.”_

_Eggsy gasped softly, his face crumbling at Harry’s broken expression. “Did they-”_

_“She was tortured for information, but she never breathed a word. She pretended to be American, and didn’t say anything else.” Harry’s eyes turned distant as he whispered. “William had to watch it all… I think it broke the man.”_

_Eggsy paled. “Why didn’t he tried to extract her? They could have saved her-”_

_“She was no longer a Kingsman agent, Eggsy. Part of the protocol when it comes to Ghost Protocol is to completely cut ties with the agent. They are on their own the minute they become Excalibur. He couldn’t help her, not without risking Kingsman, and not without breaking protocol.” Harry swallowed hard, his eyes tearing against his will._

_Eggsy cupped his husband’s face, releasing a shaky breath. “m’sorry, I didn’t mean to make yeh upset. I was just-”_

_“It is fine,” Harry breathed out, smiling tensely at Eggsy. “It was years ago, anyway.”_

_“Were you two… close?” Eggsy asked softly, feeling a desperate need to know whether this faceless woman had been able to capture Harry’s heart so completely that even now, so many years later, the man was still clearly mourning her loss._

_Harry couldn’t help but smile, squeezing Eggsy’s forearm comfortingly. “Not in the way you are thinking.” Harry opened the left side drawer, pulling out a small, velvet box. He handed it to Eggsy with a sad smile. “She was my mother.”_

_Eggsy’s eyes snapped up , almost dropping the small, harmless box in his surprise._

_Harry’s mother had been an agent?_

_Dear God, Harry had lost his mother to Kingsman, and the man had still become an agent. Well, not that Eggsy could judge him; he had done the same thing, after all. Eggsy finally looked down, opening the box with tentative fingers. He held his breath as he came face to face with a fine black medal taht looked much like the one Harry had given him, except his had different colors._

_“William gave that to me after she died.” Harry ran his hands up and down Eggsy’s back, but whether he was doing it to comfort Eggsy or himself, he wasn’t sure. “He came back to see me almost twelve years later, this time to recruit me.” Harry chuckled softly, taking the medal from Eggsy’s hands. “I actually only just found out how she died a few days ago.”_

_“Oh my god,” Eggsy breathed out as he threw his arms around his husband, running his hands through Harry’s hair. “I’m so sorry babe.”_

_“It’s alright, love," Harry said softly, trying his best to sound truthful. "It was a very, very, long time ago. It was just the shock of finding out how she died that had me a bit unsettled.” Harry winked at Eggsy, kissing his frown away._

_“Yeh know it’s okay to feel sad, right?” Eggsy said, placing his hand on Harry’s chest, right where his heart was._

_“I know,” the man assured him, running his hand down Eggsy’s thigh. “But I’m fine, I promise.”_

_“’ave they… yeh know.” Eggsy cleared his throat. “’ave they used Ghost protocol since then?”_

_Harry cleared his throat, nodding somberly. “They have used it a grand total of five times – with four of those being successful missions.”_

_Eggsy looked nervously at Harry. “Has anyone else died?”_

_Harry’s eyes grew sad again. “No agent that has ever accepted to become Excalibur has ever survived, my darling.”_

_“Bloody hell,” Eggsy breathed out, his brows shooting up in surprise. “Why do they use it, then?”_

_“Because sometimes there is not another option, or so they say.” Harry shrugged. “In any case, you don’t need to worry. I don’t plan on ever using it, if I can avoid it, and I know Merlin has flat out refused to even talk about it in the past, so I doubt he’ll use it either.”_

_Eggsy nodded and buried his head in Harry’s neck, the image of that black medal seared into his brain._

* * *

Eggsy sighed softly, looking at the document in his hands with unseeing eyes. He had been a kingsman for six years. For six years he had put his neck on the line to keep people save, to provide for his family. For six years he had been… blissfully happy with a man that had put the world at his feet and had refused to accept anything but the best for Eggsy.

He had made friends – being on life or death situations with others tended to form strong bonds, in his experience – that he had never expected to be blessed with. He had formed a little family at Kingsman, and it was mind numbingly painful to know he was leaving it all.

He was losing it all.

_You have to do this. You have to keep Harry safe._

Right, that was it, wasn’t it? As much as he loved his life, as much as he loved his friends, his home, and his job, Harry came first and foremost in his mind and in his heart. There was _nothing_ more important than keeping his lover safe and happy, and if becoming Excalibur meant keeping the mole in the dark, then so be it.

_He would rather eat a bullet than see any more harm come to Harry._

He stepped into the man’s office, his jaw tense as he walked up to his desk and deposited the paper he had been carrying with him on Harry’s desk.

 The man looked up at him, a confused frown quickly blossoming. “What the bloody hell is this?”

Eggsy swallowed hard, not daring to look at Harry in the eye. “ s’my resignation, Arthur.”

Harry’s mouth went bone dry. “I would have never pegged you for a quitter, Eggsy.”

Eggsy’s eyes flashed with anger as he looked down to gaze at Harry, who was still sitting. “That’s because this ain’t me quittin’, Arthur.”

“Oh?” The man’s brows shot up in surprise. “So this is not a resignation letter?” The sarcasm dripped from his voice in deafening waves, making Eggsy’s stomach clench uncomfortably.

Harry was downright _pissed,_ which made absolutely no fucking sense, because he didn’t even know Eggsy. Why was he so angry, when he couldn’t remember shit? Harry had never been this confusing to the younger man.

“There’s someone whom I love that really needs me right now, Arthur.” Eggsy gave the man a tense smile, hoping that Harry couldn’t see right through him, couldn’t see how much he wanted to hug him, to kiss him one last time. He needed to feel Harry’s touch at least once, because there really was no telling if Eggsy would be back. He desperately needed his Harry back. “This is me choosing my family over my job.”

 _This is me choosing you_.

Harry remained silent for a few seconds, finally getting up with a sigh. “Very well then, I wish you well, Eggsy.” He offered Eggsy his hand, a sad smile adorning his face.

Eggsy took a deep breath before surging forward, bringing Harry in for a hug. Properness be damned, if this was the last time he was going to see Harry in god knows how long the least he was going to get was a fucking hug.

Eggsy let his left hand roam its way into Harry’s hair, holding back a delighted purr as Harry’s cologne engulfed him. It felt like home. Eggsy could finally breath again, even if just for a second.

The older man stood still for a few seconds, clearly surprised by the gesture, before finally placing his hand on the small of Eggsy’s back and pressing him infinitely closer.

Harry felt his skin tingle, feeling his body come to live like it did only when he was on the field. He was hyperaware of every small place his body was touching Eggsy’s, of every ragged breath the younger man was letting out. Harry took a deep breath, Eggsy’s sweet scent dizzying him, making his blood feel like it was on fire.

Eggsy was intoxicating. His warm touch was mouthwatering. Harry needed _more_.

Eggsy finally pulled away, aware that Harry was probably only hugging back out of a misplaced sense of duty. He gave the man a bashful smile and nodded, before quickly fleeing the room. If he didn’t leave Harry now, he wouldn’t be able to. He would give in to his body’s pleas and he would kiss Harry, he would grab on and never let go.

God, how he wanted that, but it was impossible. Harry did not remember him, and thus no longer wanted him. He was a stranger, and nothing more.

Besides, he had a job to do now – he had to keep Harry safe.

Eggsy took out his phone, his ears ringing as he read Merlin’s text.

_Meet me at my house, tonight. You’ll need to sign your new contract. - M_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was mostly to give you background information, so that the rest of the fic makes sense. Still, I hope you enjoyed it!


	12. Uncle Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The problem with promises is that once you've made one, it's bound to be broken. It's like an unspoken cosmic rule.”  
> \- Bree Despain

_Eggsy squeezed Harry's hand, hoping to somehow reassure him as they waited for Eggsy's mother to open the door._

_Harry swallowed hard and closed his eyes, feeling faint. He had not seen Michelle Unwin in over seventeen years, and the last time he had seen the woman, he had told her her husband was dead._

_Although Eggsy had tried convincing him that she probably didn't remember his face anymore, Harry knew better. It was highly unlikely that Michelle had forgotten the face of the man Harry was sure she thought had ruined her life._

_He could already picture the look of pure hate he'd get the minute that door swung open._

_"Hey," Eggsy said, cradling Harry's cheek. "S'fine, babe-"_

_Suddenly the door yanked open and Eggsy flinched back with surprise. "Mum!"_

_"Oh, Eggsy, baby," the woman said with a smile, yanking her son closer to give him a crushing hug. "How yeh been sweetie?"_

_"M'good mum, promise." The boy pulled back, stepping into the house -  never letting go of Harry's hand - as his mother moved to the side._

_"Yeh're 'ere a bit early, luv, but that's a'right. Daisy's been dyin' to see ya." She locked the door behind them, and murmured "is that yer boyfriend? C'mon child, come closer lemme get a good look at yeh." Michelle suddenly froze as she finally let her eyes fall on Harry - who was now standing under the light._

_She knew that face._

_That face had haunted her dreams for years._

_She staggered backwards, a hand covering her mouth. "You," she whispered, her voice cracking._

_Harry swallowed hard, paling under her hard eyes. "Mrs. Unwin," he said softly, not daring to step closer._

_"What are yeh doin' in my home. Get out. Yeh need to leave, now."_

_Eggsy stepped in front of Harry, preventing the man from moving anywhere. "No, mum, wait, calm down. This is Harry, mum. This is the man I told yeh 'bout. He's my boyfriend."_

_Michelle gaped at her son, her eyes turning furious. "Him? Yeh're datin' that bastard? Eggsy he was the one that took yer father away from us. How can yeh be datin' him?" She finally stepped forward, her hands clenched into tight fists. "I want you to leave. Yeh are not allowed to come near my son-"_

_Eggsy looked like he was ready to punch a wall. "Mum-"_

_"No, Eggsy." Michelle's voice held a finality to it that made Eggsy's knees feel weak. "I will not allow this murderer to-"_

_"Yeh don't get to choose whether or not I go out with Harry!" Eggsy thundered, his temper finally snapping. he would not allow his mother to tarnish his happiness._

_"Eggsy, do not treat your mother like that," Harry said softly but firmly, taking ahold of his lover's wrist to ground him and calm him. He lifted his hand and placed it on Eggsy's chin, making him look up. "Stay here for a moment, will you? I want to talk to your mother." Harry turned to face Michelle, making sure to keep his expression neutral. "Mrs. Unwin, if you would please-"_

_"I don't 'ave anything to say to yeh," she snarled at the man, moving to unlock the door._

_"Then you just have to listen," Harry said, his tone a bit more forceful than before. "It won't take long, and I promise to leave after I'm done."_

_Eggsy turned to face Harry, outraged. "Harry, yeh are not goin' anywhere."_

_Harry squeezed Eggsy's forearm before stepping away, motioning with his hand to the kitchen._

_Michelle reluctantly walked in front of the man, leaning against one of the counters as she turned to face him. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and lifted her chin. The last thing she wanted to do was listen to the the bloody bastard, but if that got him to leave then she would rather get it over with quickly._

_Harry sighed, fidgeting with his cufflinks as he looked at the woman. "I know you hate me."_

_She looked like she was going to murder him. "You killed my-"_

_"Please let me finish," Harry said, raising both palms to chest level._

_The woman clenched her jaw, giving Harry one curt nod to continue talking._

_"I know you hate me, and I understand that you will never like me." Harry took a step forward, his eyes downcast. "If it weren't for me... your husband might still be alive," Harry whispered. "I made a careless mistake. I didn't realize that there was a...." Harry suddenly stopped speaking, clenching his hands._

_He wasn't here to play as the victim. That was the last thing he wanted to do._

_"I'm so sorry, for your loss. I truly am, madam. Believe me if I could go back and save him, I would." Harry's voice held such passion that Michelle was helpless to stop the tears that suddenly gathered at the corner of her eyes._

_"Yeh never told me how he died," she whispered, her tone accusing._

_Harry's eyes snapped up to meet hers, looking sadly at her. "He saved me and my men, from a grenade," he said, his voice barely a whisper._

_He knew he shouldn't be telling her this. It wasn't allowed, but this was Eggsy's mother and Lee's wife; if there was anyone that deserved the truth. It was her._

_She suddenly paled, her eyes shining with anger. "And now yeh've taken my Eggsy too. Wasn't one of my boys enough for yeh? Yeh 'afta take my son too?"_

_"I love your son," Harry barked out passionately, his mask finally cracking._

_"And yet yeh did the same to him as yeh did his father," she bit out. Harry winced, her words cutting him like knives; cleanly and quickly. "He works with yeh, don't he? Yeh are gonna get my boy killed, just like you did with his father."_

_Harry looked away, biting his tongue hard enough to bleed. "I would never-"_

_"Yeh don't know that," she screeched, giving him a hard look._

_"You're right. I don't know that." Harry finally turned to look at her again, his neutral mask firmly back in place. "But you can be damn sure I'm going to try my hardest to keep him safe." He took a step closer to her, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart. "I'm not asking you to approve of my relationship with your son. I could never ask that of you. I will never ask you to approve of me, but I will ask one thing; don't let this ruin your relationship with your son." Harry's eyes suddenly turned soft as he opened up to let her see his distress. He kept his voice low enough for only her to hear. "He loves you and your daughter more than anything, and he craves your approval. I am not saying you need to approve of us," Harry immediately said as she opened her mouth to speak. "But don't give him a hard time about something that is for him to decide." Harry took a step away, taking another deep breath. "You don't have to see me ever again if you don't wish to. I will not come around again - don't worry, I'll make sure Eggsy comes around often- and I won't be there when you visit. You can pretend I don't exist, just please keep close to your son."_

_The woman remained silent for a minute, before saying "and what if he realizes you ain't good for him and wants to break things up with yeh?"_

_Harry kept his expression neutral even as his heart throbbed painfully in his chest. "Then I will let him go."_

_The woman finally nodding tersely, rubbing her eyes, feeling emotionally drained._

_Harry gave her a polite nod, turning around before murmuring. "Goodbye, Mrs. Unwin."_

_Harry walked back to where Eggsy was waiting for him near the door. He kissed his lover's forehead, cradling Eggsy's face in his hands. "I'll see you in the morning."_

_Eggsy shook his head, his eyes suddenly turning fiery. "If yeh are leavin' then I'm comin' with ya."_

_"No, Eggsy. You promised your mother you'd be here for dinner. You haven't seen her in three weeks, and your sister wanted to see you," Harry reminded him. "You will stay and have fun, and you will forget this incident."_

_Eggsy shook his head again, stubborn as ever. "If she ain't willing to accept-"_

_"Darling, we need to give her time to process." Harry kissed Eggsy's brow. "You are not going to ruin your relationship with your mother because of me."_

_"Harry-"_

_"No, Eggsy, she has every right to hate me. We'll figure something out later, alright? Just stay here and forget about it, enjoy your dinner with your family, and I'll see you in the morning." Harry winked at him, doing his best to smile._

_Eggsy kissed him, biting Harry's lip as he pulled him closer. "No, I'll come by later."_

_Harry pulled away, his eyes darkening immediately. "I'll wait up for you then."_

_\-------------------_

_Harry set down his umbrella, fixing his suit as he sat down to wait for Daisy to come out of her dressing room._

_It had been her first recital today, and the girl was static. She had mentioned it to Harry about three months prior - in one of her visits to his and Eggsy's home - and she had begged him to go._

_He really had no idea why it was that the little one liked him so much. Yes, she saw him often, mostly because - when Michelle wasn't around - Eggsy brought his baby sister to see Harry anywhere he was; at the office, at home, at a restaurant._

_The girl was absolutely charming. She was five now, and in the two years Harry had known her, she had really come out of her shell. Living with Dean had made her meek, and had kept her from talking, but the man was long gone - Eggsy and Harry had made sure of that._

_She loved it when Harry read her long novels - mostly Jane Austen, because that's what Harry had at home at the time they started their little tradition, and he had never even thought about the fact that kids don't generally read those books._

_She loved cooking with Harry, or rather, making a mess of the kitchen as Harry made them lunch. And, above all, she loved going to the park to play with her friends with Harry there._

_It was rather strange, if Harry dared say. She didn't want him to play with her or her friends. She literally just wanted him to watch, and would get upset if he got busy doing something else._

_It had taken a few explanations from Eggsy to understand that it was a normal thing kids did. They liked to be praised for doing any silly thing, and so that's what Harry did._

_Of course Michelle did eventually find out that whenever Eggsy took Daisy with him, he actually took her with Harry, but by then it was too late to keep Daisy away from Harry, that is if she wanted to avoid breaking her daughter's heart._

_Harry suddenly tensed as he saw Michelle walking towards him. He knew she was going to be there - it was he daughter's recital after all - but he had not expected to run into her._

_Harry cleared his throat, getting up immediately as she came to stand in front of her._

_"Mrs. Unwin," Harry said almost meekly. There was something about Eggsy's mother that still unnerved him._

_Perhaps it was the fear that her dislike for him would truly make Eggsy reconsider what they had, never mind that they were married._

_"I didn't know yeh was 'ere," the woman said, her voice holding no real bite._

_"Ah, yes... Daisy asked me to come. I wanted to congratulate her before leaving, but I can wait to talk to her later. I should be leaving anyways." Harry stepped away, careful to keep his distance._

_"Don't be silly. Sit back down," she said, slightly exasperated._

_Harry did as he was told, stunned into silence as Michelle sat next to him._

_Dear god, did this mean she wanted to talk to him?_

_She cleared her throat, not looking up  at him. "I figured it was time yeh and I talked again," she said softly, looking as a group of small girls ran in front of them._

_"I hated yeh for the longest time," she  admitted, smiling sadly. "But, Eggsy explained what 'appened to Lee and..." She shook her head imperceptibly, turning to look at Harry. "It ain't yer fault. I get that now."_

_Harry stopped breathing, looking at Michelle uncomprehendingly._

_What was she saying? Of course it was his fault. He should have known they were going to try to-_

_She shook his arm, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Stop blamin' yerself. It really ain't yer fault." She took a deep breath, before smiling softly at him. "I don't know yeh, Mr. Hart, but I do know yeh make my boy 'appy." She took his hand in hers, squeezing it softly. "Everytime he comes to visit, he's got this big smile on his eyes." Her eyes shone with unshed tears. "I've never seen him that 'appy and... in love. So I guess what I'm tryin' to say is... it's a'right that yeh two are... well married."_

_Harry swallowed hard, his breathing slightly irregular. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out._

_She chuckled, patting his hand. "Now I need yeh to promise me sumthin'." Harry immediately sat up straighter, noticing the change in her tone._

_"Yeh gotta promise me that yeh'll always put Eggsy first and foremost in yer life, and yeh gotta promise me that yeh will try to keep 'im safe."_

_Harry nodded immediately, letting out a shaky breath. "Believe me, Mrs. Unwin, I will always do my best to keep him safe... and happy."_

_She nodded, wiping her cheeks. "A'right, I think I should go check on my Daisy. She should be ready by now."_

_"Harry!" Daisy screamed as she opened the door to the dressing room, a large white bag in her hand._

_She ran towards the man, dropping the bad to the floor as she jumped up, clearly expecting Harry to catch her. Harry moved to his feet in a flash, deftly grabbing Daisy by her waist and pulling her up to hug her._

_"You danced beautifully, princess," Harry all but cooed, kissing her on the cheek._

_"Top marks?" She said with a lopsided grin, swinging her arms around Harry's neck._

_"Always," Harry assured her, crouching to pick up her bag, never once letting her go. "In fact, I think this deserves a celebration, wouldn't you agree, Mrs. Unwin?"_

_Hardy turned them both to face Michelle, who was looking at them both with gooey eyes. "I think that's a great idea."_

_"What's a great idea?" Eggsy murmured as he came to stand next to Harry, placing his hand on the small of his husband's back._

_"We're all going out for lunch and then ice cream," Harry said without missing a beat, stifling a smile at Eggsy's surprised look._

_"Yeh really mean all?" he said, clearly not wanting to believe Harry so easily._

_"Yes, all of us," Michelle replied easily, patting Eggsy on the back. "Now c'mon, we should get going."_

_Harry kissed Eggsy, unable to contain his bubbly happiness. "I had a rather nice chat with your mother" he whispered, giving Eggsy a meaningful look._

_"Yeh are gonna tell me all 'bout it later," Eggsy whispered, kissing Harry again, oblivious to his sister's giggling._

* * *

“Eggsy?” Michelle murmured with shock, bringing him in for a hug. “Oh thank god, yeh are a’right. I’ve been so worried. It’s been almost two months since you last came to visit!” She closed the door behind him, grabbing Eggsy by the chin to examine his face. “Yeh’ve barely texted, and Daisy has been screaming day and night ‘cuz she hasn’t seen Harry-” 

Eggsy closed his eyes and swallowed hard, feeling a stab of guilt. “m’sorry mum.”

Michelle’s angry look suddenly morphed into keen worry as she finally got to look at Eggsy properly. “Jesus, boy, yeh look terrible. When did yeh last sleep? What happened?” She suddenly gasped, letting go of Eggsy. “Where is yer ring? Did yeh two-”

“Mum, calm down,” Eggsy pleaded, his ears ringing. “It’s not what yeh think. Can yeh just… stop and lemme explain?”

A flash of hurt crossed his mother’s features but she nodded, quickly making her way to the living room. “Do yeh want some tea, luv?”

“Nah, mum, m’fine.” Eggsy gave her a tense smile, sitting down in one fluid motion. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. “Harry was in an accident, mum.”

Michelle covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes immediately swelling with tears. “Oh my god-”

“No, he ain’t dead mom,” Eggsy was quick to reassure, grabbing her hand to keep her grounded. “He was just heavily injured.” Eggsy closed his eyes, not wanting to see his mother’s expression as he murmured  “He lost his memory, mum. He can’t remember that we… Well, he can’t remember me at all.” Eggsy gave his mother a sad smile, still not meeting her eyes.

Michelle bit her bottom lip. “’ave yeh told him the truth? Perhaps pictures will help -“

Eggsy shook his head, fisting his hands. “The doctor said it’d be too much for Harry. He said he’s got to get there on his own… if he ever remembers, that is.”

She let out a shaky breath as she moved to kneel in front of Eggsy, bringing him down for a hug. “Oh, babe, I’m so sorry.”

Eggsy let out a broken sob as soon as he felt his head touch his mother’s shoulder, the sudden comfort too much for his wrung out mind. He clutched at her back, tears running freely down his cheeks.

Now that the floodgates were open, it was going to be impossible to stop, especially when his mother was holding him.

His mother said nothing, petting her son’s head as he wept, both shaking with the force of his sobs. They stayed like that for hours, neither willing to let go, even as Eggsy’s sobs subsided and turned into the occasional hiccup.

“I ‘ave a mission, mum,” Eggsy whispered eventually. “I dunno when I’ll be back, so I need ya to be careful, a’right? Merlin’s gonna keep an eye on both yeh and Daisy but-”

“A mission?” His mother pulled away, her eyes filled with fear. “Yeh shouldn’t be going anywhere like this.”

“I ‘ave to mum-”

She shook her head more forcibly. “No, no yeh do not-”

“They’re trying to kill Harry, mum. I need to do this,” Eggsy snapped, grabbing his mother by the arms. “I ain’t gonna let my husband get killed. I’ll be fine, okay?”

Michelle looked at him, not able to say anything. He would not be fine, she knew that. They both did. That was exactly why he was here. She knew her son well enough to know what he was doing; he was warning her, and saying goodbye, in case he didn’t get another chance.

She wanted to cry out, to scream at her son to snap out of it, but she knew it was useless. She couldn’t ask him to be safe, not when Harry was in danger. Her boy loved that man too much to let him die.

He was just like Harry in that aspect.

For years, the man had put his neck on the line when a mission went wrong and Eggsy’s life was in danger. He had kept his promise to Michelle for the five years he had been married to Eggsy; he had kept her boy safe, even when that meant getting hurt himself. But he couldn’t keep his promise anymore. He probably didn’t even remember he had promised her anything in the first place.

“Do what yeh gotta do babe,” she whispered softly, her palms sweaty, felling like she was personally sending her boy to the slaughterhouse. “Just please try to be careful.”

Eggsy kissed her mother’s forehead, winking at her. “Don’t ya worry, mum. I’ll be just fine.”

_But how could she not worry, when they both knew that was a lie?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the hardest chapter for me to write for this fic up to date.  
> I hope you liked it!


	13. The new Excalibur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I guess it's going to have to hurt, I guess I'm going to have to cry, And let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side. I guess it's going to break me down, Like falling when you try to fly..."  
> \- Carry Underwood

  _Eggsy opened the door to Harry's office, smiling as he found Harry sitting on his black leather chair, looking as crisp as ever. Merlin stood next to Harry, holding a stack of papers close to his chest. The man was smiling indulgently at Eggsy, as if he knew some secret he wasn't letting on._

 _The young man walked closer to the table, unable to keep a shit_ _eating grin off his face._

_After V-Day, things had gotten crazy. The world had gone to shit as most governments had either been destroyed because of the chips Merlin and Eggsy had activated or they had suffered heavy losses as thousands of government employees had either been hurt or killed._

_Every country had scrambled to form governments, to get body counts, to get factories up and running again - in short, they had done their best to restore some semblance of confidence and control. Even now, things were still shaky everywhere. Most newly formed governments were up and running - with the few exceptions where some asshole tried to take advantage of the situation and the people ended up revolting - but the number of global threats and drug cartels threatening to take over was just staggering._

_Still, the worst had been the first six months, when the remaining Kingsman agents had practically had to scourge the earth while also_ _keeping checks on every country._

_They had found Harry alive within the first week, resting in a hospital in Kentucky. Valentine had thankfully been shit at shooting, and so Harry had escaped death with only a nasty scar on the left side of his forehead, a deathly concussion, and chronic migraines that came and went as they pleased._

_He had been discharged after three months, unofficially taking over the role of Arthur as Merlin would not allow him on the field anytime soon. Not that Harry was complaining; he wasn't sure he could stomach holding a gun in his hand again just yet. He had enough on his plate with the nightmares that plagued him almost every night._

_Eggsy helped a lot with those. After they had gotten together - less than a month after Harry had been found in that blasted American hospital - Eggsy had taken to caring for Harry whenever he wasn't on the field. He spent most of his free time with the man, happiest in his presence._

_Harry really didn't know what he would have done without Eggsy. Not only had the boy helped him physically through the worst of his - still ongoing - recovery, but he had been there to help Harry emotionally recover._

_Taking over as Arthur had also helped. It had given him something to do, to take his mind off things. He had thrown himself into the job with gusto, doing more in six months than chester had done in years._

_Still, it was hard for both Eggsy and Harry to do their jobs to the fullest when neither one had officially signed their kingsman contracts. Of course, Merlin had made sure they had access to everything, but it was always more of a hassle when it came to paperwork._

_And so, almost after eight months of serving as a kingsman, Eggsy was finally being knighted as Galahad. Harry had been crowned as Arthur two months prior - what with his role being so vital within kingsman - but they hadn't had the time to celebrate yet._

_Eggsy planned to remedy that soon, especially now that he was about to be given his title._

_He sat in front of Harry, looking expectantly at Merlin as the man handed him a variety of papers._

_"Where do I sign?" Eggsy said immediately as he looked ove_ r _the papers, not really reading them._

_Merlin noticed. "You know, you should actually read them before you sign."_

_Eggsy scoffed. "Oh c'mon, bruv, this shit is long. Besides, s'not like yeh are gonna make me sign sumthin' funny."_

_Merlin shrugged. "You never know._ _I might have included a clause there that you can only get missions in the Antarctica."_

_Eggsy rolled his eyes. "Like yeh have the numbers to afford yerself the luxury."_

_Merlin chuckled, finally relenting and showing the younger man exactly where to sign._

_"And you should write your next of kin, here." Merlin pointed at a small box at the top of the paper._

_"S'like training all over again," Eggsy noted as he wrote his mother's name in the small box._

_"Yes, except this time there is a much higher risk of you actually dying." Merlin gave him a dry smile, winking at Harry as the man gave him an unamused look._

_"Is that it?" Eggsy said, partly surprised. He had figured the whole getting knighted thing was going to be more exciting._

_Merlin shrugged. "Yes, basically." He offered Eggsy his hand. "I guess we can now officially welcome you to the round table, Galahad."_

_Eggsy shook the man's hand, unable to keep a grin off his face._ _Merlin finally moved away, picking up his clipboard in one swift motion._

_"Now, if you'll excuse me I have work to do. Your plane doesn't leave until seven, Eggsy, so you two can spend some time together until then." Merlin gave Harry a devious smile - a smile which made Harry look away. "I have turned the feed of this room off, in case you two decide to celebrate your newly acquired titles."_

_Eggsy blushed, not able to meet the magician's perfectly calm eyes as he turned around and left, the insinuation hot in the air._

_How the hell had he known what Eggsy was planning on doing? Was he that easy to read?_

_No, that probably wasn't it at all. It was just Merlin being Merlin. The man had just been born knowing everything there was to know about the human condition._

_Harry cleared his throat, coming to stand next to Eggsy. "Well I do believe congratulations are in order - disregarding Merlin's comment of course." Harry gave him a kind smile, squeezing Eggsy's shoulder as he murmured "well done my dear Galahad, your father would have been very proud."_

_Eggsy nodded, not able to speak through the knot forming in his throat. He moved closer to Harry, wrapping the man with his arms. Harry petted his hair, kissing his forehead softly as Eggsy nosed Harry's neck, feeling drunk on Harry's scent._

_The older man shivered slightly knowing that he should probably pull away now - he wasn't particularly interested in proving Merlin right - but found that his body refused to obey his commands._

_Eggsy clutched at his back, humming as he nosed his way up to Harry's ear. "Yeh know, now that I'm yer knight I'm supposed to serve yeh... please yeh."_

_Harry let out a shuddering breath, his blood rushing south at the sound of Eggsy's purring voice. "That is the idea, yes" Harry murmured innocently. If Eggsy wanted to twist this knighting thing around, Harry wasn't going to let him get there so easily._

_"And how exactly does the king want to be pleased?" Eggsy murmured, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses down Harry's neck. Eggsy let his hands wonder, deftly opening the fly of Harry's trousers_. _He quickly pulled them down to rest at Harry's thighs, palming the man's half hard cock._

_Harry bit his lower lip, stifling a moan as he grabbed a handful of Eggsy's arse and squeezed him closer. The younger man moaned, rolling his hips against Harry's thigh to get some friction._

_"I don't think you need me to tell you how," Harry teased before diving in for a scorching kiss. He bit Eggsy's tongue, licking the inside of his mouth like a professional._

_God, Eggsy loved it when Harry kissed him like this; like he was drowning and Eggsy had all the air left in the room, like he was a god to be worshiped with Harry's mouth and hands. It drove Eggsy wild._

_Suddenly, Eggsy pulled away, dropping to his knees in one fluid motion, his lips dry and parted, looking hungrily up at his partner. He yanked Harry's pants down, his mouth watering at the sight of his lover's fully erect member._

_He pressed his cheek against Harry's thigh, nuzzling there for a moment, eliciting a soft pleasured sigh from Harry._

_"yeh told me that the knights are supposed to carry out Arthur's orders," Eggsy started, his voice low. He licked his hand before grabbing Harry's throbbing cock, giving it a few teasing tugs that had Harry fisting his hand in Eggsy's hair. "So... Arthur... What would yeh 'ave me do?"_

_Harry remained silent for a few seconds, catching his breath as he drank in the sight of Eggsy on his knees in front of him. He had only kissed Eggsy so far, and yet the younger man already looked so debauched. His hair was all mussed where Harry had grabbed him, and he was beginning to sweat underneath that beautifully cut suit of his, which was doing nothing to hide the impressive erection Eggsy was sporting._

_Harry leaned in, his eyes filled with predatory lust, and whispered "touch yourself."_

_Eggsy's breath hitched as Harry bit his earlobe. This was certainly not the way he had been expecting things to go, but truth be told, he wasn't complaining._

_There was just something deliciously edgy about getting off in front of Harry, of letting him see Eggsy lose himself to the pleasure. It was entrancing to see Harry's riveted look, the way he licked his lips as Eggsy fucked himself with his hand._

_Eggsy quickly discarded his jacket and shirt, pinching his already perked nipples just to see Harry's eyes narrow even further. He moaned wantonly as he finally undid his zipper and kicked away his trousers, knowing how much Harry enjoyed it when Eggsy was particularly vocal. He palmed at his still clothed cock, letting his mouth fall open as he enjoyed the teasing friction._

_Harry growled, low in his throat, as Eggsy finally got rid of his underwear, throwing it carelessly to the side as he slicked up his palm with saliva to stroke himself. Harry surged forward, latching onto Eggsy's neck with practiced ease._

_The younger man cried out as Harry bit his collarbone, bucking up his hips as his hand gathered up speed._

_Harry pulled away, fisting his hand once again on Eggsy's hair. "Open your mouth, love," Harry purred, his voice gruff with desire._

_Eggsy moaned again, opening as wide as he could, feeling an intense rush of pleasure as his lips closed around the firm pressure of Harry's cock._

_It took him a second, but soon enough he was bobbing his head in tune with the movement of his hand, writhing and moaning without caring who could hear them._

_Harry groaned again, careful not to buck his hips as to not hurt Eggsy. He whispered sweet nothings as the younger man continued to suck him off, clearly hell bent on making Harry come before him._

_The older man let out a breathless laugh, running his hand through Eggsy's hair. "You beautiful man," he murmured, love thick in his voice._

_Eggsy preened at Harry's words, repaying the man with a particularly hard suck that had Harry seeing stars._ _Harry groaned, feeling as his balls drew up and he came. Eggsy groaned again, the feel of Harry's come going down his throat enough to push him over the edge._

_Both men remained like that for a moment, before Harry knelt next to Eggsy to kiss him softly, lovingly._

_"I love you," the younger man whispered, feeling bare under Harry's perceptive eyes._

_Harry kissed him again, holding him close as he murmured. "And I love you my darling, my Eggsy... My Galahad."_

* * *

"I'm right outside," Eggsy murmured softly, leaning against the light pole in front of Merlin's house.

"I'll be right outside," the man answered back as a light turned on on the inside.

Eggsy waited patiently for another five minutes for the magician to come out, his black Porsche gleaming under the moonlight. Eggsy quickly made his way to the passenger's seat, smiling as the car purred to life. He had always been particularly fond of Merlin's car, especially of all the gadgets the man had installed. Eggsy was pretty sure a tank wasn't as well armed as this car.

"Where are we goin'?" He asked as soon as Merlin started the engine. 

"A safehouse," Merlin muttered quietly as he turned the tracker off. "Where we can talk."

Eggsy sighed as he leaned back, keeping himself from tapping his foot against the carpeted car. Merlin remained quiet for the rest of the - rather long - ride, his eyes showing none of the inner turmoil Eggsy was sure Merlin was suffering from.

He parked under the shadow of a tree, where no one would be able to see the car unless they were standing close. He got out quickly, opening the truck to grab a ridiculously big black bag, which he carried to the door.

Eggsy followed the man, looking back to check that they weren't being followed. It was strange feeling so on edge when he wasn't even on the field yet. It was even more strange that he was now hiding from his own friends.

Merlin walked in first, turning the lights on before turning to beckon Eggsy in. He closed the door behind them, some of the tension he had been carrying finally seeping out of his body.

He turned to face Eggsy, who had plopped down on the first seat he found. He smiled softly, thankful for Eggsy's warm familiarity. He took out a four page document and handed it to Eggsy, who immediately signed at the bottom of the fourth page.

Merlin shook his head, the smile never leaving his lips. "Still not willing to read the contracts that you sign, I see."

Eggsy shrugged. "I a'ready know what it says. I'm on my own, and if I die it's on me."

Merlin sighed at Eggsy's factual tone. There was nothing he wanted to do more right now than shake him. He needed Eggsy to understand the gravity of the situation. "You need to write your next of kin."

Eggsy looked down at the paper and, after a few seconds hesitance, scratched out the small blank box.

Merlin frowned, his mouth set on a grim line. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"I don't 'ave a next of kin, Merlin," Eggsy said with a sigh. "If I die - I won't, but if I die - I doubt Harry will care. S'not like he remembers me, and we're not gonna tell him anyways. And I'd much rather me mum not be told, so-" Eggsy shrugged, handing the paper back to Merlin.

The magician remained silent, a look of quiet horror plastered on his face. "Eggsy, your mother will want to-"

"I said no, Merlin," Eggsy snapped, giving his friend a harsh look. "If I really do die, then I die. No one needs to know, but yeh." He gave him a small smile. "Sorry about that, bruv, I didn't mean to put that on yer head."

Merlin swallowed back the tears that were starting to form on his eyes, shaking off the feeling of impending doom. Eggsy didn't need to know how badly it would break Merlin if it actually came down to the younger man dying to protect Merlin's best friend.

"Right," the magician murmured, still slightly dazed. "Well then, let me show you your equipment." He pulled up the black bag, handing Eggsy a black bodysuit and a mask.

"What the fuck is this for?" Eggsy said, bewildered.

Merlin gave him a pointed look before saying "the bodysuit is to replace your Kingsman issued suit. It is bulletproof, although it is not nearly as good as our suits, so you'll have to be much more careful. If the weapon you are being shot with is at close range, or if it is a particularly good bullet, then this bodysuit won't be able to save you."

"Why can't I keep my suit?" Eggsy said, a sad look on his face.

"Because you are looking for a bloody mole that will recognize the suit," Merlin spat out, clearly out of patience.

Eggsy really couldn't blame him - today had been an emotional day for the man. "And the mask?"

Merlin shrugged. "Certain missions might require you to cover your face. Of course, I'll provide prosthetics, but many of the people you'll be interacting with are people you either know or have at least interacted with. They are agents, and so sometimes a mask will be safer than prosthetics." Merlin patted his arm. "I really don't think you'll need it too much, but it's always good to have the option."

Eggsy nodded, putting the two pieces on the left armrest of his seat as Merlin handed him a pair of guns and a collection of sharp knives.

"And these are?" Eggsy asked as he felt the weigh of the gun in his hand.

"Your new weapons. You are no longer allowed to use the umbrella, nor any of the kingsman issued weapons. Those knives are laced with poison, and are easy to hide. You can use them both in close combat or throw them at targets within a relatively close range. The guns are very similar to the ones you generally carry with you, so you shouldn't have much of a problem. There are standard issue grenades on the bag as well as a well equipped medical kit." Merlin seemed uneasy about the last part. "I would expect you not to have to tend to your own wounds, but in case you do, you have the equipment to do so. There are also three adrenaline shots with a high dosage, so I'd be careful with those. Don't use them unless you know you are about to die and you need the extra push."

Eggsy nodded squeezing Merlin's leg. "Thanks, bruv."

Merlin nodded again, looking more tired than Eggsy had ever seen him. "Excalibur agents have their own safe homes that are not tracked by the agency. I will have them stocked by tomorrow."

Eggsy nodded again, fidgeting with the soft material of the mask he was now holding again. "So what's my mission?"

"You will be infiltrating the CIA - your papers are on the bag - as there is a party at the end of the week where the American branch of Kingsman and the CIA get together. You will have that time to find the source of the two transmissions used after Harry's explosion. I can't access them from here, but you can get them from the source." The man took out a pair of black glasses and a flashdrive and handed them both to Eggsy. "Those are your new glasses, and that flashdrive is where you'll get your missions, and where you'll store anything you want me to see."

"Is this live?" Eggsy asked, a small curious smile on his face.

Merlin nodded, sighing as he closed the bag. "I should get back. Roxy is supposed to be back from her latest mission soon."

"What happens now that I quit?" Eggsy asked in a small voice, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Merlin's look darkened as he stood up. There was no trace of the smiling man that always received Eggsy after a successful mission. "We find a new Galahad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you got some smut as a way to apologize for all the angst (past and furure).  
> The mission will finally start next chapter (It's going to be one hell of a ride).
> 
> I hope you are liking it!


	14. Masquerade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Masquerade!  
> Paper faces on parade . . .  
> Masquerade!  
> Hide your face,  
> so the world will  
> never find you!
> 
> Masquerade!  
> Every face a different shade . . .  
> Masquerade!  
> Look around -  
> there's another  
> mask behind you!
> 
> Masquerade!  
> Seething shadows  
> breathing lies . . .  
> Masquerade!  
> You can fool  
> any friend who  
> ever knew you!  
> \- The Phantom of the Opera (Musical)

"Why is this the first time I see you around?" The American agent said looking down at Eggsy with a raised brow.

"I've been working undercover for a while, sir. I just came back." Eggsy said in his best American dialect and smiled amicably, giving the man a small shrug. "My file was confidential."

He cleared his throat. Never had he been so grateful at Merlin for forcing him to learn different dialects and accents during that second year as an agent as he was now.

The man looked at the file again and back at Eggsy, then back at the file and back at Eggsy, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he suddenly had a thirty something year old agent in front of him whom he had never seen, but who apparently had a higher clearance than himself.

He was going to have a few words with Johnson about this.

"Well, you can go to Joanna, she has the schedule the Kingsman people sent us for Friday." The man cleared his throat, feeling like he had swallowed led. "I will have to talk to Jonathan, though. I'm not sure we should send a new agent to the meeting."

"Oh, but I'm not a new agent," Eggsy flashed him a winning smile, trying to let the man's contempt slide off. "Besides, I won't be in the meeting. I'll just be there as an information resource and backup. You never know when you might need that."

The man grunted, neither denying not confirming Eggsy's statement. He waved his hand, clearly dismissing Eggsy without another word.

Eggsy took a deep breath and turned around, leaving the room quickly, feeling his blood boil.

What the fuck was the man's problem? Why was it such a problem that Eggsy had been "undercover" without the man's knowledge? He was not Eggsy's boss, and Merlin's covers were always flawless. There was nothing wrong with the file - the magician had made sure of that - so why did this guy had to be so bloody difficult?

Eggsy walked over to Joanna's office - the head operation's coordinator - and knocked on the door, hoping he actually had the right door. He had memorized the blueprints of the entire complex on his plane ride to the States, but it always took a bit of getting used to the place as blueprints and an actual building were two very different things.

"Come in," said a soft voice that could barely be heard through the door.

Eggsy did as he was told, immediately smiling at the petite woman sitting on the other side of the desk. She had long black hair, and soft dove eyes that made her look harmless. The woman looked at him with confusion for a second before reciprocating the smile.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are," the woman admitted.

"Oh, My name's Daniel." Eggsy walked closer to shake the woman's hand, the name still new to his tongue.

They had decided with Merlin it would be better to completely change his identity, as some of the American agents had worked with him briefly throughout the years, which was why he was currently wearing brown contact lenses and had dyed his hair a convincing shade of light blond.

He had to admit, he felt ridiculous with the new look, but there was nothing he could do - he needed to be less recognizable.

The woman shook his hand, waving with her hand for Eggsy to sit. "So, Daniel, are you new here?"

"No ma'am. I actually just came back from a mission." Eggsy sat down softly, leaning forward. "My file should be right at the top of your list."

The woman turned to check her computer, a look of comprehension reaching her eyes as she read the blond's file. "That's quite an impressive resume," she muttered softly, turning back to face Eggsy. "I see you have been requested to attend as backup for the meeting on Friday."

Eggsy nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Well, there's not much to know," she said as she leaned back. "You'll need to get yourself a nice mask but-"

"Sorry?" Eggsy spluttered

The woman raised a brow. "It's a masquerade. You are supposed to wear some sort of mask." She shrugged. "It's standard Kingsman protocol, or so I'm told."

The disdain in her voice was thick, making Eggsy wonder what exactly the Americans had gotten up to that the head of operations of the CIA could not stand them.

"They prefer to keep their identities a secret," she grunted, rubbing her eyes as she glared at the invitation sitting on her desk. "Bunch of drama queens if you ask me."

Eggsy chuckled at the irony, eliciting a wink from the woman. She opened a drawer and took out an invitation much like the one she had been glaring at not two minutes prior. "You'll need that to get in."

Eggsy nodded, quickly pocketing the item. He looked back at the woman who was once again looking for something in her drawer. She pulled out a small comm unit.

"You'll also need this little guy. Jane will most likely be overseeing the mission. I should warn you she's.... very spirited and doesn't like the Kingsman agents so she might talk more than necessary."

Eggsy chuckled again, nodding quickly as he got up. "I'll keep that in mind."

The woman nodded, turning once again to her computer. "Oh and Daniel, report back in with me once you are done with this meeting. I'll have your next mission ready."

Oh, she was going to be really angry once she realized that Eggsy wasn't coming back.

* * *

_Harry walked into the living room, two drinks in hand. His eyes twinkled in the low light as he rested the drinks on the table and walked over to where Eggsy was sprawled on the couch, his shirt partly open._

_Harry smiled at the younger man, his eyes hungrily drinking in the small patch of hair that was visible. He kissed the younger man softly, before turning around to turn on the speaker. He picked up the ipod that was sitting on the table and took a moment to pick a song._

_He smiled as the soft music started playing, turning to offer his hand to the younger man._

_Eggsy raised a brow, intrigued, as he accepted Harry's hand. "What are we doin'?"_

_"Merlin told me you needed a few more dance lessons," Harry said softly as he pulled Eggsy closer by the waist._

_Eggsy's brows raised up to his hairline "you wanna do this right now?"_

_Harry chuckled as he began moving, taking Eggsy with him for the ride. Eggsy looked down at his feet for a second. He had the left box down, but it was very different practicing on his own than having an actual person there that he could step on._

_He wasn't bad at dancing - he had rhythm - but ballroom dancing was not something he had had to practice since his gymnastics days and the shite he had learned about dancing when he was ten hadn't sticked. Ask him to do a 180 split leap, ask him to do a one hand cartwheel and he'd do it, but ballroom dancing...._

_Harry pressed him closer as the music sped up, leading Eggsy completely. "Stop thinking and just go with the music," Harry whispered in his ear, suddenly taking Eggsy's hand to turn him._

_The younger man held back a yelp as he suddenly felt Harry turn him and catch him, dipping him all in one movement. The man smiled at him deviously, stealing a kiss before straightening Eggsy up to continue dancing._

_Eggsy couldn't help but chuckle, feeling more relaxed than before. It would be alright. Harry wasn't going to let him make a fool of himself, and, even if he did manage to embarrass himself, this was Harry._

_Soon Harry was moving Eggsy's hand to rest at his waist as he placed his own on Eggsy's shoulder. "Lead," the man said simply, not bothering to stop to let Eggsy gather his wits._

_The younger man rose to the challenge beautifully, quickly counting the beats in his head as the music slowed down. He flashed Harry a smile as they danced, the music finally coming to an end._

_A new song started immediately after, however, and Harry moved Eggsy's hand away to adjust to the tango that was now playing. He placed his hand on Eggsy's upper back as Eggsy adjusted and placed his own on Harry's lower back, looking up into his partner's loving eyes._

_He straightened up, almost listening to Merlin's voice when he had barked at Eggsy - all those months ago - to correct his posture._

_Harry took the first step forward slowly with his left, moving Eggsy backwards with his body. Eggsy moved easily with Harry, guiding himself by the pressure Harry emanated when moving._

_Harry smiled at Eggsy as the younger man slowly eased into the dance, looking less and less at his feet and more and more at Harry's enticing eyes._

_The music came to an end sooner than Eggsy would have wanted, but Harry moved away before he could ask him for another dance._

_The man licked his lips as he grabbed Eggsy's hand. Eggsy frowned with worry as he saw a glint of fear in Harry's eyes._

_The man cleared his bone dry throat, and gave his partner a tentative smile. "Eggsy.... I know we haven't been together terribly long but in our line of work..." Harry chuckled, shaking himself mentally._

_What a way to start._

_He cleared his throat again and said "I just know that I want to spend the rest of my days with you - however many those may be, so..." Harry kneeled on the floor, pulled out a thin silver band - a small representation of the marriage ring that was to come - and whispered "would you do me the honor of being my husband?"_

_Eggsy's breath hitched as he covered his gaping mouth. "Yes," he sobbed out, a grin blooming out. He kissed Harry, softly, letting the older man put the ring on his finger._

_"We'll have to go together to choose the actual rings," Harry explained, still kneeling on the floor. "But I wanted to give you something today."_

_Eggsy said nothing, too overwhelmed with happiness to speak. He kissed Harry again, coming to kneel with his future husband._

* * *

Eggsy smoothed out the creases of his bodysuit, before putting on a tightly fit black suit. He sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. It felt strange not wearing his Kingsman suit. It felt... wrong, almost.

He fixed his cufflinks and picked up a black velvet and silk mask that Merlin had sent him for this particular mission. The mask was made in such a way that more than half his face was covered - something both Eggsy and Merlin were grateful for.

While Eggsy hadn't worked with more than two of the American agents during his six years as a Kingsman, they still knew his face. He had also worked with Roxy a number of times - and spent many evenings at her house watching movies and eating junk food or drinking themselves sick - and the young woman would be attending as the representative of the British branch.

In other words, the mask was the only thing that would at this point keep him from being compromised.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Merlin grunted in his ear, his voice stained with worry.

"Is this a secure line?" Eggsy asked under his breath as he flagged down a cab to take him to a small bar which had been created during the time when prohibition was still in place.

"Yes, you're clear. I'll start running interference to the signal they have on you once you get to the party. You won't have much time before I activate it, so you need to move fast." Merlin said in a hushed tone.

Eggsy remained silent, breathing out slowly as the cab came to a halt in front of an old looking establishment. He knocked on the door the way Jane - his current handler - had asked him to, and waited for someone to open the door.

A woman a bit younger than himself opened the door and gave him a polite smile. "Good evening sir, are you here for the party?"

"So they tell me," Eggsy replied smoothly, rocking on the heels of his feet.

The woman huffed out a breath, before letting Eggsy in without another word. She guided him through the many halls - which Eggsy was careful to memorize - until they finally reached a black, imposing door.

She unlocked the door with an old key, before letting Eggsy in. She came in right behind Eggsy, and played a quick tune on the piano. The wall to Eggsy's left suddenly clicked as it moved back, revealing a pitch black passage that looked like the perfect place to get murdered.

The young woman stood up and handed Eggsy a lighter, winking at the man before leaving the room. Eggsy turned to look back at the dark tunnel, shaking himself internally before finally getting his legs to move in that direction.

_He had never been a big fan of dark tunnels whose exits he couldn't actually see._

"It should take you about two minutes to reach the end of that tunnel," Merlin murmured. "There will be a tube waiting for you there."

Eggsy hummed as he stumbled his way through the tunnel. He froze for a second as he heard footsteps coming from behind him. His hands itched to grab his gun but he suppressed the urge, opting instead to walk faster.

He reached the end of the tunnel soon enough, the sudden blinding light putting him further on the edge. Eggsy's eyes roamed the platform and he quickly found the small shuttle that looked much like the one they kept in London.

He quickly made his way to the shuttle, a small yelp escaping him as the bloody thing started moving as soon as he stepped a foot inside. He was jerked onto his seat as the shuttle gathered speed.

"Bloody hell, these people 'ave no sense of safety," Eggsy grunted as he fixed his suit.

"You should put your mask on now, Eggsy" Merlin recommended, as he watched the feed from Eggsy's glasses.

Eggsy did as he was told, feeling slightly better as his face disappeared from view. Eggsy knew he wasn't safe - that was a ludicrous thought - but he certainly felt better knowing he wasn't immediately recognizable anymore.

The shuttle came to a screeching halt, forcing Eggsy to hang on to the seat for dear life as the shuttle jerked forwards and then back. The man cursed under his breath, getting up quickly. He didn't want to spend a second longer than necessary on that bloody thing.

"Good evening," said a tall, tan man, who regarded Eggsy with cold eyes. "If I could have your invitation please."

Eggsy passed him the expensive looking piece of paper as he observed his surroundings. The room had two exits - although where they led was anyone's guess.

_So the shuttle was his best bet for when he left._

"Thank you," the man murmured as he gave Eggsy back the invitation. He led Eggsy through a door that stood at the far end of the circular room, and left Eggsy to his own devices once they reached what Eggsy assumed was the reception hall.

Eggsy looked around the room filled with masks and alert eyes - all of them agents whose features were impossible to make out.

"Do you see that black door on the second floor near where the railing ends and it becomes a low marble wall?" Merlin murmured.

"What about it?" Eggsy murmured, trying to move his lips as little as possible.

"That's Albee's - their Arthur's - office. You will be able to access the information from there."

Eggsy let his eyes roam the room once again, searching for Roxy. The last thing he wanted was to run into his friend today. He gave up after a few minutes as the room was too full and people's faces were too well covered to actually make out anyone's face.

He allowed himself to be swept into the crowd, slowly making his way to the room as he slyly passed the small groups of people that had formed as they talked. He made his way up the stairs quickly, trying to stay close to the wall as to avoid being seen.

"Open the door," he whispered to Merlin, crouching low as he waited for the door to click open.

"I just opened it and I've started running interference." Merlin's voice was tense. "Move quickly, Eggsy. We don't have much time."

The young man pushed the door open, quickly closing it behind him. He stood up straight and looked around the room. The room was quite lit as there were two long panels of windows that allowed the moonlight to spill in. He ran towards the computer which was thankfully left on and sat down on the nearest chair.

"Insert the flash drive. It will override the system and the security measures."

Eggsy did as he was told and asked "will they be able to track this?"

"No, anything you do on that computer while the flash drive is inserted will not be traceable nor will it be visible."

Eggsy nodded, not bothering to actually answer as he began going through the transmission files.

"Hurry up, Eggsy. You have five minutes before they notice the interference," Merlin urged, biting his lip as he clenched and unclenched his hands.

Eggsy cursed under his breath. "They made sure to delete their tracks, Merlin. The file doesn't exist."

Merlin hit his desk, cursing as the tension running through his body finally began to crack.

"Wait," Eggsy murmured suddenly, leaning in as he read the files. "There's a ridiculous amount of transmissions with an unknown source in New York. Why the bloody hell are they communicating with someone there through non Kingsman methods?"

"Save all of that information on the flash drive. I will take a look at all of it tonight." Merlin sighed, clamping down on the hope that threatened to form in his mind.

Eggsy did as he was told, quickly taking out the flash drive once the information was copied. He stood up and suddenly froze as the door was thrown open to reveal Roxy sans mask.

The woman froze at the sight of the intruder, taking a second too long to process what was happening.

Eggsy looked at the nearest window and yanked it open. They were on the second floor so there was no way the jump would kill him - or so he hoped. He jumped out of the window without looking back, hearing as a gun went off and a bullet hit the wall right next to the open window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. I have been incredibly busy and I've been having some personal troubles recently, so yeah.


	15. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But if these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in  
> -Junot Diaz

Roxy whipped around to face Albee, who had been standing right behind her, delayed by an American agent who would not stop talking.

The man stood frozen for a second as he saw the younger woman's gun go off and a shadow disappear out the window. He snapped out of his surprised stupor soon enough,  pushing past Roxy to check the computer the masked man had just been standing next to. 

"Miller," barked out Albee, his eyes two black, dangerous slits. "Find the intruder, _now_."

The man snapped his head up to look at the four kingsman agents  and the four government agents that were now standing inside the room, clearly waiting for further instructions.

"O'Neil and Williams: scourge the area. Report to one of Miller's handlers." He stood up straight, turning to face Roxy. "Have you been to Washington before?"

"Yes, twice," Roxy answered quickly, unzipping the lower half of her dress to reveal a pair of tight fitting leggings as well as a collection of guns strapped to the leggings.

The man frowned. "You seem far too prepared.... Were you expecting something to happen?" The accusatory tone in the man's voice was unmistakable.

Roxy gaped at the man, clearly offended. "I like to be prepared, especially when I know I'll be surrounded by other agents. That does not mean I am a _traitor"_ she spat, her eyes furious.

The man raised his hands as a sign of appease, even though his eyes looked anything but repentant. "If you didn't know about it then you'll have no problem pursuing the intruder and shooting them on sight."

Roxy frowned, refusing to rise to the bait. "What's the purpose of killing him on sight? Wouldn't it be better if we captured him?"

The man smiled, a sharp predatory smile, before nodding. "Very well then, _Lancelot_ , bring him in." 

Roxy clenched her fists as she exited the room, tapping her comm unit. "Sam, are you there?"

"Yup," said the older woman on her ear, bringing her keyboard closer. "Just ignore Albee. That man has been a paranoic prick since before I met him. Let's just concentrate on finding the other fucker."

Roxy couldn't help but chuckle as she made her way to one of the vaults where they kept the cars. She generally preferred having Merlin as her handler, but whenever he was busy, her top choice was always Sam. "Where am I going Sam?"

"There are just three routes out of the complex you are in. Albee sent two of his agents, right? So you'll search the third path."

Roxy nodded as the car purred to life, a sense of _wrongness_ overcoming her. The intruder had looked _so_ familiar....

Roxy shook her head, clearing her thoughts. It wouldn't do to dwell on that right now. It was impossible for it to be someone she knew. The room had been very dark and the man had escaped as soon as he had spotted Roxy standing on the doorway. She was probably just shaken from Albee's reaction.

With a newfound sense of urgency, she hit the gas pedal and felt as the car surged forward, an angry buzzing sound ringing in her ears.

\----------------

Eggsy grunted as he stood up, his leg - which had taken the burnt of the fall - making him want to scream in pain. He stood up straighter and surveyed his surroundings as he shook his leg, thanking the heavens as he saw a motorcycle standing near a doorway.

"Merlin how do I deactivate the tracking device?" Eggsy said as he ran towards the black motorcycle.

"You need to cut the main signal. Do you know where it is?" The man asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Yeah, just gimme a minute." Eggsy took apart the screen, taking out one of his knives to cut a small cable that would have been impossible to find had he not known where to look.

He climbed onto the motorcycle with practiced ease, the motor coming to life as soon as he was settled. He took off quickly, gathering speed as if the devil was hot on his heels. He navigated out of the complex in six minutes flat, pressing on the gas as he heard the unmistakeable noises of car wheels approaching him.

He gave a sharp turn to the right as soon as he was out of the Kingsman complex, taking a rather creepy backstreet that he hoped would lead him to some main street.

He zigzagged his way through the back streets of the city, feelings more than a bit lost. He had never been to Washington before, and, in the dark, all the streets looked similar. 

"Merlin, get me out of Washington," Eggsy said loudly, hoping that the man could hear him past the roar of the motorcycle.

"You need to get rid of that bloody motorcycle," Merlin said immediately, checking his map for all possible routes. "You're approaching the interstate highway. Just keep going until they lose your scent, and then get a bloody car."

Eggsy did as he was told, passing a myriad of cars as he flew through the highway. He looked back after about ten minutes, letting out a breath as no kingsman car was behind him.

"O'Neil is still close Excalibur," Merlin warned, checking the signal from the agent's car and the feed from Eggsy's glasses. "Get off the highways as soon as you can and-"

"Get a car?" Eggsy said in a teasing tone, trying to lighten the tense air. He sped up as he took the first exit he saw, not caring where he was. He kept going for a bit, looking for an inconspicuous car that he could take. He found one near an alleyway, where he left the motorcycle.

The owner of the car had just been getting out - much to Eggsy's good luck - and so Eggsy had to do nothing more than knock the man out by hitting a nerve on the temple. He took the keys, feeling a small trace of guilt as he took off.

He had never liked hurting civilians, but it wasn't like he had a bloody choice. He needed to leave Washington without alerting the Kingsman agents. 

"Merlin?" Eggsy said, knowing that the man did not need further explanation to know what Eggsy was asking.

"O'Neil kept going on the highway, and Lancelot and Williams took two different paths. You're clear for now, but don't let your guard down." Merlin urged. "If you are captured by any kingsman agent, I can't protect you. They will take you in for questioning, Excalibur, and-"

"I know how it goes, Merlin," Eggsy said, voice strained. "I get it: don't get captured by kingsman because, if I do, I won’t come back."

Merlin sighed, checking the feed again. "Just hurry up and get the hell out of Washington."

\-------------------

Eggsy closed the door behind him, dropping to the couch as he let the darkness swallow him.

He had virtually not stopped driving for almost five hours. He had stopped twice and that was only because Merlin had urged him to switch cars in case the kingsman agents managed to find his trace again.

Eggsy groaned, rubbing his eyes as he put on his glasses again. "Merlin?"

"I'm here." Merlin's tired voice soothed Eggsy, making him feel slightly calmer if not safer.

"So what now?" Eggsy grumbled, trying to keep his eyes open as the darkness did wonders to numb his mind.

Merlin sighed. "Leave the flashdrive plugged into the computer. I will check the information later today and we'll go from there. Get some rest in the meantime."

Eggsy nodded before whispering "you too."

The man chuckled humorlessly as he took off his glasses. Rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I'm afraid there's no time for that."

Eggsy said nothing, knowing it was useless to argue with Merlin. If the man was worried or determined, then there was little Eggsy could say or do to stop him from working himself to the point of collapse.

"Hey, I'm still 'ere aren't I?" Eggsy said almost teasingly, trying - and failing - to lighten the mood.

"Are you trying to be funny? Because that was not funny," the magician grumbled pointedly, clearly overtired.

"Sorry," Eggsy murmured as he got up to plug in the flashdrive. "I shouldn't have said that.... I'll call you later."

He ended the call, dropping onto the bed again. It had been years since his relationship with Merlin had been this strained. Even in the hardest of missions, they had always managed to keep each other from worrying too much, which had helped them work brilliantly together. 

But Eggsy really couldn't blame his friend. He'd probably react rather badly too if he were the one forced to watch one of the people he held closest to his heart get hurt, knowing that he wasn't allowed to help.  

\-----------------

Harry sighed as he sat down, looking at Albee with a raised brow. "How could a single intruder escape a competent team of agents?"

Albee's eyes flashed with fury at Harry's words. "The intruder was obviously also a spy, Arthur. He was gone by the time my agents reached the ground."

Harry sighed again, intertwining his fingers on top of the table. "Do we know why he was there?"

The other man clenched his jaw, lowering his eyes as he murmured "No. We don't know if he actually got to do anything. Miller already checked my computer and there is nothing out of the ordinary. He believes we reached the room right before he got the chance to get what he wanted."

"That or he's very good at covering his tracks," Harry pointed out as he stood up, turning to face his liquor cabinet. "I want all the information that was stored on that computer to be sent both to myself and Merlin by the end of the day, if possible."

Albee's face scrunched up with annoyance as a look of betrayal crossed his eyes. "There is sensitive information-"

Harry turned around, his eyes cold and angry. "You forget Albee, that while you have full control of the American branch, you and your agents still answer to _me_ ," Harry barked out dangerously, knowing he was cutting the other man deep with his words. "If I ask for information, I expect to get it without an argument. Or is there something you're trying to hide from me?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry, for god's sake," Albee scoffed, feeling a strong urge to punch the man. "You will have the information by tonight."

Harry nodded, not willing to back down even if the other man felt attacked. "Thank you.Oh and Albee one more thing." Harry took two steps forward, his height helping him eclipse the other man. "If this intruder is seen again, I want him to be brought in for questioning."

Albee gave Harry a terse nod before finally taking off his glasses, the hologram disappearing right in front of Harry's eyes.

Harry groaned, sitting back down with a heavy heart. He _hated_ playing the Arthur card. He hated having to be an asshole to those that technically worked for him. But what choice did he have? Albee had always been particularly stubborn, and he had hated Harry since the first mission they had gone on together while they were still fresh out of training.

Harry knew it was necessary for him to command Albee's respect if he wanted anything to get done, but it didn't help soothe his mind.

Harry groaned, throwing his head back to rest his neck. It was like everything that could possibly go wrong had decided to go wrong.

He was still adjusting as Arthur even though he had apparently been Arthur for the past six years. He had hoped that going back to work would help him remember something, but his memories were as far from reach as before. On top of that now he had to deal with the mess in America. Not to mention, Eggsy was gone, leaving behind a very confused Harry Hart who apparently could not stop thinking about the younger man.

There was just something about Eggsy that didn’t make sense. It felt like there was something missing, some piece of information or background story. Eggsy’s mere presence confused Harry. He had never met anyone that could send as many mixed signals as Eggsy could. Ever since he had woken up, the younger man had been acting strange, switching his behavior from day to day.

It was all very perplexing, but Harry had to admit – he was charmed. Not that any of that mattered anymore. The boy was gone, which was exactly why Harry could not stop thinking about him.

Harry groaned again, covering his face with his hands as he stood up to pace around the room. He needed to get a hold of himself. Eggsy was a personal issue he needed to deal with later. He had enough problems to fix and concentrate on at the moment to let such an irrelevant variable distract him when said variable affected no one but him.

Harry put on his glasses again, tapping them on the side in order to call Merlin.

“What’s the matter, Harry?” Merlin murmured, his voice immediately warning Harry of his friend’s short fuse. He had no idea what could have possibly caused the man to be in a temper.

“Albee will be sending us a full report of the computer. I need you to arrange a meeting as soon Lancelot is back. It’s time we announce Galahad’s... retirement, and we need to discuss what will be happening in the next few weeks.”

"I'll let you know once a meeting is concreted," Merlin murmured before ending the call, looking at his computer with worried eyes.

Calling a meeting would be hell.

Percival and Roxy would be furious at him for not telling them that Eggsy was gone. They would not rest until they saw the man again, not that they’d have that luxury of course, not when Eggsy was currently in New York, awaiting further instructions.

Merlin looked at the clock on the wall; it had been five hours since he had last called Eggsy. The younger man would probably still be asleep, and it wasn’t like he could get started on his mission right away. After all, Merlin had just finally managed to crack the encryptions to find who exactly the – still anonymous – Kingsman agent had been contacting in New York.

_Oh what the hell, I won’t have time later._

Merlin clicked a black button on the side of his screen, rather surprised when Eggsy actually picked up.

“What’s the matter Merlin?” Eggsy said, almost frenzied. He had clearly not been sleeping.

“Excalibur, I’ve finished checking the files,” Merlin started, his voice no higher than a whisper. “They’ve been in close contact with a drug ring which you will have to infiltrate. You can use your CIA cover, as apparently they are involved in this shit too.”

Eggsy frowned, retreating from the window to sit back down on the bed. “I just blew my cover, Merlin.”

“No, you didn’t” the magician corrected. “The only two people that knew you’d be at the Kingsman mansion have been administered amnesia shots, and I have changed your file. You’re safe.”

Eggsy sat frozen for a second before very slowly saying “yeh broke protocol Merlin.”

Merlin stopped typing on his computer at that, frowning at the chair in front of him as if Eggsy was there. “What?”

“Yeh sent Kingsman people in to help me,” the younger man growled. “Yeh ain’t supposed to do that. It’s against protocol.”

Merlin felt a sudden burst of anger surge through him. “Did you have a better plan? It was a loose end we couldn’t afford Eggsy, not now. Yes, I broke protocol for the good of the mission, and I would do it again if it means keeping you safe.”

“Merlin, yeh promised me,” Eggsy snared. “Yeh  _cannot_ break protocol again. This time it was ok to use it, but what happens when yeh just do it ‘cuz yeh don’t want me to risk my life? Yeh can’t fuck this up, Merlin. Harry’s life depends on us.”

Merlin sighed, trying his best to keep his temper. At times he really wondered if Eggsy’s plan was to die while on this mission. “You will find the rest of the information on the flash drive. If you have any questions make a note of them in the flash drive – do not call me. Arthur wants to have a meeting in which the new recruitment process will be mentioned and there will be questions floating around, so it is best if we keep communications to a minimum.”

“So basically just like the time I went on a covert operation for three months?” Eggsy asked, lighting up another cigarette.

“I really hope this doesn’t take you three months, Eggsy,” Merlin admitted. “I don’t know if we have that kind of time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I hope you liked it!  
> Just as a heads up, this fic should be around 30 chapters in total. (I'm really hoping I won't take longer than that.) So basically, this is the halfway point. I hope you enjoy the rest of the ride


	16. New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.  
> \- Kurt Vonnegut
> 
>  
> 
> P.S this chapter contains mentions of drug usage and drug overdose

“Is there a reason behind this meeting, Arthur?” Gawain murmured as he walked into the conference room, looking worse for wear.

“And what the hell happened to you?” Bors asked from his seat, raising a brow at the disheveled man. It was very rare for Gawain to come into a meeting this sloppy.

“My cover was blown,” the man admitted begrudgingly as he took a seat, wincing due to the strain.

“You should go to medical,” Roxy  noted from her end of the table, her brow creasing with concern. Gawain, much like James once, had always preferred the more reckless side of things. 

“I’ll go once this is over,” the man promised, keeping as still as possible to not aggravate the wound any further. He was pretty sure one of his ribs was broken, but at least he wasn’t bleeding.

Harry watched the exchange silently, taking stock of his wounded agent before proceeding. He’d be damned if he let William – Gawain – die on his watch. They’d been friends for far too many years to lose him to an aggravated injury because the man was reckless enough to not get it checked out before going to the meeting. “I’ve asked you to gather today because,” Harry cleared his throat, his expression turning grim. “We need to once again fill Galahad’s position.”

Percival, who had been whispering something to Kay suddenly whipped his head around, jerking himself to a standing position. “No,” he said brokenly, his hands trembling as he took a step backwards, his eyes unfocused.

Roxy wasn't doing much better; she gasped at Harry’s words, covering her mouth with trembling fingers as tears swelled up in her eyes. She shook her head from side to side, whispering some excuse as she exited the room, not looking behind.

Merlin immediately walked closer to Harry, his eyes trailing behind his lover as the door snapped shut behind her. “Roxy!” He called, his eyes anxious. “Goddammit,” he murmured under his breath as he followed the woman out of the room.

Harry froze, clearly surprised by the rather sharp turn of events. He took a moment to consider his words, and realization suddenly lit his features. “Oh, god no, he’s not dead. He just resigned,” Harry said quickly, trying to calm down a very distressed Percival.

“He _what_?” The man thundered, his sad eyes suddenly turning furious. “How can you even say that? He would never quit. He’d rather die than leave yo-“ he suddenly stopped himself, clenching his jaw.

Merlin had been very clear when he had explained that the doctors didn’t want them telling Harry anything too shocking – which included anything and everything that involved Eggsy. While Percival still thought that was some major bullshit, he wasn't about to test his theories. He wanted Harry to recover, after all. 

“I am afraid I am not free to discuss his reasoning,” Harry said with a sigh, still processing his friend’s outburst. He had had no idea Eggsy was that close to the other knights.

Roxy came back in, Merlin hot on her heels. She looked much calmer, a guarded look on her face. She took her seat without a word, looking neither at Merlin nor at Harry as she waited for the man to continue talking. Harry turned to look at his friend, hoping to get a better understanding of what had happened, but Merlin wouldn’t meet his eyes either.

Harry turned to face the room again, feeling even more confused than before. “I expect you to have selected your new prospects by the end of the week, at which point training will start. I’d much rather have a better idea of who our next Galahad will be by the time I appoint my successor in two month’s time.”

Merlin’s head suddenly snapped up, his eyes shining the way they always did when he made an important breakthrough. He quickly put back a blank expression on his face, praying that no one had noticed his sudden outburst.

“I thought we weren’t continuing with that tradition,” Gawain said, still not daring to move much.

“I’ve been informed I hadn’t been planning on following the scheduled ceremony, regardless of what the rules say,” Harry admitted with a small, mischievous smile, glancing back at Merlin, “but after… recent events, I realized it was better to have someone ready to take my place as a precaution measure,” Harry said turning back to look at Gawain.

“Now, I also want all of you ready to leave for America at a moment’s notice. They have yet to find the intruder – yes there was an intruder – and I am considering sending backup. I have yet to decide what steps we’ll be taking, but I want you all to be ready regardless,” Harry said as he fixed his glasses, looking at his knights one by one. He had to admit, it did bother him a bit that neither Roxy nor Percival would meet his eyes.

“Is that all, sir?” Gawain, said, his eyes pleading. It was clear the man was in pain.

“Yes, Gawain, I believe that is all. You are all dismissed.” Harry waited them to file out of the room to turn to look at Merlin. “What the hell was the matter with Percival and Roxy?”

“They’re just shocked,” Merlin said tensely as he began retreating. Before, spending time with Harry came as easy as breathing, but now – with all the lies and secrets – it was rather hard to be in the same room with him. He hated having to be this cautious with his words, with his very behavior. “I should actually go check on them. I’ll see you later, Harry.”

“Are you sure you’re alright Merlin?” Harry said, not for the first time that day.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just trying to figure out how to deal with Eggsy not being here.” Merlin gave the man a final nod and left the room, immediately taking out his pad to check on Eggsy’s progress.

The boy had just infiltrated  the drug ring based in New York a day ago, and Merlin hadn’t heard from him since. It wasn’t the first time Eggsy cut all communications while on a mission. He had gone on deep covert operations that required him to communicate rarely and sporadically, but those times he had been properly equipped, and he had had the whole of Kingsman at his disposition had the situation turned sour.

The playing field had changed since then, and Merlin was not pleased with the changes. It was dangerous for Eggsy to be out there, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty at having been the one to send him there. 

\----------------------------------------------

Percial walked into Merlin's office, slamming the door behind him with unnecessary force. His pupils were dilated, and he seemed to be angrier than he had been in years.

"Alright, Merlin, what the fuck is going on here," the man growled, sitting down without asking for permission. "Where the bloody hell is Eggsy?"

Merlin sighed, bracing himself for the angry rant that was sure to come. "I don't know," he said tersely, looking at Percival right in the eye.

"Bullshit," the man said flatly, not looking away. "You would have never let him go without first finding out where he was going."

Merlin clenched his jaw. There was only so far he could take his lie, and Percival was right. He cared too much about the younger man to just let him fuck right off - they all knew that.

"He didn't want to be tracked and I respected his wish." Merlin stood up, giving his back to Percival. "He needed some time to think and recover. Harry's... injury hit him hard," Merlin admitted, not moving from the window. "He needs time to heal."

"It doesn't make any sense," Percival murmured, not willing to drop the matter. "Eggsy wouldn't leave Harry, Merlin. He just wouldn't- you know that."

"I'll try to find him," the magician said in a clipped tone, turning back around as the door opened to reveal a tired looking Roxy.

"Do _you_ know where Eggsy is?" Percival asked, his eyes holding a tinge of desperation.

She shook her head sadly, sitting next to the man. "I didn't even know he was gone, and Merlin" - Her eyes suddenly turned furious as she looked up at her lover - "didn't tell me."

The man gave her a remorseful look, looking away quickly. "He asked me not to."

Roxy sighed, standing up to stand next to Merlin. She touched his neck, rubbing it softly as she rested her head on his shoulder. "We need to find Eggsy before he does something stupid."

_We might be too late for that._

* * *

_Eggsy threw his head back, feeling like his body was floating. He turned to look to the side, the room spinning wildly as random thoughts whirled in his head._

_He tried to speak only to find himself laughing uncontrollably. His fingers looked strange, which for some reason made the whole situation even more unbelievably funny._

_He rolled his head to the other side only to find Jamal curled up on the couch next to him._

_"Man, m'fingers look funny," Eggsy murmured, his words coming out slurred and  choppy. He looked at his palms for a few seconds, not really expecting an answer._

_"Hmm?" The other man grunted, sitting up with more than a bit of difficulty. He leaned heavily against Eggsy as he looked at the boy's hands, frowning subtly._

_He looked at Eggsy's hands for a solid five minutes, neither boy moving nor doing much of anything. He finally looked back up at his friend, his perpetual frown deeper than before. "I don't see nuthin'," he murmured, plopping back to rest against the beat couch._

_Eggsy began giggling again, curling up against Jamal as he closed his eyes, before he fell to the ground. The couch was too small to fit the two of them, not that Eggsy was in the headspace to recognize that._

_His head was still swimming, and he was pretty sure he'd have a headache in the morning - mixing weed or what he hoped had been weed with an entire bottle of very cheap whiskey had been a recipe for disaster - but right now he didn't particularly care._

_The throbbing pain on the side of his face had finally been dimmed as his senses had settled. The shame of not being good enough to avoid being hit by Dean and the anger that the man had gotten to his mother before Eggsy had been able to intervene had been washed away by the liquor and the drugs._

_Right now, for a brief moment, he was untouchable. Nothing could hurt him, except perhaps the unmoving objects in the dingy room he and his mates were currently in._

_It had been a dumb choice to come here, that much he was aware of. They had all been having problems, and this place had seemed like the best option. They really shouldn't have come._

_Eggsy knew, however, that they would do it again._

_\----------------_

_Eggsy ran down the hallway, nurses and doctors becoming blue and white blurs as he ran through the hallways looking pale and exhausted._

_He skidded to a stop as he reached Jim's room. He stood outside for a few seconds, not sure if the nurse had given him the right number._

_Well there was only one way to find out._

_He pushed the door open, his heart dropping to the floor at the sight of one of his best mates laying on the hospital bed, his body pale and unmoving. The lights were off, with the exception of the fluorescent overhead light near the bed, which made his friend look even sicker._

_"He overdosed, Eggsy," Jamal had said in a distressed tone. "They found 'im at the hotel with a needle up his arm."_

_Eggsy sat down next to his friend, feeling numb. It had all started that night at the hotel when they had just tried weed. The plan had been to only do it once, and then that "one time" had turned into getting high every week._

_Eggsy had been the first to quit, when weed had not been enough for his friends and Jim had decided to shoot up coke. He had almost tried it a few times, yes, but he had never actually been able to do it. He had been too afraid. Afraid of becoming even more addicted to drugs than he already was. Afraid of overdosing. Afraid of losing himself._

_But he hadn't stopped his friends. He hadn't said a thing, and now here was Jim, on what appeared to be a coma after a heroin overdose._

_He had fucked up, and Eggsy hadn't stopped him. He hadn't fucking stopped him. He hadn't even tried._

_Eggsy covered his face with his hands, his shoulders heaving as a sob escaped him. He should have known better. He should have done something._

_He would never be able to forgive himself._

* * *

Eggsy walked down the hallway slowly, taking stock of every door and every man and woman that he crossed. He had been rather surprised to find so many people when he had arrived a few hours prior.

It had definitely been... daunting to know he was walking into the wolf's den with so little equipment when they were so clearly well equipped. He didn't want to say he was scared, but he was definitely starting to become a bit paranoid about the number of guns and pouches of cocaine and heroin he had seen in the past two hours he had been in the damned place.

"Mr. Young, I assume," said a sultry, manly voice from behind Eggsy that made the younger man whirl around fast enough to make his neck protest in pain. "We weren't expecting you until later."

Eggsy swallowed thickly, looking at the imposing man standing in front of him with guarded eyes. So this was the infamous "Jack". Personally, Eggsy didn't find it so original to copy the name of a killer invented by the British media in the eighteen hundreds, but then again, the man standing before him was very much real and he had earned his title - if the number of bodies to his name was anything to go by.

"I got here a bit earlier and figured I may as well show up." Eggsy shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't realize it would be a problem."

"It isn't," the man said smoothly, giving Eggsy a toothy smile that looked predatory in nature. "Although, I must admit, I was not informed as to the reason for your visit."

The man was clearly upset about that, which was probably why he had come to meet Eggsy in person.

"There's been a change in plans," Eggsy said with a polite smile. "I will be taking the package to Mister Johnson."

The man raised his brows, his countenance turning sour, clearly not willing to give Eggsy anything more than a bullet to his brain. "The chip contains very sensitive information. He was supposed to pick it up in person," the man growled.

Eggsy bowed his head in acknowledgement. "Unfortunately he has been held back in Washington by the Secretary of State. He truly wishes he could be here, but he does not know how long it will take before he can leave Washington, and he did not want to delay your process, so he sent me instead."

In truth, Eggsy hadn't really given the man a choice. Merlin - being the genius that he was - had been able to crack the feeds from the CIA, and had realized that Johnson had become the middle man between Kingsman and Jack and his drug cartel. It hadn't taken more than a few hours locked in the man's office in New York - with Eggsy letting him know _exactly_ what would happen to him if he didn't cooperate - for the man to give in.

After that, it had only been a matter of getting the man back on a plane to Washington while Eggsy went in his stead to pick up a chip which supposedly would give Merlin access to everything they needed.

"Very well then, follow me," the man said in a low, predatory tone, leading the way down the dark hallway. They walked for a few minutes in a tense silence that had Eggsy's hair standing on edge by the time they reached a black, imposing door.

The man opened the door to his office and let Eggsy in, squeezing Eggsy's shoulder just hard enough to hurt as he walked past the younger man. He walked towards his desk, taking out a small pouch filled to the brim with a white powder.

"You know, Daniel - can I call you Daniel ? - I think I want to get to know you a little better before giving over such sensitive information." The man dropped the cocaine on the table in front of Eggsy, giving him a crooked smile. "So, what do you say?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update. Work has been crazy.
> 
> In the movie they mention that Eggsy has done drugs before, and it was a(n) (angsty) theme I wanted to explore as part of this story. 
> 
> I hope you are liking it!
> 
> P.S you should have next chapter in about 3 days time


	17. We have two months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did it get late so soon?  
> It's night before it's noon. December is here before its June.  
> My goodness how the time has flown. How did it get so late so soon?  
> \- Dr. Seuss

Eggsy looked at the harmless-looking, clear plastic bag, swallowing hard as his stomach churned both with disgust and fear. Not even in his darkest days had he given in to such a request. 

He knew very well that if he decided to go down that road, there would be no turning back - Jim's death had taught him that. He had not touched drugs ever since Jim had died. He had promised himself he would never again get near that path. 

His friend had been bright and sweet when he had first met him. If there was anyone whom Eggsy would have said had potential to be someone in life, it had been that boy.

Jim had been too scarred by his abusive father though, and little by little the sweet boy Eggsy had known as a child had turned into a hard, reckless teenager. He had watched his friend disappear right in front of his very eyes. That potential had dimmed, and it had hurt Eggsy to see him fall deeper and deeper into his vices.

And yet he had done nothing. 

He hadn't been able to save his friend. He had turned away - having problems of his own that Eggsy needed to deal with - when Jim had needed him most. He had covered his eyes because he had been too much of a coward to face the fact that someone needed him when he didn't even know how to help himself. His friend had died and he had done nothing, but he had learned - there were roads that could destroy a person, and they were roads that, once you took them, you couldn't turn back.

This was one of them.

Eggsy shook his head, meeting the man's eyes. "While I appreciate the offer. My plane leaves in less than three hours, and I am not going to take any risks when I'm carrying sensitive information."

The man gave him a small, dry smile, appreciative of the tact the younger man had. "You could always stay here with us. You can take a plane tomorrow."

Eggsy shook his head again, giving the man a small, forced smile that he really hoped looked genuine. Could the guy not understand a no when he heard it? "My boss wants the chip as soon as possible, and I would hate to disappoint him."

The man considered Eggsy for a moment, stalking closer to look down at him. There was something about Eggsy that made him want to push further. He wanted to see him snap, but now was not the time. He had other priorities, sadly, and finding out where Johnson's loyalties laid was one of them.

"Then perhaps you'll come back to visit us?" He said sweetly, though his eyes were cold as stone. "I'm sure if Johnson trusts you this much he won't mind sending you back for the next delivery."

Eggsy swallowed hard, his skin crawling at the man's menacing look. It was obvious the man didn't trust him, and Eggsy had no doubt that - if given the chance - the man would slit his throat before he could even blink like he had with countless others.

"I'll make sure to tell him to send me," Eggsy said as monotonously as he could, not daring to take a step back - even when the man stepped close enough for Eggsy to smell his breath - in case the man decided to read something into it.

The man placed his hand underneath Eggsy's chin and tilted it up, keeping him there as he stared into his eyes. "I hope to hear back from Johnson as soon as you get there," he sneered, the threat clear as day.

"Of course," Eggsy murmured calmly, keeping his breathing even.

Finally, the man stepped back, handing Eggsy a small, black box that Eggsy assumed contained the chip. "Run along now, and remember, I expect to see you soon," the man murmured softly, turning to look at the door as a red haired woman opened it.

"Oh, I thought you'd be done by now," she said unapologetically, smiling at the man as she came to stand next to him. "And who might this be?"

"Daniel," the man said, his eyes never leaving the woman. "One of Johnson's men."

"Oh, a pleasure to meet you, Daniel," the woman said with a charming smile. "I'm Elena." She offered Eggsy her hand.

Eggsy took it, giving her a small, polite smile - the last thing he needed was Jack going berserker on him because of this woman - and murmured "the pleasure is mine. Now if you don't mind, I should get going."

The woman nodded, waiting for the blonde to leave to turn to look at her lover. "Well he seems sturdier than the ones Johnson has sent in the past."

"I don't like him," Jack grunted in response, turning to sit on the couch, clearly unamused.

The woman chuckled. "You rarely like anyone, love. That's not what matters. What matters is whether we can trust him or not."

\----------------------

Eggsy closed the door behind him, feeling particularly paranoid as he sank down on the couch. It was rare for Eggsy to be this affected by a target. He was good at keeping his cool, but Jack.... Jack had pressed his buttons. Never had he felt so.... bare in the eyes of an enemy.

He needed a drink or better yet, he needed Harry to take his mind off of things. Not that he would get the luxury again - a drink would have to do. 

Eggsy turned on the computer, taking out his glasses to call Merlin, wanting to distract himself. The man answered immediately.

"Eggsy?" The man's distress did nothing to calm Eggsy's nerves.

"I'm here, Merlin. I'm fine." Eggsy assured him, sinking even further back. He rubbed his temples, trying and failing to relax his tense muscles. "I just came back from meeting with Jack."

Merlin hummed noncommittally. "Did you get the chip?"

"Yes, but he wasn't convinced that I was there for Johnson, and we can't 'ave 'im know it was a ruse," Eggsy murmured tiredly, letting himself fall on his back.

Merlin cursed under his breath as something hit the ground on his side of the line. Probably a mug of coffee by the sound of it. "The file is encrypted, Eggsy."

Eggsy groaned. "Well can't yeh decrypt that shit?"

"No, I'll need the key code to do that," Merlin admitted, sounding truly sorry.

"So I'll have to go back anyways," Eggsy murmured, sounding resigned. "I'll go to Washington first then. Maybe Johnson has the key."

Merlin nodded and the hummed in agreement, remembering that Eggsy wasn't there to look at him. "I think I know why they've waited so long to make a move," Merlin whispered.

Eggsy immediately sat up, alert. "Why?"

"Harry's supposed to choose his successor in two months time," Merlin reminded him quietly. 

Eggsy gasped, covering his mouth before murmuring. "They want to become Arthur? But that would mostly keep them off the field. Why-"

"Arthur's position comes with many perks, Eggsy, and many powers," Merlin said gravely. 

Eggsy bit his lip. "But then-"

"There are four candidates that Harry will consider," Merlin murmured. "Bedivere, Percival, Gawain, and Bors."

"Percival would never-" Eggsy said, enraged, suddenly standing up.

"I know, Eggsy," Merlin murmured, his tone appeasing, "but that still leaves three other options."

Eggsy sighed, looking out the window. Betrayal stung like a bitch. "I'll call you when I get to Washington."

"Please be careful, Eggsy. I don't have comms on you half of the time," Merlin said, his tone broken. "You need to be careful on the field."

"I know, Merlin." Eggsy said, his tone soft and comforting. "I know."

* * *

_Eggsy left his suitcase on top of the bed, turning to look at Harry with loved filled eyes. He placed his hands on the man's shoulders, pressing not so subtly against him as Harry kissed his lips like he was trying to devour him. Eggsy felt his knees hit the back of the bed as Harry crowded him, digging his fingers deep into the younger man's hips, eliciting a wanton moan that had Harry smirking smugly._

_A rap at the door had them reluctantly separating as Harry moved to open the door. He smiled gently at the young teenage boy that was standing on the other side of the door, looking terribly awkward with a tray which contained a bottle of champagne and two glasses._

_"Um, I was asked to deliver this to a Mr. Hart?" He squeaked out, blushing as he averted his eyes from Harry's mouth._

_"That would be me," the man said, the amused smile never leaving his lips. He moved to the side to let the young boy in, signaling the table with his hand so that the lad would know where to put the tray._

_Eggsy gave the boy an unamused look as he came to stand next to Harry, snaking an arm around his lover's waist, clearly not liking the way the boy had been looking at his partner._

_Harry stifled a chuckle as he gave Eggsy a peck, not caring that the younger man was still there, watching them. Eggsy bit Harry's lower lip possessively as he squeezed the man's hip, knowing how much Harry enjoyed that._

_Harry cleared his throat as he stepped away, giving the boy an apologetic smile - even if he felt anything but._

_"Thank you very much for bringing us the champagne," Harry said softly - prim and proper as always - as he tipped the boy while directing him back to the door. "Have a good day," Harry said promptly, closing the door behind the younger man, who had not uttered a word since he had asked for "a Mr. Hart"._

_Eggsy shook his head as Harry hugged him from behind, burying his face in the younger man's neck. "I swear, Harry, not a day goes by without somebody hittin' on ya," Eggsy huffed out, sounding mildly annoyed._

_Harry felt a wave of giddy happiness rush through him at Eggsy's words. While he didn't necessarily like people hitting on him, he certainly enjoyed Eggsy's reaction. It was wonderful to see the younger man react so strongly. It felt strangely good to know that he was so vocally and visibly taken. It made him feel better about his own possessiveness towards the younger man._

_"Believe me, love, I'm not the one that constantly turns heads," Harry all but growled in his lover's ear, pressing Eggsy closer to him._

_"We should get goin'," Eggsy breathed out as he turned his face to kiss Harry, raising his hand to cup his lover's cheek. "If we don't leave now, we ain't gonna see anythin' during this trip, and I wanna see lots of things."_

_Harry chuckled as Eggsy kissed him in between words, finding it incredibly endearing that Eggsy was as desperate as him. "Alright then, we can start with the Louvre - don't look at me like that. It's a lovely museum." He kissed Eggsy's pout away. "and then we can go have lunch."_

_Eggsy gave Harry a delighted smile as he nodded, giving him one last peck before he trotted back to the bag to take out a rather expensive looking camera._

_"A'right, let's go babe." Eggsy gave his lover a cheeky smile that made the man's heart stutter._

_God, how he loved Eggsy._

 

Harry woke up with a start, the image of Eggsy's beautiful blue eyes still fresh in his mind as he turned - his eyes still closed - to check on a person that wasn't there. He immediately opened his eyes, feeling surprised at first when he did not see Eggsy lying there next to him.

The surprise soon morphed into confusion. Eggsy did no live with him - the young man was long gone - so why the hell would he ever think he would wake up to find Eggsy there next to him?

More importantly, why the bloody hell was he dreaming about Eggsy? The dream had felt so real; the touches, the feelings....

Dear god, was he losing his mind? Why had his heart ached when he had found his bed empty? Why was his heart fluttering at the mere thought of the younger man? He barely knew him. Well, no, that wasn't exactly true. He had known him for six years, but they had been working together, nothing more. 

He groaned, getting up to wash his face. It was one thing finding the younger man charming, and another very different to dream about him in what seemed to be a very intimate scenario. He had obviously become obsessed with him in the short time he had seen him - an obsession he needed to squash as soon as possible.

He left the bathroom and made his way to his study, turning on the computer. He took out the half filled decanter and poured himself a glass of scotch. He took a long gulp, feeling his throat burn pleasantly as the liquid made its way down his throat. He wasn't going to sleep any more for the night, so he might as well do something productive.

\---------------------

Harry got up with a small grunt; he shouldn't have stayed seated for so long.

He picked up the phone as he stretched, pleased to hear Eric - Percival - pick up immediately.

"Harry? Is something the matter?" Percival said, his voice rough with sleep.

"I need you and Lancelot to go to the headquarters in the US, today if possible," Harry said quickly, his tone calm. "Their records are off, and I want to know why."

"What do you mean off?" Percival murmured, sounding significantly less sleepy. 

"They've been in increasing contact with the CIA, and the drug cartels." Harry's tone was cold, showing his displeasure. "I want you to look into that, and also the break-in we had. They still have not found the intruder, and I am starting to believe they don't want to find him."

Percival shifted on his bed, immediately feeling uneasy. "Do you think they're-"

"I don't want to guess, my dear Percival; I want to _know,_ " Harry said, swiftly cutting off the man. Now was not the time for pleasantries or speculations. "You'll both report to their headquarters, and then I want you to infiltrate the cartel while Roxy monitors the headquarters. I will have someone send you a full debrief."

"Will Merlin be monitoring our mission?" Percival asked softly, getting up from the bed when he realized he wouldn't be getting any more sleep any time soon.

"No," Harry said with a sigh.

Percival froze. "Then who-"

"Sam will be your handler," Harry said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Harry sighed again as he hung up, not giving the man any explanations. It wasn't that he didn't trust Merlin with this - which was probably what Percival was thinking now - it was more that he was worried about his friend. The man had clearly not been sleeping. Whether it was because he had been taking on too many projects or something else, Harry did not know, but it was obvious that he was worn down. He couldn't endanger his agents, and he couldn't aggravate Merlin's health any further.

He just hoped his friend wouldn't be too angry at him for keeping him in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I felt really bad about taking a week to give you chapter 16, so here's 17 with only a day's wait ;)


	18. Honeypot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can dance  
> Go and carry on  
> Till the night is gone  
> And it's time to go
> 
> If he asks  
> If you're all alone  
> Can he take you home  
> You must tell him no
> 
> 'Cause don't forget who's taking you home  
> And in whose arms you're gonna be  
> So darlin'  
> Save the last dance for me  
> \- Michael Buble "Save The last Dance for Me"

"You really like making things more complicated than they ought to be,” Eggsy grunted out as he stood up, moving closer to Johnson. He opened his jacket and reached inside, whipping his weapon out in the blink of an eye. He pointed his black gun directly at Johnson’s head, Eggsy’s expression edging on bored. “The key code, Johnson, where can I find it?”

Eggsy clenched his jaw, knowing he couldn't take out his frustration on the man, no matter how unhelpful he was. They still needed him.

"Will you put the weapon away? You already have a bargaining chip," the man said with annoyance.

"Apparently it's not working so well today," Eggsy retorted sharply, not lowering his gun. "This is just a precaution."

Eggsy picked up the man's cellphone from the black table and threw it onto the man's lap with a flick of his wrist. "You should call him instead of arguing with me," Eggsy said tensely, his eyes hard.

The man sighed, knowing he couldn't argue with Eggsy, not when Eggsy had the upper ground. He picked up the phone and dialed a number before bringing it up to his ear. He waited a few seconds, before murmuring "Jack?"  

"So I guess you did send the boy after all," Jack murmured as he leaned back against his black leather chair, a small smile on his lips. "How are you, Hank?"

"A bit miffed at having an useless chip," Johnson said in a strained tone, his eyes never leaving Eggsy's sharp ones. "I thought we didn't want any more delays."

"We don't," Jack admitted, sounding bored. "But it's not my fault you didn't show up as planned."

"I - unlike you, Jack - have things to do. I cannot leave Washington on a whim," Johnson snapped, taking out his frustration on Jack. He left the phone on the table, putting on the speaker so that the younger man could not later accuse him of lying. 

Jack rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath before saying anything else. Johnson had the bad habit of underestimating both friends and enemies, and his contempt was starting to irk the other man.

_Two more months and I can get rid of this idiot._

"Well luckily for you, Elena will be going to Washington in my stead to meet with a few clients. She will be carrying the key code."

Johnson looked up at Eggsy, who would not stop staring at him, and murmured "Will she be bringing the code directly to me?"

"Of course not," Jack scoffed. "You can meet her for dinner, where she'll be giving you what you need."

Eggsy pointed at himself and mouthed _I'll pick it up_.

"As wonderful as that sounds, I'm afraid I can't run on her schedule, Jack. I will be sending Daniel to pickup the code." Johnson said monotonously, not wanting Jack to become suspicious. His eyes narrowed as Eggsy came closer, the gun still trained on him.

"I want you to call as soon as you have it," Jack sneered, feeling the urge to smack the man. He knew how important the files in the chip were, and yet here he was, sending a fucking messenger.

"Of course, I'll talk to you then." He hung up, not waiting for a reply. "Are we done now?" He spat at Eggsy, looking at the blond with rage-filled eyes.

Eggsy gave him a crooked smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Of course not. We won't be done until I get what I need."

"You don't need to keep my daughter captive anymore," the man said harshly, knowing that it was a bad idea to sound this desperate, but he couldn't help it. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her. "I'm not going to betray you."

Eggsy shook his head, as he put his weapon away. "That's for me to decide, Hank. Send me Elena's information as soon as you get it."

Eggsy turned around and left, feeling his stomach churn with disgust. It wasn't the first time he used other people as leverage, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last time either. It was part of the job. He reminded himself that it was not a good man he was threatening. Johnson did not deserve Eggsy's pity, not after everything he had done. It was because of people like Jack and Johnson that gullible young people like his friend died on a daily basis. It was because of depraved people like them that he was a Kingsman. Still, the look of confusion and fear in the eyes of Johnson’s young daughter was something that would haunt him for months to come, regardless of the fact that Eggsy knew he wasn’t actually going to hurt her.  

He put his glasses on, knowing that he needed to let Merlin know what was happening to decide on a course of action. He may not be able to talk to the man as often as before, but Eggsy wasn’t foolish enough to go into a mission where he wouldn’t have a handler without first going over everything the mission would entail.

 

He didn’t need to take such unnecessary risks. 

* * *

  _Eggsy gave the scientist a cheeky smile as he pushed him against the hard door of the club’s bathroom._

_His job was to distract the mark while Bors infiltrated the company’s network and destroyed their research. Merlin had tried explaining the semantics of what exactly it was they were destroying to Eggsy, but, if he was perfectly honest, Eggsy hadn’t quite been paying attention. It was all Harry’s fault, really, for looking so bloody gorgeous when jealous._

_The minute Merlin had mentioned how exactly he was to distract the company’s leading scientist, Harry’s look had gone sour. The man had taken a deep breath, clenching his hands with unnecessary force, and had glared at the table for the rest of the briefing. It was incredibly annoying for Harry to know that he, being the head of Kingsman – the one person whose approval was needed for virtually everything regarding Kingsman – could not keep Eggsy from going on honeypot missions._

_It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his lover; he knew very well Eggsy would never cheat on him. Eggsy was too loyal to do such a thing. What truly bothered him was the fact that someone else would get to see Eggsy undone. That was a look meant for Harry’s eyes, and Harry’s eyes only. No one deserved to see his darling in such a vulnerable state. He knew they wouldn’t be able to see nor appreciate the full extent of it, for they weren’t Harry and the look of pure love mixed with bliss was something only Harry could extract out of his lover. Still, having strangers look at even a passing look of pleasure on Eggsy’s face was enough to make Harry want to kill them with his bare hands - which wasn't exactly a good thing, or so Merlin had informed him._

_Eggsy knew all this, knew exactly how much Harry hated it, knew how bloody Harry could get when angry. But he also knew that this was part of the job, and he was a fucking professional, which was why he was now here, on his knees, with no real idea of what Bors’ was extracting and destroying but willing to distract the mark anyway._

_He unzipped the man with deft fingers, feeling a blush creep up his cheeks at the thought of Harry watching the feed real time. Eggsy hadn’t been particularly keen on coming on this mission, and he had implored Merlin to keep Harry out of the room, but both men knew Harry would not be stopped if he wanted to be there. The man was a forced to be reckoned with on a good day, on a bad day... well, they were just not going to be able to keep him out. Eggsy knew Harry wouldn’t be pissed at him, but still, he didn’t want the man watching as he did this… thing with someone else._

_Eggsy licked his lips slowly, looking directly at the mark’s darkened eyes as he lunged forward to lick a stripe up the man’s cock. A feeling of wrongness overcame him as he took the man in his mouth, but he kept going, knowing Bors would need at least another five to ten minutes to finish his part of the job. He caressed the back of the man’s upper thigh, moving his hand up to squeeze the man’s arse. The man – whose name Eggsy couldn’t remember for the life of him – groaned, flexing his hand’s as he scribbled for purchase._

_Eggsy kept going until his knees hurt, and the trembling of the man’s knees alerted him that the bloke was about to come. Eggsy suddenly stood up, undoing his fly and bringing himself closer to squeeze both of their pricks together. He heard the whine of both pleasure and disappointment as the man braced himself for Eggsy’s quick tugs._

_Eggsy held back a laugh at the sound. If the man honestly thought Eggsy was going to let him come down his throat then the bloke was straight out delusional. That was something only Harry got to do._

_Eggsy quickened his pace, a huff of frustration escaping his lips as the man came with a strangled shout while he was nowhere near close to coming. He knew he would come – eventually – but without Harry’s voice engulfing him, his hand’s touching Eggsy’s body, and those eyes staring into his very soul, he couldn’t quite bring himself to the edge that quickly._

_He let out another grunt after two minutes, when the man’s hand joined his own, trying to bring him to completion._

_“Close your eyes, darling,” Harry whispered in his ear, the man’s tone low. He knew Bors was almost done, and he needed Eggsy to move given that_ _the extraction team would be there in less than three minutes_ _, which he couldn't do with the erection he was sporting. “Come on, love, you can do it. Just let go.”_

_Eggsy moaned, throwing his head back as he let Harry’s warm tone bring him closer and closer to the edge._

_“Come, Eggsy. Come for me,” Harry growled, using a sultry tone, knowing how much his voice affected Eggsy, especially in bed._

_With a final moan, Eggsy shuddered, slumping against the man for a few seconds, collecting himself. He quickly redid his zipper, smirking at the sight of the man’s ruined suit._

_“We should do this again some time,” Eggsy purred in the man’s ear before sauntering off, not caring to look at the man’s face again now that the job was done._

_\--------------------------------_

_Merlin looked down at his tablet for a second as he murmured “We’ll need a full debriefing, as well as your reports-”_

_“We should have the debriefing after they’ve done their reports,” Harry interjected with a small nod towards Bors and Eggsy. “It’ll make things faster.”_

_Merlin nodded, turning to look at the agents. “Is there anything else you need to report?”_

_Harry waited for a few seconds for someone to speak up, before getting up. He wanted everyone out of the room as fast as possible. “Very well then, I don’t believe I have anything else to add. You are all dismissed.” Harry turned to face Eggsy as the younger man got up. “Galahad, a word,” Harry said in a clipped tone._

_Eggsy’s brows shot up in surprise at Harry’s overtly polite tone. The man only did that when he was downright pissed and didn’t want to fight in front of the other agents. Roxy shot them a curious look before following Merlin out the door, leaving the two men alone in the room._

_Eggsy walked closer to Harry, meeting the man’s eyes without a flicker of fear in his own. “What’s the matter?”_

_Harry still looked angry when he lunged forward, pinning Eggsy against the conference table as a growl escaped the man. “We should do this again? Really Eggsy?” He seethed before bringing Eggsy in for a bruising kiss._

_The younger man gasped into Harry’s mouth, widening his stance as Harry placed one of his legs in between Eggsy’s, forcing the younger man to lean back against the table. Harry nipped his way down to Eggsy’s throat where he bit down, sucking aggressively to leave his mark. He squeezed Eggsy’s arse possessively before bringing his hands up again to unbutton the younger man’s shirt. Harry tilted the younger man’s head back, leaving a trail of kisses and bite marks down Eggsy’s chest._

_Eggsy’s head_ _was swimming with desire, leaving little room for rational thoughts such as “this is the bloody conference room and someone’s bound to walk in on us”. Eggsy’s threw his head back as Harry squeezed his rock hard cock through his trousers, feeling all the blood rush south. He brough Harry in for another kiss, sucking on his lower lip as he brought his legs up and wrapped them around Harry._

_The man lowered him rather gently on the table, considering how pissed he looked, and he ran a hand through Eggsy’s hair, moaning when he felt the teasing touch of his husband’s hand as he undid Harry’s belt._

_“Yeh know I didn’t mean it,” Eggsy said finally, yanking Harry’s pants down. “He wasn’t even a good shag,” Eggsy breathed out._

_Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say as Harry pushed him down, his eyes fiery and possessive. “I want to know exactly where he touched you,” Harry growled as he yanked Eggsy’s shirt off and raked his fingers down Eggsy’s nude chest._

_“And why should I tell yeh?” Eggsy said playfully as he helped Harry pull Eggsy’s trousers and pants off._

_Harry gave Eggsy a very serious look as he leaned down, his hands on either side of Eggsy’s face. “Because I’m going to reclaim every single spot that was sullied by that asshole, and then I’m going to fuck you until the only thing you can remember is me,” the man deadpanned as if they were talking about the weather._

_Eggsy let out a low moan as he touched Harry’s still clothed chest. There was something incredibly hot about the fact that Harry was still fully clothed, not able to wait any longer to claim Eggsy. He loved seeing this more animalistic side of Harry._

_Eggsy took  Harry’s hands in his and trailed them down his chest to his hips. “He touched me here.” He grabbed Harry’s hands again and brought them to his ass. “And here.” He brought one of Harry’s hands to his hard cock and moaned when the man wrapped a hand around his hot member, giving it a soft tug. “And there.”_

_Harry’s pupils were blown wide, his eyes dark, watching Eggsy’s body raptly as the younger man guided his hands with precision, making Harry’s gut clench with desire. Without wasting another second he leaned down, touching every scrap of skin his hands could get a hold of. He kissed every inch of Eggsy’s chest, sucking at his nipples until Eggsy whimpered for Harry to get on with it._

_The older man kneaded Eggsy’s bare arse without shame as he kissed the inside of Eggsy’s left thigh, eliciting a broken “Harry” from the younger agent. Eggsy threw his hands back and arched his back as Harry’s warm mouth engulfed his prick, the wet heat making him melt against the table. Eggsy tried – and failed – to keep his eyes open, choosing instead to focus on the almost overwhelming sensations Harry was able to wreck out of him. He felt his world dissolve into nothingness the minute Harry breached his hole with one lubed finger – and where the hell had the lube come from? Had Harry been thinking about this since yesterday? Had he been thinking about fucking Eggsy againt the table for the entirety of the debriefing?_

_Eggsy’s entire body shook as his brain short circuited, a jolt of pure pleasure seizing him as Harry found his prostate. Harry looked at the younger man with a small, pleased smile as he added a second finger, his pace relentless. Eggsy brought his husband down for a kiss, his breath hitching as the man scissored him open. Harry groaned with pained pleasure as he added a third finger, knowing that he was going a bit faster than usual, but not being able to help himself any longer._

_He needed to be inside Eggsy now._

_“Fuck, Harry” Eggsy whined, covering his face with his hand as the man’s deft fingers found his prostate again and again, making Eggsy’s insides jolt every time. He tried to catch his breath, pressing his head against the cold table surface as the man finally withdrew his fingers._  

 _"Don't cover your face. I want to see you," Harry whispered as he pushed Eggsy’s legs a bit wider and_ _positioned himself, both men groaning the instant he breached Eggsy’s tight hole._

_Eggsy’s head hit the wooden table again as Harry bottomed out, both men staying very still until Eggsy finally whispered “I need you to move, Harry.”_

_The man chuckled as he pulled himself almost all the way out and slowly thrust back in, knowing very well that the slow pace would drive Eggsy mad. The younger man said nothing as he tried to sink further down Harry’s cock, wanting to take him all the way in. Harry kissed him again, that crazed possessiveness still present in his kisses, and began moving faster, his need to come finally greater than his want to draw it out._

_Eggsy cried out again, feeling the table move with him as Harry’s thrust gathered speed, Eggsy’s hole twitching around Harry. The table screeched with every movement, as the carpet was not thick enough to swallow the sound, but it did nothing to deter the two aroused men. Eggsy couldn't find it in him to care that there might be people listening in. Harry grabbed Eggsy’s outer tights and pulled him closer and changed the angle, hitting Eggsy’s prostate with every punishing thrust. The younger man’s vision blurred as his stomach clenched._

_He had never seen Harry this primal in bed, this… undone. He was always a bit rough in bed, but never had he been this possessive, this needy to leave Eggsy's skin marked with bruises and bites.There was a feral look in the man’s eyes, only softened by the all-encompassing, loving look that came over him every time he laid eyes on Eggsy. Harry’s movements became erratic as he neared his climax, smiling as Eggsy finally gave in, convulsing in his arms with the strength of his orgasm. Harry followed soon after, biting down hard on Eggsy’s shoulder._

_They remained tangled like that, half on top of the table, for a few minutes, trying to catch their breath._

_“Merlin’s gonna kill us,” Eggsy panted out, eliciting a chuckle from his husband. He was sore as fuck, and he was sure he looked like a fucking porn actor right now - splayed out and used - but he didn't care._

_“Well, perhaps now he’ll think twice before sending you on a blasted honeypot,” Harry grunted, giving Eggsy one final peck before pulling away to look at his handiwork._

* * *

 Roxy sat down next to Percival, watching quietly as the man cleaned his gun.

“We have confirmation that the leader of the drug cartel is scheduled to meet with three senators and the head of the CIA today,” Sam suddenly murmured into the comms. “Lancelot you’ll have to intercept her and bring her in for questioning.”

Percival’s brows shot up. “Wasn’t Jack running the drug cartel?”

“Apparently he’s just a puppet,” said Sam. “The real puppeteer is Elena.”

“Do we have her profile?” Roxy asked as she pulled out her tablet from her purse.

“Yes, I am sending you the information right now. It will be easiest to intercept her dinner with the head of the CIA,” said Sam in a muffled tone. “They’ll be meeting in a public restaurant which I can easily get you into.”

“What do you want me to do?” Percival grunted as he stood up to wash his hands.

“Stand by in case Lancelot needs backup. We don’t know if the woman will try to escape.”

\-----------------------------------------

Eggsy walked past the myriad of people sitting on the restaurant, most laughing and chatting without a care in the world. He roamed the restaurant with his eyes, smiling when he found Elena sitting at the bar. He sat next to her, ordering a drink before turning to face her.

“I thought we were going to have dinner,” Eggsy said pleasantly, slipping easily back into the Standard American dialect he had been using since his arrival.

“We were,” the woman said with a smile. “But I wanted a drink, and figured we weren’t actually going to take that long.”

Eggsy nodded before turning to thank the bartender who had just come back with his whiskey.

“So,” Eggsy took a long gulp of his drink. “Mr. Johnson said I was here to pick up some sort of chip.”

The woman hummed, regarding Eggsy with her clever eyes. “So you are one of those men that gets immediately down to business?”

Eggsy raised a brow, clearly surprised by her teasing tone. “I thought you wanted this to be quick,” he said carefully, testing the new playing field. 

The woman chuckled, her eyes as cold as Jack's had been. “That doesn’t mean there isn’t time for foreplay.”

Eggsy choked on his drink, his eyes widening at the implication. The woman just gave him another sultry smile, clearly finding his reaction amusing.

“So, Daniel, what are you going to do to earn the code?” She said with a wriggling of her brows. 

“I wasn’t aware I had to earn it,” he said honestly, starting to feel uncomfortable. “It’s not like it’s for me.”

The woman just gave him another smile, clearly unimpressed by his words.

Eggsy sighed, downing the rest of his drink in one go. He needed the chip. She knew that. “What do you want?”

The woman chuckled, shaking her head softly. “Such loyalty…. I wonder how far would you go for your employer?”

A sense of dread filled Eggsy at the woman’s penetrating glance. Did she know the truth? Her face was unreadable, but her words…. Was Eggsy just being paranoic?

She tilted her head to the side.  “I think a kiss will do,” she said in a low voice, turning fully to face Eggsy.

Eggsy sat frozen for a second. This had to be a bad joke. There was no way the woman had actually asked for a bloody kiss in return for the keycode. Still, after a minute, it became clear that she wasn’t fucking joking.

Eggsy cleared his throat, suddenly feeling more than just a bit uncomfortable as he leaned forward, placing his hand on the back of her neck. He kissed the woman chastely at first, but soon enough he touched her lips with his tongue, quietly asking for entrance. The woman complied, letting her hands rest comfortably on Eggsy’s chest. He deepened the kiss, letting his other hand trail down her back. She moved beautifully with him, her tongue playful and deathly. He could tell by the way she kissed that she was not someone he particularly wanted to mess with. 

Eggsy pulled away soon enough as his mind was flooded with images of Harry, of their first kiss, of their last kiss…

The woman opened her eyes, her lips slightly puffed because of their kissing. “You must be very loyal to kiss me even when your heart belongs to someone else.”

Eggsy breath hitched and his eyes widened. “How do you-”

“I can taste the reluctance and the shame in your lips,” She said as she looked at Eggsy right in the eye. “It’s in the way you move. You want to be kissing someone else.”

Eggsy swallowed hard, feeling bare under the woman’s eyes. She was too perceptive for comfort. She hummed softly, as if approving of Eggsy's actions, before pulling a small, silver chip that looked like a pin.

“Tell Johnson to put this inside the other chip and it should work just fine.” She said as she stood up, giving Eggsy a kiss on the cheek before turning around to leave.

The man stood up immediately, turning to pay, when he suddenly heard a female voice murmur “Eggsy?”

He whipped around, the color leaving his face as he came face to face with Roxy who had clearly not been expecting to find him there.

“Roxy,” he breathed out, his eyes snapping back to the nearest exit.

Roxy followed his gaze, her eyes hardening immediately. “What were you doing here with that woman, Eggsy?”

Eggsy shook his head, a sad look on his face. So it had come to this. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout, Rox.”

“Lancelot, bring him in. He needs to be questioned,” suddenly barked out Harry, his nostrils flared as he looked incredulously at the feed, his heart clenching painfully at the sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I am very excited for next chapter, so I'll try to update soon.


	19. I don't want to hurt you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry about hurting me, if that's what you're afraid of. I want to get hurt. At least I´ll feel something for a change.  
> \- Katie Kacvinsky

Eggsy's eyes flickered back to the exit sign. He would not be able to get there without knocking Roxy out - something he really didn't want to do.

But what else to do? He couldn't very well let Roxy take him. He needed to get Merlin the keycode; his mission wasn't over yet. And, as much as he loved his best friend, saving his husband was a priority to him.

Still he had no idea how to overpower Roxy when - unlike her - he wasn't well equipped, not to mention the fact that they were in a public space; she had every advantage.

Eggsy took a step to the right, which the other woman did not miss for she hissed at him before suddenly raising her arm and activating her watch. Eggsy jumped to the side, but he knew he was too late, if the numb feeling in his hand was anything to go by. He looked down with a shaky breath, feeling fainter and fainter by the second.

"You shouldn't have done that," Roxy said, her voice breaking at the end. She walked closer, catching Eggsy as the younger man fell, his mind going blank as the somniferous began taking its toll on his body.

Roxy grunted as she took on most of Eggsy's weight, walking quickly out of the restaurant where more than a few people had stopped to stare at the strange pair. She let Eggsy fall to the floor once they reached the nearest alley, where she took out her phone.

"Percival.... It's Eggsy. I found him with that woman," she panted out, holding back tears. "I put him to sleep."

"Oh my god," the man breathed out, his head jerking down as the loud noise of a cup breaking startled him back to his senses. It took him even longer to realize that it had been his own cup that had fallen to the ground. "Lancelot, he wouldn't-"

"Arthur wants to have him interrogated," she whispered as, finally, a few tears fell down her face. "I can't do it, Percival. I can't-"

"It's alright, love," Percival said immediately, trying his best to comfort his protégé. He couldn't let his Roxy break. "I'll do it."

* * *

_Percival looked at Harry with a small, knowing smile as he watched the man talk to his husband on the phone. Harry was oblivious to the man’s stare as he was too engrossed in his conversation, chuckling at something the younger man murmured that Percival couldn’t make out. Suddenly, he seemed to remember that he wasn’t alone, for he turned to look at Percival with wary eyes, muttering some excuse or another to end the phone call._

_He sat back down, clearly blaming Percival for cutting his lovely conversation short._

_“How long has he been gone?” Percival asked good-naturedly. It may have been years since he had had a partner, but he could still remember what it was like to be worried sick when James was gone on a mission and what it was to feel real, inexplicable giddiness every time he heard James’s voice on the phone._

_“A bit over a week,” Harry grunted, looking back at the picture of him and Eggsy on their wedding day, which he kept next to his computer. It had so far felt like the longest week of his life. It was awful._

_“And when is he supposed to be back?” Percival murmured sympathetically._

_“He should be back by the end of the week if all goes well,” Harry said softly, not even wanting to think what could happen if something actually went wrong._

_“He’ll be alright, Harry. He’s a good agent.” Percival said, fighting the urge to squeeze the man’s arm. The two of them had never been particularly touchy – mostly because James was a jealous maniac – and Percival didn’t really feel like starting now._

_“I know he is,” Harry said with a small shrug. “Still, one never knows…”_

_“Will you stop being so morbid?” Percival chastised him, still smiling softly. Trust it to Harry to think of the worst-case scenario._

_Harry sighed but said nothing, knowing that it was of no use to fight Percival. The man as as obstinate as himself. “Did you need something?”_

_“Can’t I come and talk to you simply because I’m bored?” Percival asked, a hint of cheek in his voice._

_“I don’t know, can you?” Harry drawled, raising a brow at him. A challenge._

_Percival chuckled, not rising to take the bait as he would have had they been ten years younger. “You’re an ass.”_

_“Ditto, my friend,” Harry murmured without bothering to look at Percival._

_“Alright, I actually came here to talk to you about something that has been bothering me for a while.” Percival leaned back, which told Harry the man wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon._

_Harry sighed, holding back an annoyed groan, and sat back, giving the man in front of him his full attention. Perhaps, if he actually listened to him, the man would go away faster. “What is it?”_

_“It’s about Eggsy,” Percival said as he intertwined his fingers on his lap._

_Harry frowned, a tinge of worry making itself present immediately. He knew how much Percival cared for his husband, so him coming to talk to Harry was not a good sign. “What about him?”_

_“You two had a fight before he left,” Percival said, his voice turning cold. “A fight that left him quite upset.”_

_Harry’s eyes narrowed as he glared at his friend. Bloody nosy is what Percival was. “How the hell do you know about that?”_

_“Because I saw him at the gym before leaving for Prague, and I asked what was wrong,” Percival said with a shrug, his eyes still trained on Harry. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. There are few things – and even fewer people – that can actually upset that boy.”_

_“Where are you going with this?” If there was one thing Harry disliked was wasting time by trying to sugarcoat things – not that Percival was one to sugarcoat anything._

_“Understand, Harry, that as much as I love you – yes I said it, now stop staring at me like that – Eggsy is like a son to me,” He said in a taut tone, his eyes hard. “So, if you ever hurt him, know that I will-”_

_Harry couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of the moment. Never, in his rather long life, had he expected one of his closest friends to give him the talk. Eggsy must have truly left an impression on the man for Percival to defend him so vehemently. Percival rarely sought confrontation with Harry, knowing it was a pointless endeavor, but it truly warmed Harry’s heart that Percival had Eggsy's interest at heart._

_“Eric,” Harry started, letting the man know he was speaking from the heart as he was using Percival’s given name. “I don’t ever intend to hurt my husband. The reason we fought was because I refused to send him to Prague. The mission was too risky and I didn’t want him getting hurt.”_

_Percival chuckled "You controlling fucker."_

_Harry rolled his eyes not deigning to give the man an answer._

_Percival suddenly frowned. “Wait, if you didn't want him to... He’s in Prague right now, Harry.”_

_Harry nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. “That’s because he won the argument,” the man admitted. “It took him a few days to convince me, but in the end I realized I couldn’t keep him here.”_

_Percival’s frown deepened. “You would never give in without some sort of plan B,” he mused._

_“I sent Bors with him,” Harry admitted without a trace of shame._

_Percival suddenly burst out laughing, clutching at his stomach as he pictured Eggsy’s indignant look. The boy hated when Harry played the Arthur card and meddled with his affairs, not that Harry gave a toss. The man's priority would always be to keep Eggsy safe, even if that meant getting into a fight to do so._

_“I’m assuming he forgave you?” Percival breathed out once he was calm enough to talk._

_Harry gave the man a devious smile. “Long distances tend to help when it comes to forgiveness.”_

_Percival shook his head as he stood up, still smiling. “Well, then it seems I can relax now.” He walked towards the door but suddenly stopped. “You’re still an ass, you know?”_

_“I love you too, Eric,” Harry said with a smirk as he looked back down at the report he had been reading before Percival walked into the room._

* * *

 Eggsy woke up with a start, feeling his body stiff and sore. He opened his eyes only to close them again, the fluorescent light not helping his growing headache.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again, fighting the bile that rose as his mind caught up with his eyes: he knew this room very well. It was one of the interrogation rooms they had at HQ, back in London, which meant that Roxy had managed to drug him with something strong enough to get him in a plane back to London.

He looked around the room, a small amount of relief blooming inside of him as he took stock of the room. He knew exactly how to get out, not that that meant anything. He was sure he was being monitored, and trying to get out would be as good as signing off his own death.

He tried to move his hands, only to find that they were heavily tied with some sort of metallic rope that kept them in place. He knew he could easily get out of his confines, but he had the feeling that it was just another way of testing him. But if he was right, then what were they trying to test? Would they think him a traitor if he undid the ropes? Was that even being questioned right now, or were they just assuming he was? Was it just to see how docile he was willing to be? Eggsy wasn't planning on revealing anything, so would it be better to be difficult from the beginning? It wasn't like they weren't going to realize soon enough.

He didn't have time to actually decide on a course of action as the door suddenly burt open to reveal a weary looking Percival. The man walked in and took off his jacket, hanging it on the back of the chair that was on the other side of the table. He gave Eggsy a grave look as he sat down, bringing his hands to his lips.

He was burning with the need to say something, his eyes looking tortured. “Eggsy... what happened to you?”

The younger man let out a shaky breath, Percival’s broken words cutting him more deeply than any knife. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand was disappointing those he cared for, and he cared deeply for Percival. “Thank you,” Eggsy suddenly whispered, “For not making Roxy do this.”

Percival’s lips twitched with anger. “Ah, but it’s okay for me to have to endure this? It's okay if I'm the one forced to see you-” the man could not even finish his sentence, his face churning with disgust and rage. 

Eggsy gave him a small, pained smile. He didn't know how to do this, didn't know how to comfort his friend. “No, but I wouldn’t want Roxy to… ya know.” Eggsy swallowed hard, looking away.

“Eggsy look at me,” the man pleaded, his voice gone hoarse. He hated seeing Eggsy like this; tied, skinny, pale. “I am going to have to ask you some questions, and I need you to answer.” Suddenly he stood up, grabbing Eggsy by the chin, the desperation visible in his eyes. “Please… I beg you… don’t make me do this. You know what will happen if you don’t cooperate.”

“I know,” Eggsy said, trying to sound as calm as possible. It wouldn’t do to show how afraid he truly was. Percival didn’t deserve that to scar his memory.

“What were you doing in Washington, Eggsy?" Percival muttered, letting go of his chin.

“Vacationing,” Eggsy said smoothly, still not meeting the man’s eyes.

“Bullshit,” Percival growled, clearly frustrated at Eggsy’s lack of eye contact. “Tell me the truth Eggsy.”

“That’s the truth,” the younger man said without wavering, finally looking up at the man. His heart clenched at the sight; never had he seen Percival look so utterly tortured.

“Percival,” Harry’s voice suddenly boomed in the room, the warning clear in his voice. There was something in his voice, something frail and irate, that told Eggsy that the man felt as betrayed as he had when Eggsy had told him – in the aftermath of V-day – that Arthur had betrayed them all. “Get on with it.”

Percival closed his eyes and fisted his hands as he tried to regulate his harsh breathing. This could not be happening. This was the man that had married one of his closest friends. This was the man that had befriended his niece. This was the man that had held him close when he had finally opened up about James. This was the man whom he saw as his own blood.

_This could not be happening._

_“_ You heard Arthur, Percival”Eggsy said softly, his eyes pleading. He wanted nothing more than to reach forward and engulf the man in a hug. “Just get it over with.”

Eggsy gave him a small, intimate smile, that Percival knew exactly what it meant; _It’s okay_.

The man let out a hollow scream as he suddenly charged forward, undoing the chains that held Eggsy to the chair. He picked him up by his throat and pinned him against the wall, his eyes dulled.

“Why where you in Washington, and who are you working for?” Percival said monotonously, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Eggsy choked out, trying to catch his breath as the man’s hold on his windpipe tightened.

Percival suddenly growled and hit Eggsy cleanly on his ribs, shattering at least two of the lower ones with a single well placed hit. Eggsy howled in pain as he bent over, not falling to the ground merely because Percival held him up by the back of his neck. He knew how effective Percival was on the field, but never had he expected to feel that brutal precision turn against him. He had sparred with the man before, but they had both always held back. He really hadn’t been expecting the hit, or he would have tried to muffle the sound. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Percival more pain.

The man pushed him against the wall again. “Why did you leave Kingsman?”

“Because I was tired,” Eggsy said, wincing in pain.

“Why were you in Washington with one of the most dangerous drug dealers then?” Percival seethed, grabbing Eggsy by his ear.

“I didn’t know she was a drug dealer,” Eggsy gritted out, grabbing Percival by the wrist.

“Liar,” the man whispered as he slapped Eggsy across the face, hard. “I want the truth, Eggsy.”

Eggsy held back a groan as he looked back at Percival. “I don’t know what you want, Percival. I’m telling you the truth.”

Percival slapped him again, this time hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Eggsy,’ the man all but whimpered, horrified at the sight of Eggsy's blood. “I don’t want to hurt you-”

The door suddenly burst open and the room went dark. Percival whipped around, not letting go of Eggsy’s neck, only to find himself at the receiving end of a flying kick. He groaned as he hit the ground, quickly moving to the side as he heard the whoosh of the wind as a leg came down to hit him on the floor. He stood up quickly, growling in frustration as it was too dark for him to see anything. He suddenly felt a hand on his arm and then a well-aimed punch to his stomach that had him bending over. He tried to grab the man’s arm, but the man was quicker than him, grabbing his arm and twisting him around, forcing him to fall on his knees.

Percival screamed as he fell to his knees; the man only had to press and Percival’s arm would break. It was obvious the man realized this as well for he suddenly smacked Percival on the neck, knocking the man unconscious.

He grabbed Eggsy by the wrist and pulled him out of the room, guiding him through the dark hallways. There was an alarm ringing all throughout the building, alerting every single Kingsman that there had been a breach, but the masked man didn’t bother to stop and see if someone was following them. Eggsy said nothing as the man dragged him along, knowing that now was not the time to question his savior. It mattered not that every step he took made his ribs scream in pain. They obviously had no time.

The man held Eggsy close as they descended a few flights of stairs Eggsy was sure he had not set a foot on in the six years he had worked as a Kingsman. Suddenly they reached a heavy door, which the man opened with a groan. He flung Eggsy through the door and closed it behind them both, grabbing Eggsy’s wrist once again. Eggsy held back a gasp as he looked up at the open sky. Six years in the service, and never once had he discovered that secret passage. The masked man ran towards a car that was clearly waiting for them and threw the passenger’s door open, shoving Eggsy inside as he ran to the other side. He pressed on the gas as soon as he was inside, closing the door as the car surged forward.

Eggsy looked at him, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the darkness. He suddenly gasped as the features hidden by the mask became clearer. “Merlin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very excited while writing this chapter. I was also in a lot of pain lol as I just had my wisdom teeth removed (which is why this chapter is a bit shorter than what I wanted it to be).  
> ANYWAY I hope you liked it, and I'll try to update soon!


	20. I'm your healer... your friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."  
> \- Octavia Butler

_"Will yeh 'tay still," Merlin murmured with a hint of annoyance, his words coming out choppy and muffled as he was holding a bottle of Betadine with his mouth by its cap._

_"You could have at least given me a tumble of scotch before this," Harry said as he winced in pain._

_Merlin pressed the swab against Harry's skin with more force than necessary as he disinfected the wound. Harry glared daggers at him for his cheek, which just made the magician smile wider. That's what Harry got for getting his dumb self injured._

_Merlin turned around and picked up a needle, giving Harry's knee a sympathetic squeeze. This was going to hurt Harry to hell and back, considering they didn't have any morphine to lessen the pain._

_"Just do it," Harry bit out, pale and sweaty. His arm was on fire, and he was starting to feel faint._

_Merlin nodded curtly, before piercing his best friend's skin with the needle, feeling the muscle tense under his gloved fingers. Harry bit his lower lip to keep himself from screaming out in pain as Merlin worked._

_"I've been thinking-"Harry said suddenly, stopping mid sentence to grip his chair, trying to gather his wits._

_"Have you now? We should really get you checked out Harry. You thinking things through doesn't sound like you," Merlin quipped, piercing Harry's skin again as he continued working on the wound._

_"Oh shut up you git and stop interrupting," Harry bristled, a hint of humour in his breathless voice. "I've been thinking of proposing."_

_Merlin stopped dead on his tracks. "Proposing? As in asking Eggsy to marry you?"_

_Harry looked at the man with bewildered eyes, clearly wondering if Merlin hadn't got hit in the head. "Is there any other kind of proposing that I could be talking about? For goodness' sake man-"_

_"It's just you... Married..." Merlin shook his head minutely. "Seems rather surreal."_

_Harry frowned. "How so?"_

_"You have been dating Eggsy for what, six... seven months?" Merlin shrugged. "It just doesn't sound like you to rush without-"_

_Harry chuckled, suddenly squeezing Merlin's knee. "In our line of work, we don't get to analyze things like this logically. You know that Merlin, so I did some.... Soul searching." He smile softly, his eyes glassy as he got lost in thought. "I realized that - this may sound corny but I will still hit you if you laugh - I just cannot bear the thought of dying without proclaiming to the world that Eggsy Unwin is mine and mine alone."_

_They both remained silent for a few seconds once Merlin finished stitching Harry up, staring deeply into one another's eyes._

_"You pervy, jealous little shit," Merlin murmured under his breath before chuckling._

_Harry rolled his eyes at his friend. "Why must you always twist my words you sick fuck," Harry said almost defeatedly, which only helped make the magician laugh harder._

_"Well I'm happy for you my friend," Merlin said lovingly, giving Harry a crooked smile. "He's good for you... And you are good for him."_

_Harry swallowed hard, biting back the tears that suddenly appeared at the corner of his eyes. There was something so gentle, so genuine in Merlin's warm voice that made Harry's heart tremble. The man had been there for him for thirty years. Thirty years of fighting side by side, years of laughter, pain, and sadness._

_It somehow made Harry's heart lighter to know Merlin was happy for him, that he cared for his darling Eggsy, that he wasn't merely happy because Harry was happy but because Eggsy was._

_"I just have to find the right time," Harry said softly, his eyes sparkling with hope._

_"Harry if Bors has taught us anything is that there is no fucking "right time". The man tried and look how long it took him." Merlin murmured as he took a sip of the tea he had all but forgotten in favor of helping Harry._

_"Oh I don't mean it like that," Harry said with a twitch of his lips. "I just wouldn't want to ask him to marry me while he is still angry."_

_Merlin scoffed, leaning back. "And what did you do to make him angry this time?"_

_Harry gave Merlin a look that clearly said he thought his friend was being particularly thick before raising his wounded arm._

_Merlin chuckled, getting up to clean up his workspace. "I take it he wasn't too thrilled when you jumped in front of him to take the bullet?"_

_Harry shrugged, adjusting his glasses minutely. "I'd rather him be angry than dead."_

* * *

The man said nothing as he pressed harder on the gas. Eggsy closed his eyes and took shallow, slow breaths, trying his best not to move around. Percival had definitely broken at least one of his ribs, and moving right now was not only dumb it was painful. Running to get to Merlin's bloody car had been strain enough, considering his current situation. He didn't want the magician smacking him for being reckless right now.

The man kept driving only half concentrating on the road ahead. He pressed his finger to his ear, activating the comm unit, no doubt to listen in to what was happening at Kingsman. They needed to be prepared. 

"I'm at home," Merlin suddenly grunted, not even bothering to stop at the red light. "I fell asleep early. I will check the security feed to see if we can find this masked man," Merlin murmured, probably talking to one of his handlers. "For now just search the perimeter. If one of the two was injured then he'll be needing medical help. Check every hospital in London."

Merlin gave a sharp turn to the left that had Eggsy digging his nails into his palm to keep himself from screaming.

"Arthur will want every agent available looking for the pair. Sam I want you to keep a track of airport security; have Ellie check the roads. If anyone so much as looks as Eggsy I want to be informed." His voice sounded strained, but it sounded... honest. The man did not even look guilty about lying so blatantly to his team.

"Will you be coming in, Sir?" Sam asked softly, already knowing the answer.

"I will as soon as I finish checking the feed, my dear. Tell Lancelot I will call her as soon as I can," The magician suddenly ended the call, turning off his comm as he brought the car to a halt. He quickly got out to help Eggsy.

He opened the younger man's door, gripping his arm with more force than necessary as he dragged him back into the safe house they had been at not three weeks ago. He closed the door behind him with a kick of his leg, not bothering to pick up the umbrella that fell due to the force of his kick.

He sat Eggsy down gently, quickly moving away to take off his mask and to grab a pack of ice from the fridge. He came back, his face still mostly hidden by the shadows as he knelt next to Eggsy. The younger man glanced down, not daring to meet Merlin's stormy eyes.

The magician ripped Eggsy's shirt open with ridiculous ease, cutting the bodysuit he had underneath with a small knife he kept inside his Kingsman issued watch. Eggsy looked at the watch with a glint of excitement in his eyes. That knife was certainly an upgraded version of the watch Merlin had either just developed or kept for himself. In any case, Eggsy would have the magician  make one for him when - if - he became a kingsman again.

The magician was oblivious to Eggsy's curious eyes as he ran a hand down Eggsy's ribs, checking his wounds. Eggsy winced as the man pressed right where it hurt. Merlin, noticing Eggsy's discomfort, immediately removed his hand, pressing instead the ice pack against Eggsy's sensitive skin.

"Percival really does love you," Merlin commented as he gently checked on Eggsy. "He made sure to cleanly break the rib, and he made sure to hit the lower ones which means less risk to your lungs."

Merlin got up and walked back to a small cabinet near the doorway that led to the kitchen. He crouched and opened the cabinet door, taking out a decanter half full and a single glass. He then walked into the kitchen, disappearing from view for a moment only to come back with a bottle of pills in hand.

Eggsy hummed, sitting up slightly as Merlin passed him the bottle along with a glass of water. Eggsy kicked back the pills quickly, softly thanking his friend who was now preoccupied with serving himself a drink.

"Oh, here you go," Eggsy said suddenly, rummaging his pocket for the small black case which contained the chip. He passed it to Merlin, wincing as he leaned back against the couch.

Merlin's eyes gleamed with hope. "I figured you had lost it once they found you. This is going to be extremely helpful."

Eggsy gave his friend a rueful smile before softly murmuring "so what now?"

Merlin sighed, rubbing his temples as he answered "I am not sure. I'll have to go and try to appease Harry." Merlin's eyes suddenly snapped up to meet Eggsy's. "I had no idea Roxy and Eric had been sent to the US. I would have warned you. I was just very busy with the new recruits that I didn't stop to think...." He sighed again, sagging a bit. "I'm sorry Eggsy."

"S'not yer fault, guv," Eggsy said as he squeezed the man's knee. "I shoulda been payin' more attention. 'Sides, s'not like we can do anything 'bout it now."

Merlin groaned in frustration, looking at his glass of scotch like it had personally offended him. "You have to lay low for a while, Eggsy. Everyone is going to have a lot of questions and the way it looks right now-"

"They're going to think I betrayed Kingsman, I get it Merlin," Eggsy murmured harshly, feeling the urge to throw his hands up in despair. Suddenly he froze. "We could use this to our advantage, bruv."

Merlin's tired looking face scrunched up in confusion. "What?"

"Think 'bout it," Eggsy said leaning forward. "The mole doesn't know Ghost Protocol exists. They're not gonna realize we're after 'em. We can use this to lure 'em out. Once we know who it is, you can send 'em on a mission to find me and I can kill them."

"In your condition?" Merlin raised a brow, looking exasperated. "That's not happening, Eggsy"

Eggsy growled as he stood up, his eyes furious. "Merlin we don't 'ave a choice. We need to take care of the mole without them knowing. There's someone at the American branch as well. If they realize we're onto them they're gonna hide and we ain't ever gonna find 'em in time." Eggsy suddenly leaned closer, clasping his hands around the lapels of Merlin's pristine shirt, ignoring the pain on his ribs. "We don't know how deep this runs, Merlin. It needs to be taken care of with discretion. Harry's life depends on yeh and me, mate."

Merlin exhaled slowly, seemingly not bothered by how close Eggsy was to him. "So, what, we go along with this idea that you are the mole and let the Kingsman agents hunt you down? You'll be dead before we can get to the real mole."

Eggsy shook his head with a conviction he did not feel, not that that mattered right now. The important part was to convince Merlin. "Not if we hurry. I can take the mole one on one, yeh just need to give me their name."

Merlin suddenly wrapped Eggsy's hands with his own, squeezing them hard enough to hurt. He needed to open Eggsy's eyes. The younger man was blinded by love, foolishly selfless and loyal as usual. "You forget that you are bloody _injured_."

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "C'mon Merlin, it's one broken rib-"

"Two broken ribs, Eggsy," The man said through clenched teeth, his eyes deadly serious.

"Nothing a little morphine can't handle. I'll be fine. I've handled worse, bruv." Eggsy pleaded with his eyes, letting out a shaky breath when Merlin cradled his face in his calloused hands.

Merlin's eyes watered as he looked at Eggsy, a hint of defeat in them. "I promised Harry I would always keep you safe, Eggsy.... You _will_ die if you take them on like this."

Eggsy rested his hand against Merlin's chest, patting the older man's back. "Trust me, Merlin. I am not going to die, not until I finish this mission anyway," he ended playfully, breaking some of the tension.

The man sighed as he shook his head, giving Eggsy a fond look. "You are as stubborn as Harry."

Eggsy grinned sadly at the man. "That's why he married me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really emotional writing this chapter tbh, so I hoped you liked it!
> 
> Only 10 chapters to go ;)


	21. Broken Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward.
> 
> \- Alison Croggon

_Roxy sat down at the table, letting her eyes wonder around the room. The restaurant was absolutely beautiful. The room was dim lit, making the ambiance feel more personal. The tables were relatively small, forcing the people to sit closer together, and they were far enough away from one another that couples could have private conversations without fear of being heard. There was a jazz band playing in a corner, the catchy music reminding Roxy of old romantic movies._

_She smiled as the waiter approached their - her and Merlin’s - table, sitting back to let Merlin do the talking. She much preferred to observe the room._

_“Good, evening, sir. What can I get for you?” The younger man said, looking between Roxy and Merlin with curious eyes, clearly wondering the nature of their relationship._

_“I think we’ll start with the Shrimp Bruschetta, and a bottle of Don Melchor," Merlin murmured with a small smile. "As for the main course I will have a filet mignon with bordelaise sauce."_

_The young man nodded and turned to look at Roxy. "And what would you like miss?"_

_"I'll have the Sea Bass with grapes," she murmured with a flirtatious smile, stifling a laugh when the waiter became flustered under her gaze. She chuckled softly, giving him a wink before leaning back again, turning to look at Merlin._

_"That will be all," Merlin murmured curtly, giving the young man a pointed look as he watched him go. "You're going to break the poor lad's heart when he realizes you're taken," Merlin mused, turning to look at Roxy with a glint of humor and raw possessiveness in his eyes._

_Roxy let out a laugh, leaning forward to place her hand on top of Merlin's, rubbing circles on his wrist slowly. The man said nothing, content under the younger woman's attentions. "I'm sure he knows I'm unavailable."_

_The man shrugged, "that has rarely stopped people from wanting you."_

_Roxy leaned even closer, her mouth an inch away from Merlin's ear. "Are you jealous, Merlin?"_

_The man held back a shudder as he turned to look into her eyes, their breaths mingling as they stared at each other, the sexual tension making their skins tingle with anticipation._

_"Are you trying to make me jealous?" The man retorted, his tone low and sensual. He raised a brow, the challenge clear in his eyes._

_Roxy gave him a mischievous half smile, her half lidded eyes shimmering with excitement. "Maybe," she whispered, tilting her head to the side._

_Merlin clamped down on the urge to forgo decorum and just pin Roxy to the table and kiss her, to let the young man know that the beautiful young woman was very much off limits._

_The waiter came back with their appetizer and the bottle of wine, a look of disappointment crossing his features as he took in their clasped hands._ _He poured a small amount of wine in Merlin's glass, waiting for his verdict to serve._

_Roxy smiled again at Merlin as the man swirled the wine softly, taking a deep breath to appreciate the scent of it before taking a small sip. It was a secret pleasure of Roxy's to watch her boyfriend drink wine. The way he masterfully held the glass, the way his throat moved when he swallowed. It was something Eggsy apparently appreciated in Harry too, if the drunk phone conversations he and Roxy had about their respective lovers on a regular basis were any indication._

_Merlin finally nodded at the young waiter, who promptly poured the wine into both glasses, quickly scurrying away. Merlin shook his head, still rather amused as he raised his glass, his eyes never leaving Roxy._

_"I don't know if I told you already, but you look breathtaking," Merlin murmured thickly, his pupils blown._

_Roxy felt her cheeks grow hot. Merlin never failed to make her blush every time he complimented her. "You mentioned it once or twice, yes." She took a deep breath, her expression suddenly turning serious. "Merlin, there's something I wanted to ask you."_

_The man sat straighter, feeling the change in mood. "What's the matter love?"_

_"Now that we're going to move in together, there's something I need you to promise me," she said, a sense of urgency overtaking her. She gripped Merlin's hand, but kept her gaze low. "We lie for a living," she whispered, feeling more vulnerable than she had in a long time. "So please just.... I want you to promise me that there will be no lies between us."_

_Merlin let go of Roxy's hand in favor of cradling her face. "Look at me, baby," he whispered. His eyes softened as Roxy looked up, an earnest look in her eyes. "I promise."_

* * *

The doors of the elevator opened to reveal a dim lit office filled with at least twenty people, all looking stressed. A woman zoomed past Merlin, avoiding a collision by a mere inch. Her eyes were wild and she was speaking loudly in Russian, her hands full of papers. Merlin took a moment to look at her; he could never tell whether Elaine was talking to herself or to the agents through the comms and it unnerved him.

"Merlin," said a soft spoken, short, plump woman, who immediately ran to the magician's side. She had long red hair and rosy cheeks that gave her a sweet, innocent air that she didn't always live up to, especially when angry. Her bright blue, intelligent eyes were staring right at Merlin, who - being a foot taller than her - had to crane down to look at her.

"Sam," the man nodded as he kept walking, giving her a soft smile. Even in a sour mood the young woman always managed to extricate a smile from him.

"Ellie is running a scan of every security camera in London, but so far we haven't been able to find neither the masked man nor Eggsy. I have informed airport security not to let them through in case they try to leave the country and Bors and Percival are on the ground, checking every possible hiding place."

Merlin nodded. "How is Percival?"

"He's fine." She shrugged minutely. "He's got a few bruises, but really the only thing that suffered was his ego, which is not a bad thing if you ask me," the young woman said with a wink.

Merlin chuckled as he opened the door to his office. While Sam loved Percival, she had never tried to hide the fact she took particular pleasure in seeing him in mild trouble, especially after he had given her hell during a recon mission that had gone tits up because Percival had refused to follow simple instructions.

"Sir," Sam said hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable with what she was about to say next. "We could always lure him in."

Merlin frowned, a hint of fear threatening to engulf him. "How?"

She took a deep breath, her eyes looking misty. "We could bring in his family," the younger woman whispered, looking at the floor.

"Absolutely not," Merlin said curtly, closing the door as he looked at her. "We are not going to harm his family, Sam."

"I didn't say we should harm them," she said sharply, her nostrils flaring. She had never felt this insulted by her mentor. "All we need to do is keep them here until he comes."

"I said no," the magician snapped, his temper flaring. "And you will not mention this... idea to anyone else, Sam."

The young woman gave him a long, calculated look. She wasn't Merlin's protege for no reason. "We don't know what Eggsy has been up to, Merlin," Sam said slowly. "Our agents could be in danger this very moment. Weren't you the one that said we had to protect kingsman at all costs?"

"Sam I know you are worried," the magician said, stepping closer. "I know you're probably angry as well. Believe me, my dear, I am just as confused as you, but this is Eggsy we are talking about." He grabbed her by the wrists gently, looking pleadingly into her eyes. "Just trust me, will you? Whatever happens for the next few weeks, I just need you do as I say and trust that I have Kingsman's best interest at heart."

Sam gave him an incredulous look. If the man was trying to reassure her, then he was doing a shit job at it for he had just set off every red flag in her head. Still, this was Merlin. The man had taken her under his wing from the minute she had stepped foot in Kingsman, and he had done nothing to merit her distrust.

Neither had Eggsy for that matter, and yet here they were. She finally sighed and nodded.

"Do you promise to explain later?" Her voice held a warning in it. 

"I'm sure he will, Sam," Roxy said from the door, looking at the two with her arms crossed. "I need to talk to you, Merlin," the young woman said, her tone icy.

Sam looked between the two for a second, before leaving without saying another word. Roxy rarely got angry, but when she did, she got _furious_ and Sam had no intentions of seeing the shit show that was sure to go down in Merlin's office.

Merlin held back a sigh as he walked towards his desk. Futilely hoping that the distance would help dissuade the younger woman. "Roxy, darling, I don't think now is the time to-"

"Now is the perfect time," she cut in, her eyes simmering with rage. "I know it was you, Merlin."

The man crossed his arms in front of his chest, taking another step back. "What in the world are you talking about Roxy?"

"You were the one that got Eggsy out." She whispered sharply.

"Roxanne are you out of your mind?" Merlin snapped looking at the closed door with wariness. "I was at home-"

Roxy lunged forward, grabbing Merlin by the collar of his shirt. "Stop lying to me, Everett," Roxy growled, her eyes swelling with angry tears. "You swore to me.... You swore you would _never_ lie."

Merlin visibly flinched at the use of his name and at the sight of Roxy's tears. "Roxy-"

She shook her head and pushed him away when he tried to hug her. "Don't touch me." She cleaned her eyes, pinching her nose to get herself under control. "I know your fighting style as well as I know my own, Merlin." She turned to look at him, her fiery eyes burning holes in his soul. "The way Percival was punched... the way his assailant kicked.... That's how you fight when you're training, Merlin. That's how you fight when you don't actually want to hurt your opponent."

Merlin remained quiet as he plopped down on his seat, looking defeated.

Roxy stalked closer, pressing her palms against the table, leaning closer to whisper "why did you help Eggsy escape?"

Merlin looked at his lover with a tortured look. It was his job to keep Ghost Protocol a secret. There was a reason agents didn't know about it - Eggsy was the prime example of that. It was his job to fool every agent into believing Eggsy was a traitor, but how could he lie to Roxy? The brilliant, stubborn woman didn't deserve that.

Yes, he had a duty to Kingsman, but he had a duty to his wife, or, more accurately, to the woman he intended to make his wife - that is if she accepted.

"I helped him, because I couldn't let Percival kill him," he murmured calmly, his countenance betraying his tone.

"He betrayed us first," she said, a few tears escaping her iron control at that.

"No, he didn't Roxy. He's trying to save Harry," Merlin said urgently, suddenly cradling Roxy's face with his hands. "There's a mole in Kingsman, Roxy, and he's trying to kill Harry. Eggsy is just doing his job."

Roxy frowned, looking like a lost little girl. "But how? He quit. You said he-"

"There is something called Ghost Protocol," Merlin whispered, rubbing his thumb comfortingly against Roxy's cheek. "I will explain it all to you when we get home. It's not safe to talk more about it here, but I swear to you Roxy that Eggsy has not betrayed us."

She grabbed his hands, her eyes suddenly frantic. "Then we must call off the search-"

"No!" Merlin all but yelled, grabbing her by the wrist to keep her from moving. "They must all believe Eggsy betrayed us. The mission might depend on that."

She shook her head, looking desperately between the door and Merlin. "He's hurt, Merlin. I don't understand-"

"He's safe right now, love. They're not going to find him. I'll make sure of that. I just need you to keep this to yourself." Merlin grabbed her chin gently, tilting her head up. "Please, Roxy, I need you to trust me. The only reason I've kept this from you is because no one must know-"

"Didn't it occur to you that I could help you both?" She seethed, batting away Merlin's hand.

"Protocol demands complete discretion. I couldn't tell you," Merlin said, not daring to meet Roxy's scorching eyes.

"And since when do you follow the bloody protocol?" She breathed out, looking livid.

Merlin groaned in frustration, feeling the itch to break something. He stood up, pacing around the room for a few seconds as he tried to collect his thoughts. Why hadn't he told Roxy? She was right, it wasn't like he hadn't broken protocol twice already to keep Eggsy alive. Why hadn't he told her a thing?

_To keep her safe._

It was idiotic. It had been a choice based on sentimentality, but it was the truth. He hadn't wanted to see Roxy get hurt, neither physically nor emotionally. He hadn't wanted to worry her by telling her that Eggsy was risking his life by going into the field completely unprotected; it was enough for one of the two to lose sleep over the matter. He hadn't wanted her to suffer or rage at the injustice every time Harry walked into a room because the man's husband was in another continent, risking his life, while said man was here, oblivious to the impending danger. He hadn't wanted her heart to break for Harry for, while the man was oblivious now, Merlin was sure - a fool's hope - that the man would eventually remember everything, and he would eventually come to suffer more than all of them combined. He hadn't wanted to break her heart by bringing her the news of her best friend's eventual death. She would have realized eventually, of course, but she would have never had to find out the gory details that Merlin could not stop envisioning every time he dared close his eyes.

He had wanted to spare her, and he had failed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered defeatedly. He wasn't sure whether he was apologizing to her for lying to her or for her finding out the truth.

Roxy sensed his distress, and sighed. She could see the tension in Merlin's shoulders, the tiredness in the bags under his eyes. She had hoped never to see this look again on his face.

She closed the distance between them, bringing up her arms to hug him tightly. "Don't keep things from me, please. You know you can trust me."

"You know I do," Merlin said brokenly, her words a blow to his heart. He squeezed her closer, wanting to meld their bodies together.

Roxy looked up at him. "Then you'll explain everything as soon as we get home, Merlin, or I swear to God-"

Merlin leaned down, placing his hands on Roxy's hips to hoist her up and kiss her hard. She tensed at first, surprised by the suddenness and the fierceness of Merlin's touch, but she gradually relaxed, melting into his embrace.

She pulled away first, resting her hand on the back of Merlin's neck. "Promise me."

He kissed her again, resting his forehead against hers. "I'll tell you everything once we get home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> P.S brace yourselves because next chapter is going to be... Eventful


	22. "And you, Brutus?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Et tu, Brute! Then fall, Caesar."  
> \- William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

_Harry sat down on his small bed, looking around the room as he silently assessed every other recruit that was there. They all seemed nice enough, if you ignored the fact that they were all just a bunch of posh, arrogant gits Harry couldn't actually stand._

_The boy sighed, leaning back against the bed, looking at the body bag in silent, and resigned, curiosity. He had always had a morbid interest in death or the illusion of death. It was terribly interesting to think about what happened after one died. Most people found it scary and macabre, but Harry was marveled by it, which was why he - for a while - had kept the corpses of the insects he found in his garden, much to his mother's dismay._

_She had hated his little hobby, which was why at the tender age of eight - when he had been told his mother wasn't coming back - he had gotten rid of all of his little dead friends in the hope that perhaps his mother would come back to him._

_She hadn't, of course. She had never come back, nor would she ever. He knew that now, though, at the time, it had taken him two long and painful years to realize._

_Harry sighed again, the memory of his mother smiling at him - that small smile she gave only him - making his eyes prickle. It had been twelve years, and yet he still couldn't shake the need to hear his mother's voice one more time, to feel her warm embrace. It had been twelve years yet he still woke up most nights because of a bad dream, his mother's name escaping out of his lips in a broken whisper before he could stop himself._

_Perhaps that was another reason he was so obsessed with death; a part of him felt the urge to know where she was, if she was alright, if she still cared about him. He wanted to know whether or not he'd ever get to see her once he himself died._

_He was shaken out of his reverie by William - the very man that had brought him here. Harry was quick to stand up, walking to the center of the room where the other trainees were waiting for further instructions._

_"At ease," the dark skinned man grunted, giving them all a once over. "Well, gentlemen, welcome to the most dangerous job interview in the world." He smirked, his sharp factions making the smile look scarier than probably intended. "As you may have noticed there are body bags placed at the foot of your beds. You are to write your next of kin on that bag. I would get myself acquainted with those bags if I were you, because those are the bags we'll use if you die during training or if you ever breathe a word to anyone about this organization."_

_Harry stifled a smile, knowing how effective the man was at intimidating people._

_The man cleared his throat, looking down at his notebook as he murmured "now, there are more of you than there normally would be as this time around we'll be recruiting two agents as opposed to one-"_

_A blond boy standing next to Harry frowned. "Two, sir?"_

_"Yes, Mr. Beck, two," the man snapped, his eyes as calm as ever. He then took a minute to look over everyone. "You might be feeling more assured because of this, so allow me to correct you; the fact that we are recruiting two agents does not make this interview any easier for you. You'll be put through double the amount of tests, not to mention, we have no problem sending all of you home and starting again."_

_That seemed to sober the crowd as all of them stood a little straighter, a look of determination on their faces._

_William smiled again, this time more genuinely. He was going to enjoy crushing this lot._

_"Fall out," he said softly before murmuring "Mister Hart, a word if you please."_

_Harry followed the man out with a look of confusion on his face that the man couldn't help but find adorable. It was the same look Harry's late mother used to get when another agent fucked up a mission so badly that nothing was salvageable and either she or William had to clean e _verything_  up  in the aftermath. _

_Harry looked a lot like his mother, which didn't exactly help ease William's wounded heart._

_The man cleared his throat, his features softening substantially. "This is the lat time I'll be able to speak to you freely as this year I'm responsible for training all of you, and Arthur allowed me to nominate you on the condition that I show you no favoritism." He placed his hand on Harry's shoulder, the warm pressure helping Harry relax minutely. "These kids... Most of them are not the type of people you tend to like," the man admitted with a small smile. "Still, remember that you must be able to work as a team and also on your own. Be focused, and be ready at all times." He patted the boy's shoulder. "Apart from that, don't stress too much, my boy, I am confident you will excel."_

_Harry blushed, smiling shyly at the man. "Thank you, sir."_

_The man nodded and moved away. "Good luck, Harry," he murmured with a wink before turning around and leaving. Harry stayed on the hallway for a few minutes, enjoying his last moments of solitude before heading back in._

_He sat back on his bed, surprised to find a lanky young man already sitting there, at the edge of his bed._

_"Can I help you?" Harry said nicely enough. He had seen the boy before and, out of all of them, he had seemed to be the most decent one._

_The boy shrugged and gave Harry a crooked smile. "You seem to be smart enough to keep a conversation without the need of me hitting you every few minutes," the young man said, with a lovely Scottish brogue._

_Harry raised a brow, a small chuckle escaping him. "I take it you haven't warmed up to the group yet, then?"_

_"Neither have you," the boy replied smoothly, locking eyes with Harry, a glint of camaraderie visible in his eyes._

_Harry tilted his head, his lips twitching with amusement. There was something different about this boy that Harry definitely liked. He had obviously come from money, as everyone else in the room, but he wasn’t an arrogant brat. He was obviously sharp, but there was a gentleness about him that warmed Harry’s heart - if he was honest, it reminded him of his mother._

_He really hoped the boy got one of the two spots._

_“I’m Harry Hart,” he said, offering the boy his hand._

_“Everett Ewens,” the young man said with a soft smile, shaking Harry’s hand._

_“So, Everett,” Harry said in a whisper, leaning in closer as he looked to the side where most of the boys were now getting ready to go to sleep. “ What do you say we team up?”_

_Everett chuckled, shaking his head softly. “I was actually thinking of telling you the same thing.”_

* * *

Harry looked around the table, a grim expression on his face. His shoulders were tense, and his hands were hidden in his lap - an unconscious habit he had developed after V-day as his hands would occasionally tremble when he was under too much stress and Eggsy wasn’t there to calm him. 

He probably had no idea why he was finding it so hard to find his center, to be calm, Roxy mused. It was always Eggsy that centered Harry. He was the one that always helped the man breathe after a panic attack, the one that held Harry’s hand under the table when a particularly nasty mission needed to be discussed. 

But Eggsy wasn’t there anymore, and the man couldn’t remember any of that. The only thing Harry knew right now was that his agents were looking all over for Eggsy, who was now considered a traitor to the organization. The only thing he knew was that he had blindly trusted the younger man - albeit for a very short period of time - only to find out that everything he had believed he knew about Eggsy through his file was meaningless, for the younger man had been a mole all along.

It was a bitter pill to swallow - to put it mildly. 

Harry cleared his throat, before gravely saying. “As you have been informed, we have reason to believe that Gary Unwin - formerly known as Galahad - has betrayed Kingsman.” Harry swallowed thickly, feeling uncharacteristically saddened. His mouth felt like led, and his stomach was churned tight enough to hurt. His heart throbbed in his chest as worry clutched at his heart. 

_Was Eggsy okay? Why the bloody hell did it matter so much? Why had he done it? Was he being forced?_

By god, Harry was going mad. 

“As he is a kinsman agent,” Harry continued with difficulty, clenching his fists, “he will not give in under extreme methods of interrogation.”

“Then what do you want us to do, Arthur?” Said Bedivere with a frown. 

Harry took a deep breath, looking sickened as he murmured “he is to be killed on sight.” 

Roxy felt her body go numb as her pen fell from her hand, her eyes immediately snapping to meet Merlin’s. They shared a desperate look as silence took over the room, no one daring to move a muscle. Roxy’s eyes watered as she continued to look at her lover, feeling more and more dizzy by the second. Merlin wasn’t looking much better. 

The magician was clutching at his pad like that was the only thing keeping him alive, his eyes a mix of horror and pure rage. 

This was not how things were supposed to go. Harry was supposed to live happily with his husband. Eggsy was supposed to grow old with him.  Harry wasn’t supposed to forget everything. Harry wasn’t supposed to think Eggsy had betrayed him.

Harry wasn’t supposed to condemn his own husband to _die_.

Merlin felt his body rebel against his iron control as every cell in his body screamed at him to move, to do something. His best friend wouldn’t want Merlin to allow such a thing to occur. 

“Arthur, can I have a word with you?” Merlin said tersely, not giving a rat’s ass that they were still in the middle of a meeting. 

Harry looked back at Merlin, clearly surprised by the strange request, but he got up nevertheless, following Merlin out of the room.

Merlin closed the door to Harry’s office as soon as the other man went in, turning to pace around the room for a few moments, feeling like a trapped animal. “Harry you can’t… Look, I think you’re taking it too far with sending them to kill Eggsy.” 

The magician wouldn’t meet his friend's eyes, afraid that Harry would see too much there. Because, while Eggsy and Merlin had agreed that he should be believed to be the mole, Merlin hadn’t been expecting his best friend to send the knights out for blood. He had expected the man to send them to capture Eggsy, at most. 

This was quickly getting out of control. 

Harry frowned, a flash of anger crossing his features. “Did you just pull me out of the meeting to plead for someone who betrayed us?” Harry said in disbelief. 

Merlin rolled his eyes, turning to face Harry. “I pulled you out of that meeting because I believe you are taking this too far, Arthur.” He sighed, moving closer. “Listen to me, Harry, the boy-”

Harry could see Merlin’s mouth moving, so words were definitely coming out, but he was deaf to his friend’s worth as an irrational bout of rage overtook him, burning his insides. 

Why did Merlin care so much about Eggsy? Had there been something going on between the two? No, that couldn’t have been it. Eggsy had told him he had been interested in - but Eggsy was a traitor. What if everything he had told Harry was a lie? What if he had bewitched Merlin with his charm, and then lied to Harry? 

And why the hell did he feel like he was going to burst with jealousy? Why did he care so much whether or not his friend and Eggsy had had something? It was of no importance to him. 

God, he wanted to break something. Never had he felt so betrayed by his best friend. This was not how things were supposed to go. 

“Enough, Merlin!” Barked out, Harry, his voice as cold as ice. “The man is a traitor, and - if his file is anything to go by - we won’t be getting anything out of him. The only solution is death - as it always has been. I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this.” Harry clenched his fists, trying his best to control the unbearable rage whirling inside of him, choking him, blinding him. “If you’re compromised because of your feelings for the boy, I’d rather you tell me right now.” 

Merlin looked like he had been punched in the face. “ _Feelings_? You think I have feelings for Eggsy?” 

Harry took a deep breath. “Well your behavior leaves little room for something-”

Merlin lunged forward without thinking, slapping Harry with the back of his hand. Hard. 

Both men froze, the tension in the room shattering as skin hit skin. Harry looked at Merlin with wide eyes, a flash of hurt, rage, and absolute sorrow crossing through his eyes. He touched his reddened cheek with numb fingers. 

This was the first time, in over thirty years of knowing the man, that Merlin raised a hand at him. 

_Was this how he lost his best friend? Was this the end, then?_

Merlin had never looked this angry. “How dare you, Harry?” The man said brokenly, not sure whether he wanted to scream or to cry. “Thirty five years of friendship and this is the bullshit you come up with? I have _never_ seen Eggsy like that. I love Roxy, in case you haven’t realized.” Merlin buried his face in his hands. Of course the man hadn’t realized. Merlin and Roxy had barely spent time together since Harry’s accident, and he had never thought of telling him that he and Roxy were together. Still, that didn’t help make him feel any better, although a trace of guilt was starting to clutch at his heart. “You know what? Do whatever you want.” 

Merlin turned on his heel, distantly noticing that Harry had made no move to strike back, which meant the man was either too stunned to respond or he had actually felt bad about making such an accusation. He really hoped the reason was the latter. 

Perhaps it was for the best that he had left the room. Eggsy was right, after all - they needed the mole to follow him. He could make Harry work for his forgiveness at a later time; right now the most important thing was to keep both Harry and Eggsy alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter hurt me so much when I was writing it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it.


	23. The Mole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Everything has a past. Everything – a person, an object, a word, everything. If you don’t know the past, you can’t understand the present and plan properly for the future."  
> \- Chaim Potok

_Eggsy looked at Harry, trailing a trembling hand down Harry's chest. His hands shook as he moaned, his eyes snapping close._

_"Harry," he whined, squirming on top of Harry, his pale skin flushing a rosy color that had Harry's mouth watering immediately._

_He kissed Eggsy softly, pinching one of the young man's perked nipples with one hand as he sucked on Eggsy's neck. Eggsy moaned again, closing his hands around Harry's biceps like a vine. He grinded against Harry, trying to tease the man into giving him another finger._

_One wasn't enough._

_"Harry,"Eggsy growled, his tone half commanding, half desperate. "I need you inside me, now."_  

_"Patience, my sweet," Harry said breathlessly, clearly enraptured by the way Eggsy moved, pressing in a second finger just to hear Eggsy groan._

_Eggsy shivered, grinding down on Harry's hand hard. Harry flexed his fingers slightly, changing the angle just enough to hit Eggsy's spot every time he pressed his fingers in._

_Eggsy gasped, throwing his head back as he felt his body melt under Harry's ministrations. The older man kissed Eggsy again, easily adding a third finger that had Eggsy desperately rutting against his hip._

_Suddenly Harry pulled out - Eggsy immediately feeling the unbearable loss - only to pin Eggsy to the bed, sucking on his left nipple and grazing it softly with his teeth. Eggsy, who had always had especially sensitive nipples, felt himself go boneless, crying out in pure pleasure._

_Harry positioned himself, holding Eggsy by his lower back as he pushed in, moaning as he saw Eggsy arch his back in a way that would have been impossible for most people. He thrust in, biting Eggsy's jaw, his chin, the small bit of skin underneath his chin._ _Eggsy shook again, fighting the urge to purr. He had never felt this debauched, this utterly ruined, this utterly loved. Harry thrust in hard again, hitting Eggsy's prostate just right, making the younger man cry out his name as his eyes became glazed with pleasure._

_"Hary, please..." He babbled, shaking his head from side to side. "Fuck me harder, wanna feel ya tomorrow."_

  _Harry groaned, snapping his hips hard enough to make the bed rattle._

  _Eggsy suddenly grabbed Harry by his shoulders, pushing himself up to whisper in Harry's ear "Make me yours babe," he panted out, half out of his mind._

_That was the problem with having sex for the first time with the person you had been pining after for months; you said too much when either drunk or high on endorphins._

_Harry groaned, feeling his self control snap at that as he drove into Eggsy like a man demented, the bed shaking with the strength of his thrusts. Eggsy took it in stride, crying out every time Harry hit his prostate, not caring that he was probably embarrassing himself by being so loud. It did help though, to know that Harry was almost as loud as him._

_The man wrapped a hand around Eggsy's member, not realizing how close the younger man was to coming, for as soon as he touched Eggsy's cock, the younger man gasped. His eyes rolled back as he came, his vision blurring._ _Harry fucked Eggsy through his orgasm, his movements coming to a halt as Eggsy's muscles drove him into completion, milking him dry. He bit Eggsy's jugular to keep himself from screaming, smiling softly as he heard Eggsy's content sigh._

_He pulled away after a few moments, kissing away Eggsy's wince. He too didn't want to move, but he wasn't going to let Eggsy's cum dry on his stomach and chest._ _He stood up and walked to the bathroom, bringing  back with him a wipe with which he proceeded to clean Eggsy, kissing him softly as he did so._

  _"I love yeh," Eggsy blurted out suddenly, his eyes widening as he realized what he had said out loud._

  _Fuck, this was not the way Eggsy had meant to tell Harry. Hell, he wasn't even sure he had planned to tell him at all - not yet at least._

  _Harry felt his heart stutter to a halt, his eyes turning soft and gooey as he stared into Eggsy's beautiful blue eyes. He kissed Eggsy softly, feeling the tension seep out of the younger man's body slowly. He tried taking a deep breath, but found it impossible as his heart seemed to be hell bent on bursting with happiness._

_"And I love you," Harry whispered in Eggsy's ear, kissing the shell of his ear._

_Eggsy grinned at him, flipping Harry to be on his back. He rested his head on the man's chest, smiling again as he began playing with Harry's chest hair, feeling satisfied and sleepy._

_Harry kissed the top of his head, caressing Eggsy's  back with long, slow strokes._

It _was scary to know how easy it was to love Eggsy, how necessary he had become._

Harry woke up with a shaky gasp, sitting up immediately as he looked around the dim room, his head throbbing. That dream, just like the past few nights, had felt far too real. 

He grunted low in his throat as he looked at his tented pants, cursing at himself for falling prey to his body. A wave of guilt washed over him as he looked at the ceiling. He couldn’t believe he was hard. 

No, scratch that, he couldn’t believe he had dreamt he _fucked_ Eggsy and then confessed his love. 

What was happening to him? Hadn’t they gone over this already? The younger man had already told him that it was a- 

_oh fuck._

What if Eggsy had been wrong? What if if it hadn’t been one sided? What if Harry had just never acted upon it? Had he been lusting after Eggsy during those six years too? Or was it all a lie Eggsy had told him to throw him off his scent? 

But then, why did it hurt so much to think of Eggsy dead? Why did he feel like his whole world was crumbling, that the house was too empty? 

Harry stood up, willing his erection away with sheer force of will, his eyes looking haunted. He would not get off to thoughts of Eggsy. He couldn't. He moved to stand next to his desk and picked up his phone, ready to call Merlin, but then he remembered the man’s anger. 

Merlin would tell him nothing. He wasn’t even sure if the man was willing to speak to him at the moment.

Harry threw the phone across the room, shattering as soon as it hit the wall. He crouched low on his feet, burying his head in his hands. 

He needed a drink.

\-----------------------

Roxy opened the door to her house, breathing out "Eggsy" in a most relieved tone as she ushered the tired looking man inside. 

 She drew the curtains before pulling the rather surprised blonde into a hug. "I've been worried sick, you asshole," she growled. "The least you could have done was tell me the truth." 

 Eggsy kept staring at Roxy, a million different questions popping up in his mind. Why was she there, for starters, and why the fuck had Merlin told him to come if Roxy was here? What did she mean by "the truth"? Had Merlin told her about Ghost protocol, disregarding the rules yet again? 

"Eggsy," Merlin said with a small smile, leaning against the doorway to his home office. "I was starting to worry about your whereabouts."

"Merlin, can I have a word with you in private?" Eggsy asked calmly, pushing past the man into his study. His calm exterior was betrayed by the furious look he was sporting. He waited until Merlin closed the door to his offie to say "mind explainin' what the fuck is goin' on?"

Merlin sighed, sitting next to Eggsy on the couch. "Roxy realized it was me that attacked Percival." 

Eggsy paled, his eyes turning sad. "Did you tell her-"

"Everything," Merlin admitted softly, not meeting Eggsy's gaze. "I told her everything."

Eggsy sighed, scrunching up his face. "Yeh shouldn't have helped me when Percival was interrogating me." 

Merlin's head snapped up, his eyes filled with disbelief. "And what would you have had me do, then?" He said, outraged. "Would it have been better to let you die?"

"I wouldn't 'ave died, Merlin," Eggsy snapped. "I would've escaped."

"You cannot be sure of that," the magician snapped. "I did what I had to do, Eggsy-"

"Yeh broke protocol, Merlin," Eggsy insisted, not understanding why the man could not see what was right in front of him. 

"And your point is?" The magician growled, annoyed.

Eggsy huffed out a breath in annoyance. "There is a reason for there to be protocol," Eggsy sneered. "There's a reason why a single _expendable_ agent is sent out. Roxy knowin' ain't good, bruv." 

Merlin stood up, taking a deep breath as he turned to look at Eggsy. "And why is that, Eggsy?"

"Because there's nothing she can do!" The younger man exploded, standing up. "I'm a traitor, remember? She's still supposed to hunt me down. They will realize if she doesn't do her job properly. I am not gonna risk Roxy's life, Merlin!"

"And do you think I will?" The man yelled back, giving Eggsy an incredulous look. "She will not find you, Eggsy. I will make sure of it. Her knowing changes nothing."

"And what happens if I die," Eggsy said, his voice small and broken. "What happens when she asks you then, huh?"

Merlin's eyes suddenly softened as he realized where Eggsy's rage was coming from; he was worried about Roxy - just like Merlin had been. 

God, they were both such sentimental fools. No wonder they were here right now, using Ghost protocol of all things. 

Merlin suddenly chuckled, a crazed look in his eyes. He plopped back down on the couch, half laughing, half crying, too tired to even wonder what was happening to him. 

Eggsy looked at the man with wary eyes, not sure whether Merlin needed a good slap or a comforting hug. 

"You know, as touching as it is to know you both worry about me, I'd really appreciate it if you stopped doing that," Roxy said, leaning against the now open door. "I am not made of porcelain, Eggsy. If you die, I will handle it" she spat out, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. She knew she'd be able to handle it, but even the mere thought of Eggsy dying was enough to make her want to cry. "If anyone's going to break it's Harry."

Eggsy's look turned sorrowful, his energy dropping immediately. He looked like a haunted man. "No he won't," Eggsy said, his voice barely above a whisper. "He doesn't know who I am, Rox. To him, I am a traitor; a problem that needs to be taken care of-"

"That's not true," Roxy said immediately, stepping into the room. "You weren't there, Eggsy, when he said we had to kill you," she insisted, gripping Eggsy's arm to make him look at her. "I've never seen him so pained to give an order. Eggsy, Harry cares about you," she said softly. "Maybe not the way he used to, but he still cares."

Eggsy felt something inside him break at Roxy's words. His world turned on its axis for a second time since Harry's accident.

_ What if Roxy was right? What if Harry did care?  _

He felt something akin to hope stir inside of him - a hope that he quickly shoved into the darkest room of his soul and locked the door. There was no point in dreaming about what could be. He didn't have time for that, not right now. He couldn't afford to let himself hope only for that hope to be broken. That would surely kill him, and he couldn't afford to die yet. He needed to stay alive for a little while longer; he needed to make sure Harry would be safe. 

"It doesn't matter anyway" he heard himself say, his voice monotonous and distant. "His memories are gone." 

Roxy frowned. "But, Eggsy-"

"Enough!" Eggsy snapped, a single tear escaping his ironclad control. He hadn't allowed himself to break down since that day at the hospital, for even then he had known that if he let himself cry, he would not be able to stop. He would go mad with the grief that he had so masterfully pushed down, muffled it with the mission at hand. "My husband is gone, Rox, and he's not coming back... it's better this way," Eggsy said, his voice pleading, although he wasn't sure whether he was pleading with Roxy or himself. "He won't have to suffer if something happens."

Roxy staggered back, her face turning as white as chalk. "You're not planning on making it back, are you?"

Eggsy froze, scrambling to keep his expression calm. "Don't be absurd, Rox. Of course I'm planning on making it out of this alive."  

She stared at him for a few moments and then turned to look at Merlin, a look of horror in her eyes. The man sighed, bringing Roxy in for a hug. 

"I won't let him die," he whispered softly enough for only Roxy to hear. 

She breathed in her lover's scent, gripping his shirt like her life depended on it. "Right," she breathed out. 

"I think we've talked enough," Merlin said as he pulled away, turning to look at Eggsy, who was giving him a wary look. "I've decrypted the disk."

Eggsy's brows shot up. "Who is it then?"

"Bedivere, the bastard" grunted Merlin, his eyes turning murderous.  

"Of course it had to be him," Eggsy said, a cruel smile tugging at his lips. "So what's the plan?" 

"We'll wait until the end of the week to do anything," Merlin said, his tone brooking no arguments. "I'd like to give your ribs at least a week of grace to heal a bit. During that week I'll be sending most of the agents on faraway missions. I'll be keeping Lancelot, Bedivere, Gawain, and Percival in areas near London so that it doesn't look suspicious."

Eggsy nodded, sitting back down to not strain himself any further. "What then?"

"You'll meet Bedivere in Kent. I haven't set up an exact location yet, but I'll let you know by tomorrow." Merlin buried his hands deep in his pockets. "After you kill Bedivere, the agents will redouble their efforts to find you, so you'll have to go into hiding until we can figure out a way to get you into the US."

"Was the American's identity on the flash drive?" Eggsy asked, looking between Roxy and Merlin. 

"No, but we have a picture," Merlin said, moving to his desk to pick up his tablet. "The problem is that the picture is either Miller or Wilder, and we can't be sure which one it is." 

Eggsy took the tablet frowning. "What do yeh mean yeh can't be sure?"

"They're twins," explained Merlin coming to stand next to Roxy, draping his arm around her waist. 

"Oh for fuck's sake," growled Eggsy, rolling his eyes. He sighed, sitting back. "Fine, we'll deal with that later, let's just concentrate on Bedivere right now." 

Merlin nodded, his gaze turning wistful. "Roxy made dinner, if you want to-"

"No, but thank yeh," Eggsy said immediately, giving the pair an apologetic smile. "I should get goin'. It's better if we're not in the same place for long periods of time."

Merlin nodded, moving to the side to let Eggsy pass. "Be careful, please." 

"Always am," Eggsy said, giving Merlin a wink and Roxy a kiss on the cheek before stepping out of the house, closing the door behind him. 

Roxy breathed out, looking shaken. "Merlin, we have to tell Harry."

The man froze, giving her an uncomprehending look. "What?"

"Did you not see him?" Roxy pushed, pointing towards the door. "He is not doing well, Merlin. He's lost weight. He hasn't been sleeping. He-"

"Telling Harry won't solve anything." Merlin sighed, moving closer to cradle her head. "Our priority is keeping both of them safe right now."

She said nothing, choosing instead to bury her head in Merlin's chest. 

\--------------

Bedivere sat on his study, looking at the window with unseeing eyes, the darkness of the room engulfing him completely. He turned off the monitor that had the feed showing Merlin's living room on it. 

So they had finally figured it out. He had wondered why Eggsy had been in the US, not truly believing the ruse that he was a traitor. It felt good to know he had been right: Eggsy was still loyal to Harry, no matter the cost. 

He chuckled softly, the sound cold and cruel. He had wanted to spare the young man, hoping that he would prove to be an asset later, but it was clear to him now that he had been wrong. Eggsy would never be loyal to him, not even if Harry was buried six feet under. 

_What a shame_. 

He picked up the phone, smiling as he heard a soft "Hello?" 

"My dear Gawain, I need your help," Bedivere said amicably. "I believe I've found Unwin, but I'd rather we pair up."

"How come?"The man asked, intrigued.

"Well Arthur sent the order to end him. I'd rather not let him escape," Bedivere said smoothly, his smile widening when Gawain signed resignedly. 

"Very well then, send me the information and I'll meet you later."

"Much appreciated, my friend," Besivere murmured distantly, bringing a glass of scotch up to his lips. 

_Oh, the former Galahad was in for quite a surprise_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd CLIFFHANGER
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one!


	24. Trump Card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no such thing as a fair fight. All vulnerabilities must be exploited.”  
> – Cary Caffrey

_Eggsy ran across the rooftop, jumping off the ledge to land on the next building. He crouched low on his feet as he ran towards the nearest wall, taking cover from the incoming fire._

_He raised himself slightly from where he was hiding, shooting the man closest to him thrice; once on the leg and twice on the chest. The man fell like an awkward puppet, screaming in pain as he hit the ground._

_Eggsy swallowed hard, shooting the next one down with the same ease. He cursed under his breath as the click of his gun told him that he was out of ammo._

_"Gawain?" He murmured softly, sounding slightly distressed. "I could use a hand, mate."_

_"I know that, Galahad," the man said with a hint of annoyance. "Give me a moment."_

_Eggsy sighed. He had never particularly enjoyed working with Gawain. The man was a sweetheart whenever they weren't on the field and Eggsy had no problems seeing the man around HQ. In fact, he rather enjoyed it as the man always had some sweet treat stashed away for Eggsy, but he became a pain in the ass whenever he was assigned a mission._

_Gawain was one of the most meticulous and precise agents they had, which was exactly why they mostly sent him on missions that either required deep cover infiltrations or the type of hit and run assassinations that required months of preparation._

_In other words, he was the opposite of Eggsy, which was exactly why Merlin had paired them up for this particular mission. It was Merlin's way of exacting revenge on Eggsy for keeping his glasses on one too many times when Harry enthusiastically fucked him in his office._

_"Don't move, Galahad," Gawain said softly as he finished adjusting his sniper rifle. He crouched low, smiling softly as he took aim. "It'll only be a minute longer."_

_Eggsy sighed, closing his eyes as he decided to trust the man's judgment. Hopefully Gawain's fear of Harry's wrath was strong enough to be a good incentive to want to keep Eggsy alive._

_"Alright, you can open you eyes now," Gawain said after a few minutes of shooting, a hint of humor in his voice._

_Eggsy stood up, his umbrella at the ready, unable to keep himself from gaping. The rooftop was filled with at least twenty bodies, all sprawled on the ground, most sporting head shots or heart shots._

_Fuck, the man was good._

_Eggsy made a mental note to never upset Gawain, especially if the man had access to a high caliber sniper rifle._

_"The mission has been completed, Merlin," the man said, sounding bored. "We need a clean up team."_

_"I have one en route," the magician murmured. "Report to your extraction point as soon as possible."_

_Gawain nodded. "Did you hear that, Galahad? You better hurry, boy."_

_Eggsy frowned, glaring at a faraway roof which he assumed was the one Gawain had chosen for this particular mission. "I bet I can get to the extraction point faster than yeh, old man."_

_Gawain's brows shot up, a soft laugh escaping him. "You cheeky bastard." He smiled again, picking up his sniper rifle to pack it away. "You're on, Galahad."_

* * *

Bedivere stepped into the small building, his gun ready at his side. He scanned the seemingly empty room, smiling darkly as he moved to hide near the doorway that led to the living room.

He had been rather surprised when Merlin had sent him the mission details; he hadn't expected the magician to choose a civilian's apartment.

He supposed it gave Eggsy some advantage to be inside the house; there were more rooms to hide in and enough furniture to serve him as surfaces for any parkour tricks he may want to use.

Still, if Percival's report was right, then Eggsy was already injured, which meant that it did not matter where they were; the younger agent wasn't in top form.

It was actually a bit insulting that they had sent the fool to kill Bedivere when they all knew the younger man was already injured. But it mattered not; the only thing that mattered at this point was finishing the job as quickly as possible.

Bedivere moved to the window, opening it loudly to let Eggsy know exactly where he was. If the boy wanted to fight him, then he'd have to do it in Bedivere's terms. The man quickly swung a leg over the window, supporting himself on the emergency ladder as he stood up, swinging his other leg out the window. He fixed his trousers and his coat, quickly trotting up the stairs. He reached the rooftop, smiling softly as he looked around. There were a few houses scattered around the two story building they were currently at. A tall church stood to the side, the rooftop where Bedivere stood the perfect place to take a good look at the tall bell tower.

It was _perfect_.

Bedivere took a deep breath, letting the soft breeze caress his face. He took off his glasses and his comm unit, knowing that Gawain would not need him to set up. Besides, the conversation he was about to have was not for the other man's ears, unless of course he wanted to die.

Bedivere heard the soft thud of feet hitting the floor near the emergency stairs and he smiled. He whirled around, raising his gun as he came face to face with an angry looking Eggsy Unwin.

"What a pleasure to see you again, Galahad," the man drawled out in a sarcastic tone.

"Not Galahad," Eggsy said simply with his own gun raised.

"No, that's right, you quit," the man said with contempt. "Did Merlin tell you that Harry sped up the selection process? There are only four candidates left."

"Harry only did that because he was hoping we'd be able to have a new Galahad by the time of the succession ceremony," Merlin said quickly in Eggsy's ear. "He's just taunting you, Eggsy."

Eggsy said nothing. 

"I must say," the man said with a tilt of his head. "The past couple of months haven't been kind to you, Eggsy." The man gave him a toothy smile. "I guess I'm partially to blame for that."

Eggsy remained silent for a moment, thrown by Bedivere's comment. Had the man just admitted to his betrayal? But why would he do that? The man knew very well that the glasses recording everything. 

"Yeh ain't wearin' your glasses," Eggsy blurted out, half surprised at himself for not having realized sooner. Well, they still had his own. 

"I wanted to be able to chat with you freely." The man chuckled softly at Eggsy's confused expression. "Your glasses aren't recording either, boy. I made sure of that."

Eggsy kept his face expressionless as Merlin murmured. "He jammed the system. He's right; it won't record anything."

"You know I'm rather surprised Merlin is using you. I would have expected him to have a bit more respect for his friend's marriage."

Eggsy clicked his jaw, his eyes zeroing in on the man. "I don't know what the hell you're on about."

"Oh please," the man scoffed. "Cut me the bullshit, Eggsy. I knew Merlin would try to figure out what had happened with Harry. Did you two really think I wasn't going to take preemptive measures? I've had Merlin's flat under surveillance for the past month. I knew _exactly_ why he sent me here today."

"And yet yeh still came," Eggsy noted, taking a step forward.

The man shrugged. "You were becoming an inconvenience I won't have the time to deal with later. Besides, you're hurt boy. Do you really think you can take me on?"

"Yes" Eggsy deadpanned, his face absolutely calm even though he knew he was fucked. He had really been counting on the element of surprise.

The man laughed, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "You foolish boy," Bedivere quipped.

"Do yeh honestly think I am gonna let yeh kill me? Yeh will pay for what yeh did to Harry, Bedivere," Eggsy snarled.

The man shrugged. "That wasn't actually that personal, Eggsy. I did what I had to do. Harry was supposed to die that day," the man admitted. "Still, him losing his memory was an unexpected blessing in disguise."

Eggsy frowned. "What do yeh mean?"

Bedivere cocked his head to the side. "And why would I tell you of all people?"

"Well if yeh are so sure yeh are gonna kill me, then don't I at least deserve to know why yeh are still tryin' to kill my husband?" Eggsy said, his voics trembling with anger.

"Because he's weak," Bedivere snapped. "He doesn't deserve to bear the mantel of Arthur. He has become too careless, too docile because of you. Ten years ago, Harry would have _never_ been caught unawares by a bomb." The man began pacing, his eyes filled with rage. "Kingsman deserves better than that-"

"And yeh are better?" Eggsy growled, his eyes flashing with rage. "Kingsman has flourished under Harry, yeh ingrate. There has never been a better Arthur."

The man seemed ready to kill Eggsy. "He's a love-sick fool. A queer. He shames the name of Kingsman!"

Eggsy froze, his face contorting with a rage very few people had seen; all of whom were now dead. "So that's it, then? Yeh attacked Harry just cause he was with me? You sick fuck."

Bedivere chuckled. "I have many reasons to want him gone, you foolish boy. In any case, this is all besides the point. You will be dead soon enough and I can finally go get ready to go to Washington."

"Washington, eh? Why, yeh want to kill all the "queers" there too?" Eggsy said, his tone cold.

"No, I am just going to sit back and watch the show," Bedivere said with a crazed smile.

Eggsy's eyes lit up with understanding.

_The annual Kingsman meeting of the american branch._

Something was going to happen at that party.

Eggsy suddenly rolled forward, sure that he had gotten everything he needed out of Bedivere. He landed on his feet, shooting twice before rolling out of the way again. He hid behind a wall, four bullets flying past him.

"You are going to run out of bullets soon enough," Bedivere called out, "and so am I."

"Got a better plan, bruv?" Eggsy barked out.

"We'll both drop our weapons. We'll do this like men," Bedivere murmured. He just needed to get Eggsy to come out so Gawain could take the shot. 

Eggsy scoffed, but said "fine, on my count then; one, two, three." He stood up and watched as Bedivere threw his weapon over the edge of the rooftop. He mimicked the man's movements, coming out of his hiding spot.

"That's better," Bedivere said softly as he lunged forward, his movements reminding Eggsy of a snake when it strikes.

 _He had Eggsy right where he wanted him now._  

The younger man moved out of the way, stopping Bedivere's punch by grabbig the man's wrist and twisting. The man went with the movement jumping in the air to rid himself of Eggsy's hold. He jumped again, throwing a kick to Eggsy's jaw, which the younger man deflected just barely.

Eggsy moved in closer, throwing a jab uppercut as Bedivere jumped backwards, groaning as Eggsy's fist made contact with his stomach. He grabbed Eggsy by the arm and pulled him closer, kneeing him in the stomach.

Eggsy grunted, breaking the man's hold only to find himself being flung to the floor. He braced the fall with his hands, rolling to the side as Bedivere threw a low kick at him.

Eggsy quickly pushed himself back up to his feet, snarling at Bedivere. He would not let the man win this fight. He surged forward, grabbing him by the shoulders as he pushed them both to the ground, sure that he had just further aggravated his injury.

Still, the morphine he had used right before coming prevented the pain from stopping him as he immediately stood up, only to be pulled back down by Bedivere who grabbed him in a thigh chokehold. The man let Eggsy go only to straddle his chest, his strong legs preventing Eggsy from moving. He punched Eggsy thrice, each time hitting with more force.

Eggsy grabbed the man's hand on the fourth punch, throwing him off balance. He pushed himself up with his legs, sending Bedivere flying off to the ground. He picked up the man by the collar of his shirt and pinned him to the wall.

He punched him hard enough to break his jaw, which sent a thrill of satisfaction up Eggsy's spine.

Suddenly the sound of a gunshot reached his ears and a hellish pain soared through Eggsy as he felt the skin of his shoulder rip apart. He groaned in pain but pushed forward, pulling out a poison laced knife from his sleeve which he used to stab Bedivere in the gut.

He staggered backwards as the other man spluttered blood, clearly not expecting the move. If there was one Kingsman that had always been honorable when fighting, it had been Eggsy. Attacking an enemy like he had just done would have sounded despicable to the younger man just a few months ago.

 _How the times change_.

He gave Eggsy one last hate-filled look before his eyes rolled back, his numb body falling backwards. Another shot rang and Eggsy cried out in pain, looking down to see his own blood quickly spreading through his shirt.

Eggsy fell to the ground as he dragged himself to the emergency stairs, not looking back. There were only two people that would spare him with a rifle gun in their hands and that was Percival and Gawain; he wasn't about to risk his luck any further. They may care for him, but there were only so many times they would spare him.

"Oh my god, Eggsy!" Merlin cried out. "Hang on, I'll send someone to-"

"You will do no such thing," Eggsy growled as he reached the apartment door, feeling weaker and weaker by the second. "Follow the goddamn protocol, Merlin."

"The mission is over, you foolish boy!" Merlin growled as he bit back the tears.

"No it isn't. Harry isn't safe yet." Eggsy fell to the ground as his legs were too weak to continue supporting him. "The mole in the American branch is still alive, and I'm the only one that can get into that party on time."

"What the hell are you on about?" Merlin said, annoyed.

Eggsy dragged himself to where the briefcase he had brought with him had fallen, pulling out an adrenaline shot. He pulled out the syringe with trembling fingers, his vision turning black at the edges.

He stabbed himself with the now dirtied syringe with more force than necessary, feeling the adrenaline in his veins immediately. He felt his heart beat faster and his vision clear - if only slightly.

"Safe home, Merlin. Get me to a safe home," Eggsy panted as he staggered out of the house.

"There's a hospital 3 blocks away" the man said frantically. "Lancelot are you ready?"

Eggsy paused for a second as he exited the building, swaying from side to side as he looked with disbelief at the black car waiting for him.

"Hurry the fuck up, Eggsy," Roxy snapped, her eyes filled with concern.

The younger man smiled at her faintly, staggering to the door of the car, before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> I guess I should warn you; next chapter is going to be quite a ride.


	25. Where are the pictures uncle Harry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forget the names because names lie but remember me because when you look at me I remember myself.  
> Remember me because I will never forget you.  
> \- Jordan Weisman

_Harry looked at the young girl sitting in front of him, her blond, curly hair bouncing as she moved from side to side. She was humming something Harry couldn’t quite make out, but he enjoyed it all the same._

_He picked up his cup of tea, winking at her when she looked up at him, her mouth full of food. He had always found it adorable when she ate. There was something indescribably cute about seeing Daisy’s cheeks puff up because they were filled with whatever it was she was eating._

_She grinned at him once she swallowed, tilting her head to the side. “Are you gonna play tea time with me uncle Harry?” She said, her tone very serious._

_“Of course, my princess. We’ll play once you finish dinner,” Harry said, reaching forward to ruffle her long hair._

_The young girl smiled again, stuffing her mouth with food. She chewed furiously, clearly hell bent on finishing her plate in record time_  

_Harry tsked, giving her a fond but cautioning glance. “We won’t be playing much of anything if you choke, my dear.” He sat back, smiling softly. “We have time, princess, you don’t need to rush.”_

_Daisy sighed but obeyed, taking her time to eat the remainder of her food. She jumped off of her seat as soon as she was done, taking the plate with her to the sink._

_“Why don’t you go and set up tea, love? I’ll wash the dishes in the meantime,” Harry said softly, coming to stand next to the young girl._

_Daisy loved setting up for “tea”. She would bring down all of her stuffed toys and would sit them down at the small table Merlin had personally built for her at Eggsy’s request. The table, which was big enough to fit every single damn bear and pony, plus daisy, Harry and Eggsy - if they sat on the floor, of course - now occupied the better part of Harry’s living room. They had had to strike his old table in favor of Daisy’s tea table._

_It had been a bit of a shock, if he was honest, to wake up one morning only to find Eggsy, Daisy, Merlin, and Roxy sitting by a table he had never laid eyes on. It was even more of a shock when he had realized he didn’t mind it one bit. The last table might have been his grandfather’s, but this one was Daisy’s and her smile made it worth it._

_“okay, uncle Harry,” She murmured, all but bouncing out of the room with excitement._

_Harry chuckled softly, shaking his head minutely. He slipped on his yellow gloves and set to work, smiling as he felt his glasses vibrate softly, letting him know he was being connected to a call._

_“Hey luv”, Eggsy whispered, his voice filled with warmth. Harry could practically feel his smug smile._

_“How are you, my darling?” Harry said, knowing he probably sounded like the fool in love he was._

_“I’m okay,” Eggsy said before yawning. “A bit knackered, if I’m honest. Stockholm is cold as fuck,” he quipped._

_Harry chuckled, opening the water faucet. “Well, it is winter after all, darling.”_

_“I know, but still,” Eggsy said with a grunt. “I miss ya.”_

_“And I you,” Harry said ever so softly, his voice like a caress._

_“I’ll be back on Saturday,” Eggsy said, biting his lip. “I thought we could maybe ‘ave a day for us, ya know?”_

_Harry smiled as he finished washing the dishes, picking up a red towel from the counter. “Well I am looking forward to that,” the said in a low voice, a promise hidden in his words. He dried the dishes methodically, not wasting time. “Now, as much as I love hearing your voice, I have to go play with Daisy.”_

_Eggsy sat up, a smile blooming on his face. “She’s stayin’ with yeh today?”_

_“Yes, Michelle dropped her off this morning. She’ll be staying for two days,” Harry said as he walked to the light switch to turn the kitchen lights off._

_“But don’t yeh ‘ave work?” Eggsy asked, a small frown Harry couldn’t see covering his features._

_“I’m working from home,” he admitted. “Your mother called Merlin and convinced him to let me work from home.”_

_Eggsy burst out laughing, saying in between bouts of laughter “Oh my god, what did mum say?”_

_“I have no idea. I just know your mother managed to make Merlin give in,” Harry said as he came into the living room. “Alright love, our princess is glaring at me because she’s ready and I haven’t sat down yet.”_

_Eggsy chuckled again. “Go, go. I love yeh babe.”_

_“I love you too,” Harry whispered as he took off his glasses, tucking them carefully into his breast pocket. He sat down on the floor, crossing his legs in one fluid motion._

_Daisy moved closer, pretending to serve him his tea, just like she had done with every single teddy bear. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for his verdict._

_Harry picked up the cup, his face as serious as ever as he brought the cup to his lips. He pretended to take a sip and then put the cup back down, looking at Daisy straight in the eye. “Perfect, as usual.”_

_The girl grinned, leaning forward to place a wet kiss on Harry’s cheek, moving away to sit on a small chair on the other end of the table. She began chatting with her favorite teddy bear, content to let Harry sit there and watch them._  

_Harry smiled, hiding said smile with the plastic, purple cup he held in his hands._

_He still had no idea how Michelle had convinced Merlin, but he was certainly glad he got to spend more time with the brilliant little girl who had stolen what was left of his heart after Eggsy had settled there._

* * *

_Eggsy looked back at Harry, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Yeh a’right there babe?”_

_Harry looked up at the bare chested, younger man, smiling as Eggsy crouched in front of him. He had never been one to take trips to the beach, but that had definitely changed with Eggsy. It was one of his secret pleasures to come to the beach now, for he got to see Eggsy partially naked and wet, not to mention that radiant smile he always wore when they were near the sea._  

_It was riveting to watch._

_“Where’s Daisy?” He said immediately, noticing that the little one wasn’t behind him._

_“She's with Rox and Merlin. They stayed with her so I could convince yeh to come swim with us,” Eggsy said, his eyes twinkling with mirth._  

_Harry crinkled his nose, giving a resigned sigh before standing up. “Alright, fine, but only because of Daisy,” Harry said in a petulant tone._

_Eggsy chuckled, draping his arm around Harry’s waist as they began making their way to the seashore. “Whatever yeh say, babe.”_

 

Harry jolted awake, his brow creased with sweat. These damned dreams were starting to become tiresome. It was like Eggsy had etched onto his very soul and he couldn’t let go. It was painful.  With every new dream Harry liked the man more and more, which was simply ludicrous considering they were just _dreams._ He was allowing himself to be compromised by fucking dreams that had no hold on reality. 

By god, Eggsy had bewitched him and Harry had no bloody clue how to get rid of the ever growing feelings he had for him. It was ridiculous, really; he wasn’t even seeing Eggsy on a regular basis anymore! Harry hardly knew him.

And yet here they were. It was truly pathetic.  

He felt his body tense at the sound of the doorbell. He looked back at the clock sitting on the nightstand; it was not even six yet. 

_Who the hell could it be?_

Harry opened his bedside drawer, pressing his thumb against the bottom of the drawer. A small compartment opened, revealing inside a black, slick gun which Harry proceeded to pick up. He got out of bed, clicking the safety off as he walked down the staircase. 

He opened the door slightly, hiding his gun by holding it with the hand that was still hidden behind the door. He frowned as he came face to face with a blonde girl who was no more than ten years old. She had kind eyes, and- for some reason - she reminded Harry of Eggsy. 

She smiled shyly at him, noticing Harry’s strange behavior. “Are you a’right, uncle Harry?”

Harry felt his throat go dry. “Pardon?” 

“Are you a’right?” The girl repeated, tilting her head to the side. “Mum said you were sick so that’s why we couldn’t come visit ya, but It’s been three months so I figured…” Her voice died down as she shrugged, gazing at the floor. “I just wanted to make sure you were a’right.”

Harry tried to rake his brain for any information on the pretty girl standing in front of him, but he was drawing blanks. He didn’t know her, but she obviously knew him or, at least, she knew his name. 

_Could she have been sent to kill him?_

“I’m quite alright… dear,” he said hesitantly, not sure what else to call her. 

She suddenly grinned at him, pushing past him as if she owned the place. Harry moved to the side, putting his gun in the pocket of his robe. He figured it wasn’t the best idea to have a gun around a child. He would only pull it out if she made a move to kill. 

God, he really hoped she wasn’t here for that. He wasn’t sure he could ever stomach killing a child, no matter the reason. Everyone had their limits - children were Harry’s. 

“So if you are okay now, then why haven’t you come over?” She said, her tone accusing. She made her way to the kitchen, jumping onto the counter to grab a glass. She jumped back down with practiced ease, moving to the fridge to get water. 

Harry immediately moved to help her, noticing the fact that the girl knew where he kept the glasses, not to mention the fact that she had known exactly how to reach them considering her height, which meant she had been here before - _many times_ before. 

_Who the hell was she?_

“I’m afraid I’ve been busy,” he said smoothly, hoping that she would reveal more without noticing that Harry had no bloody clue what they were talking about. 

“So busy that you missed my birthday?” She said, looking at him dubiously. “you’ve never been too busy for my birthday. You promised you’d always come and you broke your promise.” She looked like she was about to cry. 

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, feeling a pang of guilt. “I-“

“Eggsy didn’t come either,” she whispered, her gaze downcast. “Do ya both not love me anymore?”

Harry’s eyes widened at the mention of Eggsy’s name, but he forced himself to remain calm. It was enough for one of the two to be panicking. “Of course we do… darling. Eggsy loves you very much,” He said with as much honesty as he could muster.  

“Where’s Eggsy?” She said suddenly, walking out of the kitchen, clearly looking for the younger man. 

“He’s not here, dear,” Harry said, following the girl as she walked into his room. 

_How the hell did she know where his room was, and why had she gone there to look?_

“Where is he?” She asked again, whirling around to face Harry. 

“I’m afraid he’s…. away.” Harry swallowed hard as he looked away. “He had work to do."

She frowned, looking upset. “When is he comin’ back?” 

Harry remained silent for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. “I’m not sure,” he whispered honestly, not daring to lie to the child. 

She sighed coming closer to Harry. She leaned against the man, wrapping her hands around his waist. “Well ya both have to make it up to me once he’s back ‘cause you didn’t come to my birthday.” 

“Of course dear,” Harry said immediately, still too stunned by the fact that the girl was _hugging_ him.

She let go after a few seconds, walking back down to the living room. She froze in place as she looked towards the living room, her eyes filled with horror. 

“Where’s my table?” She shrieked, turning back to look at Harry. 

The man rushed to her side, more confused that before. “What are you talking about?”

“My table!” She said, pointing at Harry’s table. “It’s not here. It was here last time I came to visit.” She suddenly ran towards a black cabinet that Harry still couldn’t remember buying andopened it. She gasped, stumbling backwards. “My toys… they’re not here.” 

Harry gaped at her, feeling dizzy. “I-“

She turned to face the wall, her eyes filled with confusion and heartbreak. “Where are the pictures, uncle Harry?”

“What pictures?” The man replied, coming to stand next to the girl. “I don’t know what you are taking about, my dear girl.” 

“Stop joking, uncle Harry!” She said as she crossed her arms. “I’m serious. Where’s everythin’?” 

“I don’t know. I didn’t move anything,” he said, looking down at her with clenched hands. He was getting dizzier and dizzier by the second. 

She chewed on her lip, looking back at the wall. “I’m gonna check the basement,” she said, a determinate look on her face. 

The man frowned. “I don’t keep anything in that basement. You’ll just waste your time.”

The girl gave him an annoyed look, clearly not understanding why Harry was being so difficult. It was very unlike him. “Eggsy keeps everythin’ in the basement.” 

And with that she left the room, quickly making her way to the door next to the kitchen that led to the basement. Harry followed her, feeling his skin crawl as they went down the steps.

He _hated_ basements.

The little girl ran in the darkness, hitting the light switch as if she did it everyday. Harry blinked a few times as he adjusted to the sudden light, feeling a knot form in his throat at the sight of at least six big, black bags and a huge wooden table. 

“There’s my table!” She exclaimed, pointing at the colossal table that was pressed against the farthest wall. 

Harry walked past her, crouching low to open the first bag. He took a deep breath before plunging in his hand, grabbing the first thing he could feel. 

He pulled out a plushy teddy bear, which elicited a squeal from the little girl. 

“Mr. Todd," she cooed as she picked him up. “I haven’t seen ya in ages.” 

Harry couldn’t help but smile at her excitement. He moved on to the next bag, not particularly wanting to go through every toy the girl owned 

He also did not want to think about _why_ he had her toys in his house. He opened the next bag, pulling out a picture frame. He held it towards the light to properly look at it, holding back a gasp when he took in the picture.

In it, he was holding in his arms the same little girl standing next to him, though she looked at least three years younger. She was wearing a white tutu and a dazzling tiara, and Harry looked so… _proud._  

He pulled out the next picture frame frantically, looking at it with the same awed expression as he had the previous one.

It was a shot of Eggsy and the little girl wearing their respective pajamas, both laying in Harry’s bed. 

He continued to pull pictures, his mind whirling out of control as he looked at each picture.

There was one of Roxy, Merlin, Eggsy, and himself at a restaurant, the younger man looking at Harry with loving eyes.

There was one of Harry asleep, his face buried in the pillows. 

There was another of Eggsy and himself in a park, the younger man reclined against Harry’s broad chest. Harry had never seen a picture of himself where he smiled so… openly before. 

Harry paused for a second, his hands trembling as he took out a simple picture frame which contained a picture of Eggsy kissing him, the eiffel tower standing proud behind them. 

He pulled out the next picture, gasping softly as the image of Eggsy and him cutting a _wedding_ cake, wearing matching golden bands, seared his brain.

By god, he was _married_ to Eggsy.  

He pulled out three more picture frames. The first a picture of Harry, Eggsy, and Merlin, all smiling broadly at the camera. The second was a picture of Eggsy and a small pug which Harry had never seen before. The last picture was another one of the wedding; Harry was holding Eggsy in his arms, cradling his cheek with one hand. 

Harry felt tear swellup in his eyes. He looked _so in love,_ and yet he couldn’t remember any of it. 

They were just pictures that made no sense in his jumbled mind. There were stories behind them that he could only hope to guess. He had been happy, and he _couldn’t fucking remember._

Harry wiped his eyes, breathing in slowly. He couldn’t bear to look at any more pictures. He let go of the bag, trying to control the trembling of his hands. He looked back at the girl that was looking at him with concerned eyes, looking paler than before. He gave her a small, comforting smile, pulling her closer to kiss her forehead. 

He may not be able to remember her, but he wasn’t going to let the sweet child become scared because of him. 

“Darling, I’m afraid I need to take you home. There’s someone I need to talk to right now,” he said carefully. 

She sighed but nodded. “I can get home on my own.” 

“Don’t even think about it,” Harry said seriously.

She shook her head. “Uncle Harry, I live down the block. Nothin' is gonna happen to me.”

“I’d still much prefer to see that you get home to your parents safely,” He murmured as he stood up 

Her eyes widened as she shook her head. “My mum doesn’t know I’m here. She forbade me to come, remember?”

“Oh, lord,” Harry sighed. He really didn’t have time for this. He needed to hunt down Merlin to extract the truth from the bastard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite chapters to write. 
> 
> btw, the first part is not a dream, but a flashback. The second one (the one at the beach) is a dream thus that is the one Harry remembers, not the first one. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	26. Where is Eggsy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seal my heart and break my pride  
> I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide  
> Align my heart, my body, my mind  
> To face what I've done and do my time  
> \- Dust Bowl Dance by Mumford & Sons

Harry knocked on the front door, squeezing the scared looking young girl’s hand to reassure her. He allowed her to partially hide behind him as the door opened to reveal a barely awake looking Michelle.

The woman froze, looking extremely confused to see her son's husband there. “‘arry?”

A sudden sense of dread filled him as the memory of seeing Michelle cry at the news of her husband’s death hit him like a freight train. He held back a gasp, reeling backwards as if expecting a blow. 

It took him a moment too long to realize she wasn’t about to strike.

_But why was she reacting so calmly at seeing Harry?_

He mentally slapped himself as everything clicked into place; She was Eggsy’s mother - his husband's mother. He may not remember seeing her again after that eventful night, but she remembered him; this wasn’t the first time she saw him since that day where he had come to tell her her husband was dead.

“Uh, Mrs. Unwin,” He said, stepping slightly away from the door to reveal the little girl whose name he still didn’t know. “I’m sorry for waking you up, but I’m afraid I couldn’t bring your daughter with me.”

“Daisy!” She yelped, her eyes turning furious. “How did ya - Where did ya-”

_So this was the Daisy he and Eggsy had been talking about in his dream… was he to assume then that every dream he had had of the younger man was real?_

“She came to my house to see me this morning,” Harry explained, giving the woman a small smile. “She was worried given that, ah, well, I haven’t visited lately.”

Michelle remained silent for a moment, gauging Harry. His eyes showed none of the usual warmth; there was only apprehension and discomfort. The friendly, loving, almost mischievous, smile he alway regarded Daisy with was nowhere in sight. And his posture - usually relaxed and open - was stiff and too carefully calculated, as if still testing the waters.

_So he still couldn’t remember anything._

Michelle sighed, giving him a pitying look before opening the door fully. “Daisy go back to yer room and go to bed. Yeh still ‘ave a few hours before yeh hafta get up.”

The girl’s face fell. “But mum-”

“To bed, Daisy, _now_ ,” Michelle said, her tone leaving no room for arguments.

The girl sighed and turned to face Harry. “Do you promise to come visit me soon?”

Harry felt the impulse to crouch and kiss her forehead, to reassure her that everything would be fine, but he could do neither of those things. Instead, he smiled at her and nodded. “I promise, miss Daisy.”

That seemed to satisfy the girl for she smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his middle, squeezing him tightly. “I love ya, uncle Harry.”

Harry felt his throat clamp up and he looked away. _How could he have forgotten such a wonderful child?_

“I love you too, darling,” Harry said softly, patting her head with an unsure hand.

Daisy gave him one last smile before running inside, leaving Michelle and Harry alone. The man looked at Michelle, trying to keep a calm expression on his face.

“Would yeh like to come in and ‘ave a cuppa?” Michelle said, giving him a half smile as she stepped aside to let Harry in.

Harry opened his mouth and closed it again. While he really wanted to go talk to Merlin, he couldn’t exactly say no to Eggsy’s mother, not without being incredibly rude. “Of course,” he finally murmured, giving her a tense smile as he stepped inside.

She closed the door behind Harry, quickly walking to the kitchen, followed by Harry. She pointed towards a small table that sat to the side, inside the spacious kitchen. Harry gave her a courteous nod and moved to sit, watching as Michelle put water in the kettle to boil.

She moved to sit down, sighing softly before murmuring. “So what do yeh know or remember?” She stifled a laugh at Harry’s surprised expression. The man had probably been expecting her to keep to small talk or mindless topics neither of them had any interest in. Well he was about to relearn something important about Michelle - she liked to speak honestly and to the point.

“I don’t really... remember anything,” Harry admitted softly. “A few memories here and there that come to me when I’m asleep…” Harry sighed and rubbed her eyes. “It’s like they are all there just out of reach… Seeing the pictures helped though” the man said, a tinge of hope in his voice.

“What pictures?” Michelle said instantly, frowning.

“Your daughter and I found an assortment of things in the basement,” Harry murmured as he leaned back. “Among those things, we found pictures of me and Eggsy… together.”

Michelle nodded, hearing the unspoken question loud and clear. “I guess he left ‘em there before yeh got out of the hospital.”

Harry nodded, licking his lips before saying. “Mrs. Unwin-"

"Michelle," she said quickly. "Yeh always call me Michelle," she explain.

Harry swallowed, and then murmured. "Michelle, please, I need to know what-”

“Yeh got married to my boy five years ago,” she said, looking at Harry straight in the eye. “Yeh’ve been together for almost six years, now.”

Harry swallowed hard, feeling his throat go bone dry and his palms itch.

Six years. He had been with the lovely young man for six years. By god, but then why had Eggsy betrayed them?

_Had he even betrayed them? Why had he left?_

“Did you see him before he-” Harry’s voice dropped gradually, leaving his sentence half finished as he had no idea how to proceed. Michelle was not a suspect. He had no right to treat his mother-in-law like that.

_Christ, Michelle was his mother-in-law._ _Fucking, buggering, hell._

“He came to see me right before he left,” She admitted, jumping on her seat as the kettle rang softly once the water boiled. She stood up, bringing two teacups with her. She poured the tea slowly, her hands slightly shaky.

She sat back down, not picking up her cup. She played with the handle, looking down as she murmured “he said that he had to go on a mission that would take him a while.” She laughed bitterly, finally looking up at Harry with wounded eyes. “But we both knew that he was really ‘ere to say goodbye.”

Harry gasped, feeling bile rise in his throat. “Did he say why or where he was going?” He stood up with half a mind to just bolt and go look for Eggsy himself.

“He said he had to protect yeh,” Michelle said softly as tears gathered on the corner of her eyes. “Said he had to save yer life.”

Harry’s face scrunched up in confusion, feeling his heart throb with pain.

_Protect him from what? What was happening? What had been so important that he had had to leave? Why would he leave Kingsman if his purpose was to protect Harry?_

Harry stifled a frustrated groan. Why was it that every time he came closer to the truth only more questions popped up? Nothing made sense, and yet the knowledge that Eggsy had left to protect him when he had done nothing but hurt the young man was enough to make him want to tear his skin off.

He had never felt this dirty.

If something happened to the younger man… he would have Eggsy’s blood in his hands.

“‘arry, are yeh a’right?” Michelle said, wiping the tears off her face, looking at the man with concern.

Harry suddenly bolted out of the room with no more than a choked off “I’m sorry.” He opened the door and stepped outside, not able to look back at the house. He couldn’t do this. He just couldn’t.

He needed answers. Full answers. And only Merlin could give him that.

——————————————-

Harry reached HQ half an hour later, after tracking Merlin down with his glasses. He walked down the largely empty hallways with a cold determination that was probably visible on his face for people parted the way for him, looking at Harry with a hint of fear in their eyes.

The man ignored them all as he walked to the magician’s office. He opened the door without knocking, slamming it shut as soon as he was inside. The Magician whirled around, looking startled. Roxy, who was in the office with him, her suit jacket bloodied, visibly swallowed.

“I’ll give you two a minute,” she said immediately, squeezing Merlin’s arm before shuffling out of the room quickly, looking ghastly pale.

Harry tracked her movements, a worried frown settling on his face; he was sure that that had not been her own blood on the suit jacket.

“What can I do for you, Harry?” Merlin murmured, his tone cold and detached.

Harry looked back at him, a low fire burning in his eyes. “Why did Eggsy leave, Merlin?”

The magician’s brows shot up. “Why would I know that?"

“Because you keep lying to me!” Harry snapped. “When were you going to tell me that Eggsy was my bloody husband, huh?”

Merlin looked even more surprised than before. “Did you remember-”

“No, Merlin, I found the pictures,” Harry admitted with a hint of despair in his voice.

“Pictures? What pictures?” The magician said softly, feeling his skin tingle uncomfortably as his mind raced out of control.

How the hell had Harry found the pictures? Eggsy had assured him that he had cleaned the house and had taken everything out. He and Roxy had spent an entire day at the house. Merlin’s eyes narrowed, his eyes seeing nothing.

_Eggsy had lied to him, and Roxy had known._

_He would need to have a chat with the woman later._

“Does that even matter? I know now, and I want to know why you kept that from me,” Harry said, looking straight at Merlin, his voice trembling just slightly.

The magician sighed. “Harry-“

“The truth, Merlin. I want the _truth_ ,” Harry said sharply. “I know you probably hate me, Merlin, and you have every right to not speak to me outside of work ever again, but for the sake of those thirty years of friendship just tell me the truth,” Harry pleaded, feeling his heart rip anew at the mere thought of losing Merlin’s constant friendship.

He knew it was childish of him to mourn such a thing. It wasn’t like he could do anything about it to salvage the relationship at this point, - what was done was done - so dwelling on things of the past was inconsequential, but still, he couldn’t help his heart from hurting.

Merlin reeled backwards, looking like he had been slapped. “Hate you? Harry-”

Harry waved his hand, a flash of resigned pain crossing his features. “The truth, Merlin, please. Why did Eggsy leave?”

Merlin looked at the floor, a conflicted expression on his face. The doctor had told him not to say anything, but honestly, the man apparently knew the truth already, so would it really hurt?

If something did happen to Eggsy though… Was it worth it to tell Harry the truth? Was there any way to spare his friend the pain?

“Merlin-”

_Oh, fuck it._

“There was a mole, Harry, that tried to kill you. That first bombing was planted by someone from the inside,” Merlin said defeatedly. “When we realized there was a mole, Eggsy became frantic. It was obvious that they were going to strike again and-“ Merlin swallowed hard, not daring to look at Harry. “We needed to find a way to find out who the mole was without the mole realizing we were after him.”

Harry felt his hands tingle painfully as his stomach dropped. He had a bad feeling about where the story was going.

“Eggsy decided that the best way to find and kill the mole was to activate Ghost Protocol-”

Harry inhaled sharply, his eyes bulging out as he staggered backwards. “He didn’t,” he whispered, his tone frantic. “Merlin he didn’t - Please tell me you didn't let him take on Ghost Protocol.”

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the waves of guilt crash down on him. “I had no choice, Harry.”

“He will fucking die, Merlin!” Harry roared, his hands shaking as he stared at Merlin with disbelieving eyes. “You know how that protocol works. No one ever survives, Merlin. Eggsy’s going t-to” Harry fought to finish the sentence, but no words came out. “oh my god, the knights are going to kill him,” Harry all but screamed, looking at Merlin with crazed eyes. “Merlin _I_ sent them to kill him. _I_ sent them to kill my husband,” Harry choked out, covering his mouth as a sob escaped him.

Eggsy was going to die, just like his mother had. He was going to lose the younger man without ever getting the chance to apologize, without ever getting the chance to remember him. He was going to lose the one person who had clearly managed to make him happy without getting to experience what that happiness truly felt like. He was going to lose the boy who had managed to warm his heart by merely existing in his dreams. He was going to lose him just like he had his mother; too soon, with too many things left unsaid and too many regrets that he would never be able to fix and that he would have to live with for the rest of his life.

And worse yet, Eggsy - sweet, soft, loyal, stubborn Eggsy - was going to die because Harry had ordered it so. Eggsy was going to die and his blood would taint Harry’s hands and Harry’s hands only.

He was Eggsy’s executioner; just like he had been his mother’s.

The room felt too hot, too small, too dark. There wasn’t enough air.

Harry couldn’t _breathe_.

Harry undid his tie frantically, trying to block out the images of that last phone call he had had with his mother before she had been captured because she had been too distracted talking to Harry to realize there was someone waiting for her in her room. He tried to shut his brain off. He wanted to stop seeing in his mind that damned black medal he had been given all those years ago. He wanted to block out the image of William bending down to give it to him, of the hushed, empty words of condolences his relatives had offered him that had meant nothing to him because _his mother wasn’t coming back and he was all alone now._

He staggered backwards, his mother’s soft laughter ringing in his ears, her panicked cries when she couldn’t find Harry after dark, her pained screams that he had imagined over and over once he had become a kingsman and he had seen first hand what torture could do to a person.

His mother had been captured and tortured because he had been unable to wait one more day for her to come back from “work” - which at the time Harry had truly believed to be a tailor shop - to tell her about a meaningless new dead animal he had caught. While it was true that he hadn't known how dangerous his mother's job actually was, it was still his fault for his mother had always asked him to wait and not call.

He had disobeyed her and his mother had died because of his disobedience.

He had killed the woman he had loved most in the world, and now he had just sealed his husband’s fate to die, because he had been too impulsive to consider the possibilities.

Merlin grabbed him by the arm, whispering something that Harry couldn’t quite make out.

He felt Merlin’s hand cradle his face. Harry was sure the man was screaming something at him, but the sound was muffled. He tried to say something - probably something along the lines of _find Eggsy,_ but no sound cam out as darkness finally engulfed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I divided chapter 26 into two so that I could get the first part to you today. 
> 
> *whispers* ilu


	27. Break-Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'll do whatever I have to do to protect you. I'll lie, cheat, and steal to make you okay."  
> ― Tarryn Fisher

“Harry?” Merlin murmured, squeezing his friend’s arm softly as the man finally opened his eyes. “Take it easy, Harry. It’s alright.”

“What happened? Where-” the man suddenly stopped talking as the past three hours hit him like a train.

_He needed to find Eggsy._

“Where’s Eggsy? Merlin we need to find him,” he said in a rush as he tried to get up from the couch. “We need to call a meeting. The agents must be told not to-”

“Harry, calm down,” Merlin urged, grabbing his friend by the arm as he tried to walk to the door. “I will send a notice saying that Eggsy is no longer to be considered a threat at noon.”

Harry nodded weakly, mumbling a small thank you, before sighing. He rubbed his eyes, trying to spell away the headache that was threatening to break his skull. “We need to find him, Merlin,” he whispered, looking up at the man with pleading eyes. “This mission must end. I don’t care if there’s still a mole. I will not let him die like that.”

Merlin swallowed hard, looking away as he murmured “follow me.”

Harry frowned but did as Merlin asked, trying his best not to support himself on the wall. He felt ike the room would not spinning. It was worse than any hangover he’d experienced.It was like the more he thought about Eggsy the more his head hurt. 

Merlin led him down the long hallways of the HQ to the infirmary. Harry felt his stomach churn and drop as he turned to look at the man with fear in his eyes.

“Merlin, why the bloody hell are we here?”

Merlin said nothing as he opened the door for Harry to go inside. Harry was pretty sure he had never seen the man look so guilty before.

“I need you to remain calm, Harry, or you won’t be allowed to stay here,” the magician said in a soft, comforting tone. He reached out with his hand but hesitated, his hand stilling mid-air. It probably wasn’t the best idea to touch Harry right now, not with the man’s nerves shot and his reflexes heightened. 

Harry noticed Merlin’s hand and sighed, steeling himself as he saw the hand drop. So Merlin wouldn’t even touch him. Was he that angry? Did he blame Harry for having to send Eggsy on that god awful mission? 

Well, technically, it _was_ partially his fault. He had been reckless - disregarding the fact that he hadn’t actually known that Eggsy was his husband. His eyes turned resigned as he moved away from Merlin to give the magician more space. He could feel his heart ache at the loss of his closest friend. 

_thirty five years gone down the drain…._

Merlin, noticing Harry’s sudden detachment frowned, looking concerned. “Harry-”

“Lead the way, Merlin,” Harry said softly, yet his voice left no doubt that that was a command. If what Merlin wanted was space, if what he wanted was a professional relationship, then Harry would give him that. Never mind that it would physically pain Harry to do so, he owed that much to his friend. 

Merlin stood still for a moment, debating whether or not it was a good time to talk to Harry. Eggsy still hadn’t woken up, but his friend was clearly going to go mad with despair if he didn’t see the younger man soon. Merlin sighed and began walking to Eggsy’s room, trusting that Harry would follow.

He opened the door, letting Harry go in first. He watched as the man stopped at the doorway, his eyes going wide and his lips going chalk white. 

Eggsy laid on the bed, unconscious, looking pale and battered. His face - as beautiful as ever - look gaunt, and he had deep black circles under his eyes from a clear lack of sleep. There was a long bandage on his arm, and another one on his chest, covering what Harry assumed to be gunshots. There were a few gashes here and there and a few dark bruises that made Harry want to scream in rage. 

He had never seen the younger man look so…. _helpless_ \- not that he had any recollections of Essay to compare his current state to. 

He stumbled inside, walking to the nearest chair where he proceeded to plop down without caring about whether his suit got wrinkled or not. He picked up Eggsy’s hand, brining it closer to himself. 

“Forgive me,” Harry whispered, feeling his lungs being crushed with that unfathomable guilt that he was sure would eat him alive. “Forgive me for forgetting you… and for not remembering you. Oh, god, forgive me for betraying you.” Harry tried - and failed - to bit back the tears that were now glistening his eyes. “Forgive me for not protecting you.” 

Eggsy remained still, his features betraying nothing. Harry scrunched his eyes shut, feeling bile rise in his throat. 

_What if he never got to apologize in person? What if Eggsy died because of his wounds?_

Harry suddenly gasped, feeling a sense of deja-vu come over him. He was sure he had had a similar thought in the past. But when? Was it a memory, or was he so desperate to remember something that he was beginning to imagine things? 

He pushed his chair back, his head throbbing painfully. He pressed his fingers against his forehead, trying to keep the room from spinning out of control. He felt nauseous. 

He got up on unsteady feet, looking back at where Merlin was standing. He walked towards the man, pushing past him as he rushed to the bathroom, Merlin hot on his heels. He reached the loos in record time, pushing the door of the first stall open as he sank to his knees. He hurled, his shoulders heaving with the strength of his retches. 

Merlin kneeled next to him, holding him by his arms. He pressed Harry against him once he was sure the man had nothing left in his stomach, and snatched a piece of paper to flush the toilet. 

“Alright, we need to get you some tea,” Merlin grunted. “And you’re going to rest in my office.”

Harry said nothing, kicking himself for not being able to get himself together; the last thing he needed right now was to be an inconvenience to Merlin. 

————————————

Eggsy woke up suddenly, feeling a jarring pain on his chest. He groaned, trying to get up but found that he couldn’t. His body was too numb. 

His mind reeled back at the stench of blood and the fact that he couldn’t quite feel his legs at the moment. He forced himself to look down, his heartbeat considerably slowing down once he realized where he was.

Suddenly, he frowned, precisely because of _where_ he as.

_Why the bloody hell was he at the Kingsman infirmary?_

The last thing he could remember was Roxy pulling him out of the car, but he was almost one hundred percent sure that she had not taken him back to HQ.

_Had Merlin had him transferred?_

He groaned internally as he pushed himself up with his arms, sitting more comfortably. Merlin _sucked_ at following protocol, probably because he was so used to doing whatever the fuck he wanted. 

Eggsy shook his head fondly as he took in the room, and the IV’s on both of his arms. He lowered the dosage of painkillers to a minimum, preferring to feel pain over not feeling his body at all. He tried standing up, taking his time as he allowed his jelly legs to adjust once again. It probably took him about twenty minutes, but he eventually felt his legs again enough to walk to the bathroom, carrying with him the IV pole. 

He looked at himself in the mirror, wincing at the image. Suddenly he froze. He had a stubble, which meant he had been out for at least a day. 

That meant that the American’s would meet in one day’s time.

_Fuck._

_He needed to get out of here._

Eggsy went back to his room, making sure there was no one in the hallway as he exited. He made his way to the staff’s changing room, taking the first pair of trousers that looked like they could fit him and a shirt that was clearly bigger than him. He changed quickly, ripping the IV’s out carefully. 

He tiptoed his way to the storage room, picking up a clipboard from one of the doors. He broke the top, taking a small metal piece with which he helped himself crack the storage’s safety. 

He went inside, carefully not to make any noise as he gathered anything that looked useful at the moment. He gabbed a black body bag and placed everything inside, trying not to think too deeply about the double meaning that that brag brought to his actions. He stifled a groan of pain as he bent down to pick up a few more medicines, throwing it all in the bag.

He exited the room, holding back a yelp as he came face to face with one of the nurses. 

“Mr. Hart,” The man gasped, clearly not believing his eyes. He stumbled backwards, looking down the hallway. 

“I’m _so_ sorry,” Eggsy whispered before he grabbed him by the wrist and hit a pressure point in his neck, knocking him out immediately. He took the man’s card and his coat, quickly walking down the hallway. 

He thanked the heavens for having worked at kingsman for six years as he knew exactly how to leave the infirmary undetected. 

He made his way to one of the many weapon’s room, taking two black guns and a few rounds of ammo. He needed to get out of London, but there was no way he was going to be able to do that alone, not under the Kingsmans’ noses.

He needed Merlin, but that was impossible. The man would never let him leave, and Eggsy was the only one that would be able to get into the Party and meeting without being detected. They didn’t have time to find someone else and to make them a cover.

Eggsy had to do it. He just needed to find a capable handler. Suddenly his face broke into a smile.

 He knew exactly who he needed. 

—————————————————

Sam froze at the sight of a rumpled looking Eggsy pointing a gun at her from the door to her office. 

“What are you doing boy?” She growled, her nostrils flared. 

“Sam, I need yer ‘elp, and I don’t have much time,” Eggsy murmured softly, almost as if afraid. “I need yeh to come with me.”

“Why would I help you when you have a fucking gun pointed at my head?” She said, offended.

Eggsy shook his head. “The gun’s for yer protection, Sam.”

She gaped. “Are you mental? Do you really think I am going to-”

“Sam ‘arry is in danger and if yeh and I don’t hurry the fuck up then they are gonna kill ‘im,” Eggsy snapped, his eyes desperate. “Now, I know this don’t look too good, but I promise yeh Sam, I am not a traitor.”

The woman held her breath for a moment. Eggsy’s words held such conviction, such passion, she couldn’t help but give him the benefit of the doubt. “Then why are you pointing a gun at me?”

“Because last time I checked the kingsmen thought I was a traitor, and wanted me dead,” Eggsy deadpanned, his expression carefully blank. “I ain’t gonna put yeh at risk. If anything goes wrong, then yeh can say I held yeh at gunpoint. It’s not even loaded, Sam.” Eggsy showed her the empty chamber of the gun, giving her a small smile. “Now will yeh help me?”

“What is it you want to do?” She said, still not quite convinced.

“I already took down one of the moles,” He said, leaning more heavily against the wall. “But there’s someone else in the American branch, and they was planning to attack tomorrow. We can’t let that happen.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” She said crossing her arms as she came closer. 

“I can get in no problem,” he said, a glint of hope shining in his eyes. He almost had her, he was sure. “I just need ya to ‘elp me steal a jet, and to hack HQ’s signal.”

She frowned. “What for?”

“I need everyone in this building to be on lockdown for as long as possible,” he said softly, grasping her hand.

“Merlin will be able to override any lockdown I set in place. The longest I can hold them is twelve hours,” she warned sternly. 

Eggsy smiled. “I don’t need more than that. They won’t have a jet to fly anyways. Only one of the jets is ‘ere. I checked.”

She licked her lips, staring deeply into his eyes. “You don’t want to be pursued." It wasn't a question.

Eggsy nodded curtly. “I ain’t gonna let them delay me, and I ain’t gonna let any of them get hurt. Merlin’s done ‘nuff for me. It’s time I finish my mission.” 

Sam patted his cheek, pity, misery, and a terribly sweet fondness all mixing in her eyes, making her eyes shine with tears. “Eggsy, do you realize that in your state you will-”

Eggsy pressed his forehead against the woman’s, nodding so softly, Sam was almost sure she had imagined it. “Sam, babe, will you be my handler… one last time?”

The woman let out a shuddering breath as she nodded, tears falling freely down her face. She had always had a soft spot for Eggsy, but to know that this could be the last time... 

She let out a small sob, that she quickly clamped down on. There was no time for sentimentalities. Eggsy kissed both of her cheeks, giving her a sad smile before murmuring “then let’s go then. We don’t ‘ave much time.” 

She followed the young man to the helipad and opened the jet in mere seconds, locking the doors behind them. She looked much more composed than before.

“Turn the tracking devices off,” Eggsy asked as he settled on one of the seats, bringing a hand up to his broken ribs. 

_God, he needed painkillers._

The woman opened the laptop sitting on the side of the jet, working quickly to raise the helipad to street level. She clicked furiously, her face turning calm - almost angry - as she concentrated. 

She sighed after a few minutes, giving Eggsy’s knee a squeeze. “We’re en route, and we should get there in about eight hours. The lockdown will begin in two minutes.” 

Eggsy nodded turning to the black bag he had brought with him. Sam turned to look at it too, roaming around the bag to see what it contained. 

“It’s mostly painkillers, some morphine, adrenaline… you know the gist,” Eggsy murmured coughing softly. He winced, his ribs screaming in pain at the movement. 

“We’ll need to clean those bullet wounds and change the gauze,” she murmured, giving Eggsy a sharp glance. “Take off your shirt. I’ll patch you up.”

“Sam, I don’t think I brought anythin’ like that.” Eggsy admitted with a sheepish look. 

She gave him a small smile, her eyes still as sad as before. “There’s a more than adequate aid kit here. Just take off your shirt.”

Eggsy nodded, taking off his shirt gently as to not further aggravate the pain on his ribs. He leaned back, happy to let Sam do her thing. He felt a tinge of guilt as she began working, knowing that Merlin would likely feel the urge to kill him once he found out what Eggsy had done. Still, as he had told the man at the beginning, this wasn’t Merlin’s choice to make. 

Eggsy had lost his husband, had lost him to the point that the man now thought him a traitor and wanted his head on a sliver platter. But Harry’s body and mind - that beautiful, brilliant mind of his - were still _alive_ and there for the world to enjoy. 

Eggsy may have lost his husband, but there was no reason why the world should have to lose Harry Hart. 

The world would be too dark without that beautiful, loving, reckless creature that had bewitched Eggsy’s very soul. It was worth angering Merlin - it was even worth hurting him - if it meant Harry got to be safe. 

The only thing he wanted was his husband to be _save_ and _happy_ , regardless of whether or not he remembered Eggsy, regardless of the fact that his love was no longer - and would never again be - reciprocated.

Eggsy picked up his tablet with shaky hands, letting out a puff of air. He needed to stop dwelling on such morbid things.

 He had a fucker to kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, only 4 more chapters to go! I hope you are enjoying it ;)


	28. I know your face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s not learning. He’s not experiencing.  
> He’s remembering. 
> 
> He walks to the next screen, hungry to be himself again.  
> James Dashner

“I need to see him, Merlin,” Harry murmured from the couch after what felt like an eternity. 

Merlin looked up from the documents he had at hand, giving his friend a pitying look. “Harry, you are not well-”

“I don’t care. I need to be there with him,” Harry snapped, sitting up, trying to hide how dizzy that had made him. 

Merlin sighed but nodded, standing up with a wince. It was obvious that the man had not taken a break from work in a very long time and his body was starting to show it. “Come on, I’ll have the nurses move Eggsy to a bigger room so that they can set up a bed.”  


Harry nodded gratefully, following Merlin out of the room. They remained quiet for the entire way to the infirmary, neither man really sure of what to say. Merlin wasn’t sure how to comfort his friend, and Harry seemed bent on not talking to him, which made sense considering how hurt he must be from all of the lying. 

Harry on the other hand wasn’t sure what was safe to say. An angry Merlin was a volatile Merlin and he wasn’t quite ready to deal with another burst of rage from the man. Not to mention, if he was to keep a merely professional relationship with the man now, then there was nothing left to talk about. Harry sighed, his heart clenching painfully at the thought. He wasn’t quite sure how his world without Merlin would work, but he’d manage. If he had managed growing up without parents, he was quite sure he could live out the rest of his days at kingsman without Merlin watching his back every step of the way.He wasn’t a child for fuck’s sake.  

They reached Eggsy’s room, both men coming to a screeching halt as they found the bed empty, and Eggsy’s clothes gone. 

Merlin spun around and began walking around the infirmary, tracking the doctor who could possibly give him an answer. He gasped as he found Eggsy’s nurse on the floor, clearly unconscious.

Harry rushed to his side, his nostrils flaring. “Who would have dared to take him?”

Merlin’s throat felt dry. He scanned the almost empty room, running to the break room, where he found everyone unconscious. He gaped, carefully stepping inside. He took a small breath and immediately stepped out, paling. “They activated the sleeping gas we have on every room.” 

Harry paled, giving Merlin an incredulous look. “No one has the skills to hack Kingsman, Merlin. You said so yourself.” 

The man shook his head, clearly at a loss. “I don’t know what’s happening, Harry. We need to check the security feed.” 

Harry nodded tersely, following the magician out of the infirmary. They ran back to Merlin’s office. Harry began pacing around, his headache coming back almost full force. Merlin suddenly gasped, looking baffled. 

“You stupid, stupid man,” he breathed under his breath, his eyes glistening with tears. 

“What’s the matter?” Harry barked out anxiously, his hands twitching on their own accord. “Merlin-”

“Eggsy left on his own, Harry,” the man whispered. “He took Sam with him and he left. They disabled the tracker from the jet they took, and broke connections. I can’t reach them and I don’t know where they’re going, although it is safe to assume he’s going back to Washington.” 

Harry gasped, feeling fainter by the second. “We need to catch up with them, Merlin. Eggsy cannot reach Washington in his state.” 

Merlin suddenly looked afraid, but whether he was afraid for Eggsy or for Harry’s reaction, Harry couldn’t tell. “Sam activated lockdown.” 

“So deactivate it,” Harry said immediately, not understanding why Merlin was being so bloody difficult when his injured husband was on a fucking plane to god knows where. 

“It’s not that simple, Harry” the magician growled. “She activated a code red lockdown. It lasts for twenty four hours, and only she can deactivate it for the first twelve. There’s nothing I can do until twelve hours have passed.” 

Harry plopped down on the couch, groaning in frustration. 

_Was this his punishment for forgetting?_

* * *

_Harry stepped into the safe house, his shoulders still tense. He looked back to find Eggsy leaning against the door, looking worse for wear. He sighed, approaching the younger man carefully._

_He knew he probably had to check in with Merlin right now, but Eggsy wasn’t looking well, and his husband came first._

_“There’s nothing you could have done, Eggsy,” Harry whispered, running his hands through Eggsy’s hair over and over again._

_Eggsy let out a small sob, his eyes glistening with tears. “They’re dead ‘arry, and I did nothing to-"_  

_Harry rested his forehead against Eggsy’s, forcing the younger man to look into his eyes. “The priority was for you to get out of there alive with the prime minister’s daughter. If you would have gone back for the rest you wouldn’t have made it out, and the mission would have failed. By saving that little girl you avoided the mass murder of over a hundred people, EGgsy,” Harry said softly but relentlessly. He’d be dammed if he let Eggsy blame himself for what had happened tonight._

_Eggsy nodded weakly, still looking shaken and angry at himself. Harry fought the urge to growl as he manhandled Eggsy back to the bed. He gently pushed him down, undoing the buttons of his shirt._  

_Eggsy gasped, clearly not expecting this. “‘arry I-”_  

_“Shh,” whispered the older man, kissing his lips softly before moving to kiss his eyelids. “Let me take care of you tonight, Eggsy.”_

_Eggsy nodded softly, feeling something break inside of him, something that he was sure Harry would be able to put back together no matter what. Harry helped him take off his shirt, kissing his collarbone softly. Eggsy closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy the sensation of Harry’s weight on top of him, keeping him safe and pinned to the bed, the feel of Harry’s soft lips washing away the guilt and the pain._  

_Harry caressed Eggsy’s sides, feeling the younger man’s lean muscles. He smiled when he heard Eggsy’s breath hitch as he took one of the younger man’s nipples into his mouth. He sucked at it softly, teasingly, wanting to make Eggsy not think about anything else but Harry._  

_He pinched Eggsy’s other nipple, groaning when Eggsy’s hips bucked as he accidentally brushed their cocks together._

_“‘arry please,” Eggsy whispered breathlessly, needing the man to hurry things along._

_Harry said nothing as he slowly undid Eggsy’s zipper and removed his trousers. He made no move, however, to take his pants off, content with palming Eggsy through his pants. Eggsy whimpered, bucking into the fleeting touch desperately. He couldn’t take the teasing, he needed more and yet Harry seemed unwilling to do more than tease right now._

_Harry sucked and nipped at Eggsy’s neck, finally squeezing him hard through his pants. Eggsy screamed, throwing his head back as Harry went lower, finally taking his pants off. He kissed and bit Eggsy’s inner thigh, not stopping until Eggsy’s legs were shaking._

_“'arry I need you, please,” Eggsy whimpered trashing against the sheets. He had lost the ability to think long ago as his need for Harry overpowered everything else._

_Harry nodded softly, spreading Eggsy’s legs a bit as he settled in between them. He looked at Eggsy for a moment, letting all his love and want show in his eyes before diving in to take Eggsy in one go._

_“Fuckin’ hell,” Eggsy all but screamed throwing his head back as his hips snapped up involuntarily._

_Harry groaned in pleasure, relaxing his throat as he opened his mouth wider. He looked Eggsy for a moment, letting him know it was okay. Eggsy took a deep breath, feeling wild excitement course through him as he rolled his hips experimentally not wanting to hurt Harry. The man groaned encouragingly again, squeezing Eggsy’s outer thighs comfortingly._

_Eggsy kept rolling his hips, soon losing himself to the pleasure of having his cock buried so deep in Harry’s hot, wet mouth._

_Soon enough he was snapping his hips up with quite a bit of force, but Harry said nothing, wanting nothing more than to see Eggsy lose himself. He rubbed Eggsy’s thigh, letting his other hand wonder up to squeeze Eggsy’s hand. Harry moaned around Eggsy’s cock, feeling half chocked as Eggsy relentlessly thrust in. He loved seeing the younger man lose control so blatantly. He could feel the telltale signs of Eggsy’s impending orgasm, which pushed him to moan again._

_“‘arry!” cried out the younger man, almost blacking out with the force of his orgasm. He stilled as Harry milked him dry, holding him in place. Eggsy whimpered once Harry finally pulled away, shaking softly as he brought Harry up to kiss him._

_“Yeh didn’t come,” Eggsy noted softly, burying his head in the crook of Harry’s neck as he took a hold of his husband’s cock._

_Harry swatted his hand away, squeezing Eggsy closer. “That’s because I’m not done with you yet.”_

_Eggsy moaned again, gripping Harry’s biceps. “Fuck me, Harry.”_

_Harry hummed in agreement, bringing Eggsy up for another kiss. “Oh I will my love, I’m just giving you a moment to rest.”_

* * *

Eggsy opened the door to the small safehouse, Sam hot on his heels. She looked around the small room, clearly not content with what she found. 

“Why couldn’t we go to a kingsman safe house?” She said softly, looking at Eggsy. 

“Because I’m not a kinsman, Sam. I don’t ‘ave access to any Kingsman safe houses,” He said without looking at her as he pressed his hand against a hand recognition glass. 

“But I do,” she said, growing at him. 

Eggsy smiled softly, turning to look at her, still looking far too pallid and sick. “Yeh do, but then Merlin would ‘ave known we’re ‘ere.” 

Sam’s frown deepened. “I thought he knew we’d be here.” 

Eggsy shook his head. “He probably thinks we’re in DC, but what he doesn’t know is that I asked ‘em to switch the meetin’ to the smaller HQ in L.A.” 

Sam gaped, looking even more confused than before. “But if you are not an agent then how-”

“I emailed them on behalf of the director of the CIA who kinda has to be there.”Eggsy shrugged giving her a small smile. “I ‘ave a bruv ‘ere that said was gonna ‘elp me set up.” 

“Set up how?” Sam said slowly, taking a few steps closer. 

“Yeh’ll see soon, Sam. Don’t worry it’s nothing bad. It’s just a precaution,” Eggsy said quickly, pulling out a large bag.

“Precaution for what? Eggsy I need you to tell me what is going on if you want me to help you, especially since it’s almost been twelve hours since I activated the lock down.”

Eggsy sighed, turning to look at Sam, leaving the bag half open. “There’s a party tonight, Sam, where they’re supposed to choose Albee’s successor just like we do with Arthur. I don’t know what they’re planning to do, but I know that the plan is to kill ‘arry. I ain’t gonna let that happen so I’m gonna go in with my CIA cover, okay?” 

“And what exactly are you planning to do once you are inside? It’s not like they don’t know you,” she said, placing her hands on her hips, not giving in an inch. 

“Cause very few actually know me, besides, I already know who the mole is so I just ‘afta corner them at some point in the night and take care of ‘em.” 

“You do realize they’re going to try to kill you once you kill the agent, not to mention the fact that ou are still fucking injured Eggsy,” she growled, her eyes showing how worried she truly was for her friend. 

Eggsy sighed. “Sam stop worryin’ will ya? It’ll be fine. The only thing that matters right now is taking Wilder down.”  

“How do you know it’s Wilder?” She said looking less and less convince by the minute. 

“I looked at pictures of him and his brother, and only Wilder has a scar on his eyebrow,” Eggsy said with a big grin. “They guy in the flash drive had a scar on his eyebrow.” 

Sam nodded, starting to feel a bit overloaded with information. “Right, okay, so you go in and I’ll get you out.”

Eggsy nodded softly, not looking at Sam in the eye. “I’m just gonna get ready.” 

“you should wear your kingsman suit,” she said softly, clearly still trying to find a way to keep Eggsy at least slightly safer. 

Eggsy shook his head. “I ain’t a Kingsman, Sam. They’d notice me even faster. Don’t worry I won’t need it.” 

“how do you know?” She pleaded, her eyes tortured. “Eggsy I don’t want to see you-”

“Sam, it’s fine luv,” Eggsy whispered, kissing her forehead. “Why don’t ya set up the safe line eh?”

She sighed but nodded, knowing that that was Eggsy’s subtle way to ask for a moment for himself. 

Eggsy waited until Sam moved to the other room where the computer was to pull out the different weapons. He pulled out the adrenaline which had saved his life before, and quitea few painkillers which he downed without water. He carefully stored the poison laced knives in his socks and strapped another four to his arms. He adjusted his holster, still feeling naked without his usual suit. 

He looked at himself in the mirror as he finished dressing himself, noticing that his face still looked bruised. 

“Sam, babe, yeh got make up?” He called out, not able to look at himself for a minute longer. 

—————————

Harry sat by his desk, the only thing illuminating the room being a small lamp on Harry’s desk. He held in his hands an album filled with pictures, some of him and Eggsy, some of Daisy and Michelle and Eggsy, and some even of him and Michelle. 

It had been almost twelve hours, and yet he had had no news from Eggsy. The younger man had left without a trace and had made damn sure that they would not be able to contact him unless Eggsy did so first. The few agents that had not been in HQ before the lock down had fallen upon them were all either in undercover missions or too far to be of any help.

In other words, Harry could do naught but wait and pray that Eggsy didn't do anything stupid. He had never felt this powerless before.

He remained quiet, trying his best to keep the rage and pain and worry buried deep inside, his eyes filled with a sorrow few people had witnessed before. He sighed softly, trying one of the photographs with his index finger. It was a picture of Eggsy laughing, cake covering at least half of his face. 

Harry chuckled softly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Eggsy looked so bloody happy, so free of worry and pain. It was a truly beautiful picture. 

It reminded Harry of Eggsy’s twenty ninth birthday, when they had gone to Greece for a mission, but had end up staying as Eggsy had never been there before. He could almost see Eggsy’s childlike excitement as Harry took him to the pantheon and told him the different myths he could remember. 

Harry gasped, the book falling from his numb hands as he suddenly stood, his eyes wild. 

He could remember them going to the pantheon. He could _remember_ Eggsy’s twenty-ninth birthday as if it had been yesterday. 

Harry let out out a shaky breath, bracing himself against the window behind his desk, quickly undoing the latch to let the cold night air hit him straight in the face as his mind whirled out of control, random bits and pieces of information filing back into his mind. 

He remained next to the window, shaking violently, looking pale as a sheet, for at least an hour. He kept his eyes closed, not noticing Merlin approach him.

“'arry are you alright?” The man murmured softly, touching his arm softly. “You look like you’re going to be sick. We should get you back to the infirmary-”

 “I remember, Merlin,” Harry whispered, still looking out the window with lost eyes. “I don’t know if i remember everything but I-” He swallowed hard, squeezing his eyes shut as his brain tried to make sense of everything being thrown at him. “I remember Eggsy, Merlin.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh, we're almost at the end! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I certainly enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> P.S BRACE YOURSELVES FOR NEXT CHAPTER MY DARLINGS BECAUSE NEXT ONE IS THE ANGSTIEST OF THE LOT.


	29. Good Night, Good Knight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I defy the stars. I defy heaven and hell. The laws of the universe say that the man I love is lost to me. Watch me save him. He saved me first you know." - c.k

Eggsy put the comm unit on his ear, finishing his last minute touches with a pair of non-Kingsman issued glasses that did the same thing. 

He turned around to look at Sam, a small smile tugging at his lips. “How do I look?”

“Like you just broke out of the hospital,” she deadpanned dryly. 

Eggsy couldn’t help but chuckle, his eyes twinkling with mirth. “And they say I’m cheeky.” 

Sam gave him a small wink and a smile that looked more like a grimace. “So Merlin and Harry just boarded a plane as they managed to undo the lock down.” 

Eggsy’s brows shot up. “I thought you said it was only supposed to last twelve hours.” 

She shook her head. “No, I said it would take twelve hours for Merlin to have the ability to crack it.”

“But it’s been almost eighteen hours,” Eggsy said as he looked at his watch. 

Sam nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips-. “The lock down apparently reinitiated itself after six hours had passed as we destroyed the tracking device on the jet and we activated the sleeping gas at the infirmary. Also, I think it may have had something to do with Gawain trying to access his files to report something while the system was on lock down.” 

Eggsy gaped, not sure whether it was right for him to be pleased at the new developments. “Well, at least now we can be sure Merlin ain’t gonna catch up with us.”

Sam nodded tersely. “I still think you should talk to Merlin, Eggsy,” she said softly, her eyes pleading. “I can connect you on a safe, untraceable line.” 

Eggsy shook his head rotundly. “I don’t need ‘im screamin’ at me right now, but thanks.”

Sam bit her lip, tilting her head to the side. “And if I mute his side so that you can’t hear him?” 

Eggsy frowned. “ain’t much of a conversation if I’m the only one talkin',” Eggsy noted. He moved closer to sam, tilting her head up. “What are yeh up to, Sammy?”

“I think it would be… advisable to say… to say goodbye” she whispered, closing her eyes as to not have to look at Eggsy’s pale face. 

While neither one had said it aloud, they both knew the truth. They were both well acquainted with the field, and Sam didn’t need Eggsy to tell her that his odds were near nonexistent. She had known that from the moment he had asked for her help with enough desperation to point a gun at her head to give them an out. 

But she had also known that she would do her damnest to get him out of there alive, even if it meant dragging him out of there, which was exactly why she had agreed to come. Still, even with her as his handler, Eggsy’s chances were bleak, and she knew how close Eggsy was to Merlin. 

She figured, if Eggsy couldn’t say goodbye to his husband, he may as well say goodbye to his friend. That was the least she could help with.

Eggsy was taken aback by Sam’s words. Of course he had known she knew, but he had figured it was one of those taboo topics you were supposed to keep your mouth shut about. He should have known; there were zero topics Sam wasn’t willing to breach. 

He finally nodded, squeezing her hands. “Mute him though, please.” 

Eggsy couldn’t bear to listen to Merlin break right now. He needed to be strong right now; he needed to get his job done. 

Sam nodded and moved away to connect the call.

Eggsy paced around the room, finally plopping down on the couch to look at his hands. They felt too bare without his wedding ring. 

_Oh, fuck it._

He had broken protocol rules already. Wearing his ring wouldn’t be the thing that got him killed. He pulled out the silver chain that he had hung around his neck the day before Harry had been released from the hospital. He undid the clip that held it tied to his neck and he yanked away the two identical golden rings. One had to look closely to notice the differences between the two. 

First there was the size; one was visibly bigger than the other. Then there were the names; one had _Harry Hart_ inscribed on the inside, while the other had _Eggsy Unwin_. But they both had the same phrase inscribed on the inside; “Numquam periit amor” - _Love Never Dies_. 

It had seemed so fitting at the time, what with Harry having been shot the year prior to their wedding. The wound had still been fresh in Eggsy’s mind; It had been Harry’s way of centering Eggsy, of anchoring him. They both knew the other could die any minute with the jobs that they had, so it was nice to think that their love was eternal. That even if one of them was gone, the other would remain, that the love they had shared would remain intact. 

Eggsy had never actually thought it would be him, though, to be the one to go first, and he had most certainly not imagined Harry would have no recollection of who Eggsy was, leaving their love to die with Eggsy. 

Eggsy clenched his hands softly before finally slipping his ring on. It did not matter if the phrase was no longer applicable. It didn’t matter if their love _did_ die with Eggsy. Harry would get to live, and his life would be a testament to how much Eggsy had loved him.

That was enough for Eggsy.

Sam suddenly turned to look at Eggsy “Merlin’s on the line, Eggsy. You can talk now.”

Egsgy nodded, giving Sam Harry’s ring. “Keep that safe for me will ya?” 

Sam looked at the ring with wide eyes, clearly stricken, but said nothing. Eggsy squeezed her shoulder before he moved to stand by the mirror. 

He put his glasses on and looked at himself on the mirror, wanting his friend to see his face when he talked. 

He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. "The chances of me surviving this one ain't that high, Merlin, so, in case I don't survive, I need you to do me a solid, a'right? I need ya to make sure me mum and Daisy are taken care of, a’right? Just make sure they can provide for themselves. Don't tell mum that I'm not coming back. Just tell her my mission got extended and that yeh have no clue when the hell I'll be back.” He paused for a second, his eyes narrowing. “Take care of Roxy, Merlin, and tell 'er she's the best mate a bruv could ask for. Don't tell her the truth about this one, _please_. Just say last time I contacted yeh I was in the US or sumthin', and that I said I couldn’t come back alright? Tell her that I promised yeh I’d come back to visit some day. I know she won’t believe you, but tell her that anyways, and don’t let her cry Merlin.” Eggsy took another deep breath, clenching his hands.

 “Do me a favour and don't overwork yerself, Merlin. Don’t blame yerself, and take care of yerself, guv, _please_. If both of us are dead then who's gonna protect everybody else?" Eggsy smiled sadly, surprised to notice that it  looked more like a grimace than a smile. "And take care of.... of my _husband_ , will you?" Eggsy didn't dare to say Harry's name, not when Merlin was on a plane with Harry. He knew Merlin would get the message and make up a story to tell Harry about who Eggsy's husband was, if the man happened to be listening in. "Make sure he eats properly and that he gets enough rest. Don't let ‘im pull too many all nighters, and get 'im to smile a lot for me, yeah? Get 'im a new boyfriend that treats him like a king, will yeh? Preferably someone that doesn't look a lot like me." Eggsy chuckled softly, his chuckle sounding as hollow and broken as he was feeling.

Eggsy wasn’t sure he could stomach the thought of Harry dating someone else after his death, but he wanted to see his husband happy. Perhaps Ravel’s lack of scruples would end up being a good thing in the end. Eggsy was sure the man would rush to Harry’s side the minute he heard Eggsy was dead, and Harry would give in. Of course he would. Harry would have no clue that he had just lost his husband. He would know nothing, would remember nothing… he would feel no pain - just like Eggsy had wanted.

 "Just work yer magic, Merlin, he loves ya enough to listen to yeh." Eggsy let a few tears fall as he fixed his tie. If he really was to die today, he was at least going to die looking fucking fantastic. "Thank you, Merlin, you're the guv'nor." 

He took one last look at himself and nodded, turning back to Sam. He gave her a small nod and she immediately disconnected the call. She wasn’t full on sobbing, but it was a near thing. 

“Eggsy please promise me that you’ll at least try to come back in one piece,” she said, suddenly turning angry, “There are people that will suffer if you die you know. You can’t just-”

Eggsy cradled her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “I promise to do my best to finish my mission.” 

And with that he left the room, not looking back. He couldn’t - he would end up breaking down if he did.

————————————- 

Merlin growled at Harry, his stress getting the better of him. “You glaring at me like that is not going to help me shut down the lock down, Arthur.”

Harry flinched softly, finally looking away. “Just hurry, Merlin,” he said coolly.

Right. He had to be professional with Merlin. God, this was going to take some getting used to. 

Merlin suddenly breathed out in relieve. “It’s done. We can-”

Harry turned around and all but ran out of the room, for once not actually caring whether or not he was rude to Merlin.

“Hector have the plane ready,” Harry snapped quickly as he made his way to the helipad. 

“Yes, sir,” murmured the man through the comms, the sound from an engine turning on almost drowning out his voice. 

Merlin suddenly caught up with Harry, carrying with him his laptop.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, confusion etched on his countenance. 

“You didn’t honestly think I’d let you go alone? You are in no condition to go alone,” the magician deadpanned, not looking at Harry. 

Harry clenched his jaw but said nothing. They didn’t have time right now to argue. The important thing was to go to Washington to get Eggsy. 

They boarded the plane and - after a few hurried instructions and a few glares - they were off to DC, neither man in shape to talk much. 

Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes softly as he drummed his fingers against the armrest, unable to stay still. Merlin suddenly sat up to his right, his eyes going wide. 

“It’s Sam, they’re trying to contact us,” he said, looking baffled. 

“Well what are you waiting for? Answer the bloody call,” Harry snapped anxiously, standing up to sit next to Merlin. 

The man frowned as he tried to establish the call. “It seems that we can only communicate with Sam.”

Harry frowned, eyeing Merlin with wariness. “What do you mean?" 

“I mean she made it so that Eggsy can’t hear us,” Merlin explained swallowing hard at the message that appeared on his screen. 

_Eggsy wants to tell you something. I promised him I’d mute you. Sorry. I’ll re-establish the connection later. I promise. - Sam_

 Merlin took a deep breath bracing himself to hear what Eggsy had to say. He looked at Harry from the corner of his eye, feeling a pang of sympathy at the look of utter horror the man was sporting. 

_The chances of me surviving this one ain't that high, Merlin, so, in case I don't survive, I need you to do me a solid, a’right?…_

Merlin felt like he had been punched in the gut. Eggsy sounded worn to the bone, and - more importantly - he sounded _resigned,_ like he knew his death was inevitable _._ He felt fainter and fainter as Eggsy kept talking, not able to comprehend what was happening because this could _not_ be happening. He had promised Roxy he would keep Eggsy safe. 

_He had promised._

Harry was looking no better than Merlin. He heard Eggsy speak as if the younger man was speaking in a different language. He covered his mouth slowly, his hands trembling slightly. This could not be happening, not now, not when he had just remembered who Eggsy was, how much he loved him.

He couldn’t lose his other half, his very soul, when he had just gotten him back. The loss would kill him. He couldn’t even bear to think about it. 

He wanted to scream at his fate. Was this Karma? Was this because he hadn’t remembered fast enough? 

_And take care of.... of my husband, will you?_

Harry let out a sob at that, pushing himself up and away from the computer. He braced himself against the other seat, his head hanging low as he shuddered with the strength of his grief.

Even now, at death’s doorstep, Eggsy’s main concern was Harry’s safety. Harry couldn’t comprehend his husband sometimes. He was too selfless, to bloody good for their world. Harry did not deserve him, and he certainly didn’t deserve Eggsy risking his life to save him. 

He wiped his cheeks, bristling at Eggsy’s comment about Merlin finding him a boyfriend. How could he even think Harry would ever think of another man that wasn’t Eggsy? There was no one - not _one_ soul in the _whole world_ \- more beautiful to Harry than Eggsy’s. There was nothing that could compare to the way Harry felt when he saw his husband smile at him, when he heard his laugh, when he moaned under Harry’s ministrations. 

How could he even dare think Harry could be happy after having had him? It was simply ridiculous. Eggsy was the very definition of happiness. Harry’s world would be dark and bleak without Eggsy in it; there would be nothing worth living for. So how could he even think Harry would be able to move on?

Harry suddenly froze, his eyes widening with horror.  

_Eggsy was thinking of Ravel._

Harry recoiled physically at the thought, wanting to rip his skin off. He felt sick to his very bone. He had never felt this disgusted at himself. 

He had touched that man, and he had _hurt_ Eggsy. Never mind the fact that he would have never done such a thing had his memory been intact, he had still hurt his husband. 

_He needed to apologize._

Harry needed the younger man to know that there was nothing more important in his life than Eggsy. He needed him to know that Ravel was nothing more than a sick fling from the past who meant absolutely nothing to Harry.

_But how could he apologize if his lover was dead?_

Harry turned to look at Merlin, his eyes begging for an escape. He looked like an accused ready for his execution. “Please tell me we can get there on time, Merlin. I can’t lose him. I can’t…. _please_ ” 

————————-

Eggsy made his way into the large deck, where the ball was being held. He knew that it was just a decoy - the meeting would be taking place inside - but the meeting would not be taking place for another few hours at least. He had more than enough time to enjoy the party if that’s what he wanted, but he was not here for that.

He hand a single objective tonight, and that was to find Wilder.

“Sam babe, do yeh see what I see?” Eggsy murmured softly. 

“No, Eggsy, there’s something jamming the signal. Give me a minute, I need to try and figure out what’s-"

Eggsy felt a chill run down his back as the signal dropped completely. 

_Well, then he was on his own._

Luck was with him, however, as he spotted the other man at the other end of the dancing floor almost immediately. Wilder was looking directly at him, his head cocked to the side. He looked like a child curious to know what would happen next. He smiled minutely at Eggsy, nodding slightly before turning around to leave.  

Eggsy quickly made his way through the crowd, following the agent with little difficulty. It was clear that he _wanted_ to be followed, for there were enough people to get lost in the crowd. Eggsy suddenly caught up with the man, grabbing him by the wrist and leading him into a small building that looked like it hadn’t been used in decades. 

He allowed Eggsy to lead as soon as he realized where he was taking them. Eggsy probably wanted to be away from prying eyes, but the man didn’t know that Wilder knew the building almost as well as he knew himself. Eggsy would not be able to escape him there.

_What a fool_

“What’s you plan, _Galahad_? There’s nothing here.” He said once Eggsy locked the door. 

Eggsy turned to look at him, his eyes adjusting to the dimmer room. “I wanted to talk to you for a bit.”

The man shrugged, still looking amused. “I guess I can grant a dying man his last wish.”

Eggsy smiled coldly, his eyes as hard as stone. “I wouldn’t speak so soon, Wilder.” 

The man chuckled softly at that, walking towards the window. The moonlight hit his back as he reclined against the old window, the light casting a shadow over his face. “What makes you think you can take me on? You’re wounded.” The man chuckled softly. “You know, when Bedivere first told me it was you, I was a bit surprised. I would have expected you to stay by your _husband’s_ side,” the man mocked. 

“Bedivere is dead,” he spit out. Eggsy took a deep breath, trying to remain himself why he couldn’t just kill the bastard yet. “and my husband needed me here, not by his side." 

If the man was shocked to find out about his friend’s death, he didn’t show it. He only seemed… angrier.  

“Did he now?” The man drawled out, sounding more and more amused even though his eyes showed rage. “I thought he didn’t need you anymore. He forgot you easily enough, and then found himself another man to fuck.” The man shrugged. “It doesn’t sound like he needed you.” 

Eggsy visibly recoiled at that, his eyes full of rage. “Don’t you dare speak of him that way, you bastard,” Eggsy growled. “‘arry would ‘ave never done that, if it wasn’t because he didn’t know.” 

The man hummed, tilting his head to the side. “And why didn’t he know? Ah, yes, _you_ didn’t tell him.” The man chuckled softly, running a hand through his long hair. “You know it was actually quite funny to see you struggle with that. I do applaud you, though, for keeping up with the lie for so long. I didn’t think you had it in you.” 

Eggsy froze, stumbling back a step. “How do yeh-” he breathed in sharply, his eyes narrowing. “It was yeh all along.”

The man smiled, the light making his smile look even more sinister than it already was. “Yes, I hired the doctor, Eggsy. You know, it could have actually helped Harry remember if you would have said something, but you didn’t.” 

Eggsy trembled with rage, feeling an urge to _rip_ the man’s limbs. He knew it was a a bait, but he didn’t care. Suddenly, Eggsy’s eyes turned resigned, a manic grin adorning his lips. “Well I guess it doesn’t really matter now. In the end, it was for the best.” 

The man’s brows shot up at that. “What?” 

“Yeh don’t get it, do ya, how much I love my husband?” Eggsy laughed, a hollow, crazed laugh that made the man’s hair stand on edge. “Yeh see, yeh’ve been plannin’ to kill ‘arry for a while now, but what yeh don’t realize is that yeh already killed my husband.” 

Eggsy allowed the man to try to understand his words, and merely smiled as the confusion didn't leave the man’s face. “Yeh killed my husband the day yeh took his memories away. Don’t yeh get it? Yeh took _everything_ away from me, and that was yer mistake.” Eggsy smiled again, his white teeth showing. “I ‘ave nothin’ left to lose, mate, and yeh’re gonna pay for what yeh did.” 

The man suddenly laughed, partially relieved. “You really think you can take me on like that? You’re fucking injured!” 

Eggsy smiled again. “Do yeh know why I brought you ‘ere?” 

The man froze, looking at Eggsy with wary eyes. 

“This entire building is rigged with explosives.” Eggsy’s eyes sparkled with a manic rage that made Wilder reconsider what he knew about the man standing in front of him. “So if I don’t make it out of this building… then neither will you.” 

“That’s impossible,” The man said. “They swept the entire area before-”

“My mate came in today and did it for me,” Eggsy said smoothly, tilting his head to the side. “No one even noticed.”

“You wouldn’t take your own life,” the man said with a confidence he didn’t feel. 

“I wouldn’t have done this five months ago, that’s true,” Eggsy said easily. “But, like I said, my husband is dead.” Eggsy shrugged, as if that explained everything.

“If he’s dead then why do you want to save him so badly?” The man challenged. 

“Because _I_ may have lost my husband, but the world ‘asn’t lost Harry Hart.” Eggsy smiled again, taking a step forward. “I don’t expect yeh to understand. Yeh are too much of a bastard to get it.” 

The man had stopped smiling. “So what now.. _mr. Hart.”_

Eggsy’s eyes narrowed. “Now yeh tell me why the fuck yeh did all this shit in the first place.” 

The man’s brows shot up. “And why does that matter?” 

Eggsy shrugged. “Just wanna know, I guess.” 

The man moved away from the window, taking off his jacket and leaving it on the floor. “The same reason why so many do the same.” 

Eggsy rolled his eyes, knowing that he was not going to get anything more out of the man. He suddenly stood up straighter, ready to fight. 

The man gave him an assessing look. “You’re injured.” 

_“Eggsy do you hear me?”_ Sam said suddenly in Eggsy’s ear. _“Oh my god, Eggsy, what are you-”_

Eggsy took his comm off, not wanting to listen to Sam anymore. He couldn’t afford to be distracted right now. He kept his glasses on, though. Sam would have him killed him otherwise - _if he made it out alive, of course_. 

Eggsy finally shrugged. “That ain’t yer problem, bruv.” With that, Eggsy lunged forward, his movements showing his current emotional state. 

He sparred with the man brutally, sending blow after blow, kicking viciously every time the man managed to tackle him down. The man blocked him as best as he could, but Eggsy was a force to be reckoned with. Even injured the younger man was as flexible as water, bending and twisting in ways that should not be physically possible.  

Wilder growled in annoyance as Eggsy kicked him hard enough to send him flying across the room. Wilder could feel the blood trickling down his nose, and he was pretty sure one of his ribs was broken. 

“You cannot possibly be injured and have that much flexibility,” the man coughed out.  

Eggsy smiled softly. “There’s nothin’ a good dose of painkillers can’t do.” 

The man’s eyes widened slightly as he noticed Eggsy’s shirt was now sporting large blotches of blood. Eggsy looked down at his shirt, wincing as he noticed the blood himself, but quickly looked up. 

He didn’t need Sam looking at his blood-soaked shirt. He didn’t want to give her any more nightmares. 

Finally the man stood up, spitting blood to the side, and sighed softly. “It’s moments like these when the “no guns in a meeting” rule sounds antiquated.”

Eggsy couldn’t help but chuckle as he took his own jacket off. They had taken all of his weapons as well - except for the blades still hidden in the little pockets inside the shirt. 

The man gave him a cold look before smiling again. “Are you ready, Galahad?” 

Eggsy said nothing as he threw himself at the man again, screaming when he felt a blade pierce his skin. 

“Still, I always like to carry a little something with me,” the man admitted as drew out a small pocket knife from Eggsy’s body. Eggsy looked at the man, taking a harsh breath as he pulled out his own knife and stabbed the man in the gut. 

“Yeah, I do the same,” Eggsy panted out as the man fell to the floor, dead. 

Eggsy grunted in pain as he touched his blood soaked shirt, pressing the wound. He swayed back and forth as his blood began gushing out uncontrollably both from the stab wound and the bullet wound he had just reopened in his fight with Wilder. 

He staggered backwards, bracing himself with his hands as he leaned against the wall. He brought his blood-dripping hands up to chest level, frowning when he noticed his marriage ring was covered in blood. He wiped it against his trousers, smiling softly as the gold shined softly under the lights. 

He reckoned he looked like a fucking mess, but at least he'd die wearing his ring - which was more than many people like him could say. He'd die silently letting the world know he was  _Harry's_. He'd die knowing he had fulfilled his  promise in earnest - he had protected his king till the end. His husband was safe, and the mission was finally over.

He could finally let go; let go of the anguish, the worry,the anger, the loneliness, the regret. 

He felt his legs give in as he fell to his knees, his vision darkening alarmingly fast. He fell on his back, grunting in pain as he did so. 

"He's safe, Merlin," he whispered softly - half delirious - as he looked out the window at the beautiful night sky, feeling disoriented. "My ‘arry's finally safe."

The sky was beautiful tonight. He was sure Harry would have loved it if he had been there with him. Eggsy would have curled up against the man, and they would have stayed there for hours, just enjoying one another. Harry would have kissed his lips, and then his eyelids, he would have played with Eggsy’s hair, lulling him to sleep. 

Harry would have told him some inane story about the stars to see if Eggsy would laugh. He would have held him close to keep him from the cold he was feeling right now. 

_Come to bed, love. It’s getting late_ Harry would have whispered, not wanting Eggsy to be tired in the morning.

“I’m coming, babe, just gimme a minute.” Eggsy whispered, shivering unconsciously. He closed his eyes as his breathing became more and more labored.   

There were worse ways to go, he figured.

_Yeah, there were definitely worse ways to go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* don't die on me now, guys.


	30. Back Where We Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”  
> ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

_“Can you hear me?” Sam murmured as she fished out one of Eggsy’s guns and unlocked it._

_Merlin whipped his head around as Sam’s voice suddenly broke the awkward silence of the plane. “Sam what-”_

_“Eggsy’s in that party, but I lost connection so I’m going in to go find him.”_

_Merlin frowned in confusion, noticing Harry’s sudden hyper alert state. “What party? What are you talking about?”_

_“They will be announcing Albee’s successor today, Merlin. They changed the location. We’re in L.A.”_

_Harry pushed the button on his armchair, and barked out. “Change the route. We’re heading for L.A.”  He looked out the window, his face clouded by worry. “Get us there as fast as possible.”_

_“Yes sir, of course sir” the pilot murmured softly._

_“Sam, connect me to Eggsy’s feed,” Merlin murmured quickly, gripping the table with more force than necessary._

_“I don’t have one, Merlin. The signal is down,” Sam snapped as she found her boots._

_Merlin rolled his eyes. “Just patch me to his feed, Sam. I can fix it from here.”_

_Sam bit her lip but did as she was told. She grabbed the pair of Kingsman-issued glasses she had taken with her before leaving London and put them on. “Pass me the feed once you have it back online. I’m heading out now.”_

_Merlin said nothing, immediately opening the network to fix the problem. He worked like a man demented, clicking away on his keyboard, not even looking up once Harry started pacing around the plane, his eyes lost._

_Harry looked like a caged animal, ready to pounce. Never had he felt this powerless, this worried, this… angry at the world. It wasn’t often that Arthur got so wound up, but the few that had seen him in such a state before knew that no good could come once he finally unleashed his anger on whoever it was that had inflicted harm upon him._

_After a few minutes the magician sighed in relief. “I’ve got it, Sam. The feed is back up.”_

_Harry ran back to Merlin’s side, looking at the computer as if it held all the answers to his problems._

_“Eggsy can you hear me?” Sam murmured. “Oh my god, Eggsy, what are you doing?”_

_Harry sucked in a deep breath at the sight of Wilder, in a dark building, clearly getting ready to fight._

_“No,” Harry breathed out, grabbing Merlin’s shoulder without realizing. “No, Eggsy, wait-”_

_“He can’t hear you, sir,” Sam admitted softly, as she flew past the gate. She got out of her car, thanking heavens that they had been close to the HQ, fixing her shoe as she ran up the stairs. “He took his fucking comm off. Merlin do you know which building he’s in?”_

_“It looked like the old abandoned building,” the magician replied immediately. “It’s past the lake.”_

_“Roger that,” Sam said, growling suddenly as security stopped her._

_“Ma’am, you can’t walk in with a weapon,” the man said, giving her a deathly glare._

_“Let me talk to them, Sam,” Harry said immediately, his eyes flashing with his built up fury._

_The young woman did as she was told, feeling a pang of guilt for throwing the poor agent to the wolves. “Here, Arthur wants to talk to you.”_

_The man frowned, hesitantly taking the comm unit._

_“You will let my agent through, right now,” Harry barked out coldly as soon as he saw the man put the comm unit on his ear through Sam’s glasses. “She has my explicit permission to carry that weapon. Now get out of her way.”_

_The man gaped, looking insulted. “Excuse me, but I have no proof that you are Arthur.”_

_Harry growled, becoming impatient. He took out his phone, immediately dialing Albee’s number. The man picked up after the first ring. “Albee tell your fucking security team to let my agent through.”_

_“Arthur?” The man murmured, surprised by the viciousness in Harry’s tone. “What-”_

_“Today, Albee” Harry hissed out. “I don’t have time to waste, for fuck’s sake.”_

_“I’m heading for the door right now,” the man murmured quickly, still startled by Harry’s sudden rage._

_“If my agent is not let inside within the next minute I will have the agent that is keeping her shot for disobeying my orders,” Harry growled, his tone letting the other man know how serious his threat was._

_Albee reached the door, looking at the young woman with a gun it hand. “Ibsen, let her through.”_

_The man gave Sam back her comm unit that he had been holding in his hand, a hint of fear crossing his features as he realized he had disobeyed a direct order from Arthur._

_“Arthur, what is this about?” Albee murmured, frowning at his agent with worry in his eyes. “Why is your agent carrying a gun?”_

_“You have a mole among your ranks, Albee,” Harry said quickly. “And my husband’s life is in danger because of that mole.”_

_Albee’s eyes widened. “A mole? What the hell are-”_

_“Follow my agent, Albee. I don’t have time to explain right now,” Harry said as he hung up, not caring about politeness at the moment._

_“You cannot possibly be injured and have that much flexibility,” the Wilder on the screen coughed out, sprawled on the floor, looking at Eggsy with a hint of annoyance._

_“There’s nothin’ a good dose of painkillers can’t do.”  Eggsy murmured, making Harry’s heart twinge painfully. Eggsy was pushing himself past his limits._

_Harry looked down, feeling sick. He couldn’t bear to watch this, and yet his eyes inevitably snapped back to the screen in morbid need to know what would happen next._

_Eggsy suddenly looked down, his bloodied shirt coming into view. Harry sucked in a deep breath, his grip on Merlin’s shoulder tightening. He felt his vision blur as every alarm in his body went off once the extent of Eggsy’s injuries finally became clear._

_“Sam, hurry,” Harry breathed out. “He’s going to kill, Eggsy if you don’t hurry.”_

_Sam flew past the myriad of people, pushing whoever dared to cross her path. She gripped the gun tighter, feeling her heart in her mouth. She wasn’t sure if Harry would survive losing Eggsy._

_She needed to get there._

_Wilder stood up, spitting blood to the side, and sighed softly. “It’s moments like these when the “no guns in a meeting” rule sounds antiquated.”_

_Harry felt a respite of relief; at least the man couldn’t end his husband’s life so quickly. Sam had time. His heart seized again,however, at the sound of Eggsy’s tired chuckle. It sounded unnatural, forced almost._

_The man gave his husband a cold look before smiling again. “Are you ready, Galahad?”_

_Harry stood up straight as Eggsy launched himself at the man, biting his lower lip. Suddenly, Eggsy’s pain filled scream pierced the room._

_“No!” Harry howled, the wounded sound ripping out of his throat with such a strength it gave Merlin goosebumps._

_“Still, I always like to carry a little something with me,”  Wilder grunted, the squelching sound of a knife being drawn out of a body making Harry’s blood run cold._

_Suddenly Eggsy drew out his own blade, stabbing the man in the gut with a viciousness he rarely showed. “Yeah, I do the same,” Eggsy panted out as the man fell to the floor, dead._

_Eggsy staggered backwards before suddenly looking dow. He raised his blood soaked hands to chest level, the sight leaving Harry hollow. Harry looked at the bloodied ring, covering his mouth as a fresh wave of nausea hit him._

_“Eggsy,” Harry sobbed, his knees giving out. “ My poor Eggsy.”_

_The younger man suddenly collapsed, looking out the window as he murmured "He's safe, Merlin…My ‘arry's finally safe.”_

_Harry let out an inhuman howl as sobs wracked through his body. He covered his face, his mind whirling out of control as sorrow filled his very blood._

_Eggsy was dead._

_He had been too late._

_He shook violently as a new wave of sobs seized him, his body swaying like a boat in a thunderstorm. He cried out Eggsy’s name over and over again, memories flashing through his grief stricken mind._

_Eggsy was dead._

_“Harry,” Merlin whispered, falling to his knees next to his friend._

_“Eggsy!” Sam suddenly screamed, coming into view on the screen. “Get the doctor’s ready,” She snapped at someone on her side. “He needs immediate medical attention.”_

_Harry’s head snapped up at that, a slimmer of hope squirming its way inside his heart._

_His husband wasn’t dead yet._

_A team of Medics appeared out of nowhere, taking the glasses off of Eggsy as they hauled him to a stretcher, running out with him back to the mansion._

_Albee barked orders left and right, thanking the heavens that his entire personnel was there. He looked at the younger man as they hurried him to the infirmary, feeling a pang of pity for Harry. He could see why the man had been so worried before; Eggsy didn’t look good._

_Merlin looked at his friend, his eyes filled with sadness. He suddenly stood up, taking something out of his bag before coming back to kneel next to Harry._

_“I’m sorry, Harry but you need this,” the magician murmured, not letting Harry respond as he injected the man with a sleeping serum._

_Harry touched the side of his neck, giving Merlin a betrayed look before falling to the floor, unconscious._

_———————————-_

Harry woke up with a start, squinting as the harsh, bright lights hit him straight in the eye. He looked around, immediately realizing that he was in a hospital room. He sat up, kicking the blankets off as he stood up. He swayed slightly as his still weakened body fought to keep up with his now racing mind. 

He ran to the door, opening it with little difficulty. He grabbed the first nurse he saw, feeling slightly guilty about startling her. 

“Where is he? Where is my husband?” He demanded, relentless. 

The woman swallowed hard, looking at the hand that was still holding her wrist. “He was just move to one of our recovery rooms, sir. He’s still unconscious.” 

Harry’s grip suddenly tightened to hold himself up as his knees gave out again, this time in relief. The young woman grabbed him by his forearms, her eyes turning worried. 

“Sir, are you-”

“I need to see him, _now_ ,” Harry said in a tone that made it clear he wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

The young woman nodded, guiding Harry quickly to Eggsy’s room. She walked down the hallway, not saying anything about the fact that Harry was still holding on to her wrist. She turned to the right, opening the first door on that hallway. 

“Thank you,” Harry murmured softly, forgetting how to breathe as he saw Eggsy unconscious on his bed. 

“Sir,” the young woman suddenly murmured. “I’m not sure if I’m supposed to tell you this but… the doctor isn’t sure if the patient will wake up,” she admitted, a hint of fear in her eyes. “They’re hoping for the best, but-”

Harry nodded, not sure he could hear any more. Harry had thought Eggsy looked weak back in London, after fighting Bedivere, but now he looked… _dead_. 

Harry sat down on a chair next to Eggsy’s bed, interlacing his finger’s with Eggsy’s, not noticing when the nurse slipped out of the room. 

“Oh my love,” Harry murmured, his eyes two pits full of sorrow and heartbreak. “Please, love, _please_ wake up. I can’t do this without you,” Harry confessed softly. “I can’t - _I won’t_ \- live if you aren’t there by my side, Eggsy, so please, _please…”_

There was a knock at the door, and Harry’s eyes snapped up just as Merlin opened the door. The man had the decency to give him an apologetic look. 

“You would have worried yourself sick, otherwise, and you would have terrorized the entire American branch,” Merlin said quickly. “There was nothing you could do to help, except stay out of their way.” 

Harry nodded stiffly, not trusting his voice at the moment. His eyes focused back on Eggsy, his mouth turning back into a grim line. 

Merlin sighed, looking at his friend with compassion in his eyes. “He’ll be fine, Harry. He’s a strong man.” 

Harry nodded, wanting very badly to believe Merlin’s words only to find that he couldn’t. He couldn’t allow himself to hope, not now. He had the dreadful feeling that this was fate’s way of punishing him for all his past crimes. 

What better way to destroy him than to take Eggsy from him?  

“You should eat something, Harry,” Merlin said softly, treating Harry as cautiously as one would a wild animal. 

Harry shook his head, finally looking back up at Merlin, his eyes suddenly turning softer. “Merlin, you can stop worrying about me,” Harry said with a small, hesitant smile, hoping to finally free Merlin from the remaining vestiges of their friendship that clearly still clung to the man. “It is not your duty to watch over me.You should go and rest for a bit.” 

Merlin’s brows show up, hurt crossing his fractions. “Harry, you are my friend, of course it is my duty to worry about you.” 

Harry frowned, confusion written all over his face. “Merlin, you made it perfectly clear that… our friendship was forfeit.” He took a deep breath, the subject still too raw for comfort. “You don’t need to try to-”

“What the fuck are you on about?” The magician hissed, suddenly angry. “Harry don’t be daft, I would never… oh my god, you actually thought-” The magician covered his mouth, looking stunned. “Harry why would I ever end the one thing that has been a constant in my life ever since I joined Kingsman?” 

Harry gave him a dumbfounded look, gaping at the man. “I-”

Merlin shook his head, coming to kneel in front of Harry. “You may drive me up the walls at times, Harry, but to end our friendship,” the magician choked on his own words, looking almost like a lost child. “I would never do that, Harry.” 

Harry cradled his friend’s cheeks, looking at him with wonder. “What did I do to deserve your friendship, Merlin?”

Merlin smiled at him. “You were there for me, Harry, when no one else was. You were there even when it meant putting your life at risk for my sake.” The magician suddenly surged up to envelop the man in a tight hug. “You’re like a brother to me, Harry. I’m not going to leave you on your own, especially not now.” 

Harry felt something inside him break as Merlin’s warmth enveloped him. His mind relaxed as a sense of safety filled him. He didn’t have to pretend to be strong with Merlin, because the man knew him better than anyone with the exception of Eggsy. The man knew that, right now, Harry was barely keeping his head above the water. The man knew that his friend needed Eggsy like he needed air to breathe. 

Harry suddenly let out a small sob, pulling Merlin closer, letting himself be comforted by his friend’s strong, unwavering presence. 

“It’ll be okay, Harry,” Merlin murmured. “He will come back to you. I know he will.” 

—————————————

Eggsy felt the darkness wash away slowly, becoming more aware of his body. Everything hurt, and he felt far too heavy. He tried opening his eyes, only to find that he couldn’t. His lids were too heavy. He struggled, feeling more and more frustrated as he realized not a single part of his body was responding to his command. 

He tried to talk but, again, his mouth wouldn’t move. 

He began growing restless until he realized there was something warm holding his hand. He concentrated on that comforting feeling. Whatever it was that was holding his hand - or what he assumed was his hand - was rubbing soft circles on his skin the way Harry used to do when they watched movies together. 

The though of Harry made Eggsy’s mind become hyperaware, a flash of white crossing through his eyes. He tried to move his hand with renewed effort, wanting to know what it was that was holding him. 

He supposed he managed to do it, for someone suddenly sucked in a breath next to him. 

“Eggsy?”a voice that sounded just like Harry’s murmured. “Eggsy can you hear me, love?” 

Eggsy tried to answer, wanting to know if it was really Harry. His heart fluttered at the though, his skin tingling with something other than pain. He tried and tried to respond but to no avail. 

“What happened?” Said another voice, this once with a Scottish tilt to it. 

_Merlin._

“He twitched his hands a few times,” Harry said, sounding like a hopeful child. “Do you think he’ll wake up soon?” 

“I hope so, my friend,” Merlin said, his tone comforting. 

Eggsy suddenly felt extremely tired again. He fought to stay awake, but the darkness took him once again, dragging him down. 

————-

Eggsy drifted to consciousness again, this time feeling more in control of his body. He opened his eyes, wincing as he was met with a harsh, white light. 

He tried to sit up, fining that he couldn’t. His body still felt too heavy for that. He groaned in annoyance, turning to look to the side. He sucked in a breath, surprised to find Harry there. 

The man was sitting on an uncomfortable looking chair, asleep, his suit looking rumpled. He had deep, dark bags under his eyes and he looked wearier than Eggsy had ever seen him.

“Harry,” he croaked out, his voice rough with disuse. 

The man’s eyes snapped open almost immediately, inhaling sharply as he noticed Eggsy staring at him.  “Oh my god, Eggsy,” he whispered, leaning forward. “You’re awake.” 

Eggsy smiled softly, swallowing hard when he felt Harry take his hand. 

“Oh my love, I am so sorry,” Harry said, giving Eggsy a broken look. “I know I can’t ask this of you, but forgive me for everything.” He caressed Eggsy’s face softly, his hand shaking slightly. “Forgive me for forgetting you, and forgive me for being such an ass.” Harry took a deep breath, looking down. 

Eggsy’s eyes widened at that and he sucked in another deep breath, his heart trembling with a hope he had not allowed himself to feel ever since Harry’s incident. “‘arry, do you, did you-” Eggsy swallowed hard, not able to finish his sentence. 

Fortunately Harry seemed to know exactly what he was asking for he leaned closer, kissing Eggsy softly. “I remember everything, Eggsy,” he confirmed, giving his husband that smile he reserved only for him.

Eggsy grinned at Harry, a relieved sob escaping him. He brought his hand up, taking pleasure in running it through Harry’s disheveled hair. “I’ve missed yeh, babe,” Eggsy admitted, his eyes twinkling with mirth. 

“Oh, my love, I’ve missed you too,” Harry said. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to-” Harry suddenly stopped speaking as his eyes swelled with tears. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Eggsy whispered squeezing Harry’s hand. “I’m here now. I’m fine.” 

Harry nodded, still looking paler than normal. He suddenly pressed the button on the side of the bed. He winked at Eggsy as the younger man glared at him. 

The last thing he wanted was the doctor to come in right now. 

“Dr. Paris tried to escape once he found out Bedivere and Wilder were dead,” Harry said in a conversational tone. 

Eggsy hissed out in anger, clenching his fists angrily. “That fucking-”

“It’s alright, my heart.” Harry patted his hand. “Roxanne went after him and found him within twenty four hours.” 

“What did she do?” Eggsy asked, almost afraid of the answer. 

“She brought him back to me,” Harry said darkly. “She knew I wanted to deal with him… _personally_.”

“Are yeh gonna tell me what yeh did to ‘im or do i ‘afta dig for the report?” Eggsy asked with a knowing look. 

“I’m afraid there isn’t a report,” said Harry without looking at Eggsy.

Eggsy’s brows shot up. How badly had Harry hurt the man that they had decided it was best to keep this off the records? Just as he gathered the courage to prod again, the door burst open. 

Merlin smiled at Eggsy as he came in, the doctor hot on his heels. 

“Good to see you awake, lad. I was starting to worry about having to find a new Arthur, given that Harry refuses to leave this room.” 

Harry gave his friend a pointed glare as Eggsy asked “How long was I out?” 

“A little over a week,” the doctor admitted, giving him a small smile. “We’ll have to do a check up now, and we also need to change your bandages.” 

Eggsy gaped, turning to look at Harry’s pained expression. He felt a cold dread wash over him; Harry had had to endure the uncertainty of not knowing whether he’d wake up or not for over a week and it was obvious that he was still reeling from that. 

Eggsy suddenly squeezed his husband’s hand, giving him a sheepish look that Harry kissed away. If there was someone that needed to be sorry, it was Harry not Eggsy.

Still, he preferred to think that those blasted twelve days had been his penitence for the wrongs he had committed against his husband. 

Merlin gave them a moment before looking at Harry as he murmured. “And while the doctor does that you can come with me. We have things to do, Harry.” 

Harry glared pointedly at his friend, making it clear to Eggsy that this was a discussion they had already had numerous times in the past week. “Merlin, I told you already, I’m not leaving my _husband_ to go to a bloody-”

“Harry you need to be there,” Merlin said with a roll of his eyes. “It’s protocol.”

Harry scoffed. “Because we’re so good at following protocol.”   

“Be there for what?” Eggsy asked, resenting the fact that he was completely out of the loop. 

“We have found our new Galahad,” Merlin said, giving him an unreadable look. 

Eggsy’s face fell at that. While he had been excalibur, he hadn’t actually had the time to sit and think about the fact that he was no longer Galahad, that somebody else would now sit to Harry’s right. He had been trying at the time merely to survive his day to day without thinking about the fact that his husband couldn’t remember him. Now, however, the knowledge that someone else would be taking his place as Harry’s knight threatened to undo him.

Merlin suddenly chuckled as he came to squeeze his shoulder. “Don’t worry, lad. We didn’t forget about you. You’ll just have a new codename now.”

Eggsy frowned. “What’s it gonna be?”

“Ah, we’ll decide that once you’re healthy and approved to go back to the field,” Merlin said with a wink. He looked back at Harry. “Come on, Arthur, the faster we go, the faster you can come back.

Harry scowled but finally gave in. He stood up but leaned down again to kiss Eggsy one last time before leaving. He kissed him desperately, as if he was afraid he wouldn’t get another chance. 

Eggsy ran his hand through Harry’s hair, biting the man’s lower lip as he pulled him closer. He moaned as Harry played with his tongue, the tinge of desperation never fading. 

“Harry, we’re already late,” Merlin said, a tinge of exasperation in his voice. “You can kiss each other better later.” 

“I love you,” Harry whispered in Eggsy’s ear. “I love you more than anything in this world, my darling.” 

Eggsy’s eyes prickled at that. He kissed Harry again as he murmured “And I love you, ‘arry.”

The doctor cleared his throat, blushing at the blatant display of affection. 

Harry gave him a curt look. “I expect you to treat him well while I’m not here,” he murmured in a threatening tone. 

Eggsy swatted his arm softly, stifling a purr. “Stop bein’ so damn protective. I’ll be fine. Now go so yeh can come back quickly.” 

Harry finally nodded, giving Eggsy’s hand one last squeeze before he reluctantly left the room. 

Merlin stayed a moment longer, looking at Eggsy fondly. “You gave us a right scare, lad. I‘ve never seen Harry that stressed. He refused to leave the room for the first three days. He wouldn’t even eat.” He squeezed Eggsy’s arm comfortingly. “ I had to threaten to sedate him before he finally acquiesced to take a shower and eat, and even then I couldn’t convince him to not stay over every night.”

Eggsy felt his throat dry up. “Did he sleep here every night?”

“Yes, he did. He worked from his computer here in the morning, but refused to meet with anyone that wasn’t me or Roxy.” He sighed. 

“Why are yeh tellin’ me this?” Eggsy asked, suddenly suspicious. 

Merlin smiled at him. “I know you’ve been doubting Harry’s feelings for you these past few months,” Merlin said softly. “So this is me telling you that he _does_ love you, more than life itself.” The magician’s eyes suddenly looked old and weary. “You are the reason he wakes up every morning, Eggsy, don’t ever doubt that.” 

Eggsy tried to swallow past the knot that formed in his throat. He had forgotten how easily Merlin could read him. He nodded slowly, looking at Merlin in the eye. “Thank you, Merlin, for everything.” 

The man nodded as he headed towards the door. “Oh, and I called your mother,” Merlin admitted. “She should be here soon.” 

Eggsy winced, already picturing how badly that was going to go. His mom was going to rip him a new one for not having told her anything. Still, perhaps the whole being in a convalescent state would appease her rage. 

“You should thank Daisy,” Merlin muttered with a smile.

Eggsy’s brows shot up. “Why?”

“Oh, I’m going to let her tell you that story.” The magician gave him a wink before leaving the room, leaving Eggsy alone with the doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, we're almost at the end of the story! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll try to upload the next chapter soon :)


	31. My darling Guinevere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot.”  
> ― E.A. Bucchianeri,
> 
> P.S this chapter contains a bit of (not too explicit) rimming. If that is not your thing (which is perfectly fine if you don't like that) then read the first half of the chapter, then skip the sex scene, and read the last few lines ;)

Eggsy opened the door to his mother’s house, a boyish smile gracing his face. Harry walked in right behind him, helping Eggsy out of his coat as soon as he had closed the door. Harry chuckled as soon as he heard Daisy’s high pitched squeal, turning to look at her. 

The girl rand down the hallway, throwing herself unto Harry’s arms with outmost delight. “Good morning, my princess,” Harry said as he picked her up and showered her with kisses. 

Daisy grinned at him, her curls bouncing up and down as she giggled. “Uncle ‘arry, They told me I’m gonna get a new belt. I’m gonna use an orange one now.” 

“Oh darling I’m so proud of you,” Harry cooed, pecking her cheek again. “Did they tell you when the ceremony is?” 

“It’s next Saturday,” said Michelle, coming out of the kitchen with a pair of oven mittens in one hand. “Morning, loves.” 

Harry walked quickly towards Michelle, leaning down to kiss the woman’s cheek with Daisy still sitting comfortably in his arms. Michelle smiled at both of them, giving Harry a look that was meant to be disapproving but was too fond to actually make the man do anything other than wink at her. 

It was a known fact that Harry spoiled Daisy at every chance he got, which was why the girl loved him so much. The man, along with Eggsy, had stepped up to help Michelle raise Daisy. The man had gone so far as to pay her education, her piano and dancing lessons, as well as her Silat lessons, which he had insisted she needed to take given that he was a paranoid bastard who wouldn’t have Daisy running around without being able to fully protect herself. 

Michelle had fought him at first when he had come to her with the idea of having Daisy take Silat. She had done her research, and she knew how deathly her daughter could become if she trained. Harry had convinced her quickly enough, however, when he had pointed out that neither he nor Eggsy had safe jobs, and he refused to have Daisy grow up defenseless. It had also helped that he had promised Michelle that he wouldn’t even consider bringing Daisy into what she called the “family business”, unless Daisy herself insisted, and even then he had assured her he would not let anyone propose her until she turned - at the very least - twenty three. 

“Hullo mum,” Eggsy said as he came to stand next to Harry, kissing his mother’s cheek softly. “

“Hey babe,” his mother said as she brought him in for a hug. “Yeh are lookin’ much better, ya know?” 

“I still think a few more weeks of rest would be good,” Harry said shamelessly, looking at Michelle for approval. 

“Don’t yeh dare to side with ‘im, mum,” Eggsy warned as he pulled away. “It’s been six months. I’m fine now. I’m ready to work again.” 

Michelle hummed noncommittally, eliciting an annoyed huff from her son. “Yeh know what tehy say. Yeh gotta listen to yer boss, babe.” 

Eggsy balked at the both of them, frowning. “I’ve been cleared by my doctor, and by Merlin.” 

“Merlin just got married, love,” Harry said immediately. “He’s not exactly paying attention.” 

“I don't think he'd agree, ya know?” Eggsy said with a half smile as he took Daisy from Harry’s arms. “Yeh agree with me, don’t ya flower? Yer big bruv can go back to work again, right?”

“Are you gonna get hurt again?” The girl said with a dubious look. 

“Nah, flower, I’m gonna be fine,” Eggsy assured her with a wink. 

“We’ll discuss it later,” Harry said, sounding amicable, but Eggsy knew a command when he heard it. 

His eyes narrowed but he nodded, knowing that Harry was right. This was something he would need to straighten out with Harry on his own, in the privacy of their own home. He knew why Harry was so hesitant to send him back out. Harry had not yet forgiven himself for what had happened, even though Eggsy had told him multiple times that his decision’s weren’t Harry’s fault, especially when considering the man couldn’t remember anything at the time. 

Still, much like Eggsy had done after they had found Harry alive after V-day, Harry wouldn’t let Eggsy out of his sight for the first month. He refused to take any meetings that were not London based, and he refused to leave Eggsy’s side at the hospital until he was discharged two weeks after he had woken up. He accompanied Eggsy to every single therapy session, working in the corner while Eggsy worked with his doctor. He stayed up most of the night, both working and watching over Eggsy. 

It wasn’t until Eggsy had angrily told him that if he continued that way he would drive himself to an early grave that Harry had relented, if only slightly. It also tugged at Eggsy’s heart every time Harry woke up screaming his name, a wounded look on his face. Harry apologized every time it happened as he shook in Eggsy’s arms, needing to touch Eggsy to make sure he was still there, that there wasn’t any blood coming out of his mostly healed wounds. The younger man lulled Harry back to sleep every time, assuring him that Eggsy was fine and that no, he wasn’t angry for being woken up - Eggsy had done the same to Harry those first few months sleeping in a bed together, after all. 

Still, even though he knew exactly how Harry felt, he was tired of not being able to work; he was restless. He needed to get back to the field, feel the rush of adrenaline, the fight or flight instinct. Hell, he even missed the boring recon missions at this point. 

Harry squeezed his hand comfortingly, snapping Eggsy out of his thoughts. “Are you alright?” He said softly, leaning in so that only Eggsy could hear him. 

Eggsy nodded, feeling a sudden rush of love for his husband. He kissed Harry, winking at him softly. “Just thinkin’” he said as he noticed that Daisy was nowhere to be found. “Where did Daisy run off to?” 

Harry raised a brow at him, clearly concerned about the fact that Eggsy had been so far inside his head that he hadn’t noticed his sister jumping out of Harry’s arms. “She went to help your mother set the table.” 

Eggsy nodded, squeezing Harry’s hand again. “Stop worryin’, babe. ‘m fine. C’mon we gotta go ‘elp or mum is gonna throw a fit.” He smiled at Harry’s dubious look, kissing his lips softly before sauntering away. Eggsy knew the man would prod him about this again later, but he didn’t mind. 

Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the afternoon with his family, he wanted to watch Daisy and Harry play while he talked to his mum, he wanted to watch Harry do the dishes while Michelle dried them off.

Yes, that sounded like the kind of afternoon he needed right now, they both did. 

————-

Harry walked into their room, chuckling softly at the sight of Eggsy sprawled on their bed, his trousers, jacket, and tie all but gone. “Tired, I take it?” 

Eggsy hummed, watching intently as Harry walked around the room, taking his time to take off his tie and jacket. He moved to the dresser, leaving there his cufflinks to mingle with Eggsy’s. He removed his glasses, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, almost as if wanting to put on a show for his lover. He unbuckled his belt and left it on the chair, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper with precise movements. He kicked his pants off, leaving them on the floor as he moved back to the bed, kneeling on it as he shrugged off his shirt.

He smirked softly once he noticed Eggsy’s blown pupils. he raised a brow seductively. “Like what you see?”

“Yeh now I do,” Eggsy all but purred, pushing himself up to bring Harry closer. He grabbed Harry by his biceps, pulling him down to kiss him. Harry grabbed Eggsy by his hips, kissing him hungrily . Eggsy moaned softly, tracing his fingers down to Harry’s muscular chest. The man bit his lip, suddenly pulling away slightly. 

“Are you gonna tell me what you were thinking earlier today?”

Eggsy gasped as Harry suddenly pressed closer, feeling the man’s still clothed erection. “You really wanna talk about that now?” Eggsy said, holding back a moan. 

Harry suddenly pulled away, his expression turning serious. “I’d prefer if we did, if you’re amenable.” 

Eggsy groaned at the loss of contact, feeling a keen desire to just slap Harry for teasing him without following through. “I just… I miss bein’ on the field,”

Harry frowned. “I know my love, but your health-”

“Harry I’m fine now,” the younger man snapped, pulling away all together, rage flashing through his eyes. “The doctor cleared me, the physiatrist said I was fine and Merlin said he’d look into easy missions to get me started. I’m going back to work, ‘arry, and I’m not asking for yer permission.” 

Harry swallowed hard, but finally nodded, looking defeated. “I guess there’s no stopping you then.” He sighed, getting up from bed, his erection gone. 

“Where are yeh goin’?” Eggsy said, immediately pulling Harry back by his wrist. Perhaps he had been a bit too vicious with Harry. 

“I’m going to get my iPad,” the man said, wriggling himself out of Eggsy’s hold quickly enough. 

“What for?” Eggsy said, feeling an itch to follow Harry. 

Harry said nothing, leaving the room in a few long strides. Eggsy bit his lip, getting up soon enough. Harry never pulled away like that, not from him. He reached the man’s study, finding him sitting on the table, a small, desk lightdimly lighting the room. 

Harry looked back up, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You didn’t need to come with me, you know.” 

Eggsy rolled his eyes. “You suddenly leave the room, giving no explanation, and yeh are expecting me not to follow?” 

“I expect you to know I’ll come back,” Harry said easily, throwing his arm out for Eggsy to come closer. 

Eggsy moved to Harry’s side in an instant, finding comfort in the way the man’s hand immediately wrapped itself around his middle, Harry’s legs bracketing Eggsy in a cocoon of warmth. 

“I was just approving your file. You are now officially approved to go back to the field,” Harry said, his voice slightly tensed. “Merlin will probably contact you tomorrow to schedule your next briefing.” 

Eggsy looked at Harry with surprise. “I thought yeh were gonna put up more of a fight,” Eggsy admitted.

Harry huffed out a breath, stifling a smile. “I cannot keep you from doing what you love if you have been approved by the doctors,” he said stiffly. “Besides, I refuse to fight with you because of this.”

Eggsy nodded, kissing Harry’s cheek. “Thank you.” 

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” Harry said, pressing his forehead against Eggsy’s, closing his eyes. 

“I’m not going to die, ‘arry. I ‘ave a lot to lose,” Eggsy reminded him, kissing his forehead softly. “Besides, I can’t let the newbie beat me so easily.” 

Harry suddenly froze, his eyes snapping open. “Is that what this is about?” Harry said, his eyes narrowing. “Is this about Connor? Eggsy… are you jealous?” 

Eggsy sighed, hiding his face in Harry’s shoulder. “I feel like… I’m not needed anymore, ya know? I mean the kid’s a great agent, and-” 

Harry pulled away, cradling Eggsy’s face, looking at him straight in the eye “Eggsy you will always be needed,” Harry said as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. “You’re our finest agent, and that’s not going to change just because there’s a new Galahad.” Harry caressed his husband’s cheek. “There is no one I would trust more with my life, and not just because you’re my husband. Eggsy you are brilliant, and loyal, and a fucking good agent; you know that. In fact, Connor is always asking about old missions of yours.” Harry smiled at his husband. “Not to mention, my love, that the Kingsman would not survive without their queen.” 

Eggsy blushed, slapping Harry’s arm softly. “Don't joke.” 

“Oh no, I am being serious,” Harry said, kissing Eggsy’s nose. “I cannot survive without you, Eggsy. I wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for you. And the agents... they all love you too much to function properly without you around. It's your own fault for being so wonderful.”

Eggsy blushed, kissing Harry again. “I still wanna go back to the field, though.” 

Harry sighed but nodded, kissing his husband. “I’m sure Connor will be thrilled to go with you on a mission.”

Eggsy groaned. “I’d rather not, if yeh don’t mind.” 

Harry frowned again. “What is it with you and Connor? I though you two were going to get along well. He is very much like you, love. Don’t you think you should give him a chance?”

Eggsy let out an annoyed huff. “That’s not the problem-”

“Then what is?” Harry said, placing his hands on Eggsy’s hips, rubbing comforting circles. 

“Oh come on, ‘arry. He’s a fit, good lookin’ bloke who literally salivates every time yeh walk into the room.” Eggsy said, clenching his jaw. “You are _mine_. I don’t like it when he gets all-”

Harry suddenly took Eggsy’s chin in his hand. “Do you honestly think I would ever look at another man when I get to come back to you every night? There is _no one_ I find more ravishing than you, Eggsy. Even when I couldn’t remember you, I was attracted to you, to your lips, to your body.” Harry’s eyes darkened as he squeezed Eggsy’s hip with his free hand. “During those months I used to dream about you,about us sleeping together. I would wake up hard, not knowing why the hell I wanted you so much when I didn't even bloody know you. Do you know how often I get distracted by how much I want you? How much I love you? Connor could come to me naked and willing and I would still turn him away, because I have a much lovelier adonis waiting for me at home.” Harry suddenly stood up, pushing Eggsy backwards as he walked them out of the study. “Not to mention, Connor is not actually gay, love. He has a lovely girlfriend named Ella, whom he intends to marry.” 

Eggsy's shocked expression was worth revealing a bit of the agent's private life. They reached their room in no time. Harry kept walking them backwards, pushing Eggsy back onto the bed. He quickly divested the younger man of his briefs, drinking in the lovely sight of Eggsy naked, splayed on the bed. 

“Harry what are you doing?” He asked a bit breathlessly, loving how possessive Harry looked. 

“I’m going to show you just how beautiful you are,” Harry said in a gruff voice. He dipped down, licking a stripe up Eggsy’s neck. He traced his hand down Eggsy’s chest, his hand resting on Eggsy’s scar. He rubbed at the scar, suddenly leaning lower to kiss and lick at the scar. He moved slightly up again, biting Eggsy’s nipple without a warning. Eggsy moaned loudly, his toes curling with pleasure. 

Harry touched Eggsy’s ribs, dipping his hands lower to touch Eggsy’s lower back. He rubbed every small scar he found on his way, turning his attention away from Eggsy’s nipples in favor of kissing every scar on Eggsy’s chest. Harry squeezed Eggsy’s hips again, moving to rub Eggsy’s ass. 

Eggsy squirmed under Harry’s touch, his cock painfully hard. He moved his hand from where it was clutching Harry’s arm to his cock to relieve some of the building pleasure, but Harry slapped his hand away. 

Eggsy whined in displeasure, but did as Harry asked, fisting his hand in the sheets. Harry continued kissing his body, whispering y _ou’re so fucking beautiful or I can’t believe you’re all mine_ every few kisses.He spread Eggsy’s legs, kissing his thighs, studiously avoiding the younger man’s cock. 

“'arry, please-” Eggsy panted out desperately, feeling too strung up to do anything more than beg. 

Harry ignored Eggsy, kissing and biting the inside of the younger man’s thighs instead. 

“'arry!” Eggsy cried out, his hips jerking on their own accord. 

Harry placed his hands on Eggsy’s hips, holding him down with ridiculous ease. He looked up, a mischievous - almost naughty - smile gracing his lips. He tilted his head to the side. Eggsy planted his feet on the bed, spreading his legs even wider. 

Harry smiled, a predatory smile, before taking ahold of one of Eggsy’s legs, kissing his knee before nosing his way down to Eggsy’s crotch. Harry inhaled deeply, mouthing at Eggsy’s balls. 

Eggsy cried out, trembling with the force of his need. “'arry please-”

“You’re mouthwatering when you are like this,” Harry said, his voice rough with desire. He grabbed the back of Eggsy's thigh and squeezed it tightly. “so wanton, so pliant.” Harry licked a strip up Eggsy’s cock. “So responsive.”

Harry suddenly dipped lower, spreading Eggsy’s legs even further apart before pushing them up towards Eggsy’s chest. He suddenly kissed Eggsy’s hole, smiling at the strangled, breathless yelp he wrought out of Eggsy. He licked a stripe up Eggsy’s crack before suddenly breaching the younger man’s entrance, feeling Eggsy’s hole flutter around his tongue. 

Eggsy screamed out in pleasure, his vision blurring. His back arched off  of the bed as Harry  began licking him open, eating him out like he was the most delicious banquet he had had the fortune of trying. Eggsy shook with pleasure, his legs feeling like jelly as Harry spread his cheeks apart to go deeper.

Eggsy reached down to touch himself, his cock screaming for release. Harry batted his hand away, pulling away for long enough to say “oh, no, love, you’re going to come untouched tonight.” 

Eggsy whined loudly, almost sobbing with need. His brain was past the point of speaking, past the point of being able to explain to Harry that Eggsy _needed_ him to end the exquisite torture and just let him come already. He screamed again when Harry suddenly sucked at his hole, his brain short-circuiting. He felt like he was being split open, his body scrambling to understand the fire that was burning his insides, melting his brain, bringing him closer and closer to the edge. 

Harry suddenly pulled away, his chin wet with saliva and his lips pink and puffed from kissing and licking Eggsy open. Eggsy wasn’t sure if it was possible to come due to sight alone, but he was pretty sure that if he didn’t look away now he’d come. He closed his eyes, groaning as Harry moved to grab the lube that was on the nightstand. Eggsy shivered, trying to bring his body to move. Harry spread his legs again, breaching him with one finger. Eggsy groaned, squeezing his cheeks together, enjoying the feeling of fulness; still one finger wasn’t enough. He needed _more._   

“'arry-” Eggsy begged, not able to say much more than Harry’s name. 

Harry, however, seemed to know what he wanted for he immediately added another finger, curling them just so, brushing Eggsy’s prostate. Eggsy yelped, his back leaving the bed once again as he moaned loudly. Harry smiled, pumping his fingers in and out of Eggsy. 

“Fuck, Eggsy, If you could only see yourself,” Harry said lovingly. 

Eggsy, noticing how hard and red Harry’s cock was - begging to be touched - reached out to run his hand down Harry’s cock. Harry suddenly stilled, groaning loudly. He grabbed Eggsy’s hand, shaking his head quickly. 

“I’m going to come if you touch me, right now,” he admitted, blushing.

Eggsy moaned like an animal in heat, the thought of Harry being just as affected as he was by their coupling bringing him closer and closer to the edge. “'arry I don’t think I’m going to last.” 

The older man petted his hair, adding a third finger before guiding Eggsy’s hand up to his mouth. He licked two of Eggsy’s fingers into his mouth, eliciting a broken whimper from the younger man. 

“Fuckin’ hell, ‘arry,” Eggsy said as he closed his eyes, his cock twitching at the sight of Harry _sucking_ his fingers like he would Eggsy’s cock. 

The older man suddenly pulled his fingers out, and Eggsy immediately felt the loss. He gave Harry a pleading look. 

“I’ve got you, love,” Harry assured him, as he slicked his cock with lube. Harry took a few breaths, biting back his impending climax. It wasn’t the first time he had eaten out Eggsy, but there had been something different this time, something he couldn’t quite explain. 

He spread Eggsy’s legs, hitching them up to rest on his back. He kissed Eggsy, pulling in slowly. The younger man groaned as he felt Harry push in, feeling his body stretch to welcome Harry’s cock. They breathed together, both adjusting to the intense feeling. Eggsy kissed Harry again, rocking his hips softly to let Harry know it was okay to move now. Harry pulled back only to slam in all the way. Eggsy cried out in pleasure, scrambling for purchase as Harry set out a brutal pace. They moaned together, Eggsy rocking back every time Harry thrust into him, undulating his hips to get different angles. 

Eggsy gasped, almost blacking out with pleasure once Harry hit his prostate. Harry, noticing Eggsy’s reaction, made sure to hit the younger man’s prostate with every thrust. 

Eggsy moaned again, trying his best to hold out a little longer to no avail. 

“'arry!” He wailed, a flash of white clouding his vision as thick jets of white stained his and Harry’s bellies. Harry moaned, quickening his pace as he too approached his climax. He fucked Eggsy through his orgasm, biting the younger man's neck as Eggsy shuddered. Eggsy felt the bed slam against the wall behind them and he moaned again, almost delirious with pleasure.

“C’mon babe,” Eggsy said, his words slurred. “Come for me.” 

Harry groaned, his hips stuttering as he came. “Eggsy,” he growled, pushing in deeper as he coated Eggsy’s walls with his seed. 

Both men remained like that for a while, panting harshly, neither willing to move. Eventually, however, Harry pulled away, settling next to Eggsy. He reached blindly for the baby wipes they kept on the nightstand to clean them both up. 

Once clean, he pulled Eggsy closer, rubbing the younger man’s back lovingly. 

“Does that clear any doubts?” Harry said softly, kissing the top of Eggsy’s head. 

The younger man smiled lazily before looking up at Harry. “I don’t know, I may need more examples like this one.” 

Harry chuckled and nodded. “Well, I’ll be more than happy to help with that.” Suddenly his expression melted into one of utter love. 

Eggsy’s breath caught in his throat. “I think you already know this, but… _I love you_ , Harry.” 

Harry smiled, his eyes crinkling. He tilted Eggsy’s chip up to kiss him softly, languidly, before whispering. “I love my beautiful Eggsy.” He kissed Eggsy again, placing his hand on top of Eggsy's heart before looking deeply into the younger man’s eyes as he said “ _my darling Guinevere_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we have reached the end.  
> You know this was supposed to be a short fic, and yet it became my longest fic. I have truly enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride. I really hope you liked it. Thank you so so much to those that have stuck to this fic from the very beginning and to those that joined me later but were just as kind to me.  
> I am starting to work on my new fic (The Swan lake AU I mentioned on tumblr), so you'll see me - or rather my work - again soon ;)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the amnesia fic I've been talking about on tumblr :)  
> In this fic, as you may have noticed already, Harry and Eggsy are older. I disregarded their original ages, and put in my own (25 and 50), so in this fic they are 31 and 56 respectively.  
> I will also be trying a few new things with this fic, which I'm very excited about. There will be lots of flashback scenes that are to show a bit of contrast
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
